by L. P. Dover
I dump my beer in the sink and rush off to the club after texting Jenica back. Usually I would like more time so I can shower and feel clean, but thirty minutes doesn’t give me enough time.
When I pull in my anxiety level is at an all-time high. What if I hit her too hard or not hard enough? Do I use my hand or a paddle? The one time I spanked a woman was during sex. She liked it rough, but her definition of rough and mine were vastly different. She wanted welts on her ass and handprints left around her neck. I finished my deed and got my ass out of her apartment. That freaky shit isn’t for me.
Jenica is there to meet me at the door. I half smile when I see her, but she’s full on happy. “Let me take you to the room.”
Oh joy, can you please? I follow her down the hall, tempted to ask her what’s going on in the viewing room. My membership fee allows me to go in there, but I haven’t been tempted until now. Maybe I need some live action porn to get me over this funk or whatever it is that I’m feeling toward this woman. Unfortunately for me, I’m out of time because the play room door is staring me straight in the face.
“There’s an assortment of toys that you can use on your partner. She won’t be able to see you and she indicated that she’d like sex with anal penetration.”
Jenica smiles and disappears down the hall before the words register in my mind. Anal penetration. Is that supposed to be a toy I stick up her ass or my finger? Fuck, why isn’t there a rulebook with this place?
The door opens and I step in and slip off my shoes without looking at my partner. When I finally do, my heart sinks a little, but my cock starts dancing around as if he’s won the lottery.
Her ass is straight up in the air and her ankles are tied the posts on the table. I can’t believe I’m about to do this, and while I know it’s to please her, you can bet I won’t be asking for this in return.
Next to her is an assortment of toys that I can use. Different size paddles, whips, floggers, and something that is shaped like a heart. That’s cute. I can leave heart welts all over her backside. And there are the butt plugs. So at least I know she wants something shoved up her ass. Perfect. Just great.
She clears her throat, getting my attention. Her ass shimmies in the air, causing me to step back. Tilting my head, I look at her backside and her legs. Something seems off. When she grunts, I know this isn’t my partner. The woman I have been with is shy and reserved. She would never shake her ass or grunt to get my attention, and I can’t imagine she would bend over a table like this, bare-assed so I can spank her.
Stepping away from the table, I slip my shoes back on and press the button to leave the room. By the time the door opens, Jenica is there and she doesn’t seem pleased. “What’s wrong?” she asks.
“That,” I say, pointing toward the room, “isn’t the woman I have been with.”
“How could you possibly know, Kai? You’re not allowed to speak to the clientele. It’s in the contract you signed.”
“We aren’t speaking, but I can tell. A man knows things and that woman isn’t the same one.”
Jenica pulls out her phone and presses some buttons. “I’m afraid it is. You need to go back in there.”
I shake my head. “The woman I’ve been with is inexperienced. The one in the room, her demeanor says otherwise.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way, but we don’t make mistakes here.”
I glance back at the door and know that I’m right. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”
“But Kai—”
“No, listen. When I filled out that application, I did it so you’d leave me alone. My friend brought me here for lunch that day. I had no idea what this place was. I put things down on that form that I would never do to a woman, and spanking is one of them. That’s not who I am and that certainly isn’t the woman I requested. I’m sorry, but I can’t give that woman what she wants right now.”
With that I leave the club with Jenica calling after me. I don’t care if they revoke my membership and ban me for life at this point. I trust my instincts and those are telling me to run.
By the time I get home, I’m depressed. I was looking forward to seeing the woman tonight, and hopefully learning something new about her, but as my luck would have it, I’m going to drown my sorrow in a case of local brew and figure out how to cancel my membership.
I hate the thought of canceling and never seeing my lady friend again, but I can’t stomach going back there. That voodoo shit messed with my head one too many times, and I’m better off focusing on Sweet Briar, and maybe Dria if her mystery asshole will ever leave her alone.
Speaking of Dria, I pull out my phone and call her. It’s been hours since she dropped me off, and while I know I shouldn’t call her, I can’t help myself.
The phone rings four times and I’m about to hang up when I hear her come on. “Hello,” she croaks out. I sit up quickly, jostling my beer and spilling some on my shirt.
“Dria?”
“Hey, Kai.”
The sound of my name coming from her lips is such a turn on. I want to ask her to say it over and over again, but I refrain.
“Are you crying?”
She sniffles and tells me no. I think about calling her out on her little white lie, but I don’t want her to hang up.
“Want me to come over?” I ask.
She laughs. “No, I’m fine.”
“Yeah that’s probably best. I’ve had a little too much to drink anyway.”
“Are you drunk?”
I hold my bottle out as if she can see, and eye the other five or six sitting on my coffee table. “Maybe,” I say. “I don’t know because I haven’t moved in a while.”
“Perhaps I should join you.”
“Yes! Yes, you should. The beautiful Alexandria should come over so I can take care of her.” She laughs again and it’s music to my ear. “Tell me why you’re crying,” I plead.
“It’s a long story, Kai, and not one that I’m proud of.”
“Does it have to do with that text you received? It was from him, right?”
Dria sighs. “It was, sort of. I don’t know how to explain things between us. I thought … well, I don’t know what I thought, but after tonight it’s definitely over.”
“He didn’t like your almonds, huh?”
“No, I guess he didn’t.”
“I like your almonds,” I tell her, while trying not to laugh. Who knew that the nut could become a sexual innuendo? “I had fun earlier, Dria. A lot of fun. I’d like to see you again. Preferably on the other side of my door in about thirty minutes?”
“Oh, Kai. I can’t even believe you’re on the phone with me right now after the way I treated you. I should’ve never looked at my phone. I’m sorry I did, and I’m sorry I ruined our day. It was very selfish of me.”
“And you’re on your way over?” I hedge.
Dria laughs. “And what would we do while I was there?”
“I can think of a hundred things we could do. Most of them revolve around kissing because let’s face it, I didn’t get enough of your lips today. Or we could watch a movie, snuggle on my couch, finish off my case of beer or play Twister.”
“Do you actually have Twister?”
“Uh … not the board game version.”
“Oh,” she says, suddenly quiet.
“Seriously, though. I want to see you again.”
“Okay,” she replies, causing me to sit up even more.
“Yeah? Good. I know this is going to sound stupid, but I’d like to make you dinner.”
“That’s not stupid at all,” she says.
“But it is. You’re a chef. I’m sure you can cook circles around me.”
“No one besides my mom has ever cooked for me, Kai. So I would really like that.”
Dria and I stay on the phone for an hour while I sober up. I ask her again if she wants to talk about her night, but she changes the subject quickly. Whatever happened this evening has really put her in a funk, but I’m determined to help her get over
him. One home-cooked meal at a time.
Twenty
Alexandria
If there was ever a clusterfuck of a night it was tonight. I dump Kai for my mystery guy, only to get my heart broken. I thought about calling Dani to tell her what happened, but I couldn’t even stomach the embarrassment. I’m done with Society X. There’s no way I can ever show my face there again. My heart was crushed, but maybe it’s for the best. Unfortunately, all I can think about as I drive to Kai’s is how my night in the dark room ended.
I show up at the club and Jared takes me to the dark room. I’m nervous to be in there, but I take off my clothes and lie on the bed. A part of me is torn because I have feelings for Kai, and yet, I’m there about to be with another man. The more time that ticks by, I question why I’m there. When the door opens, I’m shocked to see a shine of light as well. I look up, thinking I’ll see my mystery man, but instead, it’s Jared. Clearing his throat, he directs his gaze at the floor.
“I’m sorry, Alexandria. Your partner never showed up.”
The world crashes all around me and I jump out of bed, rushing past him into the dressing room. I throw on my clothes and leave, never once looking back.
Tears stream down my cheeks and I angrily wipe them away. How dare he ask me to the dark room and not show? My mind is set. I never want to be with him again. When I get to Kai’s apartment, I can smell the scent of garlic and oregano outside the door. My stomach growls. Maybe I can eat my way out of a broken heart. Before I can knock, the door opens. Kai gets one look at my face and his smile fades. He pulls me into his arms.
“He’s not worth it, Dria.”
Burying my head in his chest, I breathe him in. “Call me Alex,” I whisper.
He rubs my back. “Alex it is then.”
“I’m so very sorry. Please forgive me for today.”
Clutching my arms, he pulls me away, his expression serious. “There’s nothing to apologize for. We both made mistakes today.”
My brows furrow. “What have you done?”
“Nothing worth talking about,” he replies with a shake of his head. “All that matters is that it’s over and we’re here now.”
I nod, even though my heart still hurts. “The food smells delicious. I’m sensing Italian.”
He grins. “Chicken Parmesan. Then for dessert, I have a shit ton of chocolate ice cream. Or if you prefer chocolate frosting we can run down to the store.”
“The ice cream’s fine,” I giggle.
Taking my hand, Kai leads me into his apartment. His brown leather couch and chair probably cost more than all the furniture in my house. When I sit down on the couch, he pours us both a glass of white wine.
“I think we both could use it.”
I scoff. “That’s an understatement.”
The wine goes down like water and I can already feel it coursing through my veins. Kai sits down beside me, but he keeps a little space between us. “Care to talk about it?”
Grabbing the bottle of wine, I fill my glass to the rim. “There’s really nothing to say. He wants to meet me and then he doesn’t show up.” I gulp down more of the wine. “Doesn’t matter anyway. It was stupid to even consider it. What we had wasn’t real.” Taking a deep breath, I gaze into his eyes. “Not like what we have between us. Spending time with you today felt amazing.”
He reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I agree. I’m just hoping you’ll drop those walls of yours and let me in. I don’t like sharing those I care about with other men.”
Hearing those words sends a flood of warmth through my body. I’ve never had a man want me all to himself. Then again, I’ve never had anything serious before. “What about you?” I counter. “If you don’t want to share me, does that go for you as well?”
“Is that what you want?”
For a second, I contemplate it all. Am I really ready for a commitment after I just lost my virginity to another man? “I’ll let you know,” I say sweetly. “I think I just need a little more time.”
His lips pull back in a sly grin. “Okay, I get it. It’s probably for the best. There’s no need to rush.” A part of me wants to give in, but my heart’s not ready for it. He pats my leg and stands. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.” He takes my hand and I follow him into the kitchen. Everything smells so amazingly good. “Have a seat,” he says, pulling out a chair. After fixing my plate, he sets it down in front of me. When he sits down, I can’t help but stare at him in awe. His brows lift. “Everything okay?”
I glance down at my food and it looks delicious. “It’s more than okay. I’m just shocked is all.”
“Of what?”
“You,” I reply. “I’m not used to a man serving me. I grew up with my mother doing everything for my father. The man doesn’t even make his own dinner plate.” I stuff a bite of chicken in my mouth and it practically melts it’s so good.
Kai shook his head. “That’s kind of fucked up. My father never expected my mother to take care of him.”
I shrug. “My mother doesn’t mind doing the things she does, but I knew long ago I didn’t want to be like that. It’s one of the reasons I left. If my parents had their way, I’d be married with ten kids.”
Kai bursts out laughing. “Sounds like my mother. She’s dying to have grandkids.”
“Is she the one who taught you how to cook?” I ask, finishing the rest of my food.
He nods. “My father used to travel a lot with work. We lived not far from the schools, and I’d walk home every day. When my mother got home, she was always tired, so I’d help her fix dinner.” He smiles down at my plate. “Obviously, I did something right. Maybe I could come to work for you when you start your own business.”
I snort. “I wish. I refuse to even try to get a business loan until Sandy retires.”
“I understand. You value your relationship with her. That’s rare in the world today. The people I work with would turn on me in a heartbeat if given the opportunity.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I’m hoping Dani and Adrienne will come work for me when I do get my own business. They’re like family.”
Getting up, Kai takes our plates to the sink. “I’m glad you have friends like that. Most of mine have gone different ways over the years.”
“You have me now.”
He smiles. “That’s all I need.” He stares down at me, and then nods toward the living room. “Why don’t we relax for a while and maybe watch a movie?”
“As long as it’s a comedy. I don’t want to cry anymore.”
Putting his arm around me, he leads me to the couch. “Trust me, there’ll be no more crying tonight.” We sit down and I take off my shoes so I can face him. He does the same, and our knees slightly touch as we look at each other. His eyes darken and it’s almost like I can sense his need for me. My own desire feels like it’s going to explode right out of me.
“Want to know what I like most about you?” he asks, sliding his hands into my lap.
I peer down at our entwined fingers. “What?”
“Look at me,” he whispers. I do as he says and he moves closer, his lips incredibly close to mine. It’s the first time I’ve gotten a good look at all the different colors in his eyes. They’re mesmerizing. “I like how I feel when I’m around you. I can’t explain it.” Closing the distance, he kisses me gently. “Even when I kiss you, it just feels right.”
It makes no sense, but I feel the same way. “I know what you mean.”
He kisses me again, and this time, it’s deeper, harder. His hands slide up my body to my face, and the next thing I know, I’m lying on my back with him above me. Looking up at his face, I can just imagine doing the same thing while he makes love to me. My whole body tightens just thinking about it … but I’m not ready. Placing his forehead to mine, Kai kisses me one last time.
“Sorry,” he murmurs. “I got carried away. I know you want to take things slow.”
I palm his cheek. “I do, but I thoroughly enjoyed that.”<
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His arousal presses into my thigh. “Me too. What do you say we watch a movie and just lay here together all night?”
“All night? Think you can keep your hands to yourself for that long?”
He kisses me again and winks. “I promise not to touch you … much.”
Twenty-One
Kai
My promise to not touch Alex (much) has been the worst mistake of my life. It’s been about two weeks since I made her dinner after what started off as an amazing day that quickly turned to shit, only to redeem itself by the night’s end. I think I have lost count of how many hand jobs I’ve given myself either after she’s left my place or I’ve left hers. Believe me, the drive back from her house to my apartment isn’t enough to curb the ache I feel for her.
I’m trying to be good and respect her wishes, but damn it’s hard. Our flirt game is strong and Alex is sexy without being sexy. It’s little things like when she comes over after work and her hair is down, it’ll cover her face after I’ve given her a compliment, which then gives me the best excuse to touch her, to move her hair behind her ear.
Or the time when I went to her place for dinner and walked in on her wearing these ridiculously short shorts and dancing in the kitchen. I stood there and watched her hips move to the music, imagining what it’s going to be like when we’re finally intimate.
And that is what I’m hoping for, the intimacy. This woman drives me insane with her pouty lips, rosy pink cheeks, and long eyelashes that hide the prettiest green eyes I have ever seen. Alex has everything going for her in the looks department, but that bastard mystery man she was seeing really fucked up her head and heart.
Every day I chip away at that wall she’s put up, determined to show her that I’m a man worth the risk. I can easily see myself falling in love with her. Hell, I might already be there, but I’m definitely holding back and protecting my heart. There’s a nagging voice in the back of my head that is warning me, preparing me for when this mystery man shows back up and rocks the foundation Alex and I are building.