Derek groaned and a foot emerged from the side of the bed. “I was hoping the phone had it wrong.”
“Meet you at the front door in five?”
“We’re not going as far today, right?” Derek’s black curls were the next thing to poke out from under the sheets.
“You’re the one always talking about when you meet your dream girl. When you do, you better believe she’ll have you running up a mountain to prove your love. Might as well get some practice.”
“I really hate you, man.”
Chance tapped the door frame before leaving. “Four minutes now.”
He laughed at the swearing he heard coming from the bedroom while he climbed the steps. As futile as it seemed, he stretched in the hallway until Derek joined him and they walked outside together.
“Race you?” Chance asked and without pausing, shifted into a bear.
He pressed his paws into the ground and zigzagged up the path to the steps leading to the driveway. He stumbled the rest of the way up and ran up to the metal entry gate. A goat beat him to the black box and it pressed its head against the red button. The gate slowly opened. Once there was enough space for the both of them, they took off down the snow-covered ground.
They raced nearly the full length of the road, avoiding getting too close to the highway, and turned back at a curve in the drive. With memories of their run up the road with Mac on their trail, Chance pushed himself as hard as he could. The goat veered off the road, up the slope and disappeared. Chance continued on, confident he’d arrive first. But minutes later, when he reached the gate, the goat was waiting for him with a dusting of snow on his back and head.
Because Chance lost, he was forced to shift back to human form so he could punch in the security code to open the gate. Back at the front door, Chance panted. “Nice—running off the road, cutting. You know I gave that one to you.”
Derek slipped on his robe. His umber cheeks pulled into a smile and his dimples flashed. “Don’t play that card on me. We can settle this disagreement man to man, or goat to goat.”
Clothed in his lounge pants and with his robe flung over his arm, Chance opened the front door. Over his shoulder he said, “Of course you’d pick your nagual. The only fair way is for an impartial spectator to call the animal so there’s no advantage.”
“That’s assuming I care enough to race you again.” Derek laughed.
They went to their rooms to get dressed. Together, they walked down to the kitchen and poked through the cupboards and fridge for breakfast. Jordan came in a minute later, his hair combed neatly and his shirt tucked into his pants.
“You guys running again this morning?” he asked.
Derek answered, “I was, but I don’t know what Chance was doing.”
Chance shook his head and shot a sneer at Derek, who smirked wickedly back. On the surface he was annoyed, but it had been years since he’d felt the comradery he experienced with Derek. This was someone he could be himself with and it was invigorating.
“Don’t know why you don’t want to join in the fun,” Chance said to Jordan.
Jordan’s brown eyes blinked back at him and answered, “We have a different idea of fun I think. If you want to get an estimation of the varied speeds of the different animals in question to get an accurate guess of the winner, then I’m your guy.”
Orange juice in hand, Derek asked him, “So, who would win if a bear and goat raced up and down a hill? By the way, I already know the answer.”
Jordan tilted his head to the side with a questioning look and frowned. “If you already know the answer, then why would you ask?”
“I think everyone but Chance knows the answer.”
Chance set two bowls on the counter and reached for the container of oatmeal. While he put equal parts oats and water in a pot, he said, “Okay already. But I know that when it counts, I could race anyone or anything up a mountain if Ana were at the top.”
“Got me there,” Derek said in a serious tone.
When everyone collected in the dining room for breakfast, Batukhan announced over his bowl of grains and fruit, “Lifen should be back today.”
The room quieted and all faces turned to him. Jordan’s eyes went wide and Chance thought he could hear his heartbeat elevate.
Batukhan continued. “She will be bringing someone with her—a healer. Lifen, Mac and I expect all of you to treat her with respect and kindness.”
Jordan found his voice and asked, “When will she be here?”
“Sometime this afternoon.”
Ana swallowed her mouthful of oatmeal and reached for Chance’s hand. “Does this mean things will change with training?”
Mac exchanged a look with Batukhan and they both said, “We’ll see.”
Before anyone could ask anything more, Batukhan said, “Go ahead and eat your meal and we will continue with our daily schedule. Lifen will answer all of your questions when she gets here.”
Jordan seemed to be wrestling with the urge to ask another question, but he was so excited about Lifen’s return that his face spread into a wide grin and he proceeded to pop a piece of fruit into his mouth.
Ana’s eyes brightened when she said, “Hey, with Lifen coming back maybe this would be the perfect time to go home for the holidays. Christmas is less than a week away. Mom’s been nagging me, asking when I’m coming home. I miss my family.”
This wasn’t the first time she’d brought it up. Over the last few weeks she’d been dropping hints every other day. He tried avoiding the question at all costs. He didn’t want to think about the fact that he’d come so close to killing his own mother. He knew he hadn’t been responsible for his actions at the time, but if it hadn’t been for Batukhan, he wouldn’t have a mother to go home to.
This painful thought alone kept him from wanting to face his mother. To be reminded of the violent, hungry thoughts that consumed him the last time he was home.
“Hello?” Ana asked, wide-eyed.
Chance shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe I’ll stick around with Derek and Jordan.”
“What do you mean?” Ana set her spoon down and leaned back in her seat. “You’re not really going to let me drive home and to tell my mom we’re getting married—alone? That we’re not going to spend our first Christmas together? I thought you’d want to be with me.”
Batukhan shot Chance a look that expressed a clear statement: you’re on a sinking ship with no safety rafts and you’re the one who built the boat. He’d been too absorbed with avoiding the thought of going home; he’d just made a bigger problem for himself. The others gave him a sideways glance while they tried to ignore the glare on Ana’s face. Derek winked at him before getting up with his plate and saying, “Well, I’m ready to get as much training in as I can before Lifen gets back. We going straight out to the animals or the meditation room, Batukhan?”
“Let’s go straight out today,” Batukhan said. “If you’re ready, then I’ll walk out with you.” He got up and everyone but Mac joined him. Before he left he held Mac’s gaze and added, “Prepare him.”
The group of guys left the room so quick he wouldn’t have been surprised if a swarm of wasps followed them out. The comment might have given him pause if Chance weren’t so concerned with avoiding conflict with Ana. He dared to look at her, but her attention hadn’t been moved. She was still glaring at him, her eyes glassy with emotion.
Mac’s voice broke the tension and Chance was thankful, since he didn’t know what to say. “Would you like me to leave, or is there something I can help you two with?”
Ana barely needed the suggestion before she said, “Chance has been avoiding making plans to go home with me for weeks. I promised my mom that I’d go back for Christmas and we still haven’t told our parents we’re getting married. I know he’s been trying to get back on his feet, but I just don’t understand why he doesn’t want to spend the holidays with me.” Her cheek quivered and she stared at her hands.
Chance felt subhuman. Was he bound to hurt
himself and others no matter what he did? Even cured of the sickness he was still making Ana cry.
“Well, at least you aren’t mad because I didn’t bathe this morning.” Mac smiled as if the glaring woman at the opposite side of the table was nothing more than a basket of daisies. “I might normally say give him some time before pressuring him to share, but today is the day to change things up what with Lifen coming back. Chance, you’re clearly holding onto some anxiety about going home. For what reason, I don’t know, but you risk upsetting your relationship with Ana. I think it is time to put everything out there.”
What happened to giving him time to heal? He’d been avoiding the subject of his mother for a reason. It wasn’t so much because he didn’t want to admit it to Mac or Ana, but he didn’t want to think about it or remember. He glanced at Ana, who leaned her elbows on the table, face hidden from sight behind a veil of hair.
It was time to dig deep and do what he had to do. None of this was worth losing Ana over. He’d do it for her. Chance stood up and walked to the farthest point in the room, facing out at the windows. Clouds streaked across the sky and the sun was trying to reach past them to touch its beams to the earth.
Chance cleared his throat. “I don’t really know what to say. I did lots of things I’m not proud of while I was infected, but the things I did were nothing compared to what I thought of. I know you’re going to say, ‘but it wasn’t you,’ and I know that. I still saw the terrible images and heard the evil thoughts and I can’t seem to get away from those memories. There are too many of them.”
“I understand that—” Ana lifted her head and he saw her watery eyes.
“No—let me finish. I haven’t wanted to go home because I don’t want to see my mom. I don’t want to remember what I almost did, what I could have done to her when I stopped there.”
A memory formed of the moments after Aiyana had arrived home, not realizing Chance was up in his room, and the second he felt the pull of her energy downstairs. He had begun to go down to the kitchen in search of her power when Batukhan had made a noise from inside his grandfather’s room and urged him to leave. Bile rose in his throat and he swallowed hard, trying to force those images away.
Ana’s head snapped up and he felt her look at him from across the room. Had she looked into his thoughts again? It was a relief not having to describe the events to her, but there was something very unsettling about her being able to tap into his memories without warning. They locked eyes and he saw the dawning comprehension cross her face. She understood a little better why he didn’t want to go home.
Mac’s voice cut the silence. “Did I just miss something? Ana?”
“Chance, why didn’t you just tell me? Oh, never mind.”
He turned away again and leaned his forehead against the window. His breath coated the window with a translucent film of steam. When he was little, his mother would fog up her driver’s window when dropping him at school and draw a heart with her finger. The woman who had brought him into this world deserved better from her son. He knew he needed to return home for many reasons, but they all boiled down to making things right. He may not have contracted the sickness with full awareness, but it was time to make a conscious choice.
“How about tomorrow? We’ll welcome Lifen back and we can pack up tonight? Wish I had my truck here—don’t know when I’ll be able to pick it up. Once the snow melts in the spring I guess, we can make a trip out of it—” Before he could continue, Ana jumped from her seat and ran up to him. He turned to give her a kiss and was pleased to see her smile.
Mac cleared his throat and crossed his arms. “Feel like filling me in?”
Maybe Chance hadn’t gotten away with not telling all. “You and Ana aren’t the only people that I hurt. I was so close to—I could have—I’m glad Batukhan was with me or I might not have a mother anymore.”
Ana put her hand to her mouth. “Oh my God, I had no idea.”
“What changed your mind to go home?” Mac asked.
Chance slipped his hand into his jean pocket. “I can’t hide from it any longer. Not with Ana around. She’s going to see everything I’m trying not to anyway. Plus, I couldn’t hurt her like that. I might as well face it and get it over with.”
“Batukhan will be pleased to hear that.” Mac appeared relieved. “Well, if you’re ready, maybe we can go to the meditation room and do some energy work. You could probably get a little more relaxed and calm beforehand—you should prepare.”
“Don’t really need to relax until I get home, but sure, why not,” Chance answered.
Ana grabbed their breakfast leftovers and took them to the kitchen. She rejoined him in the hallway and they walked hand-in-hand behind Mac. With a gentle squeeze of the hand, she said, “Thank you. Once we’re done with Mac, I’ll let my mom know we’re heading home.” She paused and stole a glance at him. “You going to tell your parents too?”
“Yeah, I’ll let them know. This is not going to be fun.”
Ana shrugged. “It’s probably best to just get it over with. This is the new chapter of our lives. Let’s start out right.”
All throughout meditation, Chance felt Mac’s watchful eyes on him. It reminded him of his time spent with Batukhan, who always seemed prepared for Chance to do something out of character or unpredictable. It made Chance uncomfortable.
Through the rice paper doors, they heard the front door open. Their heads turned to listen. Voices rose in conversation and Chance was certain he heard Lifen. He started to get off the floor when Mac held his hand out and said, “Wait just a moment. Let me go see if they’re ready for us.”
Chance frowned while he looked at Ana. Her eyes followed Mac as he got to his feet and left the room.
“Oookay,” she muttered.
“Who do you think she brought with her, the Pope?”
Lines marked her forehead while she thought about it. Then her face lit up. “You don’t think she found Ryan, do you?”
After Mac’s reaction when he found out they were trying to track him down, Chance didn’t think so, but he wanted to tread carefully, knowing how sensitive Ana was about Ryan.
Mac’s head popped around the corner of the door and he said, “They’re ready for you.”
There was no time like the present. He’d find out in a minute just who Lifen had brought back with her. Unless it was his mom, who he was confident wasn’t the unexpected guest, there was no one else he could think of that would create this kind of stir.
He helped Ana up and they followed Mac into the hallway. Instinctively, he smelled the air seeking a hint. He detected cinnamon and it reminded him of Mexico. They stepped into the living room and found a ring of people. Batukhan, Derek and Jordan stood beside Lifen. A young woman stood beside her. Long black hair hung down past her shoulders. She stood with her back to Chance while the others introduced themselves.
“That’s definitely not Ryan,” Ana said. “Do you know her?”
Confusion clouded his mind. He had no idea who the girl was or why Mac had been so cryptic about her arrival. Were they worried he’d have the urge to consume her energy? He hadn’t felt any out-of-character urges.
The others saw them enter and quieted. Batukhan and Lifen locked eyes on him, making him uncomfortable again. The young woman began to turn and he caught her profile just as he sensed her energy.
“Wait a minute, I think I recognize you. But how do I know you?” Ana said to the visitor and placed her finger to her lips, deep in thought. “That’s right, I saw you in one of my dreams over a month ago. But that means—”
Ana’s jaw went slack. Chance had the same reaction. He knew the girl too. She was the catalyst to meeting Batukhan. The girl hanging sheets that he had nearly killed in the Yucatán was standing before him now and smiling.
Chapter 9
She turned around and faced him. Dark liner curved along her eyes, making them appear cat-like. Red lipstick made her plump lips look even fuller. Her hands planted on her curvy hips
and with a faint accent, she said, “So, you are the big cat? You will not try to jump me again, will you?”
Chance stood motionless, trying to process what was happening. This woman didn’t belong in this place. Was Lifen trying to mess with him? Was this some kind of test?
The young woman’s hazel eyes didn’t move from his face while she waited for his answer. Nobody breathed, except for Ana, who pulled her hair to the back of her head as her face contorted into a confused scowl.
“Is he not right in the head?” the woman said and turned to Lifen. “You said he is okay now.”
Chance cleared his throat and croaked. “No.”
The young woman’s eyes widened and she crossed her arms. Her eyebrow arched and she muttered, “Si.”
In haste, Chance clarified. “No, I mean, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m sorry I ever tried before—it wasn’t me. It wasn’t my fault. I never would have wanted to hurt you if I wasn’t sick at the time. It will never happen again. Ever.”
She paused for a moment before walking forward with her hand stretched out. Wearing a stern expression, she said, “I’m Gabriella and no man will ever hurt me again. You keep your promise and we are okay.”
“Chance,” he responded and swore he would never cross her, believing that her wrath would truly be something to behold.
While Gabriella stood beside him, Lifen joined her side and said, “I hope you are satisfied with my end of the bargain.”
Gabriella answered, “For now. I can see you did not tell him I was coming and he does not have a loco look in his eyes. He keeps his promise and none of the others cause trouble, then I will stay.”
Lifen stared Chance down and he nodded in agreement, but felt too confused about the serendipitous turn of events. How was this woman found and brought here?
“I know you have questions, Chance,” Lifen said. “I think it’s best I show Gabriella around and that Batukhan answers your questions.”
Gabriella turned with a flourish, her hair nearly whipping Chance across the face. Jordan and Derek, who’d been watching from the far end of the living room, followed after Lifen and Gabriella as they walked down the hall toward the kitchen.
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