“Tell me. I know that look,” he’d prodded.
She tucked a lock of hair behind her ears, and her gaze evaded his. “What look?”
“The ‘I’m thinkin’ something so wicked I’ll burn in hell’ look. Have to tell. I told you my fantasy.”
She shook her head and laughed, but it sounded strained.
“Chrissi?”
“You’ll tell.”
“Tell Ezra?”
She nodded. “I don’t want him mad.”
“It’ll be our secret.”
Her face had screwed up in a grimace. “Sometimes, when I’m in bed and thinkin’…I wonder what it would be like.”
“What?” he’d asked, thinking he might already know from the blush coloring her face.
“What it would be like to be with you and Cade and Ezra…together.”
His heart had thudded against his chest. His cock had jerked inside his jeans then started to fill. He cleared his throat. “You think about it often?”
She nodded, ducking her head. “I know. Makes me sound like a skanky whore, huh?”
“Nothing wrong with fantasies. I’ve had the same one.”
She’d blinked, then her gaze locked with his for a long moment before she’d broken away and shrugged. “So that was my fantasy. Yours is doable. So why haven’t you made a move on Shanna?”
“’Cause my best friend, Bo, wouldn’t like it much.”
And just like that, she’d put the idea in his head. He’d talked to Cade first, who’d warned him not to say a thing to Ezra because he didn’t need Ezra getting bent out of shape.
But things had changed. They’d both started watching Chrissi with more than just a male’s casual appreciation. They’d begun to think of her as a potential partner. It couldn’t be helped, even if they were straying into their brother’s territory.
All it had taken to make things blow up was a conversation that exploded into blistering argument in the truck while they drove to the Homecoming game.
“Penny for ’em,” came a soft voice, pulling him back into the present. The object of his fantasies stood next to him, her smile shy but her chin lifting to let him know she wasn’t gonna let a little thing like a blowjob make her feel less sure of herself.
Warmth crowded into Josh’s chest. “I ever tell you how much I love that sassy mouth of yours, sweetheart?”
She laughed, her cheeks turning a lovely rose. “When it’s full or when it’s dishin’ insults?”
“I’m equally impressed. Grab that plate and I’ll get these steaks off the grill before they’re overdone.”
“You made mine—”
“Like shoe leather, yeah, I remember. Not a hint o’ pink.”
Chrissi picked up the platter and held it while he stacked the thick steaks.
“It’s nice havin’ you here,” he muttered.
“So you all keep sayin’.”
“It’s true.”
“I know that. And I have to admit, it feels kinda natural bein’ here again. Like I never left. Makes it harder, I think.”
“To say goodbye?”
She nodded, then bit her lip. “I’ll take these to the table.”
He watched her walk away while he turned off the propane and closed the grill. She’d let her guard down at last. Was talking to them again, enjoying herself. He knew what they had was good. Ezra told them she hadn’t had a lot of partners over the years so her sensuality wasn’t something she spread around. It belonged to them. How could she even consider cutting off that part of herself? It didn’t make sense.
Walking toward the glass table, he watched Cade hold out her chair and her laugh at something he said, ducking her chin then glancing at Ezra as though seeking affirmation that it was okay for her to enjoy his brother’s attentions.
And that’s when it struck him—what they had to do. Ezra had thought that maybe they should go easy. Make her comfortable, remind her gently how good it was be among them. Cade had been the one to quietly prepare the playroom, the one Ezra had said she wasn’t ready to enjoy.
Josh glanced at Cade who’d seen Chrissi’s little “tell”. He gave him a nod. The next round, Ezra wouldn’t be the one in charge if he wasn’t willing to give Chrissi everything she needed to make the right choice come Sunday.
Chapter Six
Cade kept mostly quiet throughout the meal while he studied Chrissi. Her manner was more relaxed than it had been when she first arrived, but there was still a wall that she kept carefully erected between herself and them, or maybe between herself and her desires. Cade knew it was up to him to figure out how to breach it.
Ezra could tempt her, could momentarily push her past her comfort zone. She’d crumbled beneath his full-on seduction. Josh was a buffer. A playmate who could tease a smile from her or gentle her anger with a teasing jibe.
Cade knew he was the dark horse, the one she thought of as a Steady Eddie. But if he was quiet it was only because he liked to suss out a problem, think of all the ways it could be fixed, before he made a move.
The problem with Chrissi wasn’t gonna be fixed by fucking her straight through the weekend. Not by trading her off, one brother to the other. They’d only be confirming her fears, tightening her resolve.
Chrissi needed something new. Something to shock her past being able to regroup and reestablish her defenses. He and his brothers had only played with domination with Chrissi in the past. They’d let Ezra be the boss of things, and she’d always blossomed for those brief moments. But Chrissi needed to have a little training. Reinforcement and refinement. She needed to be shown what she really was, what she needed deep in her heart of hearts.
Chrissi was a submissive in need of a strong Dom, maybe a pair of them. Ezra wasn’t going to like it. He thought she needed a gentle introduction, that schooling her would be part of a long-term campaign, but Cade was solidly with Josh now.
Ezra sat beside Chrissi, his hand cupped around hers as she sipped her iced tea.
Cade nudged his foot under the table.
His older brother shot him a questioning gaze, then narrowed his eyes, guessing from his expression that something was afoot.
“I’m taking Chrissi to bed,” Cade said quietly.
Ezra arched an eyebrow.
Chrissi blushed.
He noted the dark shadows beneath eyes that still managed a hint of sparkle at the thought of another sexy interlude.
“Sweetheart, hate to disappoint you, but you need rest. You look done in.” To the guys he said, “Take care of the dishes and see to the room.”
She didn’t appear to hear the special inflection he added, which was a good thing. She’d need rest for what he had planned for her.
Ezra’s hand tightened around Chrissi’s, but he leaned toward her and kissed her cheek. “Go on with Cade. He’ll take care of you.”
She gave him a nod then shot Cade a glance that was at once a little hesitant and trusting.
Cade felt a like heel, knowing she’d look at him in an entirely different light come morning.
Chrissi straightened her shoulders. “Hate to rain on your parade, but what’s happenin’ with my car? I can’t let it sit on the side of the road all night.”
Josh grinned. “A friend of ours took care of that already. He had it towed to your house.”
“A friend?”
“Bo Crenshaw.”
Her expression clouded. Reminded again of that long-ago night. Cade hoped like hell that one day she’d forgive them for being thoughtless and crass. That night had colored their past, tainted their friendship and stolen years.
“Any more worries?” he asked, keeping his tone even.
She shook her head. “Guess not.”
Cade pushed up from his chair and circled the table to stand beside her. He held out his hand and she slid her delicate one across his palm. With a gentle tug, he pulled her up and slid an arm around her waist. “Promise. Sleep only,” he whispered against her ear.
“Thanks. I di
dn’t know until this moment just how tired I am.”
Cade nodded to Ezra and Josh and watched the tightening of their faces. They knew he was through waiting. That he’d taken the lead. For now.
Inside Ezra’s bedroom, Chrissi stood beside the bed while Cade pulled the oversized shirt over her head and turned down the covers.
“I need to use the facilities,” she said quietly, feeling awkward again to be standing naked next to the quiet Kinzie.
Cade might be the quiet one, might be the one she’d always thought of as the most grounded and kind, but there was something different about him now. Something watchful. She didn’t know why, but something of his stance and enigmatic expression put her to mind of a wolf, a patient, intelligent predator.
He gave her a nod, his permission to leave, which made her bristle. She didn’t need any man’s permission to do a damn thing, but here she was allowing him to take charge. Still, she left him to take care of business in the bathroom and brush her teeth.
When she let herself out of the bathroom, she saw his jeans draped over the armchair in the corner, and Cade lying beneath the covers with two pillows wedged behind his shoulders. He patted the bed. “I didn’t change my mind. We’re just sleepin’. But I’m gonna hold you.”
The thought was too delicious, too seductive to a woman who’d slept alone for so many years, for her to even pretend she didn’t want it. She slid beneath the covers while he turned off the bedside lamp, then let him turn her to spoon her body against his.
She rested her head on his arm and scooted deeper against him. His cock was semi-aroused and pushing against her butt.
“Can’t help that,” he whispered, humor in his tone. “Ignore it.”
“Easy for you to say,” she grumbled, hiding a smile.
“Nothin’ easy about having you here in my arms and not doin’ a thing about it. But I don’t wanna prove you can’t trust what I say.”
“I never doubted you were an honest man, Cade.” She turned inside his arms. His gaze, which glinted in the moonlight, was still shuttered, wary. “Maybe you can make me understand.”
He pulled away a lock of hair that clung to the moist corner of her mouth. “What can’t you quite grasp?”
“How you of all people can be okay with this. Don’t you want a woman of your own?”
“Truth be told, I’ve never found another you, Chrissi.”
“But I wasn’t your girl. We weren’t intimate before that night. How could you know?”
“Didn’t you know the truth? Even before we did it? Why else would you have told Josh what you did?”
She sighed. “I didn’t see it as something permanent. Just a fantasy. Like fucking Brad Pitt. Not something I truly aspired to.”
“I knew because every time I watched you with Ezra, I burned. I was so eaten up with jealousy, I stayed horny and mad and ready to pull teeth because I wasn’t the one you wanted. I didn’t like what it made me feel about my brother. I didn’t like that my fantasy had to do with stealing you away, fucking you in front of him. Now, I love my brother. I’d die for him. But I’d fight him for the right be with you.”
She swallowed hard. The uninflected way he said it, the steadiness of his gaze said he meant every single word. She turned away, but let him pull her snug against him, let him smooth his hands over her body, avoiding her breasts, never straying between her thighs—soothing jumbled thoughts and a worn-out body.
She felt sorry for herself that she didn’t feel the same sense of conviction that he did. Couldn’t be as selfless about her needs. She might desire all three of them, but she needed peace of mind. Needed self-respect. Needed to know that her future wasn’t going to be something sordid and sinful, and ultimately flawed. When she took a mate, she wanted it to be forever. Not just for now.
And she seriously didn’t see how this could work in any way, except as a short-termed fling.
“Go to sleep, Chrissi. Stop worryin’. It’s gonna be okay.”
“You sound like Ezra. You both like bein’ in charge. How does that work with him managin’ the ranch?”
“He’s got the final say, but I’m the foreman. He has to listen to my advice.”
“Josh doesn’t get a say?”
“He doesn’t want the responsibility. He likes bein’ a cowboy, ridin’ the range, wranglin’. He’d as soon spend his days mendin’ fences and pullin’ calves from arroyos than figurin’ out when to move the herd or send ’em to market.”
She stayed silent for a few minutes, thinking about everything he’d said. “You really think this could work?”
“I know it can. You just have to trust that we’ve got it all worked out among us. That we can truly share. Now sleep, sweetheart. You’re gonna need your rest.”
She smiled softly at that last bit. There was a warning couched in his quiet command. And while her body warmed to his insistence, her mind was shutting down, drifting. Dreaming about three sexy cowboys who loved her. Who wanted her for always.
Why was she fighting them? They made it sound so easy, so inevitable.
For the first time, she let her dreams follow where her heart led. As she fell asleep, Cade’s large capable hands soothing away her stress, she thought maybe she was ready to believe.
As soon as her breathing evened in sleep, Cade pulled away from Chrissi’s warm body. The ache in his groin had to be seen to before he sought out the others. He thought maybe he’d gotten through to her, made her reconsider her stubborn stance, but he wasn’t going to leave anything to chance.
He headed to the bathroom, started the shower and took himself in hand, working his cock in his fist. The rhythmic motions were steady, punctuated by his deepening breaths, while he thought about everything that had happened that day. Especially about how sweetly she’d surrendered in the tub. How lovely she’d been in all her distress. He ached for her, wished he could think of a way to make her acceptance easier, but Chrissi Page was a complicated woman.
She thought she needed control. Thought she needed the trappings of a traditional marriage to feel complete. She hadn’t a clue how wrong she was. How unsuited she was to that kind of life.
Her sensual nature was capable of so much more. Any one man would leave her unsatisfied. She was needier of attention, of physical loving, than any one man could provide.
He’d sensed it all those years ago when Ezra had taken up with her. She’d demurred whenever his big brother had pushed her beyond her natural modesty, but she’d embraced every adventure with her loving, open heart.
His arm tensed, stroking harder. His balls drew up tight against his groin, and he moaned as the first explosion rocked him, sending hot spurts against the tiles. He remembered her face, striped with Josh’s come, the pearly white foam clinging to her cheeks, her eyelashes. She’d been beautiful, wanton. So near to perfect, his chest had frozen.
A soft knock sounded on the door. He let go of his shaft and hung his head for a moment to drag soul-cleansing breaths into his lungs before flipping back the curtain to greet Josh.
Josh’s eyes danced with amusement. “Heard you all the way into the hallway. Don’t know how she slept through that racket.”
Cade gave him a stinging glare, which only widened Josh’s grin. He reached for the towel hanging from the peg beside the shower and wrapped it around his waist. “You try having that ass snuggled up against your dick.”
Josh grunted, then his expression changed, turning sly. “Everything’s ready. The room’s arranged. I tucked a blindfold under the pillow.”
“We’ll let her sleep a while.”
“Ezra thinks we should all catch some shut-eye.”
“Ezra’s not wrong. You wanna keep her company? Can you wake without an alarm?”
“I’m always up with the roosters. You don’t have to stir until I come for you.”
Cade nodded and stepped quietly back into the bedroom. Josh stripped off his jeans and edged under the covers, taking up Cade’s former spot.
Ch
rissi’s breathing didn’t change as Josh pulled her close and tucked his face into the corner of her neck and breathed. “She smells like heaven,” he whispered reverently.
Smiling, Cade tiptoed out of the room. Ezra was finishing up the dishes, a towel draped over his shoulder. He glanced back as Cade walked inside. “She asleep?”
“With Josh. She was out like a light.”
Ezra let the water out of the sink and leaned his butt against the counter. “Tomorrow’s the make or break day. If she’s not ready, she’ll bolt.”
“How much do you love her, Ezra?”
Ezra’s face darkened with anger. “What the fuck kinda question is that?”
“I have to ask. Do you want her for her, or for what you think she’ll bring to our lives?”
“There hasn’t been a day since I first laid eyes on Chrissi that I haven’t wanted her.”
“But do you love her? The real her?”
“What are you gettin’ at?”
“Chrissi’s not all surface. She’s beautiful, sassy. But deep inside she’s not that secure.”
“You think you know her better than me?”
“I’ve spent years watching her. My mind’s not clouded with doin’ a whole hell of a lot. She’s soft at the center. You saw some of that when you pushed and she broke down. We can hurt her. Or if we’re careful, we can bring out her strengths, help her embrace the woman she could be.”
Ezra’s lips twisted. “You been reading too much Cosmo.”
Cade smiled. “Maybe. But I’m right about this, Ezra. Let’s play tomorrow. But let me be the one to call the shots. We both want the same thing. We want her to be ours. No reservations.”
Ezra crossed his arms over his naked chest. “I need a swim.”
“You do that. But then you get some rest. I don’t need you cranky.”
Ezra turned to lean both hands against the counter and stare out the window at the night sky. “You sure we’re doin’ the right thing?”
Breaking Leather: Lone Star Lovers, Book 4 Page 6