by AK Waters
Whether it was the drinks or her decision she wasn’t sure, but she felt buzzed. The musician turned from the bar and their eyes locked. Long blond hair, light blue eyes and lean body. He was good looking, if you liked that sort of thing. She imagined most women did. Devin looked away first but it was too late.
He was walking over. She felt her cheeks flush. "This seat taken?" He had a cool swagger. He must be from Portland or Seattle, she guessed.
"No, it’s not." Devin suddenly felt panicky and she stood up. "The whole table’s free." She turned for the door and practically ran out of Leroy's and couldn't wait to get home. The cool musician had spooked her. Was it that obvious she was going to leave her husband? Had the man inquired at the bar, asked Jeremy about her, or had he heard their conversation? Devin didn't know. She did know Jeremy would never betray her trust, so it was a coincidence.
Devin hemmed and hawed as she went into her bedroom and began undressing, hanging her dress up in the closet. Maybe she would stick it out until Cruz returned and then sit him down once and for all, maybe even have her bags packed for when he might return.
Something at the bottom of the closet caught her eye and she picked it up, bringing the folded piece of paper into the light.
Cruz Baby… I can't wait to sleep with you again. Love, Neu B.
Chapter Fifteen
Consequences
Just before the sun came up the next morning, Devin loaded her things in her truck to avoid the curiosity of any wives on an early morning jog. She was already considering excuses and reasons of her absence in her head: visiting family or a friend. She'd stayed up all night packing most of her clothes, toiletries, art supplies and the photo album that was resting on the coffee table. At the last minute, she grabbed the photo album and took it back into the house. Staring at photos of herself and Cruz was not going help her get clarity.
When she'd phoned Jeremy at six a.m., in tears, he didn't ask what had happened. He simply told her the offer was still on the table and she needed to pack her things.
She drove off the base and down the strand, and realized it would be tough to escape all of the SEAL landmarks in this town, and the wives. At the red light in front of The Coffee Shop she noticed two women on a toddler play-date struggling to get their strollers through the door. One of them recognized Devin and waved. A pang of apprehension hit her hard. Navy wives and their babies… was she ever going to be in their shoes? Probably not now. She knew this decision was the first step in walking away from that future. But it was something she had to do.
Impulsively, Devin pulled the truck to the curb and parked to go into Bay Books, one of her favorite places in town. If she was going to be living at the beach for a bit, she would need a good book to read. The hope of finding some inner peace made her surrender to her decision. Burying her nose in a good book while stretched out on the hot sand would help ease her mind. And let her drift away and not worry about things, if even for a few pages.
As she searched through the aisles, Devin felt someone lean in close. "Somehow I knew I’d see you again."
Devin looked up and was startled.
"It’s me, the scary guitar player who frightened you out of Leroy’s last night." He stuck his hand out. "My name’s Wyatt."
Devin shook his hand awkwardly. "You didn’t frighten me. I had just remembered something I had to do. My name is Devin."
"I love this town. Just the right size to walk everywhere. Are you vacationing?"
"No, I live here on the ba... on the beach. I went to school in San Diego. But I’m from Seattle," Devin said, knowing she was spilling too much information to this stranger.
Wyatt smiled. "Cool town, I play there a lot. I grew up in Portland."
Devin grinned before she could stop herself. When she was right she was right…
He cocked his head to the side. "And why is that funny?"
It’s just what I guessed last night as soon as you started playing," she said, still smiling. "From the first few notes, for some reason, I felt like I was in a little coffee shop in the Northwest."
Wyatt nodded. "Well, that’s just embarrassing. I’m a long-haired hippie guitar player from Portland. It’s that obvious, huh? Maybe I should get a haircut."
"No," Devin said too quickly. "It suits you. And you were pretty good last night." Devin was staring at him and quickly turned away, scanning the nearest book spines for something (anything) to buy and run out of the bookstore. When her fingers danced too long on books she pulled one out, gave it a cursory glance, and took it to the checkout.
Wyatt followed her. "Glad you liked it. I hope to play there a lot more. Hey, wanna grab a cup of coffee and maybe show me around a little?"
Devin froze. What was she thinking? If Laura or Selma found her flirting with some guy in Bay Books it would be all over the base in an hour. No way was she going to give them that satisfaction. She looked around nervously. "Oh, thanks, but I have a whole list of errands to run today. Really busy, but enjoy Coronado."
She paid for her book and made for the door.
"Well, I’m sure we’ll run into each other. I live at the beach too," He called out as the little bell above the door jangled over Devin’s head.
She jumped back into the truck and headed toward the ocean. As she drove Devin heard the chime sound on her phone. Was it finally him? What if he was home, at their house? Her heart began to beat faster. The urge to see and touch him was overwhelming. Would she turn the truck around or make him come and find her and beg her to come home? She anxiously pressed the voicemail button. It was Ann. She had left three messages.
First message: That little shit Jeremy told me what he talked you into. Have you lost your mind?
Second message: I just drove by your house. I can’t believe you would do something like this without talking to me first. They’ll see that lawn and know you’re gone. They won’t hold housing forever. If you and Cruz aren’t living together, he’s not eligible for family housing. Do you want him to come home and find out he doesn’t have one?
Hot tears streamed down Devin’s face. Ann had never been angry with her before. Suddenly Devin was deflated. Had she made a big decision out of anger? Or was this something she needed to do? She had been so certain just hours before. Now, listening to those two messages, she didn't know. Her fingers gripped the steering wheel and she fought to cut the wheel and turn around or keep heading toward Jeremy's. She hit the button for the last message, expecting another berating from Ann.
Third message: I’m sorry honey. I remember what it was like to be in your shoes. You go cool off at the beach, and I’ll come down there in a couple of days. I’ll make sure that damn lawn gets mowed, too. Love ya, girl.
* * * * *
Just before sunset, when a crowd began to gather at the Coronado Inn to watch the sun dip its final orange and pink light into the Pacific, Devin turned down Jeremy’s street. She felt the fresh sea air breeze through her windows.
As she pulled up to the pretty yellow house, she realized one hand was still clutching her phone.
No messages from Cruz. Nothing. Letting go was not going to be easy. She had cried so much on the ride over, taking her sweet time, and trying to stop. Devin couldn't.
The note kept appearing in her mind.
Mexico. Strippers. Hookers. Who knew what else he was doing right now? Devin kept going back to not only the way he came and went, but now he was hiding something from her. She couldn't go on like this.
Devin felt like a failure. She needed to talk to Lila, but not tonight. Probably not anytime soon, because she was so embarrassed.
Jeremy’s house was nestled between the Coronado Inn and a beautiful cliff overlooking the Pacific. He was at work but left a key under the mat for her. After lugging her stuff inside, Devin opened the sliding door and looked out across the deck. A little bit of her stress melted away.
The small bedroom upstairs had been painted a lovely shade of blue. She cranked the small window open as she s
tared at the waves forming ahead. The salt air would do her good.
Devin’s hands shook a little, as she pulled face wash and pajamas from her suitcase. The small twin bed Jeremy prepared for her looked so foreign.
She swallowed hard. Exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally, she crawled under the covers, and even though it had only been dark outside for an hour, she fell into a deep sleep.
* * * * *
Devin stormed down the steps of her new room and into the little kitchen. "Are you kidding me, Jeremy?" she scream-whispered. "Why didn’t you tell me he lives here? I came down to the kitchen for a glass of water last night and almost screamed when I saw him stretched out on the couch. What the hell? You could have mentioned it." She stomped into the living room and plopped on the couch.
"I told you I had another housemate. What’s the big deal?" Jeremy's tea kettle went off and he went to the stove. "Tea, Miss Tizzy Fit?"
"I just left my husband to live with not one gay man but also a straight guitar player that neither of us knows anything about. It’s a little awkward to explain, even to Ann," Devin said. "And I would like some tea. And you probably should let me make breakfast so I can think."
"You think making breakfast?"
Devin laughed. "It gives me something to do while I'm thinking of ways to explain to everyone how I moved in with two men. And only one of them gay."
"Would you lower your whisper, please? He’s right outside. He’s restringing his guitar. And for the record, I did not realize what a judgmental little bitch Ann can be. You should have heard the names she called me yesterday. Also, for your information, I got references from him." Jeremy sat on the couch beside her. She scowled while he stirred his tea in his tiny antique tea cup.
"We both know what his references are. Those blue eyes. I saw you drooling over him at Leroy's. And, he was hitting on me yesterday at the bookstore."
"The bookstore? How frightened you must have been....." Jeremy stopped speaking as Wyatt walked in with his guitar slung across his back, brushing his wind-blown hair from his eyes.
"I'm sorry for scaring you last night. I had no idea we had a new guest in the house." Wyatt turned to Jeremy and grinned. "This is the dream girl I was telling you about that keeps running away from me."
"She's still a married woman," Jeremy said as he stared at Devin. "But she'll be around for awhile, if I had to guess."
Wyatt beamed at Devin. "I guess it's gonna get a lot harder to run away from me now, Huh?"
Devin shot Jeremy a dirty look and stood up to face Wyatt. Good Lord, she thought, his eyes were beautiful. That got her all mixed up and she blurted out. "I am married to a Navy SEAL and... I’m married."
"Calm down, sister," Jeremy said. "He didn’t shove his hand up your skirt. He just noticed that you’re hot, for goodness sake. It’s a compliment."
The grin vanished from Wyatt’s face. "I’m sorry. I looked for a ring... I assumed..."
Devin fumbled with a thin chain, and pulled it from her blouse as it dangled her wedding ring. "I paint. I misplace it if I take it on and off all the time. I’m usually with people who know I’m married. It’s my fault. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you."
Jeremy mumbled something under his breath about her embarrassing herself.
"I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable," Wyatt said. He looked at Jeremy awkwardly. "Do I need to look for another place, man?"
Jeremy jumped up from the couch and gave Devin a pleading look.
Why was he so determined to have this guy live here? He was clearly hetero. "No," Devin stammered. "I don’t want to cause you guy's trouble. You were here first. It was just a misunderstanding. Plus, I probably won’t be staying here that long."
"That’s too bad. Well, I’m gonna walk down to the dock. I’m in the middle of sanding my sailboat. See you guys when I see you," and with that Wyatt headed out the door and down the beach.
Devin sighed with embarrassment.
Jeremy took her hand and escorted her out onto the deck. He put his arm around her as they gazed out at the beachcombers and seagulls. "I know you’re stressed out but this a good place for you. See over there? That jetty has a flat surface. It would be great for your easel if you get inspired. I’m sorry about Wyatt, but he’s a triple treat. We get free music everyday, he has a boat and we get to look at him." He kissed her on the cheek. "Time to get to work for me. A big seafood shipment is coming in and I need to be there early. I'll see you later."
* * * * *
Ann stopped by the house that night, and met Wyatt as he was leaving for a gig at the pier. Afterwards, she and Devin went for a walk on the beach.
"I won’t lecture you, but unless you want your marriage to be over, living here with that hotness of a guy is playing with fire."
Almost defensively Devin replied, "Jeremy neglected to mention him. I had no idea. But he’s a nice guy."
Ann raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, in my experience, and I have some, musicians who look like him don’t get up to much nonsense with good looking women who are mad at their husbands."
"I'm not just mad at him. I… found something." Devin hadn't yet confided in Ann what the note had said. Now, she read it from her mind, like she'd done since she'd found it in the closet.
Ann stopped walking and put her hands on Devin’s shoulders. "I can't imagine it's what you think it is."
"Then what is it?" Devin asked. She so wanted a simple misunderstanding or a joke or… anything but the truth.
"We'll figure it out. I know Cruz’s job seems cruel right now but in two or three years it will change. It will get better if you hang in there. There’s so much love between you two."
"Is there, Ann? I haven’t heard a single word from him. He talks a good game but it’s the things he doesn’t do that hurt me. The least he could have done was call and let me yell at him. I don’t care where he his, you can get your hands on a cell phone."
She watched Ann turn her face toward the ocean. "Maybe not, honey."
Devin touched her arm. "You know something."
"I’ve overheard a few things. Sam has been in contact with Team Five’s handlers almost constantly. I don’t know the details other than it may be a rather extensive mission." Ann turned to Devin. "I'm not stupid enough to think temptation isn't out there, but I think you have a loyal guy. Right now he's too loyal to the job, but I can't imagine he'd cheat on you. Or go to Mexico with the men who did." Ann turned away.
A tear welled up in Devin’s eyes. More mystery, more evasion, and never anything concrete. "He’s living his dream and I don’t want to spend my life resenting him for that. He would fall out of love with me if I was that woman. Maybe he already has. Why does he need a wife anyway? He is never home."
Ann shook her head. "You know that’s not true. He loves you very much."
Devin turned to walk back toward the house. “I have to figure some things out and I think this is a good place to do it. And don’t worry about the guitar player. He’s not my type."
Ann smirked. "Honey, that boy’s everybody’s type. Probably the only thing he has in common with your husband."
Chapter Sixteen
Life's A Beach
Devin lugged her paint supplies to her trusty little pickup truck and hoisted them to the bed. It was one of the few things in her life that hadn't changed.
Cruz certainly had. Or am I being too critical of him? She wondered.
Her close friends kept telling her she knew what she'd gotten herself into, but she realized too late she didn't. Despite the warnings and the warning signs, she hadn't seen any of this coming.
Devin's thoughts went back to the gas station meeting between them and subsequent meet in the restaurant and their whirlwind dating that followed. She'd been captivated by Cruz. Everything about him was so different from every other guy she'd ever dated. Devin was drawn to artistic types who took pride in being edgy, different and dramatic. Cruz was their polar opposite: fun, easygoing and virtually drama-free. Excep
t lately.
He lived for the adrenalin rush of being in the Navy and being important in his military career. He also loved the rush of skydiving, scuba diving and racing his cross-country bike. Cruz was brave and lived for the danger.
His devotion to his career bordered on religious fervor. Devin was a hippie artist who had her own passion: art. Despite being so different on paper, they made it work, especially in the beginning when it was all new and they wanted to know everything about the other person's ideals and work. It wasn't a bad thing the sex was so damn amazing, either.
* * * * *
Time passed slowly when you lived on the beach. At first, it was nice to have roommates again. Hearing doors close, toilets flush, and the refrigerator opening were reminders that she wasn’t alone.
The three took turns cooking but both guys were slobs. Cruz had been meticulous about order with all those years of training.
And he had never once left the toilet seat up. This courtesy was a foreign concept to Jeremy and Wyatt. They both worked nights and slept in until about one o’clock. Devin tiptoed around each morning, forcing herself to keep a schedule because staying in bed only made her feel worse. Most mornings, she painted on the jetty until late in the afternoon.
That was when Wyatt would come out and strum on the deck. It became a meeting place for them as she would head back into the house. The awkwardness between them softened as they gazed out into the ocean in silence. Sometimes on those early evenings, she would spot a group of SEALs jogging down the beach and her chest would tighten. She would either go inside and check her phone or throw herself on her bed and cry, trying to remember what his hands felt like on her body and what he smelled like. Wondering where the hell he was and if he was thinking about her.
Three more weeks went by and there was no word from him. In that time she had completed six canvasses. Jeremy took them to Leroy’s and two of them had already sold. That provided somewhat of a relief because she felt guilty using Cruz’s pay for any expenses that didn’t involve their life together.