And so, I give you the list of the amazing art you’re about to see:
THE MEETING (From Keeper of the Lost Cities)
THE FLIGHT (From Exile)
THE LEAP (From Everblaze)
THE BETRAYAL (From Neverseen)
THE DISASTER (From Lodestar)
THE TWIN (From Nightfall)
THE TRIBUNAL (From Flashback)
THE THING (From Legacy)
KEEFE ART COMMENTARY
So… Foster thinks I might learn more from my memories if I try writing stuff about them after I finish the drawings. Not totally sure why. She gave me a big speech about the power of words and different ways of processing information. But I was only half listening because she gets this cute little crinkle between her eyebrows when she’s trying to be serious, and it makes me want to reach up and smooth her forehead with my fingertip—and I’m betting she’d think I was super weird if I did that, since it’s not like she’s my…
You know what?
I don’t know why I’m talking about this! Or writing about it—or thinking about it—or whatever I’m doing right now.
Pretty sure I’m just stalling, because this feels kiiiiiiiiiiiinda pointless.
But.
Foster’s way smarter than I am. And nothing else I’ve tried has helped me remember anything new. So, I guess that means it’s time to write about my messed-up life—oh boy!
And in case I forget why I did this later, I’m writing about the memories here, instead of in the notebooks where I’ve been sketching them, because Lord Nosypants is always going through my stuff. (HEAR THAT, DADDIO? I’M ONTO YOU! AND I DARE YOU TO KEEP READING—I’M SURE I’LL HAVE LOTS TO SAY ABOUT YOUR AWESOME PARENTING SKILLS!) Plus, I have the world’s most annoying ogre constantly looking over my shoulder. (YEAH, I SEE YOU OVER THERE, PRINCESS! YOU’RE NOT AS SMOOTH AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!) So, basically, I’m separating the lock from the key. (GOOD LUCK FINDING ALL THE NOTEBOOKS, GUYS!)
Okay… let’s do this!
MEMORY #1
Ugh. The snooty expression on my dad’s face makes me want to throw a vial of gulon gas at him—and I have a photographic memory, so there’s no way I imagined it.
I think his hair actually bugs me more than his slimy smile does, though. It’s like… proof of how perfect and tidy he expects everyone and everything to be. One day I actually timed how long it took him to smooth every strand into place like that—especially that one little piece in the front. (I was grounded, okay? There wasn’t a whole lot else to do!) And he was at it for thirty-one minutes.
Thirty. One. Minutes.
Then he winked at his reflection and stalked away. (I so wish I were making that up!) What I wouldn’t give to be a Guster and be able to blast him with wind.…
But I’m guessing the point of this whole writing-about-my-memories thing isn’t to make fun of my dad’s hair, so…
*squints at drawing*
I honestly can’t tell who my dad’s showing off for. It could be Tiergan, since he definitely knew all about Tiergan’s fancy reputation—and my dad’s always looking to make new “connections.” But he could just as easily have been trying to impress Foster. I used to hear him talking about her to my mom, going on and on about how he was convinced that Foster was way more powerful than anyone knew.
And, I mean… he wasn’t wrong—but now that I’m thinking about it, my mom was the one who always started those conversations. And she kept telling my dad that he should find out more about her.
That’s probably because she was trying to plan Foster’s kidnapping and didn’t want the Black Swan to be watching her.
Huh.
Mom of the Year strikes again!
Anyway. I’m sure I’ll be digging into my mess of mommy issues soon enough. For now, let’s get back to the day Daddy Dearest met the Mysterious Miss F, shall we?
I don’t really know why I drew myself looking so miserable. I couldn’t see my face, so it’s not like I have any idea what I actually looked like right then—and I mostly remember feeling nervous, since I was super aware that my dad could tell Foster was hiding something. She’s not the smoothest liar.
Though… I guess my mood did change when I felt Foster’s emotions shift, and that’s the moment I drew here.
My dad had been droning on, being his usual jerky self. And I was picking up a pretty hilarious amount of annoyance from Miss F. But then she looked at me, and I could tell she felt…
Sad.
Not for her—for me.
My dad might’ve been trying to learn something about Foster that day. But she learned something about him, too—and it’s the thing in my life that I’d rather not have people know. Once they do, they either feel awkward, or weird, or they start pitying me for having such a horrible family.
Thankfully, Foster didn’t do that.
She just felt sad—and a little bit indignant. And if I hadn’t already known I liked her, I would’ve—
You know what?
I think that’s enough rambling about this memory.
MEMORY #2
Awwwwww, my first flight with Glitter Butt!
I love that sparkly alicorn mama almost as much as she loves me!
Too bad her back wasn’t nearly as comfortable as I wanted it to be. I couldn’t sit without wincing for days—though, I guess that might’ve also had something to do with the bumps and scrapes and broken ribs I got when Mommy Dearest and her Neverseen buddies showed up and tried to steal Silveny.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, memories!
But that’s not what this moment was about.
This one was…
Actually, I’m not sure.
All I really remember is how freaked out Foster was. And I don’t blame her. It had to be pretty terrifying knowing she was about to meet the people who “created” her—especially since we didn’t know if the Black Swan were the good guys or the bad guys back then. Plus, there was the whole “Will they be able to fix her abilities?” thing, which was kinda important since she wouldn’t be able to heal Alden’s mind if they couldn’t.
So yeah, Foster was feeling a tiny bit of pressure. And I was only there because her parents had decided that letting me go was better than having her fly across the ocean at night to meet a group of mysterious rebels all alone. But Grady still didn’t seem happy about it.
Can’t say I blame him for that. It wasn’t like I could help much. All I did was make a bunch of jokes to distract her—and it was super fun feeling her get all annoyed and embarrassed. I mean, look at that adorable blush! I could see it even with the moonlight washing out most of the color.
In fact… if I’m keeping it real… I’m pretty sure that blush is the reason I drew this memory.
I mean, I could’ve picked any moment from that flight, but I drew this one. Because that wasn’t an “I’m so embarrassed right now” blush. Or a “Keefe is driving me crazy” blush.
It started out that way.
But then it got warmer.
Almost like…
Ugh, I’m just going to say it, since it’s not like anyone’s ever going to read this (and Ro and Lord Bossypants already hassle me about it anyway—AND IT’S NOT LIKE I CARE).
That was the first time it felt like… maybe I had a tiny shot at making this brave, beautiful, blushing girl like me.
Hasn’t worked out that way yet. And I have no idea if it ever will.
But there’s a teeny, tiny chance.
And that’s enough.
For now.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, that got weird and sappy so… yeah. I can’t tell if it’s proof that this memory-writing thing is working and making me see things more clearly, or if it’s just making me find new ways to humiliate myself.
I guess we’ll see.
MEMORY #3
Right, the day of the ten thousand light leaps!
Actually, there were only five leaps—one for each of the unmapped stars. But it felt like ten thousand, because leaping with quintessence is m
isery—and it took us to all kinds of places that regular light can’t go, like deep underground and to the bottom of the ocean. (Yep, that was a kraken behind us. He definitely wanted to eat us. Foster thought he swam away, but he was totally lurking behind us the whole time we were there, trying to figure out how to break through our force field.)
Not a fun day. Pretty sure Gigantor hated it even more than Foster and I did.
This was our second leap, I think? Or was it the third?
It was the third!
We did Lucilliant, Candesia, then Marquiseire—which is what that pink glittery glow all around us is—followed by Phosforien and Elementine (photographic memory for the win!).
And for the record: Sparkly light? NOT FUN to leap with.
The Marquiseire leap was seriously the worst part of the day.
Well, I guess the worst part was technically when the Black Swan wasn’t there after we finally made it to their little island, because the whole thing was actually their plan to use Foster and me as bait. And the plan worked, because see that pin on my cape?
Mom of the Year was at it again!
She hid a tracker in my family crest—which, by the way, I’d waited years to have my parents give me. So not only did it turn out that they hadn’t finally treated me like I was part of my own family, BUT I’m also the reason the Neverseen showed up at the Black Swan’s hideout and tried to steal Silveny (and broke her wing). And I’m the reason they found that island and tried to grab me and Foster.
It’s super, super fun to be me, isn’t it?
But that’s not actually why I drew this memory—and it wasn’t about Foster, either (or how adorably protective Gigantor looks).
It was about that glittery pink light.
I guess ethertine is made from some weird combination of quintessence and lightning. And I’m pretty sure the ethertine crown my mom had Glimmer dissolve during that creepy thing she did to me in Loamnore was made with quintessence from Marquiseire. It wasn’t pink or anything. But the grating, scraping feeling that hit me when the light tore through my body felt familiar, and I think it reminded me of this leap.
So maybe if I learn more about Marquiseire, I’ll get a better idea of what’s going on with me.
It’s a pretty slim hope but… it’s all I’ve got.
Too bad this memory isn’t triggering anything useful, no matter how long I stare at it.
Oh well—at least Foster looks all cute and determined!
MEMORY #4
Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah, so… this was not a proud moment for me. It’s pretty much the Worst Idea I’ve Ever Had—and I’ve had a lot of really bad ideas.
I just… I had to do something.
We weren’t getting anywhere. And I knew the Neverseen wanted me to join them. So I thought… okay… let me give them what they want—or pretend to, anyway. Then I could find out all their secrets and take them down from the inside out.
But it went wrong right from the start—right from this moment.
Foster wasn’t supposed to be there.
She wasn’t supposed to know what I was doing until I was already long gone.
Just like she wasn’t supposed to know I stole Kenric’s cache until I’d already stolen it back and destroyed the Neverseen and saved the day and fixed everything—go, me!
But… she was there.
And while I will always be glad I made her that necklace and hid a leaping crystal in one of the beads (I seriously don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if she couldn’t have gotten away…), her escape also derailed everything. Any trust I was supposed to earn from handing over Kenric’s cache vanished the second Sophie did. And I knew that the Neverseen were never going to trust me.
I guess I probably should’ve cut my losses right then and fled to the Black Swan. But I just kept thinking there had to be a way to salvage the situation.
There wasn’t.
And I’m pretty lucky no one got seriously hurt, and that Foster forgave me.
I wasn’t sure if she would.
Sometimes I still worry that some tiny part of her holds it against me. That she’ll never fully trust me. That she’ll always see me as the guy who betrayed her and stole from her and ran off with the enemy.
I mean… look at her face.…
I make myself remember that expression every time I have to be around Fitzphie. It stops me from screaming, DON’T PICK HIM—PICK ME. Because yeah, Fitz has yelled at her a few times, and said stuff that makes me want to smack him upside the head.
But I’m the only one who’s made Foster look like this.… Like she’s just lost all hope that there’s actually good in the world.
I did that.
Not sure I deserve to be forgiven.
And on that cheerful note, let’s move on to the next memory!
MEMORY #5
Okay, so I’ve lived through some pretty scary things. But I’ve never been as terrified as I was watching Lumenaria fall.
I was right there on the beach when the castle crumbled. And all I could think was: Foster’s in there.
Everything after that is a fragmented blur.
I have scattered memories of running around, asking anyone if they’d seen her or knew where she was. But no one could help. I’m not sure they even understood what I was asking. Everyone was in shock. It felt like the whole world had just toppled.
So I kept running faster, digging through rubble, screaming her name, begging anyone to tell me something—give me some tiny shred of hope that she was okay, because she had to be. It had to be like her kidnapping—like her planting. Everyone said she was gone forever, but she came back safe.
I needed her to be safe again.
But she wasn’t with the survivors.
Neither was Edaline.
And one person said they’d seen Sophie run back into the castle not long before it fell.…
But then… there she was.
I definitely cried after I’d made sure she and Edaline were still breathing.
Don’t think Foster noticed, though. I tried to get it together before I woke her—tried to focus on looking calm, because I knew she’d need me to be. But I was a mess.
I’m still a mess, just looking at her bruises and all that destruction.…
I know I crack a lot of jokes about Foster’s near-death experiences—but there’s nothing funny about them. Especially this one.
I almost lost her.
And if I had, it would’ve been all my fault.
All of this is my…
Hmm. Probably better if I don’t finish that sentence. And wow, this is getting dark. Let’s hope the next memory is a bit less brutal.
MEMORY #6
Ha, looks like I got artsy with this one. I couldn’t actually see the moonlarks in their nest (or any fancy shadows). But… I wanted to make sure I remembered their songs.
The melodies were mournful and tragic—but somehow still so hopeful. And that definitely summed up what it felt like to find out Forkle was not-dead and still-dead all at the same time.
Fitz freaked out and yelled. Biana sobbed. Dex got all technical and asked a billion questions. Bangs Boy got moody and demanding (no surprise there). Linh did that quiet, thoughtful thing she’s so good at.
And me?
I swear, when I saw Forkle, I didn’t know if I wanted to strangle-hug him or just strangle him. I still don’t really know how to wrap my head around the whole secret-twins-sharing-a-single-life thing. But… I’m glad we didn’t lose him completely.
And I’m glad Foster took the news okay (though she did tug out a few eyelashes). Forkle had begged me with his final breaths to take care of his moonlark. And I swore I would—though he didn’t need to ask.
That’s been my plan for a long time—and not because I don’t think she can take care of herself.
Because she shouldn’t have to.
She’s dealing with enough pressure and responsibility and people trying to kill her. If there’s anything
I can do to make things easier for her, I’ll do it. No matter what.
Also? Really hoping I don’t have to wear that green tunic again. I mean, I look awesome—but I’m sick of losing people.
I’m sick of losing in general.
But staring at this memory isn’t going to help with that, so… moving on!
MEMORY #7
Ugh.
That’s all my brain wants to say about this memory.
Just… ugh.
But that’s not going to be helpful.
Neither will the many thoughts I have about the way Fitz is freaking out. Or the fact that I was only there because Alden basically asked me to join Team Fitzphie.
(Yeah, I know. I wanted to say no. But I said yes for her. She deserves to decide what she wants—even if it’s not me.)
As for helpful thoughts… I don’t know. Alvar definitely looks super meek and remorseful. And I know I’m supposed to see that and think, LIAR! TRAITOR! LOCK HIM UP!
And I do think that.
But the weird thing about being an Empath is that I also know, for a fact, that he actually was meek and remorseful after he lost his memories. And if they hadn’t come back, I think he would’ve stayed that way. Which is pretty terrifying, if you think about it.
Means we don’t have to be born evil to be evil.
We can switch sides anytime.
Pretty sure that’s what my mom is counting on.…
And before I go any farther down that depressing thought-path, let’s move on.
MEMORY #8
Welp. I knew I was going to have to face my mommy issues eventually, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here we are.
I mean… look at her!
She looks like she’s cheering on her favorite team in bramble, not torturing (and almost killing) her son! And that was seriously her expression. I’d told myself not to look at her, but I did end up stealing one quick glance, and I swear, I could imagine her chanting, Legacy, legacy, legacy!
Then there’s Tammy Boy. I should probably hate him for this, since it’s not like he’s ever been my favorite person. But… he did try to warn me. And I know he only cooperated because of those creepy light-things on his wrists.
Unlocked 8.5 (Keeper of the Lost Cities) Page 26