by Jean M. Auel
Ayla smiled. "Baby talk," she said.
"You mean, when I was talking to Guban, I was talking baby talk?" Jondalar said, appalled.
"Even less than that, to be honest, but he understood. Just the fact that you knew something, that you tried to speak the correct way, impressed him," Ayla said.
"The correct way? Guban thought his way was the correct way to talk?" Jondalar said.
"Of course. Don't you?"
"I suppose so," he said, then smiled. "What do you think is the correct way?"
"The correct way is always whatever way you're used to. Right now, the Clan way, Mamutoi, and Zelandonii are all correct, but after a while, when all I have spoken is Zelandonii for a long time, I will no doubt think that is the correct way, even if I don't speak it correctly, and I probably never will. The only one I will ever know perfectly is the Clan language, but only of the clan I grew up with, and that's not quite the same as the way they do it around here," Ayla said.
As they reached the small stream, Ayla noticed the sun was going down and was caught up again by a glorious blaze of color in the sky. They both stopped to watch for a while.
"Zelandoni asked me if I wanted to be chosen for First Rites tomorrow, probably for Janida," Jondalar said.
"She told you that?" Ayla said. "Marthona said the men are never told who they will be with, and they are never supposed to tell."
"She didn't exactly tell me. She said she wanted someone who would be not only discreet, but caring. She said she knew you were pregnant, and she thought I would know how to treat someone who might need the same kind of concern. Who else could it be?" he said.
"Are you going to do it?" Ayla said.
"I thought about it. There was a time when I would have been more than willing, eager, but I said I didn't think so," he said.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because of you," he said.
"Me? Did you think I would object?"
"Would you?"
"I understand it is a custom of your people, and other men who are mated do it," Ayla said.
"And you'd agree to it, whether you liked it or not, wouldn't you?
"I suppose," she said.
"The reason I declined wasn't because I thought you would object, although I probably wouldn't like it if you decided to become a donii-woman for a season. It's because I don't think I could give her the attention she deserves. I'd be thinking about you, comparing her to you, and that would be unfair to her. I've always had more size than many, and I'd be withholding and trying to be careful and gentle, so I wouldn't hurt her, and wishing all the time I was with you instead," he said. "I don't mind being caring and gentle, but we fit together. I don't have to worry about hurting you, at least not now. As you get further along, I don't know, but we can work something out then."
She hadn't realized how pleased she would be that he had refused. She had heard how attractive most men found those young women, and she wondered if she was feeling jealous. She didn't want to be, she had heard what Zelandoni said at the women's meeting, and she would not have objected if he had accepted the offer, but she was happy that he had not. Ayla couldn't help but smile, a big radiant smile that almost matched the sunset, which gave Jondalar a warm glow.
All the couples who were to be mated met with the zelandonia the day following the Rites of First Pleasures ceremony. Most were young, but some were middle-aged, and a few were quite old, well over fifty years. Regardless of age, they were excited and looking forward to the event, and most were friendly to each other, the start of the special bond between people who were mated at the same Mating Ceremonial. Many lifelong friendships were established then.
Ayla left Wolf with Marthona, who said she would be willing to stay with him, though Ayla had to tie him down with a restraining rope to keep him from following her. Before she left, she noticed that Marthona was indeed a calming influence and he seemed more relaxed when she was with him.
When they arrived at the zelandonia lodge, Ayla saw Levela and a man she had not met. Levela waved them over and introduced everyone to Jondecam, a man of medium height with a red beard, a pleasant smile, and mischievous eyes.
"So you're from Elder Hearth," Jondalar said. "Kimeran and I are old friends. We got our manhood belts together. I saw him during the bison hunt. I didn't realize he had become the leader of the Second Cave."
"He's my uncle, my mother's younger brother," Jondecam said.
"Uncle? You seem closer to age-mates," Ayla said.
"He's only a few years older than I am, more like an older brother. My mother was about the age of a girl during First Rites when her brother was born," Jondecam said. "She was always like a second mother to him, even then. When his mother, my grandmother, died, my mother took care of him. She was pretty young when she mated, but her mate died early. I'm her firstborn, and I have a younger sister, but I hardly remember the man of my hearth. She was called to the zelandonia, and didn't mate again."
"I remember embarrassing myself," Jondalar said. "I saw Kimeran's mother and made some typical comment about the young attractive woman standing with the mothers, and wondering what baby was completing his manhood rites," he smiled. "You can imagine how I felt when he said she was there for him. He was as big as I was! Then he told me she was actually his sister."
After they had been there for a while and it appeared that the zelandonia were getting ready to begin, two more people arrived, the youngsters Janida and Peridal. The couple stood at the entrance looking nervous and a little scared, and for a moment seemed ready to bolt. Suddenly Levela left the group and walked quickly toward them.
"Greetings, I am Levela of the West Holding of the Twenty-ninth Cave. You are Janida and Peridal, aren't you? I think I met you, Janida, when you came to harvest pine nuts at Summer Camp a year or two ago. I'm with Ayla and Jondalar. She's the one with the animals, and he's the brother of my sister's mate. Come and meet them," she said, and started leading them back. They seemed at a loss for words.
"Sheis Proleva's sister, isn't she?" Joplaya said quietly.
"Yes, I can see Proleva welcoming someone like that," Ayla said.
"Joplaya and Echozar are here, too, they're the Lanzadonii couple who came to be mated with us," Levela was saying as they approached. "And here's my Promised. Jondecam of the Second Cave of the Zelandonii, meet Janida and Peridal, both of the South Holding of the Twenty-ninth Cave." Looking at the young couple, "That's right, isn't it?"
"Yes," Janida said, smiling nervously and frowning worriedly at the same time.
Jondecam held out his hands to Peridal. "Greetings," he said with a broad smile.
"Greetings," Peridal responded, taking his hands, though his grip was rather limp and he didn't seem to know what else to say.
"Greetings, Peridal," Jondalar said in turn, also holding out his hands. "Did I see you at the hunt?"
"I was there," the young man said. "I saw you… on a horse."
"Yes, and Ayla, too, I imagine."
Peridal looked uncomfortable and at a loss for words.
"Did you have much luck?" Jondecam asked.
"Yes," Peridal said.
"He killed two cows," Janida said for him, "and one had a calf inside."
"Did you know the skin of that calf will make wonderful baby clothes?" Levela said. "It's so fine and soft."
"That's what my mother said," Janida replied.
"We haven't met," Ayla said. She held out both hands. "I am Ayla, formerly of the Lion Camp of the Mamutoi, but now of the Ninth Cave of the Zelandonii. In the name of the Great Earth Mother, Mut, also known as Doni, I greet you."
Janida was a little shocked. She had never heard anyone speak so differently. There was a rather uncomfortable silence for a moment. Then, as though remembering her manners, she said, "I am Janida of the South Holding of the Twenty-ninth Cave of the Zelandonii. In the name of Doni, I greet you, Ayla of the Ninth Cave of the Zelandonii."
Joplaya then stepped forward and held out her hands to th
e young woman. "I am Joplaya of the First Cave of the Lanzadonii, Daughter of the hearth of Dalanar, Founder and Leader of the Lanzadonii. In the name of the Great Mother, I greet you, Janida. This is my Promised, Echozar of the First Cave of the Lanzadonii."
Janida looked directly at the couple, her mouth literally hanging open as she stared. She was not the first to look surprised, but she seemed less able to control it than most. Then, as though she suddenly realized what she was doing, she closed her mouth and flushed deep red.
"I'm… I am sorry. My mother would be so angry if she knew how rude I was, but I couldn't help it. You both look so different, but you are beautiful and he is… not," she said, then flushed again. "I'm sorry. I mean… I didn't mean that… I just…"
"What you mean is she's so beautiful, and he's so ugly," Jondecam said with a twinkle in his eye. He looked at them both and grinned. "It is true, isn't it?" There was a moment of awkward silence, then Echozar spoke.
"You are right, Jondecam. I am ugly. I can't imagine why this beautiful woman would want me, but I'm not going to question my luck," Echozar said, then he smiled, and it lit his eyes.
Seeing a smile on a Clan face always startled Ayla. People of the Clan didn't smile. To them an expression that bared the teeth was seen as a threat or a nervous display of subservience. But somehow the expression changed the configuration of Echozar's face, eased the strong Clan features and made him seem much more approachable.
"Actually, I'm glad you're here, Echozar," Jondecam said. "Next to this big brute," he pointed to Jondalar, "everyone looks bad, but you make me and this youngster look good! The women, on the other hand, are all beautiful."
Jondecam was so ingenuous, he made everyone smile and relax. Levela looked at him with love in her eyes. "Why, thank you, Jondecam," she said. "You have to admit, though, that Echozar's eyes are as unusual as Jondalar's, and no less striking. I have never seen such beautiful dark eyes, and the way he looks at Joplaya makes me understand why they are mating. If he looked at me that way, it would be hard to turn him down."
"I like the way Echozar looks," Ayla said, "but yes, his eyes are his best feature."
"If we're all going to say what we think, and get it out in the open," Jondecam said, "you have an unusual way of speaking, Ayla. It takes a little getting used to, but I like it. It makes people take notice and listen. You must come from very far away, though."
"Farther away than you can imagine," Jondalar said.
"And I want to ask one more thing," Jondecam added. "Where is that wolf? Other people have talked about meeting him, and I was hoping to meet him."
Ayla smiled at the man. He was so straightforward and honest, she couldn't help but like him, and so relaxed and comfortable with himself, he made everyone else feel the same way. "Wolf is with Marthona. I thought it might be easier on him and everyone else if he stayed away. But if you stop by the Ninth Cave's camp, I'll be happy to introduce him to you, and I have a feeling he will like you, too," she said. "All of you are welcome," she said, looking at everyone, including the young couple, who were actually smiling in a natural and relaxed way.
"Yes, by all means," Jondalar added. He liked these couples that they had met, but particularly Levela, who was an outgoing and caring young woman, and Jondecam, who reminded him of his brother Thonolan.
They noticed that the First was standing in the center of the lodge, silently waiting for everyone's attention. When she had it, she spoke to them all, telling them of the seriousness of the commitment they were making, repeating some of the things she had said to the women earlier, and giving them some instructions on what was expected of them at the Matrimonial. Then some of the other zelandonia told them where they were supposed to stand and explained where to walk and what to say. They went through a rehearsal of the steps and movements.
Before they left, the First spoke to them again. "Most of you know this, but I want to say it now so it is clear. After the Matrimonial, for a period of half of a moon's cycle – approximately fourteen days using the counting words – the newly mated couples are not allowed to speak to anyone except each other. Only in the case of dire emergency are you to communicate with anyone else, and then only to a donier, who will decide if it was important enough to break the ban. I want you to understand why this is done. It is a way of forcing a couple together to see if they can really live with each other. At the end of the time, if they decide that their mating is incompatible, any couple can decide to break the tie with no consequences. It would be as if they had never mated."
The Zelandoni Who Was First knew most of the couples looked forward to the ban, delighted with the idea of spending time together totally involved with only each other. But at the end, she knew, there would likely be one or two couples who would quietly decide to go their separate ways. She looked carefully at each person trying to judge which couples might last. She was also trying to assess which of the couples would not last even fourteen days. Then she wished them all well and told them the Matrimonial would be the following evening.
Ayla and Jondalar were not concerned that their time alone would prove their union incompatible. They had already spent the better part of a year with only each other for company, except for the brief stops at a few Caves along the route of their Journey. They both looked forward to their period of forced intimacy, especially since there would be no pressures to keep traveling.
After leaving the lodge, the four couples walked together toward their camps. Janida and Peridal turned off first. Before they left, Janida held out both hands to Levela. "I want to thank you," she said, "for including us and making us welcome. When we walked in, it felt like everybody was staring at us, and I didn't know what to do. But I noticed when we left, that people were looking at Joplaya and Echozar, and Ayla and Jondalar, and even you and Jondecam. Maybe everyone was staring at everyone else, but you were the one who made me feel a part of something, not separate and outside of it." She leaned forward and brushed Levela's cheek with hers.
"Janida is an intelligent young woman," Jondalar said after they continued on. "Peridal is lucky to get her, and I hope he appreciates her."
"There does seem to be some real affection between them," Levela said. "I wonder why he was resisting the mating?"
"I would guess the resistance was more from his mother than from him," Jondecam said.
"I think you are right," Ayla said. "Peridal is very young. His mother still has a lot of influence on him. But so is Janida. How many years can each of them count?"
"I think both can count thirteen years. She just barely, he is some moons older, closer to a fourteen-year," Levela said.
"I am an old man next to him," Jondalar said. "I can count a double handful more, twenty-three years. Peridal hasn't even had a chance to live in a fa'lodge yet."
"And I am an old woman," Ayla said. "I can count nineteen years."
"That's not so old, Ayla. I can count twenty years," Joplaya said. "What about you, Echozar?" Jondecam said. "How many years can you count?"
"I have no idea," he said. "No one ever told me, or even kept track, as far as I know."
"Have you ever tried to think back and remember each year?" Levela asked.
"I have a good memory, but childhood to me is a blur, each season just fading into the next," Echozar said.
"I can count seventeen years," Levela said.
"I'm a twenty-year," Jondecam volunteered. "And here's our camp. We will see you tomorrow." They waved farewell with the beckoning come-back-to-see-us-again motion to the four who continued toward the combined camp of Zelandonii and Lanzadonii.
Ayla woke early on the day she and Jondalar were to be mated. The faint light that preceded the rising sun glimmered feebly through the cracks between the nearly opaque panels of the lodge, highlighting the seams and outlining the opening. She lay still, trying to distinguish details in the shadowy shapes silhouetted against the walls.
She could hear Jondalar's regular breathing. She raised up quietly and looked
at the face of the man sleeping beside her in the dim light. The fine straight nose, the square jaw, the high forehead. She remembered the first time she had studied his face while he slept, in the cave of her valley. He was the first man of her own kind she had seen, that she could recall, and he had been badly wounded. She didn't know if he would live, but she thought then that he was beautiful.
She thought so still, although she had learned since that men were not usually called beautiful. Her love for the man swelled to fill her whole being. It was almost more than she could bear, almost painful, excruciatingly full, wonderfully warm. She could hardly contain herself. She got up quietly, dressed quickly, and slipped outside.
She looked out over the camp. From the slightly higher elevation of their campsite she could see The River Valley spread out before her. In the near darkness, the lodges appeared as black mounds rising out of the shadowy earth, each round structure with its center pole supporting the multidwelling units. The camp was still now, so different from the bustling, noisy, boisterous place it would be later.
Ayla turned toward the small creek and followed it upstream. It was growing perceptibly lighter, blotting out more of the twinkling sparks in the sky. The horses in their fenced-in enclosure noticed her approach and nickered softly in greeting. She veered toward them, ducking under the poles strung between posts that defined their area. She put her arm around the hay-colored mare's neck.
"Today is the day Jondalar and I will be mated, Whinney. It seems so long ago that you brought him bleeding and almost dead to the cave. We've come such a long way since then. We'll never see that valley again," Ayla said to the horse.
Racer nudged her, wanting his share of attention. Ayla patted him, then hugged the strong, thick neck of the brown stallion. Wolf appeared from out of the woods, returning from his nightly hunting foray. He loped toward the young woman surrounded by the horses.
"There you are, Wolf," she said. "Where have you been? You were gone this morning." She caught a blur of movement among the trees out of the corner of her eye. She looked up just in time to see a second wolf, a dark one, dodge behind the thick underbrush. She bent over and cupped Wolf's head between both her hands, massaging his furry jowls. "Have you found yourself a mate, or a friend?" she said. "Do you want to go back to the wild like Baby did? I would miss you, but I wouldn't want to keep you from a mate of your own." The wolf growled softly in contentment as Ayla continued rubbing him. He seemed to have no inclination at the moment to return to the shadowy figure in the woods.