by Karin Beery
“I have to get back in there. Mae wanted me to come tell you, but,” his voice cracked, “I really want to be with my wife and son right now.”
Love for Charlie bubbled up in Callie’s heart as she looked at the ecstatic man who cherished her best friend. “Tell her I love her.”
Kyle’s hand appeared beside Callie before she realized he was standing beside her. “Congratulations,” he said, shaking Charlie’s hand.
The proud daddy pumped Kyle’s arm like he was hoping to get water. “Thanks.” He looked past Kyle and nodded at Ryan. “Thank you so much. I need to go.” The skinny bearded man ran out of the room.
A boy. Mae had been right.
Charlie burst back in, looking right at Callie. “Oh, and don’t go anywhere! Mae wants to introduce you to him, but it’ll be a little while yet. I’ll come get you.”
Callie opened her mouth to speak, but Charlie was already down the hall.
A boy.
Emotion clogged Callie’s throat. Tears blurred her eyes. Mae’s mom was missing. Charlie had shown up late, but now he was here. Mae was safe, and they had their son. Nothing went as planned, yet it all worked out. What a perfect day.
“Are you okay?” A warm hand landed on her shoulder, and Callie looked up into Kyle’s concerned eyes. He scanned her face before focusing again on her eyes. “Do you need anything?”
She shook her head. “I’m just really happy for Mae. I can’t believe I got to be here for her.” So had Ryan. Callie peeked at him behind Kyle, still sitting in the chair, stoic. When he saw her, he smiled. Joy radiated from his face.
Callie didn’t try to stop the happy tears that rolled down her perma-grinning cheeks. “We helped deliver a baby … sort of. If it hadn’t been for you, Mae might have had that kid in my car.”
Ryan laughed as he pushed himself up. “And if it hadn’t been for you, I might have had to wait with Mae until Charlie got here.” He pulled his keys out of his pocket, then clapped Kyle on the shoulder. “This is more excitement than I was expecting tonight.” He reached back into his pocket and pulled out a rumpled napkin, offering it to Callie.
She wiped her face as Ryan stepped away. Then reality hit her. “You’re leaving?”
He looked over his shoulder, his gaze flickering to Kyle before resting on her. “I just wanted to make sure Mae was okay. She has you and Charlie now. I’ll see you later. Kyle, nice to see you again.”
Ryan turned his back on her and walked away again. When he stepped out into the hallway, something inside Callie clenched. “Wait. I’ll walk you out.”
When she looked up at Kyle, he nodded. “That’s okay, I’ll wait here.”
She squeezed his arm, then hustled after Ryan. As soon as her shoes smacked on the shiny linoleum, he started moving. “I meant to ask you this earlier, but we keep getting interrupted,” she said. “What were you doing at Mae’s?”
“Looking for you.”
Callie’s feet faltered, but Ryan kept walking. “Why?”
He shrugged. “Jack was worried. I wanted to help.”
“Oh.” Her heart deflated. “So that’s how Jack knew we were at the hospital. You told him.”
“I figured he’d want to know.”
“He doesn’t care when Mae has her baby.”
“No, but Jack cares about you.” They stopped in front of the elevator. Ryan pushed the down button.
“And you care about Jack.”
“I do.”
“Well, thanks for looking out for him.”
“I was looking out for you too.”
Oh, heart palpitations. “You were?”
“Of course.” Ryan glanced at her. “How are you doing?”
With Kyle in the waiting room? With Ryan standing beside her? “I don’t know how I’m doing, but I’m glad you’re here.”
A nurse walked up beside them and smiled, then turned to wait for the elevator. A young man with a squeaky food cart walked behind them. The scent of warm bread surrounded them.
“Me too,” he said. “I’m glad Kyle came. I want you to be happy.”
Finally, the double doors slid open. Ryan and the nurse stepped inside. They each gave Callie the same polite smile. Did Ryan really look at her the same way a stranger did? The weight of the realization trapped Callie in her spot long after the elevator doors closed.
Somehow, she convinced her feet to start moving again. One step at a time she moved down the hall, the image of Ryan’s polite smile swimming in her head.
When her feet touched carpet, Callie looked up. Kyle stood in the middle of the room, his hands deep in his pockets, shoulders relaxed, watching a baseball game on the television. When he looked at her, a little bit of the pain eased out of Callie’s heart.
Mae’s life might work without a plan, but it only brought confusion and heartache to Callie. She never should have doubted herself. She never should have doubted the plan. If she had just stayed focused, she wouldn’t have considered other options, wouldn’t have opened her heart, wouldn’t care whether or not Ryan walked away.
The room wavered in front of her.
Kyle cocked his head. “You’re crying.”
She swiped at the tears. “I’m an aunt again.” The thought of Mae with her newborn son covered Callie’s wounded heart like a salve. “Come on. Let’s go meet Junior.”
Callie sat on her piano bench staring at the barely-visible piano. She’d left the hospital less than an hour ago, after some serious baby snuggling, and taken the scenic route home. She couldn’t go inside, though. Ryan was inside, and she wasn’t ready to see him. She didn’t understand what had happened at the hospital, so she didn’t know how to process it. What she did know was that she needed some serious time with her piano.
The sun had finally set, and she didn’t feel like turning on the garage light. Sitting in the dark suited her. Only the fading glow from the lighthouse porch light offered any illumination. But she didn’t need light. Once she placed her hands on the keys, her fingers moved automatically.
This time, however, they didn’t play a familiar song. They roamed the keys, pressing out chords and runs that blended and harmonized in a way she’d never heard before. Dissonant and ever-changing, her hands played the song that her heart poured out. No time signature. No tempo. Just music.
When was the last time she’d sat down and just played? Not a hymn or a classic or a wedding march but the music she heard in her head and felt in her blood? When had she given up music to only play someone else’s songs?
Callie let her fingers move higher, forgetting the bass line to tinkle out a fairy-esque dance. She locked her fingers into place, punching out chord progressions in a quick staccato song. Then she relaxed, and her fingers traveled across the full range of the keyboard—quickly, slowly, softly, loudly.
She played and played and played until something settled on the inside of her. Calm. Comfort. Peace. Callie lifted her fingers from the keys while her foot pressed the piano’s pedal, sustaining the final sounds.
“Cal?”
She jumped, slamming her knee into the piano as her heart tried to burst from her chest. Spinning around, she recognized Ryan’s silhouette against the dim light. She pressed a trembling hand to her heart. “What are you doing out here?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing. It’s almost eleven thirty. Is everything okay with Mae?”
“Mae’s fine. I just needed to play for a while.”
Ryan leaned against the open garage door. “What song was that?”
Callie shook her head. “Nothing. I just started playing.”
“You wrote that?”
“Not really. I mean, I made it up as I played, but I doubt I could play that exact song ever again.”
“The music was amazing.” He chuckled. “It sounded like you.”
“What does
that mean?”
He moved away from the wall far enough that Callie could see his smile. “There were so many different parts, but one of the most beautiful things I think I’ve ever heard.” His smile faltered until it disappeared completely. Ryan stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I’m just glad I got to hear you play it. I’ll leave you alone now. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
He disappeared as quickly as he’d appeared, taking all of Callie’s peace with him. One of the most beautiful things he’d ever heard reminded him of her? So much for the calming influence of her piano.
Callie eventually came in, but Ryan tried not to notice that he heard her bedroom door close after midnight. He also tried to avoid her the next morning, and the morning after. Not an easy thing to do in a cramped lighthouse, so he worked longer hours, spent a lot of time on the trails, and volunteered to do the grocery shopping. Between his padded schedule and what he assumed were her date nights with Kyle, everyone was happy.
He reminded himself of that as he ran through the woods one afternoon, his feet pounding against the mulch. As he rounded a corner, he grunted. Another family up ahead. They always crowded the trails, stretching across the whole width of the path as if no one else could possibly need to get by.
“Coming through!”
Mom and Dad turned, then corralled their kids to one side.
“Thanks.”
The littlest girl looked at him with huge, terrified eyes. Ryan couldn’t blame her. Sweat saturated his clothes and hair. Dirt clung to the sweat. He tried to smile, but his legs burned. She pressed closer to her mom, so he stopped trying.
A few long strides, and he passed them—ready to stop scaring small children and let his body rest. Just another hundred yards until he cleared the trees, then he’d be able to see the lighthouse. With any luck there would only be his and Jack’s trucks in the driveway. Callie had been getting ready to go out when he finished his first jog. Ryan doubted he could survive a third trip around the hiking trails.
When he finally cleared the forest, Ryan popped out on the southwest lawn of the lighthouse park. He was far enough away that he couldn’t hear or see anything going on inside, but he was close enough to notice Callie’s car was gone.
Good. She was out having fun with Kyle. That’s what she wanted. To waste her summer chasing a guy that she’d already broken up with once. And all Ryan wanted was for Callie to be happy. Perfect.
He slowed his pace. His legs screamed, ready to stop. Ryan sucked in lungs full of fresh air. His chest heaved, every muscle straining for oxygen and relief. He pictured Callie on her dinner date with Kyle, and his chest strained some more.
Dragging his feet across the lawn, Ryan focused on his breathing, deliberately forcing his lungs to slow down. He stopped occasionally, stretching his overworked muscles. He hadn’t run this much since high school, and that was fifteen years ago. Back in those days, he could barely move after a long run. He might need a wheelchair tomorrow.
His leaden legs got him back to the house, begrudgingly trudging up the stairs and inside. The calendar caught his attention. Tomorrow was Saturday. Everyone would be home. Better think of something else to do. His twitching quadriceps couldn’t take another day on the trails.
Ryan considered his options as he downed some water. His feet and back ached. Maybe he’d just stay in his room, stuck on his bed. Or he could help Jack. “Jack!”
“Yeah?”
Ryan followed the voice into the living room. Jack lay on the couch with a Sports Illustrated. Sweat still rolling down his back, Ryan dropped to the floor. He spotted a pair of Callie’s shoes under the coffee table. Not helping.
“What are you doing this weekend?” he asked, rolling away from the sandals.
“Nothing.”
“That’s lame. Let’s do something.”
“Fine. I’m watching the game tomorrow. You can buy the pizza.”
Ryan snorted, staring at the ceiling. So much for that option. The couch creaked and groaned. A few quiet thumps, then Jack appeared, standing over him.
“What’s up with you? You stink.”
“I’ve been running. You always stink.”
“You hate running.”
“I hate running competitively. It’s a good way to clear my head.”
Jack narrowed his eyes. “So is fishing and that hurts less. How’s the move going? I thought you’d be out of here by now.”
Ryan pushed himself up and out of his friend’s irritating gaze. “I’m still working on it, but I don’t think there’s any reason to hurry now.”
“Why?”
Jack could be so dense. “Never mind.” Ryan got up, his muscles already tight and stiff. “I’m still planning on moving, but we can forget the earlier conversation.” As he lifted his arms, rotating his shoulders, he groaned involuntarily.
Jack snorted. “You’re giving up pretty quick.”
“I’m not giving up.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“I’m letting Callie play things out.” Ryan dropped his arms, unclenching fists that he hadn’t noticed until just then. Must keep stretching.
“You’re a chicken.”
Every muscle tightened.
Jack didn’t wait for a reply before heading down to the kitchen.
Ryan ran after him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re a chicken.”
Jack nearly smacked Ryan with the refrigerator door as he whipped it open.
“This isn’t any of your business.”
WHAM!
The door slammed, knocking napkins off the top. Ryan braced himself, not really sure what Jack planned to do.
“You made it my business when you asked if you could date my sister,” he said. “It’s my business because you’re both living in my house. And it’s my business because you’re my friend and she’s my sister, you’re both acting like idiots, and it’s making me crazy!”
“First, I’m a chicken, now, I’m an idiot?”
A muscle twitched along Jack’s jaw, then on his forehead. If Jack didn’t swing first, Ryan was seriously considering it.
“I just can’t believe you.” Jack ripped the hat off his head and threw it on the table. “You were willing to move out of here just to ask her on a date. Now you’re not even going to try. Ask her!”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is.”
“It’s not. Things are working out for Callie now—”
“So?” Jack pulled two chairs out from the table and banged them on the floor. He dropped into one and kicked the other at Ryan.
Annoyance gripped his patience. “I’ll stand.”
“Of course, you will. You know what your problem is? You try so hard to be this gentleman that you’ve turned yourself into a sissy.”
Not annoyance. Anger. “I’m trying to give Callie some space.” Ryan stepped forward.
Jack leaned toward him. “You’re hiding behind your ‘manners.’ Does she even know how you feel?”
“Of course not. You told me I couldn’t tell her until I moved out.”
He jumped to his feet. “I said you couldn’t date her, but she’s never going to forget Kyle and her stupid plan if you don’t give her a reason to. You know her as well as I do. She needs a reason for everything.”
“How was I supposed to know that?”
Jack just shook his head and walked away.
Good. Ryan didn’t want to talk about this, especially with Jack. The screen door squeaked open, then banged shut. Ryan hadn’t moved an inch before he heard it again. Jack stormed toward him, stopping toe to toe with him. His entire face seemed to twitch.
“I can’t believe you. You’ve been waiting for this for years. You need to man up and talk to Callie.”
“You a
ren’t making any sense. I thought you wanted me out of here.”
“I want you to do the right thing.” Jack poked Ryan in the chest. “You always do this. You go halfway, then stop. I’m sick of watching my best friend walk away from everything, and I’m not going to let you do it to my sister.”
Ryan smacked away Jack’s finger. “You’ve never cared who I date. Let it go.” He tried to walk away, but a vice closed around his biceps, holding him back, then spinning him around.
Jack glared at Ryan, his face contorted and twitching, but for the first time Ryan didn’t think he’d get punched. In fact, for a second there, he worried that Jack might hug him.
“This isn’t just about who you date, and it’s not just about Callie, even though I’ve seen the two of you, and I’d level anyone else who led her on the way you do.”
Ryan pulled himself free. “Then what is this about?”
“My best friend always running after things, then quitting when it gets hard. If you think this can work, if you really think this is what God wants for you, then you need to man up and tell Callie. You could have been out of here that first night, but you’re using it as an excuse, just in case you change your mind. You never fail because you never try, and that”—poke—“makes you a chicken.”
Chicken. Idiot. Quitter. Ryan tried to control his anger, but his stupid friend’s stupid words replayed again and again.
Jack’s face relaxed, but his body stood rigid. “You’re not being a gentleman when you lie to her.”
Chicken. Idiot. Quitter. Liar. Rage rolled through Ryan’s veins. “I don’t need you to give me dating tips. At least I didn’t use your sister as an excuse to spend some time with Stacey.”
“Stacey and I talked. She knows where I stand.”
“She does?”
“Yeah. She pretty much beat it out of me. Callie won’t do that to you because of her plan, so it’s on you.”
Jack was right. Ryan knew it, but he couldn’t accept Jack’s words. Not now. “I’m going to grab a shower, then I’m going to leave. I need some space from you and Callie, both. I’ll be out of the house by Friday.”