Stalked by the Past: An FBI Flashback Novel. (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 17)
Page 29
He didn’t care.
He still hated seeing it.
“And he meant nothing to you yet it was plain to see that he’d been offered up what I was told wouldn’t work. I was told flat out it would be a disaster, but some guy you just met… forget it.”
He had to stop.
If he didn’t, he’d lose her.
“I can’t forget it. You put this out there, so you just need to say it.”
Maybe if they had talked before, none of this would be happening. This was a mess.
“Your words damaged me. I felt like I wouldn’t be worth your time.”
Okay, maybe kissing him nine months ago and telling him it wouldn’t work was a bad idea. He was hurting, and that was never her intention.
Could two people, of the opposite sex, be friends and not venture past that line?
It wasn’t looking like it.
“I know that no one will ever want me. I’m some nerd who digs around in bodies all day. Without you, I never would have gotten any respect here at the FBI. I’m looked down upon each and every day. I’m the freak who plays with the dead, and the one person, who I think cares about me, won’t let me figure out if she’s the one on my own. She has to tell me. How pathetic does that make me?”
He was right.
She’d been a bitch.
“Why did you try online dating?” she asked.
“Tony suggested it, and I figured a one night stand would buy me some time.”
Time?
“What?”
“I needed time.”
“I’m confused. With who? For what?”
“You. I figured if I could hold out a little longer, maybe you’d see me differently. Maybe you’d want to move forward with me or at least give me a shot.”
She opened her mouth but he cut her off.
“I went trolling for a girl because I wanted to have sex with you. When we were dealing with the pimp, I wanted your mouth on me. I wanted to see what it would feel like to be loved by you like that.”
There.
It was said.
“It’s hard not to touch you, Elizabeth. All of this is damn hard day in and out. We wake together, work together, relax together. I’m a man. I’m just like every other one, except I know I can’t touch you. Ever. You don’t feel the same about me as I do about you.”
She stared into his eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me all of this, Christopher? Why didn’t you just say this before?”
“Tell you what? That some geek wanted to consummate what I’ve only been dreaming about? You told me it would be a disaster. You told me we couldn’t move forward. I need to find out for myself. If it’s going to be wrong, I need to believe that what we have will withstand it.”
She thought about Charlie.
Elizabeth thought about what he’d said to her regarding her mother giving him a chance.
Was Chris the one?
She wasn’t going to bet on it, but she was curious too. There was some heat there. She was curious about what it would be like.
Elizabeth offered up the olive branch.
“I think I was wrong about us.”
“What?”
Did he just hear her right?
There was no way.
“I’ve been wondering too. The last few weeks, I’ve thought about what has been bothering you. That’s why I asked you to come over last night and meet my father. I don’t know if we can work together as a couple, Christopher. I’ve been afraid to destroy our friendship. I’m afraid if I let us cross that line, you and I will fight, you’ll hate me, and I’ll lose you. Look at this mess. You’re pissed at me, and I’m going to lose you anyway.”
He stared at her.
“First of all, you’re not going to lose me. Give me some credit, Elizabeth. You’re my best friend. I’m not going to turn my back on you because we fight. You’re a bitch. An argument is bound to happen.”
“Gee, thanks for that. I feel so much better. Here I was trying to tell you I wanted to see what could happen between us in bed.”
He couldn’t think.
His brain went numb.
“Wait. You want to have sex with me?”
“I don’t wear a dress for just anyone, Christopher. That should have been a HUGE sign for you. You’re the first, and at this rate, the last. Clearly, it was a missed cue.”
This couldn’t be happening.
“You’re all I have left. You’re my only family. Gabe left, Livy left, my mom is dead, and my father is far away. Without you, I won’t make it. This city and job will eat me alive. I’m afraid that if I fall into bed with you and it’s a disaster that you’ll leave me too. That’s me being honest with you. I’m afraid.”
He watched her wrap her arms around herself trying to soothe her fear. Chris couldn’t believe any of this.
It was…insane.
Elizabeth wiped at her eyes. “What do I do if I make you hate me all because I wanted to have sex with you?”
He was surprised that she’d been thinking about it too.
“I tend to push people away when I’m scared. I’m sorry. I judged us before there was an us. Had you come to me, told me you were struggling, I would have told you the same thing. I’ve never lied to you, and I never will.”
“I'm confused. That sounds like you want to consummate our relationship.”
She did.
“I want to have sex with you.”
He stared at her as if she had three heads, horns, and was speaking in tongues.
“What? You should repeat that. I think I’m having a stroke. My brain has a bleed. No, I’m dead. That female robber pulled the trigger when she had my gun pointed at my head.”
“WHAT?”
He opened his mouth.
“She had your gun pointed at your head? When the hell were you going to mention that? I swear to God, I’m going to make her bleed.”
Chris had to stop her.
This wasn’t the time.
“Can we talk about that later? I’m on the cusp of something here, and really, if we stop discussing sex, I’m going to shoot myself with your gun.”
It broke the tension.
She laughed.
“Please tell me what you said again, but use very small words. All the blood drained lower in my body, and I’m having a very difficult time thinking.”
She smiled at him.
His heart skipped in his chest.
“I said that I think we should have sex and see what happens. I think we can withstand the storm. I think our relationship is strong enough that we can remain intact if the sex sucks. The last year gave us a lot of time to build a good foundation.”
“You’re mean to joke around like this. Don’t tease me. I’m having a shitty day.”
“I’m being serious. If we do this, I need a promise.”
Chris couldn’t get past the first part. Elizabeth wanted him. That was mind-boggling.
“Christopher?”
“What?”
“If this is an epic mess and the sex is horrible, you’ll still be my friend. You’ll never walk away. We’ll always be family.”
He would die for her.
Chris was in the same boat. He wouldn’t leave her side because he didn’t like being alone either.
“You are my family. I love you, Elizabeth. I will always love you. Sex won’t change that. It’s just a way to grow.”
She leaned forward and found his mouth. Chris couldn’t believe she was going to do this.
He couldn’t believe Elizabeth was going to have sex with him. This had to be a dream.
She moved even closer, straddling his lap as she kissed him. Chris’s hands went to her hips, and he held her to his body. The kiss was hot.
Who knew they could generate this kind of heat with just a kiss?
“Elizabeth,” he whispered.
“Christopher, are you sure?” she asked. “You need to be really sure because we can’t undo this if we screw up.”<
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She stared into his eyes.
They were clear, filled with love, and there was no doubt. Elizabeth already knew the answer to the question.
Still…
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my whole life, honey.”
She deepened the kiss. As she did, she could feel his fingers moving up the front of her shirt. He worked on the buttons as she worked on heating him up.
Elizabeth could feel his erection beneath her. As her heart skipped, she put everything she had into the mating of mouths.
Chris was in Heaven.
He wondered for so long what it would be like, and he was finally finding out.
It was perfect.
While he should be nervous, he wasn’t. There was something to be said about sex with someone you cared so deeply about in life. Like their bond, this was easy.
Elizabeth made the fear ebb away.
Suddenly, Chris wasn’t worried about his performance. There were no thoughts of him having to dazzle her or surprise her with some funky moves.
He could just be himself.
Chris didn’t care about what she was thinking. He simply let himself feel. She wouldn’t judge him.
There didn’t have to be a performance.
Shoving him backward, Elizabeth went with him to the big comfortable mattress. There was something to be said about being in his bed, and this moment would forever be in her heart.
The sex wasn’t wild.
It wasn’t crazy.
There was no off the chart chemistry.
But there was love.
As they rolled around, getting each other untangled from their clothes, there were gentle touches, kisses, and caresses of skin against flesh.
And there was laughter.
They were sharing something so wonderful.
When Elizabeth ended up on the top, once more straddling him, she stared down into his eyes.
“Please tell me you’re not going to stop,” he said. “I’ll have to hurt myself. I’ll be jerking off nonstop for a month. I may lose skin.”
She laughed. “Uh, ouch. I didn’t plan on stopping, so you should be safe.”
“Are you sure about this, Elizabeth?” he asked. “I mean, really be sure.”
“I’m sure. I’m curious. We have something special, don’t we?” she asked. “What’s between us isn’t ordinary.”
Chris touched her cheek with his warm palm. “It’s very special. I will never forget this day for the rest of my life. I promise. This is one hell of a memory. I got to make love to my best friend.”
She reached around her back and unhooked her bra. When she fell free, and then tossed it across the room, she couldn’t help but laugh.
Chris was staring at her.
“Are you okay?”
“No, I'm really not. I fantasized about this moment. It had nothing on the reality.”
“What else did you fantasize about?”
“I wanted your mouth all over me.”
She backed down his body.
“Holy shit. Are you going to…?” Chris couldn’t believe where she was heading. Honestly, he figured she’d just roll around, they’d do it, and that was it.
No.
She was giving him the works.
This couldn’t be happening.
He didn’t get to finish his thought because Elizabeth already had his erection in her hand, and she was stroking him. Her laughter made him smile.
“If I get you off, can you keep going?” she asked. “Will it take the edge off or will it end the show?”
“It’ll take the edge off. I can bounce back pretty fast,” he whispered, watching her fingers slide up and down his dick. “I have excellent longevity. I should know because I’ve jerked off plenty thinking about you.”
She grinned.
“That always gives a girl a warm and fuzzy feeling,” she teased. “You don’t have pictures of me in the closet, do you?”
“Can I?” he asked. “Is that an option?”
She licked him.
Chris moaned. “Jesus. I’m buying a lottery ticket tomorrow.”
“Uh, what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.
“I’ll explain later,” he promised. “I have other things on my mind.”
“And your dick,” she said.
He blinked a few times.
She laughed as she took him into her mouth. Gently, she worked him in and out, getting him incredibly wet.
Chris stared at the ceiling.
If he looked down his body, he was screwed. His hand found her hair, and he slowed her down. He wanted to savor this. It was something he’d never forget for the rest of his life.
His best friend was driving him wild.
As Elizabeth worked him with her mouth, she ran her one hand down his leg, scraping him with her fingernails.
“Oh, God! More. Give me more,” he begged. “Harder at the tip.”
She did just that, following his instructions.
It was fun learning what turned him on because this was a part of him that she never thought she’d see. With her teeth, she lightly scraped them all the way up his erection until he was shaking.
Then she went back to blowing him—hard.
Chris couldn’t hold on much longer. When he looked down his torso, he could see his erection sliding in and out of her mouth. It was slick with her saliva, and rock-hard.
He couldn’t think.
Chris knew why.
All the blood had gone to his dick.
“I’m right on the edge,” he muttered. When she glanced up, her icy blue eyes focusing on him, Chris couldn’t hold on anymore.
He knew what was coming.
Him.
“You had better let me go…,” he hissed, but she wouldn’t stop. Instead, she forced him into the orgasm.
And he came.
Down her throat.
He shouted her name as he tumbled into the most amazing feeling in the world. He’d never forget this moment. He’d just been given a blowjob by his best friend.
It was a new world from here on out.
Anything was possible.
Chris opened his eyes, and found her smiling down at him. She was beautiful inside and out. She truly was the most important person in his life. He’d never be able to give that up.
“Well? Did I live up to the fantasy?” she asked.
He stared laughing. “This was so much better. I don’t have words.”
She was glad he enjoyed it. Elizabeth loved sharing it with him.
“Well, I’m glad I could make your night.”
Yeah, she did, but it wasn’t over yet—not by far. Chris was greedy. He wanted to see what everything with her would be like.
Everything.
This was new for him. With the girls in college, he had to try to impress them. Now it was more about working his way around the sexy playground.
He was going to learn everything he could, while he could. His best friend had given him one hell of a gift. She was his training wheels.
“My turn,” he said, rolling and placing her beneath him.
“You won’t hear me complain,” she teased.
Chris found her mouth with his. Gently, he tormented her with his kiss. Then he broke away to slide down her body, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake.
Elizabeth arched into his mouth—especially when he found her breasts. He was teasing her nipples into taut peaks.
“Like this?” he asked.
“Christopher!”
It was all he had to hear. It made him smile. She was enjoying it as much as he had.
That was what mattered.
This felt right.
It was…fun.
He glanced up at her. “I always hated people calling me that, but every time you say my full name, I’ll remember this. I’ll think about us having fun in bed.”
“Promise?”
“How can I not? You gave me a gift today. This will be our thing. No one c
an take that from us. No matter what happens, this is ours.”
Yeah, he was right.
Elizabeth was at peace.
“You gave me a gift too. I’m genuinely having a good time. Thank you, Christopher.”
He kissed her.
“What’s your middle name?” she asked, after breaking the kiss.
He flushed red. “Really? You’re going to ask me during sex?” he said, laughing.
“Yes, because you won’t tell anyone, and I really feel like knowing it.”
“You’re a bitch for using sex to get it out of me,” he said, laughing.
“Yeah, I know,” she said giggling wickedly. “What is it?”
“Orion.”
She snorted.
He nipped a nipple and flicked his tongue over it.
It shut her up.
In that moment, Elizabeth knew this wasn’t a mistake. Was it going to lead to a relationship? She wasn’t sure. She did know it was special. It was unique.
It was…theirs.
They’d always have this. Being alone in the world, they now had something of their own.
When his fingers ran down the indentation of her panties, she gasped. “Can I?”
“Yes, please, Christopher Orion.”
He snorted.
Then he tugged the panties off her body. When he tossed them over his shoulder, and laughed manically, she giggled even more.
When his mouth found her, she stopped. Instead, he made her moan.
“Oh Christ!” she muttered, as he worked her clit hard. For someone who claimed not to have a lot of sexual experience, he was doing it right.
Then again, he was a doctor. Chris knew his way around the human body.
Here was the proof.
He tormented her with the flat part of his tongue, grinding that sensitive part until she came, and came hard.
His name was on her lips.
She was breathing heavily as he slid up her body. Immediately, they were face to face.
“So, do we go on?” he asked.
She laughed. “God! I hope so.”
Chris started reaching for his drawer. He felt around, and didn’t feel the condoms.
Then it hit him.
“Seriously! She took those too?”
Elizabeth started laughing. The look on his face was priceless, and she couldn’t help it.
“Really, this isn’t funny. It’s like getting your favorite toy for Christmas, but not getting batteries to play with it.”
“She left the batteries,” she teased. “They’re beside the remote.”