"I don't think you've had much experience with hardship."
"And you have?"
"Not at all. I'm totally grateful for what I've had. It's not quite the same as the way you grew up"
"You don't know squat about the way I grew up."
"I have a pretty good idea."
It was so tempting. I wanted to tell her exactly how I did grow up. I wanted to tell her something that no one knew about me—at least not anyone in my present day world. It was too intimate, too vulnerable. Dawn knew. But Dawn was gone. Nurse Kelly knew, but my mother sent her away.
I'd hinted at my mother's madness to Stephen one night when we were both stinking drunk after a big tournament win. I'm not sure exactly what I told him, but it wasn't enough to make much of an impression on him. He'd never mentioned it again and it was just as well. Stephen was a friend but in a very superficial way. He wasn't someone I could trust with . . . with all that pain. His world was simple, honest and straightforward. There was no way he could understand the perverse complexities of my childhood.
The time wasn't right. It was way too soon. I was overreacting to the uncanny likeness she had to a ghost from my past. I wanted to spill out all the things I never got to say to Nurse Kelly so she could save me. My mind was jerking me around.
"So, that's all you have to say?" I continued for lack of anything more coherent. "Lucky? I'd be willing to bet you've got a few more adjectives you could throw my way."
"You insist?"
"Consider it an order from the 'Boss'."
"Which you just told me you're not."
"Let's pretend."
"Okay . . . I think you are a spoiled brat who's never had to work for anything. I think you're a shallow player who's smitten with his own good looks. I think you float around the world on this fancy boat catching fancy fish and chasing anything in a skirt to make up for the fact that you've never accomplished anything. I think you take it for granted that every woman you meet is dying to jump your perfect bones just because you're rich and hot as hell."
I let a slow grin spread over my face. It probably looked insolent to her, but it wasn't meant to be. I heard every word, but 'hot as hell' bubbled up to the top of the list. Hot was good. I could build on hot.
Chapter 9—Rene
I did not just say that. I’m going to be tossed off El Loco the second she hits the island. Shit. Dad always said I didn't know when to shut up and this was only the latest proof of that. My shiny new job. Gone.
He had this half grin on his face. I couldn't tell what it meant. When he stood up, he placed Lady Delaney carefully on the captain's chair and took one long step toward me. Having him stand so close to me sent every inch of me into sensory overload. The man had been naked or almost so at least half the time I'd spent with him so far. His height and my lack of it meant that I was staring right at his chest. Right at that fish hook tat that I wanted to trace with my tongue.
He tilted my chin up with the knuckle of his bent index finger. A square inch of his skin against a square inch of mine. The arc was so strong I thought it might weld his hand to my face. Touch me more. I want you to.
"Most of what you say is true. But I'd like the chance to prove you wrong on a couple of the details."
The knuckle traced the line of my jaw; one side and then the other sending a shiver through me that made me need a deeper breath. He sensed my instinctive reaction. He could hear the silent crackle of sparks flying. He could see the hidden tightening of places I wanted him to explore.
My eyes closed involuntarily when he extended his elegant forefinger and slid the tip of it down my chest to the top button of my blouse. Barely touched, my flesh radiated along the path of his small caress.
Player he may have been, spoiled rich guy he certainly was but when I opened my eyes to meet his, there was an unexpected reality there. I wanted it to feel more practiced. I wanted him to look less sincere. I wanted to like him less. Maybe it was the monkey. She made it hard for Dylan to hide his humanity.
I waited for him to kiss me. I didn't care if it was a bad idea.
He might have leaned toward me, but Lady D. caught us both by surprise and dashed through Dylan's legs and vaulted onto Stephen's knee, climbing him in seconds and grabbing the hat off the surprised Captain's head.
I hadn't heard Stephen enter because I was in that bubble that forms when your world narrows to the smallest space two bodies can occupy. The bubble locks everything out but the notion of two in a place that seconds before had been reserved for one. I’d never felt it before, but the primal me recognized it.
The monkey scampered as high as she could get above one of the windows and put the hat on her tiny head. The distraction gave me time to compose myself and I did a pretty good job at appearing nonchalant by the time the cap was retrieved. Dylan turned back to the ship's wheel. I wondered if his composure had been rattled too. I sure hoped it had. I’d hate to think I was alone in that splendid, timeless moment.
"Rene, sorry about taking so long to get back here." Stephen looked over at Dylan behind the wheel. Lady D. was back in her co-pilot perch on his shoulder. "You decided to drive?"
"I needed a distraction." Dylan slid out of the captain's chair and motioned for Stephen to take it.
"I'd have thought there was ample distraction for you on deck."
Dylan just cleared his throat in response. I felt newly uncomfortable and well reminded of what the actual reality of the whole scene was. The one I wanted to rationalize into existence just because he stood close to me sputtered and died. Stephen had interrupted in time to save me certain and painful embarrassment. A vivid imagination coupled with raging horniness is a dangerous brew.
"Boss, if you want to stay behind the wheel, I can continue Rene's tour," Stephen offered. "We were on our way to the sea deck when they asked me to take a look at the right bilge pump."
"Actually, no, you can take over. I'm going to take Lady D. back to her room and grab something to eat. As good as your salad was at lunch, Rene, it didn't exactly stick with me. Can you rustle up a sandwich for me?"
"Of course," I answered him. I had to. It was my job as long as I still had one.
"After that I'd be happy to show you the sea deck. It's one of my favorite parts of the boat." He glanced over at Stephen who was suddenly very busy with the instrument panel.
"I'll get started on the sandwich," I said as I headed out the door.
Grateful as I was to be back in the kitchen, my nerves were jagged. His effect on me was like looking over a cliff. Vertigo with none of the usual prompts. The ground beneath my feet felt pillowy; as if any minute I'd lose my balance and tip right over into the abyss.
Mechanically, I built an Italian sub on some ciabatta bread. His teeth looked as if they'd appreciate the workout. My hands knew what to do even if my mind was on vacation.
Dammit, it wasn't my imagination. Granted, I've been known to concoct an entire fantasy affair, but not this time. He was the one who pressed the issue. His interest in my opinion of him seemed real enough. He didn't owe me any attention and he certainly didn't need my female companionship when he had two babe-alicious guests to entertain him. That thought sent me right into my room to check on the pool deck.
Sure enough, he was standing over the two naked bodies casting a long shadow over pert breasts and smooth skin. They both flashed him satisfied Rembrandt smiles. He bent over, looked straight at my port hole and waved. I snapped the curtain shut and plopped onto my bed. Owned again.
Minutes later I got to face my humiliation and serve up his snack. I hadn't taken the time to change out of my shorts and the way he watched me as I walked through the room made me feel as naked as the two girls on deck. Only there was no comparison to be made between their ten foot legs and my pitiful sticks. Model types have always made me feel that the word 'petite' is just a polite way of saying stunted.
"Would you like something to drink?" Why did you have to put a shirt on?
"Just some
water. You remember the one I drink?"
No, I don't remember exactly, precisely, without a shadow of doubt which green bottle you were holding next to your nakedness last night. Sorry, but your body kind of got in the way. I couldn't exactly express that thought so I simply nodded. I could surely locate the exact position he'd been in when I found him lurking around in the dark kitchen That would have to do.
"I thought you might not have noticed." He poked at his plate and threw a downright Satanic smile at me. The man seemed to delight in seeing me squirm. I turned away to go and get the water but he stopped me with a "wait a minute".
"Yes?"
"Can you tell me what's on this sandwich?"
I rattled off the ingredients. Halfway through I realized my mistake. Nitrites, preservatives, artificial coloring and plenty of bad fat were not on the Boss’s approved list.
"Most of what you're trying to feed me is full of poison. Didn't Stephen tell you about my preferences?"
I grabbed the offending plate out from under his gaze. "I am so sorry. Don’t blame Stephen. He briefed me. I stocked the lunch meats for the crew and just completely forgot you don't eat this stuff. "
"Because this stuff is crap unfit for human consumption."
"I'll get you something else."
"Rene, is it going to be too difficult for you to remember the dietary needs of the one and only person on this boat whose opinion counts?" He was cold and condescending. The smile was gone and the playful mood was dead. The whole spiel about not being the boss had obviously been something engineered to catch me off guard. Whether Daddy owned the boat or Dylan owned the boat was pretty irrelevant. He was the little prince.
All the same, I felt terrible. It was my job to feed him what he wanted to eat. I wanted to please him not just with my professionalism. I wanted to bring him pleasure with my food. Truthfully, I just wanted to please him, but food was my path of least resistance.
He tented his fingers in front of his mouth, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Finally he said, "Do you have any natural peanut butter?" I nodded. "Any bananas?" I nodded again. "Do you think you can manage a peanut butter and banana sandwich?" The tone was mock sadness with a touch of martyr.
His patronizing attitude was starting to piss me off. I made a mistake. You'd think it was the end of the world. Bologna as a murder weapon.
No wonder he worked his way through three chefs in the space of a year. The man was a spoiled brat. A beautiful spoiled brat, but still. I was tempted to call him on it, but I’d already said more than enough.
"I suppose you are going to add this little sandwich incident to your catalog of my faults," he said as he took his first bite of the new sandwich I put in front of him.
"I don't keep an inventory. It's not my job."
"But you certainly have an opinion, don't you? And one that sure isn't real positive."
"Look, Mr. Cruz, you pushed and I answered you." He was going to fire me. I was becoming surer of it by the minute.
"Please, call me Dylan and have a seat." He picked up the untouched half of his sandwich. "Care to share this with me?"
God, the man was a complete schizoid. One minute he was a complete ass and the next he was giving me the 'aren't I cute' vibe. I cut a quarter of the sandwich off and took a bite, just to be sociable.
"Without getting into gory details you don't want to know, Rene, my health is very important to me. I wasn't very . . . robust as a kid and I guess I want to enjoy myself now that I'm past all that."
"I understand."
"No, you probably don't. But for now, just accept it."
What I accepted at that moment was that under the table his knee was giving off heat an inch or so from mine. It knocked rational right out the window. His nearness had a surreal effect on me unlike anything I'd ever felt before. He possessed the space between us and made it shrink. He touched me without contact and made me forget anything but the closeness of his body to mine and how much closer I wanted him to be.
He pushed back from the table and stood. I have always loved a tall man. Hannah once asked me why a shorty like me had a thing for fabulously towering males. I could only answer that a big man made me feel very feminine. And that's exactly what I felt like looking up a mile into Dylan's gorgeous strong face. I felt a snag of whispering desire in my head. In spite of all the reasons not to want him, he had me desiring him more every minute I was with him.
Stop. No, don't. Damn it. Damn him.
His voice broke through the argument I was having with myself. "I told you I'd give you a tour of the sea deck. Let me show you my toys."
I thought about the two blondes and almost bagged the tour. Living dolls certainly qualify as 'toys'. Curiosity and pheromones overrode the wave of yuck that washed over me thinking about what the man had been up to with his guests. I wanted to be near him and stay near him.
He ushered me into the glass elevator near the far end of the salon. His hand barely grazed the small of my back but it was enough to make my nipples clench and send a tingle down to southern command and control. The man did things to me. He occupied me. The vapor of his nearness seeped into my pores. I hated the treason of lust. It had betrayed me in the past and it was setting me up for a fall again.
"Here's my favorite playroom," he said as the doors opened to reveal a line of jet skis along one wall and a sport fishing boat on a lift at the other. "Well," he added, "Make that one of my favorite playrooms." The leer he raked over my body left no doubt about where else he liked to play.
"Would another one be the pool deck?"
"You seem to take a real interest in my activities there."
"Kind of hard not to see what goes on right above my bed."
"And just what did you see?"
"Enough.”
"Did you happen to watch long enough to see me leave?"
The conversation was making me very uncomfortable. "Can we change the subject? Tell me about this pool. Is it a seaport?"
"Yes. But back to this morning."
"Must we?"
"There's something you should know."
"Honestly, I know too much already."
He stepped closer to me and sucked the air out of the vast room. I felt my punctured will deflate like a three day old balloon.
Chapter 10—Dylan
"Nothing happened at the pool." I didn't have a clue as to why I wanted her to know.
"It's none of my business."
She'd gotten to me. In the short space of a couple of days, I'd made the surprising discovery that her opinion mattered to me. I was not happy with having her look at me as if I had something nasty she could catch.
But I also knew she was attracted to me. I wanted more than that. I wanted her to like me. That was a brand new feeling for me, at least as a healthy adult. And I didn't have time to dissect or analyze it. The moment was now. I wanted to erase the mental picture she had formed before it became a ‘fact’.
"I'm serious. Nothing happened."
"I guess you and I have entirely different definitions of 'nothing'. But again, why should I care?" She had to tilt her head way back to look up at me. Her child-like height was a lie. There was womanly defiance in her gaze and a stubborn set to her mouth that told me she was anything but convinced. The importance of making her understand something I didn't yet understand myself battled with the urge to kiss that willful look off that angel face.
“What I mean by nothing is just that. I did not have sex with those two girls.”
“Okay. You didn’t have sex with them. Are we pulling a Bill Clinton here?”
“Touché.”
“At any rate, it doesn’t concern me.”
I backed her into the wall and trapped her with my arms at her shoulders. "It should concern you because you want me. And I want you. We could have a lot of fun crossing the ocean together." Bad choice of words. Fun wasn't the tone I wanted at all.
"You really are unbelievably stuck on yourself, aren't you?"
It was a retort I deserved.
"Are you telling me you don't want me?" I leaned into her. She immediately ducked under my arm and moved beyond my reach.
"I want a lot of things. I want puppies and unicorns and a brand new BMW parked in the garage of my cottage on the beach. I want to be five-foot ten and have a rack like Beyonce."
"Other than the unicorns and the height requirement, those things can be bought." Not that I was in any position to buy them for her. Only Stephen knew the arrangement I had made with my sad excuse for a dad. I had the boat to live on, expenses paid and enough cash so that I wasn't an embarrassment to him, but about the only thing I could afford on her list was the puppy. And only if she wanted one from the pound. I had carte blanche for anything remotely related to the boat. Lures were fine. Puppies and BMW's not so much.
I was going to London to see if my exalted father finally found me worthy of inclusion in the family business. By now I hoped he was convinced I didn't carry my mother's special strain of madness. It was time for me to work at something more demanding than being a glorified housekeeper for a yacht.
"But I can't be bought." Rene started for the elevator and I caught her wrist in my hand. I could feel her pulse racing when I pulled her around to face me. The beat of her heart on her wrist felt like a captured bird.
"I don't want to buy you. I want to know you." I brought her close enough to smell her. Her scent was a mixture of fresh baked bread and faint floral shampoo. So feminine it made me ache to touch her. "I want to know what it's like to talk to someone who thinks about more than where the next party is."
"Somehow I thought you had more than talking in mind."
"I admit I do. Is that so terrible? Even if you won't say it, I will." I pressed my hips against her flat belly. I wanted her to feel me against her. "Can I make you laugh? Can I make you sigh? Can I make you beg me to do all the things a man can do to a woman?"
Her mouth opened into a rosebud 'o' but she said nothing. Those feline eyes gleamed with a golden brilliance that made me know I was lost. Or found. I was having a very hard time saying what I wanted to say. There was an element of crazy in what she did to me. She was nothing I'd ever wanted and all that I ever needed. The surprise of her left me speechless.
Tempest Tossed: A Love Unexpected Novel Page 7