It felt familiar and so very good. Erin locked her arms around his neck and moved with him, her grinding hips contrasting the action of his own, enhancing the pleasure a hundredfold. Erin felt as though she were on fire, hot and aching, wanting everything at once.
“Oh, baby,” he whispered in a voice that was guttural.
The noise from behind was as unexpected as it was unwelcome. Brand jerked his head back and ground his teeth in wretched frustration.
“Hello,” Bobby greeted enthusiastically, closing the sliding glass door as he casually strolled into the kitchen. “Dad sent me in here to ask what was taking you two so long.”
Brand’s gaze narrowed menacingly. “Tell your dad…”
“We’ll be right out,” Erin completed for him.
“When are we going to have the ice cream?” the youngster wanted to know, walking over to the freezer, opening the door and staring inside. “It’s time we had dessert, don’t you think?”
Erin nodded. “If you want, I’ll dish it up now and you can help me carry it out to everyone.”
The boy eagerly nodded his head. Then, glancing at Brand, he seemed to change his mind. “Only don’t let Uncle Brand help you. He might kiss you again and then you’d both forget.”
“I won’t let him kiss me,” Erin promised.
“Wanna bet?” Brand teased under his breath.
Bobby studied the two of them quizzically. “Uncle Brand?”
“Yes, Bob.”
“Are you going to marry Erin?”
“Ah…”
“I think you should, and so does my dad.”
A moment of tense silence filled the room. Erin swallowed the lump that threatened to choke her. Her eyes were locked with Brand’s, and she struggled to look away, but his gaze refused to release her.
“I…Let’s get that ice cream,” Erin suggested, hoping she sounded carefree and enthusiastic when she felt neither.
* * *
Erin’s suitcases were packed and ready for her flight as she walked through Alex and Ginger’s home one last time before Brand arrived to drive her to the airport. She’d woken that morning with a heavy feeling in her chest that had only grown worse as the day progressed. She dared not question its origin or what she needed to do to relieve it.
She knew the answer as clearly as if a doctor had given her a written diagnosis. Leaving Brand was far more difficult than she’d ever dreamed it would be.
He hadn’t pressured her to marry him. Not once. In fact, she was the one who’d brought up the subject, when she’d suggested he consider Catherine for his wife. That idea had all too quickly backfired in her face. And rightly so, She’d been an utter fool to suggest Brand romantically involve himself with another woman. Even now, just musing over the thought brought with it an instant flash of regret and pain.
Erin liked Catherine, enjoyed her company and wished her well, but when it came to Brand, Erin had discovered she was far more territorial than she ever realized. The awareness came as something of a shock.
Brand arrived and loaded Erin’s suitcases into the trunk of his car. If he was unusually quiet on the drive to Honolulu International, she didn’t notice, since she didn’t seem to have much she wanted to say, either.
They sat next to each other in the crowded gate area, tightly holding hands while waiting for her flight number to be called. Erin’s throat was so tight, she couldn’t have carried on a conversation had the fate of world peace depended on it.
Each second that ticked away seemed to suck the energy right out of the room. Apparently no one else noticed except Brand.
When her flight was called, those gathered around her stood and reached for their personal items and brought out their tickets.
The first few rows had boarded when Brand stood. “You’ll need to go on board now.” He stated it matter-of-factly, as if her going was of little importance to him.
She nodded and reluctantly came to her feet.
“You’ll call once you arrive back in Seattle?”
Once again she nodded.
Brand smoothed his hands over her shoulders, and his gaze just managed to avoid hers. “I’m pulling as many strings as I can to transfer to one of the bases in Washington state.”
He hadn’t mentioned that earlier, and Erin’s hopes soared. If Brand lived on any of the navy bases near Seattle, even if it was one across Puget Sound, it would help ease the impossible situation between them. Then they would have the luxury of allowing their relationship to develop naturally without thousands of miles stretching between them like a giant, unyielding void.
“You didn’t say anything about that earlier,” she said, hating the way the eagerness crept into her voice. That he was prepared to leave the admiral’s staff to be closer to her spoke volumes about his commitment to her.
“I didn’t mention it before because it isn’t the least bit probable.”
“Oh.” Her hope and excitement quickly diminished.
The final boarding call for her flight was announced. Erin glanced over her shoulder, wanting more than she’d ever wanted anything to remain with Brand. Yet she knew she had to leave.
“I don’t suppose…” Brand began enthusiastically, then stopped abruptly.
“You don’t suppose what?”
“Never mind.”
“Never mind? Obviously you had something you wanted to say.”
“That won’t work, either.”
“What won’t work?” she demanded impatiently.
“Have you ever considered moving to Hawaii?” he asked, without revealing the least bit of emotion either way.
She was so stunned by the suggestion that it left her breathless. “Moving to Hawaii?” she gasped.
As crazy as it seemed, the first thought that filtered into her brain was that she’d be forced to sell her grand piano with the house, and frankly, not that many folks would be interested in something that large, especially when it dominated a good portion of the living room.
“Never mind,” Brand said irritably. “I already said that wouldn’t work.”
She stared up at him, wondering why he was so quick to downplay his own suggestion until she realized how unfeasible the idea actually was. She had her job and her home and her sturdy, hard-to-move furniture. What about the roots she was so carefully planting in the Seattle area? Her friends? The Women in Transition classes she taught evenings?
“I can’t move.”
Brand frowned and nodded. “I know. It was a stupid idea. Forget I suggested it.”
The way their courtship was progressing, she’d leave behind everything that was important to her for Brand and move to Hawaii just in time for him to be transferred to Alaska. Knowing the way the navy worked, she could count on something like that happening.
The attendant’s voice announcing the last call for her flight was an intrusion Erin didn’t want or need.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” she demanded. At least they could have discussed it without the pressure of her being forced to board the plane. As it was, they’d sat, holding hands, for an hour without uttering more than a few words.
“I shouldn’t have said anything now.” His gaze gentled, and he brushed the tips of his fingers across her cheek, his touch light and unbelievably tender. His eyes momentarily left hers. “You have to go,” he told her in a voice that was low and gravelly.
“Yes…I know.” But now that the time had arrived, Erin wasn’t sure she could turn and walk away from Brand and manage to keep her dignity intact. Oh, hell, she didn’t know what she was going to do. He was everything she ever dreamed she’d find in a man, and, at the same moment, her greatest fear.
He hugged her all too briefly, then dropped his arms and stepped away from her. Wanting more than anything to wear a smile when she left him, she beamed him one broad enough to challenge Miss America. Then, with a dignified turn, she headed for the jetway.
“Erin.” Her name was issued in a low growl. He was at her side
so fast it made her dizzy. He hauled her into his arms and kissed her with a hunger that left her weak and clinging.
“I’m sorry,” the flight attendant said, standing at the gate. “You’ll have to board now. The flight’s ready to depart.”
“Go ahead,” Brand whispered, stepping away from her.
“Oh, Brand.” Erin hated the way her eyes filled with ready tears. Mascara running down her cheeks ruined the image she was working so hard to leave in his mind.
“Go back to Seattle,” Brand said harshly, “go ahead and go, before I end up pleading with you to stay.”
* * *
“Where have you been all weekend?” Aimee demanded, walking directly past Erin and into her living room, carting a large paper sack in one hand and a cigarette in the other. “I must have called twenty times.”
“I took a ride up to Vancouver.”
“All by yourself?” She sounded incredulous. “Good grief, you just got back from a week’s vacation in Hawaii. Don’t tell me you needed to get away.” She whirled around her, searching for some unknown object. “Where do you keep your ashtrays?”
Erin followed her friend into the kitchen while Aimee searched through a row of four drawers. She dragged the first one open, briefly scanning the contents, only to slam it closed.
Removing a small glass ashtray from the cupboard, Erin held it out in the palm of her hand to her co-worker. “When did you start smoking?” She couldn’t remember seeing Aimee with a cigarette before.
“I smoked years ago, when I was young and stupid. It’s really a filthy habit. Trust me, whatever you do, don’t start.” Even as she was speaking, she opened her purse and brought out a pack. It was a brand designed especially for women, and the smokes were thin and long.
“Aimee!” Erin cried. “What’s happened to you?”
As if she suddenly needed to talk, Aimee pulled out a chair and collapsed into it, automatically crossing her legs. Her foot started to swing like a precision timepiece, moving so fast she was creating a brisk breeze.
“I stopped off to show you my new outfit,” Aimee announced. “I bought it to wear for the settlement hearing. If Steve’s going to divorce me, I want to look my absolute best.”
“In other words, you want him to regret it.”
“Exactly.” For the first time, a smile cracked the tight line of her mouth.
“Why don’t you just come right out and tell him that?”
“You’re joking!”
“I’m not,” Erin assured her. She’d been away seven days, and upon her return she’d barely recognized her best friend. Aimee had lost a noticeable amount of weight and was so uptight she should be on tranquilizers. The fact she’d taken up smoking was a symptom of a much deeper problem.
“Steve and I are no longer on speaking terms.”
“But I thought the two of you had never gotten along better.”
“That was before,” Aimee explained, grinding the cigarette butt in the ashtray.
“Before what?”
“Before…everything.”
“Are you sure you’re not misinterpreting the situation?” Erin didn’t know Steve well, but she would have thought he was more fair-minded than that.
“That’s not the half of it.” The more Aimee talked, the faster her leg swung. Erin didn’t dare focus her attention on the moving foot, lest it hypnotize her.
“You mean there’s more?”
“Someone’s moved into the duplex with him.”
The pain was alive in Aimee’s eyes. “A woman?” Erin asked softly.
“I…I don’t know, but I imagine it must be. I know my husband—he enjoys regular bouts of sex.”
“How’d you know someone moved in with him?” Erin couldn’t help being curious. She strongly suspected that her friend was doing a bit of amateur detective work and coming up with all the wrong conclusions.
“I happened to be in the neighborhood and decided it wouldn’t do any harm to drive by his place and see what Steve was up to. I’m glad I did, too, because there was a white convertible parked in his driveway.” She blew a cloud of smoke at the ceiling, and when she set the cigarette down Erin noted that her hands were trembling.
“A white convertible?”
“Come on, Erin,” Aimee said with a heavy note of sarcasm. “I’m not stupid. It was after midnight.”
“That explains everything?”
“You and I both know a woman’s more likely to drive a white car. Men like theirs black or red. The way I figure it, either Steve’s got some cupcake shacked up with him or else he’s having himself a little fun on the side. My guess is he’s been into side dishes for a good long time.”
“Aimee, that’s ridiculous.”
“Not according to my attorney.”
“What makes him suggest anything like that? Honestly, I think this whole thing’s gotten out of hand. Not so long ago you claimed Steve wasn’t the type to mess around.” The picture of the man who’d come to their table to correct a wrong impression the night they were in the Mexican restaurant played in Erin’s mind.
“I called my lawyer first thing the following morning and gave him the license plate number. If Steve’s fooling around, and I’m confident he is, then he’s going to hear about it in court. If he wants another relationship, then the least he could do was wait for the ink to dry on the divorce decree.”
Erin couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Then again, it shouldn’t shock her. Through the class she taught at the community college, she’d seen the emotional trauma, the bitterness and the pain of divorce cripple even the strongest women.
What surprised Erin was that this was Aimee. Calm, unruffled Aimee. In the time they’d worked together, Erin had seen her friend handle one explosive situation after another, competently, without accusation or blame.
“Anyway,” Aimee said, reaching for the Nordstrom bag at her side, “I wanted you to see the new dress I got for the court date. God knows I can’t afford it, but I bought it anyway.” She carefully unwrapped the tissue from around the silk blouse and skirt that was a bright shade of turquoise.
“Oh, Aimee, it’s gorgeous.”
“I thought so, too. I’ll look stunning, won’t I?”
Erin nodded. She wouldn’t be able to go inside the judge’s chambers with her friend. According to court rules, Erin would have to wait in the hallway, but then, all Aimee really needed was emotional support before and after.
“By the way, what were you doing in Canada this weekend?” Aimee asked, waving the cigarette smoke away from Erin’s face. She glanced at the tip and extinguished it with a force that nearly pushed the ashtray from the table.
Erin hesitated, then decided that the truth was the best policy. “I needed to get away.”
“I might remind you, you just spent the last week away.”
“I know.” In the five days since her return, Erin had spoken to Brand twice. Once, briefly, shortly after she’d arrived home. Then, later in the week, he’d contacted her again. He’d sounded tired and out of sorts. Although they’d spoken for several minutes, Erin had come away from the conversation feeling lonely and depressed.
As much as she tried to avoid doing so, Erin dwelt a good deal on what she’d suggested to Brand about him and Catherine. It hurt to think of Brand with another woman. Hurt, she decided, was too mild a word to describe the fiery pain that cut a wide path through her heart when she considered the situation. It would solve everything if the two of them were to fall in love. They had so much in common, including an appreciation of the many exciting aspects of navy life. Exciting to everyone, that is, who could accept the policies and the programs of a military lifestyle.
Someone who wasn’t a navy brat. Someone who didn’t know any better.
“Erin?” Aimee said softly. “Are you all right?”
“Oh, sure. I’m sorry,” she said, forcefully bringing herself back to the present. “Were you saying something I missed?”
“No.” But the o
ther woman regarded her closely. “You never did tell me much about Hawaii. How was your time with Brand?”
“Wonderful.” If anything, it had been too wonderful. She’d cherished each minute, greedy for time alone with him. They’d both been selfish, not wanting to share their precious days with others.
No one had seemed to mind. In fact, it had been as if Brand’s friends were going out of their way to arrange it so.
“I hear Hawaii is really beautiful,” Aimee continued. “At one time, Steve and I were planning a trip there for our tenth wedding anniversary.”
“It is beautiful.”
“But you wouldn’t want to live there?”
The question took her by surprise. Erin blinked, not knowing how to answer. Could she live in Hawaii? Of course. The question didn’t even need consideration. Anyone would enjoy paradise. If Brand were to own a business there, she’d marry him in a minute and plan on settling down and building an empire with him. But Brand was part of the military, and if she were to link her life with his, then she’d have to be willing to wholeheartedly embrace that lifestyle, and she didn’t know if she could.
“Well?” Aimee pressed.
“No,” Erin said automatically. “I don’t think I could live in Hawaii.”
“Me either,” her friend muttered, and reached for a cigarette. “At least not now. Someplace cold and isolated interests me more at the minute.”
“Greenland?”
“Greenland,” Aimee echoed. “That would be perfect.” She averted her eyes and pretended to remove a piece of lint from the leg of her slacks. “So,” she said, expelling a breath sharply. “You’ll meet me at the courthouse Monday morning?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Thanks. I knew I could count on you.”
The phone rang just then, and Erin leaned toward the wall to reach for it.
“Hello,” she said automatically.
There was no response for a couple of seconds, long enough for Erin to believe it was a crank call.
“Erin MacNamera?” Her name sounded as though it came from a long way off, but not long-distance. The telltale hum was decidedly missing.
Debbie Macomber's Navy Box Set Page 55