Yet she would not be able to save her now from a misery that was like a dagger piercing her heart.
A long time later, pretending that Marcus Logan’s lips were on hers and his arms were holding her, she fell asleep.
*
The next morning Belinda was ashamed of her tears.
She was ashamed, too, of her yearning for a man who she was certain would never think of her again.
He would have come back from the City, having ensured that, through his discovery, the people of Zenjira would be prosperous and they would be able to resist any aggressive movements by the Russians.
‘So why,’ she asked, ‘should he be interested in me?’
She had already told herself a hundred times that he had kissed her out of gratitude and for no other reason.
‘I had only just met him,’ she reasoned. ‘He must have met thousands of women on his travels, who were far more interesting than I could ever be.’
Mrs. Bates called as she always did at half past eight.
Belinda got up and went downstairs.
The flowers had died in the drawing room, so she emptied the vases and went into the garden to pick some more.
She tried not to think of how beautiful the garden was in Regent’s Park.
She tried, too, to ignore the fact that so many things in her own home were dilapidated and they could not be compared with the perfection of Marcus Logan’s fabulous possessions.
He had said that what he had collected was a frame for his mother.
‘He would be very attentive and kind to his wife, if he had one,’ Belinda thought and she shied away from the thought of Marcus Logan kissing another woman as he had kissed her.
She went into her father’s study and found the carving of the tiger from Zenjira and it was almost identical to the one Lady Logan had shown her.
She took it from the shelf and held it in her hands.
She was thinking of how important her discovery would have been had not the good news of the gold mine in Arizona reached her stepfather first.
‘I am glad, so very glad,’ she thought, ‘that although was I was prepared to betray Marcus Logan, in the end there was no necessity for me to do so.’
She put the tiger back in its place on the shelf and went out again into the garden.
The beauty of the flowers and trees somehow comforted her.
It had comforted her when her mother had died. Again her mind was working and telling her that she could still, in her own way, be in touch with her mother.
But she would never be able to reach Marcus Logan.
‘He is haunting me!’ she thought angrily.
There was, however, nothing she could do about it.
As if Mrs. Bates knew how wretched Belinda felt, she cooked her favourite dishes for luncheon and dinner.
She found it almost impossible to eat.
But as she did not want to hurt Mrs. Bates’s feelings, she managed to slip some of the food at both meals into her napkin and she then went down to the bottom of the garden to leave it for the birds.
When she went up to bed, she felt that it was the longest day she had ever spent.
The loneliness was intolerable!
‘When Step-Papa arrives,’ she decided, ‘I will tell him that I want to go away. If he is really so rich, perhaps he could arrange for us to visit France or other parts of Europe.’
Then she knew with a sinking of her heart that the last thing her stepfather would want to do would be to leave England.
He would wish to remain in London, enjoying himself with his friends, still, in his own way, trying to forget her mother.
‘What can I do?’ she asked the stars before she went to bed and the rising sun when she got up.
To occupy herself she picked even more flowers.
She filled all the vases in the house and made every room look beautiful.
The fragrance of roses filled the hall and the staircase and welcomed anybody who came in through the front door.
“Now, Miss Belinda, what would you like to eat today?” Mrs. Bates asked her.
Belinda longed to say that she wanted nothing, but she knew that would upset her.
“I would like you to surprise me,” she answered finally, “and thank you both for being so kind.”
“Bates and I be worried about you,” Mrs. Bates replied. “It ain’t like you, Miss Belinda, to be so quiet and look so pale.”
“I will soon be all right,” Belinda replied. “The long journey to London and back has upset me.”
“It’d upset anybody,” Bates said. “And London ain’t the right place for you, Miss Belinda, and that’s the truth!”
After a luncheon that she had to force herself to eat, Belinda went into her father’s study.
She picked up the tiger again and sat holding it in her hands.
She was imagining Marcus Logan buying it in Zenjira, having used his intuition to find diamonds or it might have been gold.
Anything that would bring prosperity to the people who were so poor.
‘Only he would do anything so wonderful,’ she mused.
She gently stroked the wooden back of the tiger.
Because she was thinking of Marcus, the tears were once again flooding into her eyes.
As she tried to prevent herself from crying, she heard the door open.
She had no wish for Bates to see her tears and hastily she climbed to her feet.
She walked towards the shelf, intending to replace the tiger.
She wondered why Bates was standing silent just inside the room and turned her head.
Then she was still.
It was almost as if she was turned to stone with the tiger still in her hand.
It was Marcus Logan who stood there.
He did not speak.
He only looked at her and, as her eyes met his, she felt as if the whole room was lit not by the sunshine, but by a light that came directly from Heaven.
Its brilliance was so dazzling that it enveloped them both.
There was nothing in the world except themselves.
Belinda could never remember afterwards whether she moved or Marcus did.
Somehow she was in his arms and he was kissing her.
Kissing her wildly, passionately, possessively, until they were both breathless.
She was incapable of asking him why he was there or how he had found her.
All she knew was that her body had come alive with the same ecstasy he had given her before.
It was moving from her breast into her lips.
It was as if he carried her into the sky and the world was left behind them.
She gave him not only her heart but her soul, and she was his.
After what might have been a few minutes or a century of time, Marcus asked in a voice that was deep and unsteady,
“How could you have gone away from me as you did? How could you have done anything so damnable as to leave without telling me who you were?”
He did not wait for her answer, but kissed her again.
After what seemed a very long time, she managed to ask,
“H-how did you – manage to – find me?”
He smiled before he replied,
“If I can find precious stones, gold and a dozen other things, do you imagine I could not find you, however difficult you made it?”
“But – you are – here!”
“I am here,” he said, “but it might have been far more difficult had you not left your father’s book behind.”
Belinda gave a little cry.
“I never – thought of it – but of course – I left it on the table by my – bed!”
“I could not believe you had gone,” Marcus said again, “leaving only that note for my mother which told us nothing.”
“Y-you wanted to – find me?”
He looked down at her.
“Can you really ask me such a ridiculous question? I was frantic, desperate, in case I had lost you forever! Ho
w could you be so cruel?”
“I-I did not think you would – want to find me – or that I meant – anything to – you,” Belinda murmured.
Marcus moved his lips against her forehead.
“I knew when I kissed you,” he said, “that you were the woman I had been looking for all my life but thought I would never find.”
Belinda drew in her breath.
“That is – how I felt about you – but how could I – know that you felt the – same about – me?”
“For once,” Marcus replied, “you were not using your intuition. I used mine when I found I had lost the most precious jewel of all and it is quite simply called – love!”
Belinda put her cheek against his shoulder.
“Did you – really think – that? I thought – that after all – the many women you must have met I could – never mean – anything in your life.”
Marcus laughed.
“You are flattering me and at the same time being somewhat insulting!”
Belinda looked up at him wide-eyed.
“My intuition never fails me,” he said. “Or it has not done so, up until now. I knew, almost from the moment I saw you and we talked together, that you were someone very very special.”
He paused before he added quietly,
“It was like the feeling I have when I know there are jewels, gold or platinum in the ground.”
“Platinum?” Belinda asked.
“That is what I found in Zenjira.”
It was then Belinda remembered why she had run away and that Marcus did not know she was really a spy.
She moved from his arms and walked across the room to look out of the window into the garden.
“I-I have – something to – tell you,” she started.
“I am listening!”
“Perhaps – when you hear what I have to say – you will not love me any – more.”
“That would be impossible – but go on!”
“I came as a – reader to – your mother,” Belinda admitted in a small voice he could hardly hear, “in order to spy on – you!”
“So that is why you looked so frightened!”
He moved, as he spoke, to stand beside her at the window.
He did not touch her, but because he was so near, he felt her quiver.
Irresistibly the rapture was moving within her.
“M-my stepfather – spent all the money my father left me,” she stammered, “and even – mortgaged this house to the bank – so that it was no longer mine and – I had nowhere to g-go.”
Marcus did not speak.
She went on, feeling that she was destroying her only chance of happiness.
But she knew she had to tell him the whole truth.
“He thought that the only way he could – save us was to find out – before you floated a Company on the – Stock Exchange – what it was you had recently – found and – where.”
To her surprise, Marcus Logan laughed.
Then his arms were round her, pulling her close to him.
“So that is what made you frightened! My darling, people have been trying that trick ever since I first discovered diamonds. But, strangely enough, they have never managed to get ahead of me.”
Belinda was finding it difficult to speak, but she forced herself to say,
“It was – wrong – I know it was wrong and Papa would have been – furious with me – but I had to – try to save my stepfather from – going to prison – and for us – both being absolutely – penniless.”
“As soon as I discovered who you were,” Marcus said, “and at the same time hearing that Captain Rowland had come into a fortune, I guessed it was something like that that had made you run away.”
“You found – all that out – through Papa’s book?” Belinda asked. “But – how?”
“I was always suspicious of your name being ‘Brown’,” Marcus said. “You not only stammered over it when you spoke it, but you also made a mess of it when you wrote that note to my mother.”
He kissed her hair before he added,
“The inscription in the book read,
‘To my beloved daughter, Belinda, on her tenth birthday,
from her affectionate father, Richard Wyncombe’.”
“So having found out who I am,” Belinda murmured, “you then learnt what had – happened to my – stepfather!”
“That was not very difficult,” Marcus answered with a smile. “He is so overjoyed at owning shares in the most fabulous gold mine yet found in Arizona that he is proclaiming it to the treetops – or rather in Whites Club, of which I also am a member.”
Belinda gave a shaky little laugh.
She knew exactly how exuberant her stepfather was.
“But my concern is not with him, but with you, my darling. Are you alone here?”
“Yes,” Belinda answered. “I was so happy with Mama, but it was terribly – lonely for me when she married Captain Rowland – and even worse when she died.”
“And will you be very happy with me?” Marcus asked.
Belinda looked up at him questioningly.
“Are you quite sure you love me?” he added.
“I-I cried last – night because – I thought I would never – see you – again,” she whispered.
He kissed her gently before he declared,
“We will be married immediately and then we will go to my house in the country which I am so looking forward to showing you.”
Belinda put her hands on his shoulders.
“Are you – certain – quite certain that you are – safe and those men will not – try to hurt you again?”
“It is something they no doubt would like to do,” Marcus replied, “but they will all be given long sentences for breaking, entering and carrying dangerous weapons.”
Belinda gave a little cry.
“I knew – they were – trying to – injure you!”
“But you saved me,” he answered quietly, “and that is what you have to continue to do in the future.”
“How – can I do – that if you are – going round the world finding things – like gold and platinum which – others wish to – possess? I don’t think I could – bear it!”
“There is no more need for me to go round the world, unless some very special reason arises for doing so,” Marcus said. “For the moment, at any rate, I am going to spend my time in the country, making love to you and breeding horses, which is something that has always been of interest to me.”
“Do you really – mean that?”
“I mean it,” he stated firmly, “and if I do go abroad, you will come with me.”
He paused a moment and then went on,
“If you are going to protect me, you may as well do it on the spot, rather than sitting at home and using your intuition to know whether I am alive or dead!”
He was teasing her, but because she was afraid for him, she moved a little closer.
“Please – you must be very very careful of yourself. I could not – bear to lose you as I lost – Papa and then Mama.”
“You loved your parents and that is how our children must feel about us,” Marcus said. “And if nothing else, my lovely one, a family will make me want to stay at home.”
He smiled at her and then continued,
“As it is, I would rather be with you than do anything else in the whole world!”
“That is what I – wanted you to say,” Belinda cried. “Oh, Marcus – I love you – I love you!”
Then he was kissing her incessantly, passionately and demandingly and they were flying into the sky.
There was no danger, no fear, only Love.
The Love that joins two people with their hearts, their bodies and their instincts that can never be denied.
Together they were one for all Eternity and beyond into every life they had yet to live.
OTHER BOOKS IN THIS SERIES
The Barbara Cartland Eternal Collection is the unique opportunity to collect as e
books all five hundred of the timeless beautiful romantic novels written by the world’s most celebrated and enduring romantic author.
Named the Eternal Collection because Barbara’s inspiring stories of pure love, just the same as love itself, the books will be published on the internet at the rate of four titles per month until all five hundred are available.
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Elizabethan Lover
The Little Pretender
A Ghost in Monte Carlo
A Duel of Hearts
The Saint and the Sinner
The Penniless Peer
The Proud Princess
The Dare-Devil Duke
Diona and a Dalmatian
A Shaft of Sunlight
Lies for Love
Love and Lucia
Love and the Loathsome Leopard
Beauty or Brains
The Temptation of Torilla
The Goddess and the Gaiety Girl
Fragrant Flower
Look Listen and Love
The Duke and the Preacher’s Daughter
A Kiss for the King
The Mysterious Maid-servant
Lucky Logan Finds Love
THE LATE DAME BARBARA CARTLAND
Barbara Cartland, who sadly died in May 2000 at the grand age of ninety eight, remains one of the world’s most famous romantic novelists. With worldwide sales of over one billion, her outstanding 723 books have been translated into thirty six different languages, to be enjoyed by readers of romance globally.
Writing her first book ‘Jigsaw’ at the age of 21, Barbara became an immediate bestseller. Building upon this initial success, she wrote continuously throughout her life, producing bestsellers for an astonishing 76 years. In addition to Barbara Cartland’s legion of fans in the UK and across Europe, her books have always been immensely popular in the USA. In 1976 she achieved the unprecedented feat of having books at numbers 1 & 2 in the prestigious B. Dalton Bookseller bestsellers list.
Although she is often referred to as the ‘Queen of Romance’, Barbara Cartland also wrote several historical biographies, six autobiographies and numerous theatrical plays as well as books on life, love, health and cookery. Becoming one of Britain’s most popular media personalities and dressed in her trademark pink, Barbara spoke on radio and television about social and political issues, as well as making many public appearances.
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