“I appreciate that sentiment more than I can say.” Regan considered asking Nick to voice his sentiments to Lily, but then Nick would know things weren’t great between them, and Regan wasn’t ready to let that be public knowledge...yet.
“Want me to go with you?”
“No, but thanks for the offer. It means a lot.”
“Just don’t do anything stupid and slug him. Or if you do, make it look like an accident.”
Regan was still laughing about that when the last of the Chance vehicles left Peaceful Kingdom. He wouldn’t mind telling Lily how Nick had responded to the news of Drake’s sudden appearance. But that wouldn’t be very mature of him, and besides, he didn’t want to stir up trouble between those two friends over something that was his job to handle.
Lily had gone into the house to put away the bowls they’d used at the kids’ craft table, and he considered whether it was time to lock the front gate. Then he noticed a truck and horse trailer coming down the road. All five horses had been picked up, but he hadn’t kept track of everything going on. Maybe a sixth horse had been adopted and he hadn’t heard about it. That would be great.
He headed over to find out, but the driver climbed out of the cab and made for the porch before he could get there. The guy knocked on the door and Lily let him in. Although Regan was curious, he knew that she didn’t need him to come barging in as if he didn’t think she could handle the situation.
Instead, he headed to the barn, where he knew there were chores waiting. Feeding time was coming up, and plenty of people had been in and out of the barn today. A few things would likely be out of place. Stall doors that should be open might be closed. Little stuff, but it could make feeding take longer.
Nick’s support with the Drake issue had improved his mood considerably. He shouldn’t be too hard on Lily for thinking the way she did. That was her nature, and her generosity of spirit was something he appreciated about her. He’d benefited from that every time they’d made love.
Sleeping down the hall the night before had been a miserable experience he didn’t want to repeat. So maybe they could agree to disagree about Drake and move on. Regan planned to pay Drake a visit tomorrow and talk him into leaving. The jerk had ruined one relationship for Regan, and damned if he was going to ruin another one by hanging around and providing a bone of contention between Regan and Lily.
Regan had just coiled a rope and hung it up when Lily came through the barn door leading a horse Regan had never seen before. He nudged back his hat in surprise. “Hello. Who’s this?”
She stood holding the horse, which had a sorry-looking mane and tail and a dull, butterscotch-and-white coat. “His name is Taffy.” She sounded defensive.
Regan had a sinking sensation that Lily had just accepted another horse mere hours after they’d cleared out five. They’d agreed that she wouldn’t take in any more horses until she had an empty stall. “So what’s Taffy doing here?”
She met his gaze, and defiance flashed in her blue eyes. “He has nowhere else to go.”
He didn’t doubt the guy who’d brought Taffy had said that. Whether it was true or not, Lily had clearly decided she was the only thing standing between Taffy and some horrible fate. He understood the impulse. But she had to get over it if she ever expected to make Peaceful Kingdom work the way it should.
Taking a deep breath, he chose his words carefully. “Is the owner still here?”
“No. And he lives in Montana, so if you’re thinking he’ll come back for Taffy, he won’t.”
“He brought this horse from Montana?”
“Yes.”
Regan groaned. “Lily, your reputation for taking in horses is spreading fast. Out of the state, even. You can’t keep doing this.”
She swallowed. “I know. But I can’t help it. So I have a big favor to ask of you. A huge favor. Would you live here until I can find a buyer to take over?”
“You mean live here with you? I’m already doing that.”
She shook her head. “Not live here with me. I can’t run this place. I might as well admit it and give up.” Her voice trembled. “I realized when I was walking over here with Taffy that I’ve failed. I can’t say no.”
“You can. I know you can! Don’t leave, Lily. These animals need you.” I need you.
“And I’m going to let them down by taking in more! You can see that, right? This horse came all the way from Montana, and I took him.”
“Because you weren’t mentally prepared to say no. Think about all the other visualization techniques we’ve worked on together. You have to visualize the animals you have, and the space they need, and picture yourself saying no for the benefit of those already in your care.”
She shook her head. “This isn’t what I’m good at, Regan. I need to go back to Silicon Valley and design computer games.”
“Don’t say that.” He felt sick to his stomach.
“I am saying it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll take Taffy down to his stall. I’m putting him in with Sandy.”
Stepping aside, he let her go by. He couldn’t allow this terrible thing to happen, but he didn’t know how to stop it. She didn’t believe she could train herself to say no.
* * *
ONCE AGAIN, Lily spent the night alone in her bed. She and Regan had worked side by side handling the chores without talking. They both knew the routine and didn’t need to talk, but the silence was nonetheless excruciating. Now they seemed to have nothing to say to each other.
How quickly everything had fallen apart. But the seeds of the destruction had been there all along. She couldn’t be happy with a man who insisted on keeping his anger walled up inside and wouldn’t take a golden opportunity to deal with the issue. His stubborn attitude regarding Drake could turn into a deal breaker for her.
Yet she’d been hopeful that he might change his mind and talk with his former friend. Maybe he just needed time to work up to it. But time had run out for her and Regan, because when faced with her first test of her new resolve to turn away a needy animal, she’d failed. She didn’t belong here.
After tossing and turning all night, she managed to oversleep for the first time since she’d moved in. That just proved that she wasn’t up to the job. Leaping out of bed, she threw on her clothes and barreled into the kitchen. The smell of coffee should have alerted her to the fact Regan was up, but she’d been too distracted to notice.
The coffeepot was turned off, but a thermos carafe that she kept handy for keeping her coffee warm was sitting on the counter next to a note.
Lily—
The critters are fed. I have an errand to run. See you in a few hours.
Regan
She tried to imagine what errand he’d have on a Sunday that would take a few hours, and then she remembered Drake. Regan had gone to see his former best friend to get him to leave Jackson Hole. Now that was depressing. She’d wanted them to talk, but not so they could widen the gulf between them.
Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she walked through the empty living room and down the hall past Regan’s bedroom. She glanced in, and saw that he’d made his bed. It was a small thing, but it touched her that he was considerate enough to leave the room looking neat.
The third bedroom served as what she laughingly called an office. It contained her computer, a table and chair, and some cheap shelves for her books. When she moved out of this house, she’d be able to pack everything in half a day or less, which was typical for her.
While she waited for the computer to boot up, she thought about the email she was about to send expressing interest in the game-designing job. And she’d confirm that yes, she’d be willing to move back to Silicon Valley and work at the company’s headquarters. She imagined the thrill of trading ideas with fellow gaming nerds. The game she’d written had been a solo effort with some consultation f
rom Al, but it might be fun to brainstorm with others while she created more games.
It pretty much had to be fun because that was the option open to her. She sent the email and decided not to think about it any more today. Her next step involved contacting Morgan Chance, who was a real estate broker.
Yeah, well, she could do that later on. No rush. The process of selling this place would take a while. She was fairly sure Regan would agree to stay on until Morgan found a buyer. He’d handle Peaceful Kingdom so much better than she had. Maybe he’d consider buying it himself. That would be perfect.
Okay, maybe not perfect. Perfection was eluding her every time she reached for it. Fitting, then. It would be fitting if Regan bought this place. Whoever bought it would have to be tougher than she was. Maybe she should leave the person a list of other horse rescue organizations within driving distance.
An online search turned up a few, so she printed out a list. The new owner would have options to give anyone who came to the front gate. That would help ease the pain. She wasn’t sure why she’d never thought of it. She’d been too busy getting ready for the adoption fair and making love to Regan, apparently.
Hunger finally drove her back to the kitchen. On her way through the living room, she looked out the front window and saw a truck pull up to the gate, which Regan would have locked behind him. Sure enough, the truck was hauling a horse trailer. She sincerely doubted the trailer was empty.
A stocky man got out of the driver’s side and rattled the gate to see if it was locked. What if it hadn’t been? Would he have driven in, unloaded his horse and left? Lily had experienced that once, and she’d felt sorry for a horse that had been unceremoniously dumped.
Something occurred to her that never had before. People were arriving without calling first. Her number was online, so they wouldn’t have to go to a whole lot of trouble to get it. That would be the respectful way to handle the situation. So far, no one had done that. They’d simply shown up without checking to see if she had space.
As she thought about that, the Irish temper she’d inherited along with her red hair flared and began a slow burn. People had been taking advantage of her good nature. By allowing them to take advantage, she was imposing restrictions on the sweet animals she’d already accepted. She didn’t have an animal problem. She had a people problem. She couldn’t control how others behaved, but she could control her reaction to their behavior.
Returning to her office, she snatched up the list she’d printed and marched back through the living room and out the front door. The man was dressed like an average cowboy, but Lily had a high opinion of that label and she refused to assign it to this guy. He wanted to dump a horse without asking first. He was no cowboy.
She walked over to the gate. “Can I help you?”
“Yeah, I was told I could leave this horse with you. I wasn’t sure how to get in. Good thing you came out.”
“Who told you that you could leave a horse here?”
He waved a hand. “I dunno. Some guy I met in a coffee shop in Jackson. So, can you open the gate? I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Sorry, but I’m not opening the gate.” She could hardly believe those words had come out of her mouth, but she was in a mood.
“How am I gonna get this horse inside?”
“You’re not. I’m at capacity and can’t accept any more horses.”
“He’s a good horse.”
She steeled herself against thinking about the animal in the trailer. “I’m sure he is. But because I’m full, I can’t take him.” She rolled the list up and handed it over the gate. “You’ll find several other options there.”
He made an impatient noise low in his throat. “I don’t want to go chasing all over the countryside.”
She spared one moment of anguish for the horse stuck with such a subpar human being. But as Regan had suggested, she thought of the animals she already had in her care. They didn’t deserve to be crowded because some idiot like this man showed up with another horse.
“So you really won’t take him?” The guy seemed very disgusted.
“No.” She stood there a moment and savored the sound of that word. “No, I won’t.” Then she turned and started back to the house.
But instead of going there, she found herself walking around the building and out to the new paddock. She counted, and all seventeen were there, including Taffy. Regan must have herded them in after he’d fed them breakfast.
She’d watched him do it several times before. Grabbing a fistful of mane, he’d vault onto whichever horse was handy. Then he’d ride bareback and use a coiled rope to direct the herd into the enclosure. He’d been poetry in motion. Suddenly she missed him with a deep, visceral ache. She wanted him to come home. She wanted to tell him that against all odds, she’d learned how to say no.
17
REGAN PARKED IN FRONT of the little log cabin. He’d had to take a dirt road to get there, but the place sat all by itself in a clearing, so it had been simple to locate. Across the road ran a fence that marked the edge of Last Chance property. This rental was as close to the ranch as anyone could get without actually setting foot on it.
At least Drake had been smart enough to know he wouldn’t be welcome at the Last Chance. Sarah welcomed nearly everyone who came to her door, but once Drake had introduced himself, he would have been sent on his way with a regal lift of Sarah’s chin. Regan almost wished he had tried it, just so he could have experienced the Sarah Chance freeze-out.
Regan hadn’t called ahead, either. Surprising Drake had a certain poetic justice to it after the way he’d startled the guy six months ago on Christmas Eve. Belatedly Regan wondered if Drake would have a woman with him. It was Sunday morning, and Drake could easily have gone into town last night in search of female companionship. What Drake sought, he usually found.
To hell with it. If he’d brought a woman home, so what? She might want to know what kind of man she was dealing with, so Regan would be doing her a favor by barging in on their cozy setup. He banged on the front door.
A moment later it opened to reveal a man Regan barely recognized. Drake had always leaned toward the preppie look—clean-shaven, neat salon haircut, crisp white shirts and tailored slacks. This Drake had several days’ growth of beard and was in desperate need of a good haircut. He wore a faded UV sweatshirt and jeans that had seen better days.
Drake blinked. Then his signature feature, green eyes that were once filled with mischief and laughter, widened. “You came.” Gone was the cocky attitude. Well, mostly. He looked almost, but not quite, humble. “Thank you. Come in.”
“Don’t thank me yet, Brewster.” Regan walked past him into the open floor plan that combined a kitchen with a living room. The kitchen looked relatively neat, but the living room was strewn with books and magazines. A half-full mug of coffee sat on an end table.
Checking over the reading material, Regan noticed quite a bit of motivational stuff, the kind of thing his parents loved. He even spotted Happiness Is a Choice by Bethany Grace. He’d met Bethany on several occasions. She and her husband, Nash Bledsoe, lived on a small ranch down the road from the Last Chance.
Regan would share none of that with Drake, however. Drake needed reasons to leave, not reasons to stick around and meet one of his favorite authors. Regan was prepared to give him those reasons to leave, preferably without bloodshed.
“I appreciate you coming so quickly.” Drake moved some magazines off the couch. “Have a seat.”
“I’ll stand. The reason I came quickly is because I want you the hell out of my town.”
“Sorry.” Drake sank into an easy chair. “Not leaving. Not yet, anyway. It took me a week of hiking and hanging out in this cabin to work up the courage to call you. But I’m slowly figuring things out. I was right to come. Being here is exactly what I need.”
&nb
sp; “Yeah, well that’s what it’s always been about, isn’t it? What you need. Let me tell you something, buddy.” Regan pointed a finger at him. “Six months ago you broke up my engagement. Now, just by your presence, you’re causing a problem with the new lady in my life. I’m not letting you screw with me twice in less than a year.”
“Somebody new?” Drake’s eyebrows rose. “That’s terrific.”
“It was, until you showed up. Now you’ve become an issue between us, and I won’t have it.” He hadn’t thought he wanted to be here, but saying that to Drake’s face felt damned good. Drake didn’t have to know that Regan’s relationship with Lily was shaky for any other reason but his presence.
“How can I be a problem? I don’t even know her.”
“And you won’t, if I have anything to say about it. I can’t trust you around my girlfriends, remember?”
Drake’s expression grew bleak. “Oh, I remember, all right. It was the low point of my life.”
“It was no walk in the park for me, either, asshole.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t.” Drake gazed at him. “I’ll never be able to make it up to you, either.”
“You’ve got that right.”
Drake swept an arm around the room. “As you can see, I’ve done some reading in the past week.”
“Yeah. So what?”
“I’m serving as my own therapist, which is always dicey, but near as I can tell, I was jealous and couldn’t admit it to myself. So I acted like an idiot.”
“Jealous? You wanted Jeannette?” He remembered what Lily had asked. Maybe he had missed the obvious, after all.
“No, I didn’t want Jeannette. I wanted something you had. I wanted your...your self-confidence.”
“My what?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’ve always had that basic knowledge of who you are and what you want. You went to that Buck Brannaman clinic and you got it instantly, whereas I just faked it. You’re ten times the vet I am.” He held Regan’s gaze. “I’ve been pea-green with envy since day one, O’Connelli.”
Riding High Page 17