All I could do was huddle with her as we formed our own pulsing pile of tears, sobs and runny makeup. “I’m so sorry,” I moaned. “I knew she’d want something, but I didn’t know it’d be this. I should’ve asked.”
Chara looked up at me, her gaze telling me I’d slipped up before the accusation even came out. “What do you mean, ‘should’ve asked?’ You knew Aphrodite before today?”
Swallowing hard, I realized Chara had gone from sharing in my agony to looking ready to toss me to the lions. “It’s not what you think.”
Liar, liar.
“She’s just been visiting. Mostly as a bird. Sometimes helping me with the window.” I rubbed at my nose with the back of my hand. “It wasn’t that easy, you know?”
“How long?” she demanded.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Two months. Maybe three.”
“Three months!” Her shriek almost frightened me more than Aphrodite. “You’ve been having visits with a goddess for three months? What’d you think was going on? You had to have known.”
“I didn’t. I swear. She just told me it added to her power when beauty was important and that I was helping her. That’s all I knew.”
Chara thrashed off the bed, jerking the covers with her. “Unbelievable.”
“I know,” I pleaded, “help me. What am I going to do?”
“You?” Chara’s look was incredulous. “Help you? I’m supposed to be at least a year out from having to play nursemaid to some ancient king. I like it here, thank you very much. But now what? Now I have to suffer because you were too dumb to see the obvious?”
As I searched for the words that could possibly explain myself, Chara tore out of the room. “I can’t be here right now.”
The door slammed behind her like the crack of an axe.
Chapter 5 - Eros
Eros whipped through the cool night air, still struggling to control his temper. His mother’s audacity had hit a new low.
He couldn’t believe she’d told him to marry a mortal. She knew how he felt about them since —. He couldn’t bring himself to even think her name. That scar had finally healed and he wasn’t about to tear it open again. Especially not over Psyche, a girl who apparently detested him on sight.
What he needed was a distraction. Something to keep his mind from circling back to the arc of attraction he’d felt when he touched Psyche that morning. Or the way just seeing someone as beautiful as her made him want to seal his heart up in a metal box. He wouldn’t let himself be hurt again. Ever.
Trimming his wings, Eros landed just outside a throbbing mass of people. Dionysus’ all-night party would certainly do as a distraction. In the midst of half-naked women who actually wanted him, he figured he’d drink himself stupid. And find someone who’d make him forget Psyche’s green eyes and how much they reminded him of … her.
Pushing through a crowd of gossiping nymphs, Eros sidled up to Dionysus. As Eros hoped to be by the end of the night, Dionysus was draped in girls. He held a goblet of wine, sloshing its crimson contents to the ground.
“Dionysus, old friend,” Eros said, clapping the beefy immortal on the back, “looks like you started the party without me.”
Dionysus swung his wobbly head toward the voice and worked to squint Eros into focus. “Zou made it…” he slurred. “Have some wine!” Dionysus raised his glass and wine splashed onto the chest of the woman sitting to his right.
While Dionysus made a mess of helping the lady dry her toga, a reveler whisked over and placed a goblet in Eros’s hand. He downed the wine in one long drink.
“Here, let me get that for you.” Eros turned to find a nymph he’d known for years refilling his glass.
“Kalliste!” Eros threw an arm around the nymph. “Good to see you again.”
“You too, Eros.” Her auburn hair sparkling in the torchlight was almost as captivating as her smile.
Eros leaned closer to Kalliste and lowered his voice. “Since when did you become one of Dionysus’s followers? I didn’t think you liked this sort of thing.” He nodded his head in the direction of a group of swirling women.
“A girl has a right to change.” Kalliste brushed her bangs off her forehead. “Probably a lot has changed about me since I saw you last.”
“Do tell,” Eros replied, finishing off his wine and raising his cup for another refill.
“Maybe. First I want to know about Eros. Have you changed any?” Kalliste asked as she poured.
Eros raised an eyebrow. “Me? Why should I change?” He bumped her shoulder with his. “I’m pretty perfect as is, don’t ya think?”
“Mmmm…” Kalliste ran her hand up to his shoulder. “You are a treat for the eyes, but you’re murder on the heart.”
Eros laughed and threw back another gulp of wine. “Me? You don’t know the half of it.” He’d seen murder on the heart, but it wasn’t his doing.
Kalliste narrowed her eyes as she leaned in to hiss in his ear. “You’ve got to stop with the arrows, okay? I know you’ve been laying low for a few weeks, but Zeus sent me to confirm that you’re done. He’s serious this time. No more mortals for him.”
No more mortals for anyone, if Eros had any say in the matter.
“And you need to make things up to Hera,” Kalliste continued. “You’ve been quite the home-wrecker.”
Eros let his head fall forward. He wished he weren’t having this conversation tonight. Or ever.
“What does she want?” he groaned.
Kalliste laid her arm over Eros’s shoulder. “Just let some nice goddess make an honest man out of you. You know how she is about family. Settle down, stop sending her husband chasing after mortal girls, and all will be forgiven.”
Talk about a joke. Zeus has been chasing women since long before Eros was born. But what could he say to the little messenger-nymph that wouldn’t make it back to the Olympian rulers? Nothing.
Eros snatched the jug of wine and refilled his glass. “You know, Kalliste? You’re the second person today who’s tried to set me up.”
Kalliste’s lips twisted into a pout. “Oh. Did someone else already talk to you about Iris then?”
Eros about spat out his wine. “Iris? That multi-colored freak show? Gods, that’s almost worse than a mortal.”
Kalliste bumped her knuckles into his shoulder. “Don’t be an ass. It was Hera’s idea.” When Eros didn’t respond, she added, “She’d really like to see you settled down.”
“Yeah, well, so would my mom.” He threw back another gulp of wine. “People are going to have to learn to deal with disappointment.”
Kalliste’s face paled as her gaze locked on something behind Eros.
“What?” he asked, turning.
Aphrodite was so close, he had to stumble back so he didn’t step on her. “Disappointment is a bit of an understatement, don’t you think?”
“Not here,” he said. “I’m not talking about this tonight. With either of you,” he added, glaring back at Kalliste.
Aphrodite’s eyes cut to the nymph as she spun her son in the opposite direction. “You’ll excuse us.”
“I said not now.” Eros jerked his arm loose from her grip and stopped. “I don’t care what you say, I’m not marrying a mortal, okay?”
Aphrodite leveled her intense blue eyes at him. “Okay.”
Um, what? Eros rolled his shoulders and tucked his wings back into place. “So why’re you here?”
“It’s painfully obvious that there’s not much I can do to you for refusing my arrangement. She, on the other hand, is a different story.”
“And you came here to tell me that?”
Aphrodite snatched the goblet from Eros’ hand and threw it to the ground. “No, I came here to tell you to take care of her punishment. She rejects my son? Fine. Make her fall in love with some despicable and hideous mortal. I don’t care who, frankly. Just make sure he’s as awful to the women in his life as you are.”
* * *
A doorman peeked into the dining
room as Eros was finishing breakfast. “My Lord, Aphrodite sends word that she’s gone to holiday at sea. She said to make sure you do your job quickly so she won’t have to be bothered with the details.”
Eros’s fork clattered onto his plate. He slammed his eyes shut as the noise echoed inside his brain like cymbals. Damn. After three days’ worth of festivities, he’d forgotten his mother had made him her do-boy again. What was it she wanted?
His brain felt like pulp. Something about Psyche, he remembered that much. And not having to marry her. That news alone justified his three-day bender. His stomach settled as the memories pushed their way forward.
“Will there be anything else, Sire?”
Eros wiped at his mouth with a napkin. “See that no one comes in. Apparently I have work to do.”
As the man scurried away, Eros took a last gulp of ambrosia and headed for the courtyard. But his mutinous feet didn’t want to make the trip. Psyche’s emerald eyes flashed in his brain — so full of fire and life. Granted, he wanted nothing to do with her and the inevitable heartbreak she’d bring. But he sort of hated thinking he’d be the one who’d drown out her spark.
When had using his arrows gotten so messed up? He longed for those early, innocent years, when his arrows did only one thing: make people who were supposed to be in love stay that way. Still, what choice did he have? If he didn’t give his mother what she wanted, no telling what retribution she’d plan.
Convincing his body to finally budge, Eros made his way into the courtyard and reclined against a golden bench. He leaned back and focused on an empty patch of wall. The Greek landscape flickered behind his eyes, his second sight honing in.
The spinning visions made him nauseous. How much wine did I drink? He took deep breaths to keep his breakfast down and tried to think about who he ought to be looking for. Random searching when he felt like a weak-kneed sailor was clearly not in his best interests.
Maybe a Cyclops? No, he’d probably crunch her bones into tiny pieces. As cruel as he knew her beauty could be if he ever got close, death wasn’t a sentence he wanted to impose. And fortunately wasn’t what he’d been tasked with.
How about Argus? Eros bet she couldn’t find a way to break his heart with 100 eyes staring back at her. Not that he really liked the idea of her being perpetually creeped out, but she’d get used to it. Argus wasn’t a bad option really. Not mean, just gross. Aphrodite would probably be satisfied with that.
But that option was out too. The eyeball-endowed man was serving as a watchman for Hera. Good call on that one, actually. But that meant he was too close to the gods to be wretched enough for his mother’s purposes.
Groaning, Eros let his head fall back against the bench. He’d use the arrows like he’d been ordered. But didn’t his mother realize that just thinking about her was starting to peel back the wound? Why’d he have to find the target too? Oh yeah, because Aphrodite clearly didn’t want to be bothered with the details. As long as she was on “holiday at sea,” as his doorman had annouced, she wouldn’t be able to use her second sight even if she wanted to.
How convenient for her.
Eros ran his fingers through his tangled hair. Something sticky caught in them and the nausea resurfaced. He didn’t even want to know. Thank the gods there were no mirrors in the courtyard. He probably looked scraggly enough to be the groom himself.
Now there’s an idea, he thought. Someone who looks (and feels) as bad as he did right now.
He knew exactly what he was looking for then. There’d been a rumor spreading about it during the parties, and sure enough. The uproar projected into his brain, leading his vision easily to the target.
His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the blank wall, not seeing the stone at all. The scene unfurled just as he’d hoped. A mob was chanting. “We must end the drought! Cast the Pharmakos out!” Faces were twisted in angry snarls; the victim was jostled forward on the arms of his captors.
Swallowing back the lump in his throat, he told himself this was the right call. Aphrodite asked for hideous and the Pharmakos qualified. But after delving into the man for a moment, Eros picked up on a few positive traits too. He wasn’t harsh; he didn’t have a sharp tongue; and Eros was pretty sure he’d worship the ground Psyche walked on.
He didn’t know why, maybe just the lingering affection he felt for her, but Eros really didn’t wish Psyche ill. He knew his mother was overreacting, as she’d done a hundred times before. But she always got her way. If he didn’t impose the sentence, Aphrodite would find a way to make it even worse.
For both of them.
Realizing he was out of options, Eros settled on his choice. He could condemn Psyche to life as a vagabond if the person holding her hand would be her partner through it all. Deep down, it’s what his nature drew him to do - make good matches - not call on his talents in revenge.
Here’s hoping the pairing is something everyone could live with.
Chapter 6 - Psyche
For the next few days, there were no birds. No visits from my sister. I was alone with my crowd. Their constant, muted rumble played like the song of my heart. An endless rise and fall with no definition. Like a shape without sides. And though the sound pulsed and writhed to its own rhythm, the dullness made it feel unreal.
I wanted it all to be unreal.
The crowd, I snubbed. My sister, I craved. Each day that passed without her made my soul bleed. I could feel the walls building between us. The knocks on her door that went unanswered. How she left a room whenever I walked in.
Some things can be forgiven. But this?
Not that I’d known or meant any of it. Still. Maybe I deserved her impaling hatred. And I wished I could go back in time. Back to when that milk-white bird had first fluttered through my window. I’d tell her everything. Even though Aphrodite made me promise not to breathe a word. I’d tell Chara, and she’d keep my secret, and neither of us would be where we were now.
Those were the dreams of my tears. They gave me solice in the hours between sleep.
Until the knock on my door finally came.
Flinging myself out of bed, I raced for the door, absolutely sure I’d find Chara on the other side. I didn’t dare hope she’d forgiven me, just cooled enough to talk. To hear my side. To help me on a solution for us all.
I couldn’t even stop myself from blooming into a smile, I was so giddy she’d finally come.
The reality of my visitor slammed me like colliding with a slab of marble. My father’s messenger waited, column-strait, when I threw open my door. His eyes were fixed on a spot above my head. No eye contact.
“My Lady, your father sends word that you are to be ready by sundown. The first suitor has arrived. You are not to leave your room until that time.”
As if.
He bowed, averting his eyes, and left with his toga flaring behind him in his flight to escape my presence.
Once I closed my door, I sank into a pile on the floor. It was here. Already.
I’d been thinking through this moment, making sure I was ready to do the right thing for my sister. And the only thing that could possibly save myself.
There’d been so many dead-end thoughts; paths down a Minotaur’s labyrinth that had no end. Only one idea seemed even plausible. I’d make sure the first suitor who came married me. My stomach clenched as I went over my reasoning for the millionth time.
If I was married first, maybe Chara’s bride price would drop. And then it wouldn’t matter when she was married and Mom and Dad could let her wait. Like they’d always planned.
Plus, if Aphrodite really meant what she’d said about learning from her mistakes with Helen, then she’d have to give up the matchmaker role once I had a husband. No more wars over women, right? I’d simply have to stay her hand the only way I could.
In all the time I’d spent alone in my room the past few days, I hadn’t come up with a better solution.
So why was pushing myself up off the floor to get ready the hardest movement
I’d ever had to make?
* * *
As the sun began to set, I made my way down the long marble stairs from my room. I’d selected an olive-colored dress that brought out the green of my eyes. Maia had wrapped my hair up in a loose bun and made my skin sing with the heady perfume of sage and lilies.
The admirers had made me painfully aware that I was pretty enough without the added effort, but I asked Maia to really give it her all tonight. If I was going to marry this stranger to save myself and Chara, I needed him to see only me. I suspected my bride price was way higher than my sister’s. Plus, since he arrived so quickly, it meant his City had to be nearby. The selfish part of me loved the idea of not moving too far from home.
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