by Bee Daniels
Melanie tried to look away, but Noah grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Don’t break up with me,” he pleaded. He felt like their relationship was something he couldn’t grasp anymore and was slipping away by the second. He didn’t know what was wrong, what he had done to push her to this point, but all he needed was some time to talk to her. He watched as she pinched her eyes shut, and Noah wondered what was on her mind, and how he could change it, what he could do to reason with her because for the life of him, he didn’t want to lose her. He had never felt this way about anyone before, had never chased after anyone before, and here he was begging and pleading with her to not leave him. She couldn’t leave him.
Noah pressed a kiss to her forehead before holding her tight in his arms, wishing that he could keep her there, wishing he could melt away every single worry she had in her mind. If only he could just hold onto her a little bit tighter.
“Things change,” Melanie whispered against his chest, and Noah squeezed his eyes shut as he felt them begin to water. “I want to break up.”
Noah held onto her until Melanie pushed herself from his grasp. Noah opened his eyes and looked at the determined expression on Melanie’s face as she grabbed the box with his things in it and opened the door before she pointedly looked outside of it.
Noah gritted his teeth before he snatched his bag up and grabbed the box, leaving out the door with a bruised heart. When he heard the door slam behind himself, he gulped down the heat he felt in his throat. Melanie just kicked him out and broke up with him, and Noah had no idea why.
Noah kissed his teeth in frustration before leaving with a heavy heart, uncertain of whether this was truly the end or not.
CHAPTER
46
NOAH
“W
HAT THE HELL WAS THAT, WALKER?” Coach Benson yelled as they stormed back inside the locker room after the game. They had won by the skin of their teeth with a score of 2-3, no thanks to Noah. His game had been bad. He couldn't remember the last time he played like that out on the ice. It was like he had no control of the puck anymore. He couldn’t get the puck to the net no matter how hard he tried, and twice, he had been sent to the sin bin for fighting with the opponents too hard. The game had gone terrible, and to be honest, Noah was surprised they had won.
“Where the hell is your head at, huh? We almost lost the fucking game!” Coach Benson yelled. No one else in the locker room said a word, not even Anderson, who usually relished in the moments Noah got reamed out by the coach. But after a game where they only won by the skin of their teeth, no one was in a good mood. Coach Benson continued to rage, and Noah said nothing. He had nothing to say, no excuses to make. Of course, mistakes were made in the game. It happened all the time, with you missing a clear shot or a pass. You weren’t always going to get it right. You weren’t always going to make that lucky shot. But this wasn’t just about mistakes. Noah had made more than one in one game alone, and he never did that, ever, until now. Everyone on the team knew it as they kept their heads down.
“Get in the fucking showers. Tomorrow, come in here at 6 am,” Coach Benson yelled, and groans were made in response. Noah snatched his towel out of his locker and made his move to leave, but Coach Benson stopped him.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Coach Benson growled out. “I’m serious, Noah. I want to know what was on your mind out there. If it weren’t for your teammates, the game would have been lost.”
Noah was teetering off the edge with anger, and usually, he could deal with Coach Benson ragging on him, especially when he was in the wrong. But right now, Noah didn’t care for it. He didn’t care for anything. And the annoying buzzing of Coach Benson's fucking voice in his ear pissed him off.
“I’m not the only fucking player on this team!” Noah barked. “I did what I needed to do. Get off my fucking back.”
A feather could have dropped, and everyone in the locker room would have heard it, including those who had gone to the showers as no water was running. The rest of his teammates instead stood at the entrance of the showers watching their conversation unfold. Coach Benson stared at Noah, shocked before his face flamed with anger, and the next thing Noah knew was that he was slammed against the locker.
“What did you say to me, boy? I want to hear that again.”
“You heard me,” Noah said, undeterred. Right now, he could give less of a fuck about Coach Benson’s rambling, and if Coach Benson didn’t get off of him right now, it didn’t matter how much Noah respected the man, he would be laid out on the ground cold.
“Noah!”
Noah continued to glare at Coach Benson, not even bothering to acknowledge his father’s voice, who had just stepped into the locker room.
“I’ll handle this,” his father told Coach Benson, who continued to glare at Noah another beat before he took a step back. Noah shrugged, annoyed as he picked up his towel that had fallen.
“You’re coming back home with me,” his father told him as Noah walked to the showers. It wasn't an offer he could deny, and right now, Noah was depleted of his energy. He didn't feel like arguing with his father, especially when a part of him didn't want to be on this campus.
As Noah turned the shower on, he heard his father apologize to Coach Benson for his behavior, and the rest of it became a buzz under the sound of the pressing water. Noah snorted. His father was doing what he usually did, fixing and controlling his career because clearly, he believed Noah couldn't do anything on his own. Noah closed his eyes, letting the hot water rain down on him.
He was tired and emotionally drained. Right now, he couldn’t think about the game. He couldn't think about his mistakes. Right now, all he could think about was the woman who left him in misery.
***
The ride back home was quiet. And though Noah hadn’t planned to go home this weekend and hadn’t been back home since Christmas, he didn’t mind going back now. Maybe he needed to be back in a familiar place so he could regain himself.
Noah pressed his forehead against the window as he looked out at nowhere in particular. The sound of country music buzzed from his father’s radio, but the music didn't meet Noah’s ears because his mind was somewhere else.
“What’s wrong?” his father asked, breaking the silence between them. Noah hoped his father wouldn’t ask him anything at all, but then again, Noah was surprised that they had made it this far into the drive without him questioning him. He knew his father was disappointed by how he played out there and had more than likely come to the locker room himself to rage on Noah until he saw what was happening. Noah could only imagine what would have happened if his father made it to him first. It definitely would have been ugly, and more than likely would have been the headline of every sports news entertainment.
“I lost something,” Noah said. He didn't even know why he was telling his father this, but for some reason, he wanted to speak about it. He didn't have anyone else to speak about it with. It's not like he could tell his friends about his relationship with Melanie, but then again, it wasn't like he could tell his father either.
“Maybe…what you've lost, you shouldn’t have had.”
“No,” Noah said, shaking his head. “I’m certain I was supposed to have it. I’m positive I was, but… but I just don’t know how I lost it. I don’t know…how to get it back again.”
He called Melanie countless times, had gone to her place, and dropped by her office to speak to her, but she had been dodging him. She wouldn’t answer his calls or reply to his texts. She would make herself scare on campus that he couldn’t find her, and whenever he knocked on her door, he would get no reply till the point he had to give up. She didn’t want to be with him anymore, and she had meant it. There was nothing between them now, and that hurt— not professor and student, not friends, not anything at all. That hurt more than anything.
His father didn't speak for the rest of the ride, and Noah was grateful for that. When they
made it back home, Noah didn't say anything to anyone and immediately went to his room, letting his father make up excuses for his mood. Immediately, he stripped down to his boxers and dropped down into his bed, taking in the familiar scent, trying not to think about what Melanie's bed would feel like right now as he drifted off to sleep, hoping for a better tomorrow.
CHAPTER
47
NOAH
B
UT, OF COURSE, THERE WAS NO BETTER TOMORROW WHEN NOAH WOKE. He was still tired despite sleeping for eight hours, and worst of all, he was still angry. It hummed beneath his skin, unwilling to disappear even in the comfort of his home. And the ache in his heart appeared every time his mind strayed too far, and he thought of Melanie. He told himself not to, but it was hard. She was stuck in his heart, rooted so deep that he couldn't rip her out in the way she had done him.
He had seen many of his friends get their hearts broken before, but he himself had never experienced it until now. Now, Noah could understand what it felt like, what it felt like to be betrayed and left behind, and how it fucked with your mind. The way he played last night, Noah couldn’t play like again. He was lucky that he had great teammates to pick up his slack. But, for the next game, if he were that bad again, they wouldn’t be so lucky. They were in the Frozen Four now with the best of the best teams who obliterated all the other competition to make it to this point. He would have to play at his best if he wanted to win the championship. He needed to remember his goal and leave everything else behind him, including Melanie.
With that thought in mind, Noah got up from his bed and decided to spend his day in better spirits. He would have to deal with his emotions after the season was over. He cleaned up, got dressed, and headed to his younger brother's room to see what he was up to. And of course, his brother, Timothy, was too preoccupied with his PlayStation to even bother looking back at him.
“I heard you sucked last night,” Timothy greeted him. Noah leaned against the door frame of his brother's bedroom, watching as his brother mindlessly played one game after another. Noah couldn't help but wish his life was that simple again. Back when hockey was a hobby to him, and when he still thought of girls as the enemy because they sucked the fun out of everything. But soon, his brother would experience changes too.
“I didn’t suck,” Noah argued, though he knew that was a total lie. “I just wasn’t at my best.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Timothy said, dismissively. “Sounds like excuses to me.”
Noah rolled his eyes before looking around at what was near him. When he spotted a toy, Noah spiked it like volleyball directly at his brother's head.
“Ouch, you asshole. I lost the game because of you,” Timothy said as he finally turned to look back at him.
“Where's the old man at?” Noah asked. He knew his father would want to speak to him about his game last night, and Noah thought it was best to just get it over with rather than dealing with it later. Actually, now that Noah thought about it, he was surprised that his father hadn't been the one to wake him up and tell him to do some crazy type of drills. Sometimes, his father still thought he was his coach, and Noah had a feeling that would never change.
“He was talking to mom,” Timothy said as his attention went back to his game. Noah closed his brother’s door and went down the hallway. He decided to go to his mother's study first to see if his father was there. As Noah got closer to her study, he heard their voices carry from her room, and wondered what they were arguing about this time. It's not that his parents argued often, but they definitely had their disagreements often. Sometimes, it felt like his parents were water and oil, and Noah couldn't help but wonder what made them fall in love when they were so different. They had disagreements about everything, from his father's drinking and partying habits to the way his mother put on a show to impress others around her. It was endless, but right now, what they were having was definitely the beginnings of an argument. Noah listened to see if he should wait for later or interrupt them now, depending on the severity of their conversation.
“…she should be dating people her own age. Why does it have to be him, huh? Why does it have to be our son?”
Noah frowned as he took a step closer to the room.
“Alie, you made a mistake. You shouldn’t have done that.”
“I made a mistake? What if it was Allison dating someone older than her? Would you say the same thing?”
Even through the door, Noah could hear the sound of his father’s frustration. “You should have seen how he played out there. I’ve never seen him play like that before. Weston is in the Final Four now, and they barely won by the skin of their teeth. The media is dragging our son through the mud. People are worried if he can handle the pressure of stronger teams. What if his game continues to be like this?”
“That’s all you care about, Allen. You’ve never cared about anything else other than hockey. You don’t even care that your son is dating his professor. That should bother you, Allen. But no, you’re more worried about his game. You've never cared about Noah unless it involves hockey. Well, I'm tired of it, dammit. I don't want to hear about hockey again.”
“No, there won’t be any of that. I care about my son, dammit. And I know Noah has worked too hard for this. Besides, he’s a grown man now. He has to make decisions for himself. Noah knows what he’s doing. Besides, she didn’t seem like a bad wo—”
“I don’t care. I won’t accept this. I’ve accepted the fact that you threw your dream on our son, and I’ve never said a peep about it. I never said anything about the fact that you’ve always valued his hockey skills over his education and well-being. You were never a father to him, and you were only his coach. That's why he's been so lost when it comes down to girls, so much so that's he's run to his professor, for Christ's sake. But I won’t accept her with my son. He’ll get over it. She’s just another girl. She should be lucky that I didn’t tell the school board about her. She should be fired—”
Noah couldn’t take it anymore before he burst through the door. Both his mother and father looked at him in shock as Noah breathed heavily, processing exactly what he heard and what it meant.
“Did you…” he looked at his mother, shaking his head in disbelief because she couldn’t have done that. The meddling in his life had always been his father, but his mother had never done that. She had trusted him, so how could she... “Did you tell Melanie to break up with me?”
His mother stared at him momentarily before her gaze dropped to the floor, revealing her guilt. Noah's heart dropped. Everything made sense now, why Melanie had broken up with him and started to talk about things she had never mentioned before. She had been perfectly fine that morning, but when he saw her that night, she looked broken. He had no idea, and he could only imagine the words his mother had told her.
“How could you do that?” Noah asked, rage taking over him. “How could you meddle in my life like that? Why the hell did you fucking do that, mom?”
“Now, calm down, son,” his father said as he tried to grab Noah's shoulder, but Noah shrugged off his father’s hold. He didn’t want to hear anything about calming down when they were melding in his life like he was a fucking child. He had thought Melanie didn’t love him anymore, but everything that happened was all because of them.
“I expected this from dad, but not from you, mom," Noah said, disappointed in her. "I’m grown enough to make my own decisions. I’m not a kid anymore."
“And I know that,” his mother interjected quickly, “but that woman is too old for you, and it’s not just that, but she was your professor. Do you know how shocked I was when Barbara told me she saw you guys together at breakfast?”
Noah didn’t give a fuck. He didn’t care about any of those things. He didn't care about his mother's pride when she had to explain why her son was out with his professor. All he cared about was what he had lost.
“Do you know I had to beg Melanie to be in a relationship with me because
she was worried about what other people would think of her? Do you know how much I had to chase after her just to get her to accept me?”
His mother’s mouth dropped. “Wait. You want to be in a relationship with her?”
“Of course, I do. I love her,” Noah explained. “I’m in love with her, and just like that, you ruined it. How could you do that to me?”
His mother shook her head as she turned away from him. “It’s not love. It’s just an infatuation. You’ll find someone your own age who didn’t teach you someday, and then you'll look back on this and see that it's strange. You'll see that I did this for you.”
“Alie, just listen to the boy," his father pleaded.
“I won’t accept it.”
Noah shook his head as he stared at his mother’s back in disgust. “You're no different from dad. You're not doing this for me. You're doing this because you're worried about what other people will say about our family."
His mother spun back around her face hot with anger. "That's not true!"
"The truth is it doesn’t matter what you won’t accept. I make my own decisions, and if I want to be with Melanie, I will be."
"Noah!" his mother called after him as he left out of her study, but he didn't turn back. He didn't want to hear anything from either of them. This moment just confirmed what he had always known— his parents were selfish, and the reality was that both of them had always cared more about how the world saw them than they had ever cared about him. Noah left the house, taking one of his father’s cars.
CHAPTER