“How can he ignore yours?”
Her finger froze like a statue. “I really like Ben. I don’t know how I’ve managed to keep such a wonderful friendship with you and Zoe as I have. I imagine it’s only because you both aren’t men. He’s always trying to find the perfect match for me. They never are. My feelings never matter. I think Ben’s the perfect match. He’ll hate Ben and ruin everything.”
“You’re a grown ass woman, Rina. I know he’s family, but he should know better. You deserve a man who will treat you like you need to be treated. Ben’s worth it.”
Her finger relaxed as she turned her eyes to Dee. “I am a grown ass woman, aren’t I?”
“Hell yeah. Are you gonna start acting like it?” Dee brushed her hair back as she smirked.
“Are you going to get that stick out of your ass and tell me what’s going on?”
Dee raised her eyebrows in shock, then started to laugh. She laughed so hard that tears started to stream down her face. Her laugh became so infectious that Rina began laughing with her. The laughter filled the house, lifting Rina’s heart.
Dee held her hand up, the laughter still coming out. “Give me a minute.” She wiped her eyes from the happy tears and tried wiping the smile from her mouth. It was useless. “I wish Zoe was here.”
“You already said that. I do, too.” Rina wiped her face a little as well, as a few tears had escaped.
“No, I don’t think you understand. I was having a mini pity party. We don’t get together as much since Zoe found Zeke and had Zabrina. I get it. She’s happy. I want that for her. And now…now you have Ben. I’m the lone wolf standing, without a pack anymore. I’m too loud. I’m too harsh to snag a good man. Not that I want one.” Dee rushed the last bit out, then sighed dramatically. “Okay, I want one. Just not a douche. They’re all douches.”
Rina chuckled. “You don’t really believe that. A man really raked you over, didn’t he?”
Dee shrugged and grabbed the pen, squeezing it tightly. “I just don’t want to lose you guys. You’re all I have right now.”
Rina glided her hand toward Dee’s hand that held the pen. “You’ll always have us. I’ll speak for Zoe in that account.”
“I know. I’m over my pity party.” Dee took her hand back, primping her hair again. “I’ll just have to strut my stuff a little harder.”
Rina grinned lightly. “You strut your stuff very well. Perhaps you should strut your stuff in front of Donaho.”
“Eww, no.” Dee rolled her eyes. “Look, don’t let your father screw this up with Ben. If you break it off with him, make sure it’s because that’s what you want.”
“I promise. I will.”
Rina kept that promise, meant it with all her heart, until later that night when her father stopped by her house unannounced. Her courage wavered as he spoke to her about Ben and how she needed to stop seeing him. Telling her how rude Ben acted.
Stress overwhelmed her. She couldn’t stop her eyes trailing to the few things scattered around her house. Her coat she slung across the back of one of the dining room table chairs. Or the two cups left on the counter from having a drink with Dee. Even the book just resting on her coffee table. Little things that would have no impact on most people. To her father, it was a clutter, a mess uncalled for.
Then, his words started to penetrate through that stress. Ben acted rude to her father. When in the world did her father see Ben?
“Did you hear me, Rina? You’ll join me at the country club on Sunday. You’ll apologize profusely to Anthony for your behavior. I will not tolerate this nonsense.”
“Where did you see Ben? How do you even know about him?” Rina said everything with a soft tone, almost as if she whispered the words. She saw the small shock in her father’s eyes that she didn’t readily agree to his demands, that she had the audacity to question him, on anything.
“It doesn’t matter. What matters is he has no manners.”
Rina took a step back, distancing herself, in more than just physical space. She knew the moment her feet moved that she was distancing herself emotionally from her father. “It matters to me. What did you do?”
“Honestly, Rina, your attitude is ridiculous. Accusing me of doing something. I am your father.”
“Yes, you should respect what I do. Not constantly question it. I’m an adult. I’m thirty years old. I can take care of myself. When did you see Ben?”
“I will see you at the country club on—”
“No,” Rina said with quiet confidence, cutting off her father’s words.
His look would’ve told others that she screamed at the top of her lungs. “Excuse me?”
“I have plans on Sunday. I told Anthony that. I also told him there wouldn’t be a second date and I meant it. I’m seeing Ben. Don’t tell me where and when you spoke to him. It doesn’t matter, you’re right. It’s not going to change my mind. He’s a wonderful man who treats me as I should be treated. I won’t let you ruin this like you have every other relationship I’ve ever tried to have.”
“This is why this man is horrible for you. Look at the way you’re speaking to me. I am your father.”
“Then start acting like you are. Because all I see is a man trying to control somebody into doing something they don’t want to do.”
“Clearly, you’re not feeling well right now. I’ll call you in the morning.”
Her father left her standing in the middle of the living room. He didn’t say another word.
What happened? She expected more berating, more spewing of words to change her mind. There had been no mistaking the surprise in his eyes, the awe in her outspoken words. She never spoke to her father like that because she never had the courage to do so.
The moment her mother died, when she was four years old, her father changed from a wonderful, loving man to a hard, difficult one. Knowing he was in pain, she tried to make his life easier by being the dutiful daughter. Never disobeying. Never falling into trouble. Never living her life like she wanted.
As time went on, she slowly started to do her own thing. Within reason. She still tried not to do anything that would upset him. Not until she felt threatened for the first time in her life. She finally found a man she wanted with everything in her heart and her father wanted to take that away.
She promised Dee she wouldn’t let Ben go unless that’s what she wanted. Well, she didn’t want that. She felt liberated and a small amount of peace absorb into her veins for finally standing her ground against her father. Sadness and heartache slowly melded into one as well.
She perfected holding in her emotions, learning it all from her father. Today was the first day they both let their emotions slip. She saw the hurt in her father’s eyes. She didn’t want that. She just wanted him to be happy for her, to be proud of her, to support her for once in his life. Would she ever get that? Probably not.
After what felt like hours, when in reality mere minutes went by, she finally turned toward her bedroom. She stood there for so long contemplating everything that happened in those brief minutes, she realized he hadn’t been in her home long.
Long enough to criticize, to make her feel small. Long enough to change the dynamics of their relationship. Long enough to know Ben held her heart in his hands.
She changed into pajamas, a light shirt and a pair of shorts, and curled under the sheets. She figured her father had to have approached Ben somehow. His house, maybe. What did Ben think now? Her father probably didn’t say anything nice. He was so spirited and determined last night to make a relationship work between them. Did he still feel the same way? Not one man ever did after dealing with her father. Should she call Ben?
Bolting upright, her stomach dropped to the floor. She should call him. Learning the truth would be better than sulking about it until tomorrow.
Sinking back under the covers, she yanked the covers to her chin. Calling would be very bad. Hearing the rejection over the phone would probably break her heart. Even hearing it tomorrow, perha
ps in person, would shatter her to pieces. Sulking was the way to go. Ignorance, while foolish, didn’t make her feel like her entire world was ending. Pretending. That’s all she had to do. Pretend it was all okay.
The courage to drive to his house a few nights ago was about the extent of bravery she had anyway. She had been so angry that he told Zeke she turned him down. She expected it to come out much sooner. When it didn’t, she just assumed it would to stay between them. She didn’t want everyone else to know how weak and pathetic she had acted.
They knew now.
Yet, she didn’t get the impression anyone thought of her as weak. Just her father.
She tried to close her eyes and fall asleep. Her rebellious mind wouldn’t let her. Images kept swirling around. Images that made it all seem like everything was okay. Ben’s gorgeous smile. The way his face lit up with delight when she finally said yes to his question. His sweet voice. The tender words he delivered that he would fight for her. A desperate knock.
Wait, what?
Bolting upright again, she listened intently.
Someone was knocking at her door. At eleven o’clock at night. Who would be at her house so late?
Her father would never come back, especially this late. Ben—well, she didn’t want to think about what he really thought about her anymore. It couldn’t be anything good. No man could ever stand the brutal look and words from her father.
That left Dee. She must still be in her funk, which was quite unusual for her. She never displayed that type of insecurity and loneliness like she did tonight. It had been a very welcome surprise.
She could use another girl heart-to-heart. She threw the covers to the side, happy that Dee came back. Without grabbing her robe or tossing on her slippers, she shuffled quickly to the front door and whipped it open.
Ben stood in the doorway. He didn’t look happy. So much for delaying the heartache.
“Hi, Ben.” Her voice sounded shaky even to her. Not a good time to sound so insecure.
“Can I come in?”
Nodding, she stepped aside. He walked past her without a word, the anger still prominent on his face. She took her time closing the door. Pretending again. That’s all she had to do. Just pretend that she didn’t see such anger from him.
“Rina?”
Turning around, unable to pretend further when he said her name, she almost stumbled by the heat in his eyes. Not the good kind either. He was still upset.
“I’m sorry.”
“What the hell for?” He ran a hand through his hair.
“For my father. I know you’re mad. If you’re here because you want nothing to do with me, I understand.” Rina whispered it so quietly, she wasn’t sure he heard her. She couldn’t even look him in the eye.
A warm hand touched her cheek, gently lifting her chin. “I’m not mad about your father.”
“But you’re mad?”
He brought his other hand to cup her face, tenderly rubbing her skin with light caresses. He held her gaze, then kissed her lightly before dropping his hands.
“I’m a little mad. Didn’t you lock your front door? You opened it so fast I didn’t hear a lock disengage.”
What? Why was he concerned about her front door? “I…maybe forgot to lock it.”
Ben brushed his eyes up and down her body, cringing. “You look like you were in bed. Damn it, Rina, were you in bed?”
“Yes.”
“And you didn’t lock your front door?” He pointed at the front door, the anger clear in his voice.
“Why are you yelling at me about my door? Yell at me about my father. I don’t understand.”
“I don’t give a damn about your father. I give a damn about you,” he said right before he pulled her into his arms and kissed her fiercely.
***
He held her tightly as he demanded her mouth to open, her body to submit to his delicious assault. She did exactly what he wanted. She melted into his hard frame, clinging to him as he kissed her with all his pent-up passion that he held inside for almost an entire year. He glided his tongue everywhere, imprinting his taste so she would never forget. His hands went from grasping her cheeks, to running through her hair, to stroking her back, to cupping her ass, where he pulled her into his body to let her feel the way he felt. To show her what he wanted, almost needed with a deep pain.
He hadn’t realized he moved her against the door until he heard a soft moan escape from her lips. He instantly backed away.
“Don’t ever do that again.”
“Don’t do what again? I’m so confused, Ben. What did I do wrong?”
A rough breath escaped. Keep calm. Frightening her was the last thing he wanted to do. He grabbed her hands, kissing each one lightly before bringing them back down with a tight grip.
“Rina, you went to bed. You didn’t lock your door. I get this feeling you didn’t even look through the peephole before you opened the door. There is a lunatic out there killing women…women that look…lock your door, please. Just, please, lock your door at all times.”
“I just forgot. So much happened tonight. It’ll never happen again.”
Damn these cases. He couldn’t tell her, though. His fear was enough to handle. There was no way he could handle hers as well. One issue at a time.
“I don’t even want to think about your door being unlocked again. Please, Rina, please, don’t forget.” He squeezed her hands so tightly he knew she felt his fear.
He pulled her away from the door and walked to her couch. Without waiting or thinking about it, almost as natural as breathing, he sat down and pulled her onto his lap. “Now, I guess we should talk about your dad.”
“What did he do?” She stared at their hands linked together.
“Look at me.”
Rina took her time raising her eyes.
“He stopped by my house. He—”
“I am so sorry.” She tried to get off his lap.
Gently, but firmly, he wrapped his arms tightly around her and inhaled the sweet scent of vanilla, that anytime he smelled it, he thought of her. He kissed the top of her head, then cradled her head against his chest.
“I love holding you. You fit perfectly in my arms. I love your sweetness, your kindness. Hell, I even love when you talk in that soft, calm voice when you’re mad. Do you get what I’m saying?” he whispered, hoping she understood what he was trying to say without actually saying the words by themselves.
“You should just tell me what my father said,” she whispered back, clutching his shirt into a crumbled mess.
“He made it clear he doesn’t want me dating you. He’s your father and I will try to show him respect. I’ll struggle with that, especially when he treats you the way he does. But for you, I’ll try.” He tightened his arms as he kissed her hair again, inhaling a bit of her essence as well. “He can say whatever he likes, but nothing will ever change my mind. I want to be with you.”
“Maybe I’m not worth it. He’s relentless.”
Ben reached for her hands clutching his chest, slowly disengaging her fingers entwined in his shirt. He folded his fingers within hers, bringing their hands back to his chest.
“You’re worth any fight in this world. I only want you to be happy. I would hate it if this caused you pain. It obviously already has.”
“I try so hard to make him happy and nothing ever really does. I haven’t seen him truly happy since my mother was alive. She died when I was four.” She glanced down, sighing. “It feels good in your arms. I want to be with you, Ben.”
“I’m sorry about your mother. Anytime you need to talk, I’m here. I hope he’ll come to understand that I just want to make you happy.”
“Don’t hold your breath. He’ll never understand.” She rubbed her thumb over the top of his hand. “Thanks for coming over. My father stopped by earlier. I was worried he might’ve changed your mind.”
“I couldn’t decide whether it was a good thing to come over. I’m sorry it’s so late. Although, not that so
rry. I love holding you like this.”
“Me, too.”
They sat in silence for a while. No words were needed. Ben couldn’t get enough of her in his arms. Damn the time. Leaving sounded like the worst idea ever, but inevitable. He couldn’t rush her. At the moment, his body vehemently disagreed with that idea.
Her body started to relax. Too relaxed. Her head drifted down his chest. “Rina?” he whispered, even knowing she fell asleep.
He shifted her body enough to where he could stand up at the same time he held her cradled to his body. Venturing down the hallway, he figured out which room was her bedroom and gently put her down. The thought of leaving ripped him to shreds. The covers looked inviting, half rolled up her body. He should cover her a little more. The picture in front of him was very enticing. He couldn’t just crawl in the bed no matter how much he wanted to, ached to.
The front door. He couldn’t leave without the deadbolt being flipped. Such a dilemma. He sat down on the edge of the bed, brushing a warm hand down her cheek. His beautiful Rina. Never in a million years did he think he would be able call her his. Now he could.
One kiss. Just one and he would think of how to get the damn door locked without waking her. Although, he should say goodbye. Or not at all, just crawl into bed with her. He liked that option the best.
Leaning down, his lips brushed her cheek. All options flew out of his hands when she turned toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“I fell asleep. Sorry,” she whispered sleepily.
“It’s late. My fault. You need to lock the door behind me, even though I know you’re very comfortable.”
“Lock the door for me.” She scooted closer, pressing her head against his chest.
“I can’t get the deadbolt unless you give me a key.” His heart beat a little faster at the thought. Would she really give him a key?
She wrapped her arms tighter around him. “No…”
“Well, then, you have to get out of this comfy bed and lock the door behind me.” She could still manage to break his heart with her words.
She sat up, looking him straight in the eye. “I didn’t mean lock the door for me on your way out. I meant…lock it and come join me in bed.”
One Taste of Love (A One Taste Novel Book 2) Page 8