by Jayne Rylon
“Damn.” Bryce rubbed his chest. “That’s fucking hot. Kate was cool with it?”
“Hell yeah.” He thought back to the serene smile on her face. “She wasn’t up for sex with Mike just then. But she didn’t want him to suffer. I could see how much she loved him. All of them. While she cheered them on.”
Eli still hadn’t budged. Light brown hair stuck out in a messy array, courtesy of his convertible. He breathed hard at the memories. He stood rigid as Alanso spilled his family’s secrets.
Alanso had talked to the crew enough lately to know they didn’t mind him sharing the details of their alternative lifestyle. Hell, they’d threatened to call the garage and enlighten the rest of the Hot Rods if he didn’t do it soon.
“I always knew Morgan was a lucky bitch,” Sally whispered, squeezing him tighter. If she didn’t let up he might suffocate. He wouldn’t mind. Her hug soothed his heart.
“I assumed because of your moms…” Alanso paused.
“After how I grew up, it seems kind of normal to have more than one partner.” Sally hardly ever talked about her childhood in rural Utah. “That wasn’t why I ran away. I didn’t like being brainwashed. Or forced.”
He dropped his shoulder, allowing her to swing around to his side and tuck under his arm. Holding her in return helped him finish. Especially when Kaige asked, “What does any of this have to do with you being gay?”
“Cause what we busted in on was only the beginning.” Eli’s raspy answer startled them all, if the dead silence was any indication. “Go ahead. You’ve gone this far. Finish it.”
Alanso certainly didn’t argue. “After they’d satisfied Morgan, you could tell Mike hadn’t had enough. You know how everything falls to him.”
Though he spoke of the head of the crew, Alanso stared into Eli’s eyes as he elaborated.
“He takes on tons of responsibility. Protects them. Worries. Loves them all.” A deep breath stretched his ribs.
Sally rubbed his back with one hand.
“Mike asked Joe if he could fuck him. Joe let him. It was like he gave up everything to Mike, allowed him to take all the anxiety and relaxed for the first time since I’d seen him. And for a while Mike had the situation under control again. The whole time, Morgan made out with Joe and helped him get off. They were in it together. Kate…”
Alanso peeked up at Eli, who didn’t try to shush him again.
“She played with me and Cobra. We did stuff. To each other.”
A strangled groan left Sally’s milky white throat. Whether it was approving or disgusted, he couldn’t tell.
“And I liked it.” Alanso gulped. “A lot.”
Afraid to glance up, a weight lifted from his shoulders when Eli said, “I did too.”
Kaige coughed around the slug of beer he’d taken to wet his throat. “Holy shit, guys. Well, I have to say of all the things we put in the pool as reasons for your bad mood…no one had that.”
“I sort of did.” Sally peeked at him from her spot against his chest. She laid her palm over his pounding heart. “I had lack of pussy. I know how you boys get when you hit a dry spell. And neither of you have been going out lately.”
“You keeping track of us now?” Alanso couldn’t say why it bothered him that she paid such close attention. Maybe it shamed him because he didn’t care for any of the women he’d shared sheets with as much as he did for her.
Standing there, with her and Eli so close, sandwiching him between them, had him breaking out in a sweat.
“Excuse me, guys.” Carver raised his hand, being ridiculous as always.
“What?” Eli growled.
“If you liked it…and he liked it…what the motherfuck is the problem here?” He scratched the stubble on his jaw.
“Good question.” Alanso’s spine straightened. “Apparently, Cobra only approves when he’s hot. Afterward, he’s horrified.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth.” The corner of Eli’s eye twitched, as it did when he got thermonuclear angry. It didn’t happen very often, but when it did…
“I don’t need fancy talk to explain when you avoid me like I gave you herpes or some shit. You fucking insisted I not tell them what happened and acted like I’d killed someone. Even tonight, you must have watched. You were on the scene a fucking second after I finished. But you didn’t bother to join in or try to break their fingers for touching me. It’s pretty obvious you don’t give a shit.”
Sally interjected, “I don’t believe that, Alanso. I’m sorry he’s made you feel unwanted. He’s a dumbass, yes. But he loves you. We all do.”
“You’re our brother,” Roman affirmed.
“And that’s my problem.” Eli latched on to the excuse. “How can I want him? Or more? Any of you? All of you. Because believe me, I do. I wish you all could have seen what we did. I think you might like it too. I remember those nights…when we were younger, undisciplined, dumber… There were some close calls.”
He met each person’s gaze for a moment or two before moving on to the next.
“What you saw affected you as much as it did Al.” Bryce nodded, moving closer. “I can see where it would disturb you to blur the lines. You’ve always thought you had to look out for us.”
“You realize we’re plenty capable of holding our own, right?” Kaige chuckled. Hell, he’d single-handedly started and finished bar brawls regularly back when they were in their wilder days. “We’re close, yes. Something more than family. And if this is what you two want, I’d be willing to dip a toe in and see where it goes. If it doesn’t work for someone, or several people, we don’t have to pursue it.”
“I’d like to watch,” Sally whispered. A few of the guys mumbled their agreement. When she lifted her face toward Alanso, he thought maybe for a second she would keep stretching onto her tiptoes and put that dark red mouth lined with something even darker too close to his. Tonight had left him with no self-control intact. He stepped out of her hold. Unfortunately, that left him within Eli’s reach.
Instead of making a grab for him, Cobra closed his eyes. He stood there, breathing hard for a moment or two before his lids fluttered open and he focused his brilliant blue laser stare on Alanso. “Get over here and kiss me.”
Injustice triggered his stubborn streak. It didn’t seem fair that he’d had to beg for months only to give in immediately to Eli’s whims. “I’m not your bitch.”
“Don’t you wish you were?” Cobra canted his head. His high cheekbones were accentuated by the devilish smile Alanso knew so well. Dios, he’d missed that look. Homesickness roiled in his guts. He’d prayed for this man. And he didn’t care if it made him a pussy, he caved.
“Sometimes.” Alanso squared himself to his best friend, coming face-to-face. “But mostly I wonder what it would be like to make you forget about the world for one fucking moment. What if I could take away your obsession with the bills, worry about your dad’s loneliness, the look you get on your face any time one of us doesn’t feel well or, God forbid, has to go to the doctor? What would it be like to see you carefree? That’s what I wish.”
“Never gonna happen, Al.” Roman sighed.
“Prove him wrong.” The dare hung in the air. Eli knew damn well Alanso couldn’t resist a challenge like that. “Go ahead.”
Alanso didn’t recall deciding to give in. One instant he was floundering, his whole life about to change—for better or worse he couldn’t tell yet. The next, he’d stepped forward, grabbed Eli’s head between his palms and tugged until the taller guy yielded.
Before their mouths could crush onto each other again, Eli murmured, “I’m sorry.”
This time, when they met, something was different.
Sure, the urgency remained. A rough massage at the back of Eli’s skull nudged him closer. Alanso practically climbed the garage owner despite their friends witnessing his undeniable craving for the guy he groped.
Yet their lips told another story. Eli didn’t advance. He allowed Alanso to take charge of their exchange
. Instead of powerful nips or the lashing of tongues, they traded swipes of soft, wet flesh against the same.
Eli fed a groan into Alanso’s open mouth. He went still and calm. His movements turned fluid. The change spurred Alanso to escalate their encounter. The hard wall of Cobra’s chest met his as they fused together full-length. And only when his hands roamed from that short, tousled hair past strong shoulders to a narrow waist and finally to Eli’s gorgeous ass did he realize the shafts trapped between them were equally hard.
Hell, it felt as if Cobra really did have a massive trouser snake if the bulge poking Alanso’s flexed abs was any indication. In the background, someone whistled.
Coming to his senses, Alanso opened his eyes. He imprinted the peace and desire in Eli’s expression on his memory before he ripped away.
Cobra stumbled.
Carver appeared from beside them to brace the garage owner. It seemed he’d elected for a ringside seat to their little show. Sally clasped Eli’s other arm, steadying him on his feet where he swayed.
“Great idea. It’s time for bed.” Their leader was back, and he had a mission.
“You think just because you rock at tonsil hockey, you’re going to sleep with me tonight?” Alanso shoved away from Eli’s chest. “Fuck off. I’m still pissed. It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than one fucking tongue tango to convince me that you deserve a shot with me.”
Eli grinned, wide and slow. “You think I’m a good kisser?”
“Kiss my ass, Cobra. No me jodes.” He stalked toward his room, which shared a wall with Eli’s, trying not to remember how Ronnie had done just that earlier, while Cobra observed from the shadows.
“Wow, Al. Maybe you really are a chick under all those tattoos.” Holden got smacked upside the head by Roman for his smartassery. Sally tossed in a defense for her kind too. She wasn’t a head-game player like most women they’d run across.
A double salute from Alanso’s middle fingers, without checking the rearview for reaction, marked his exit. The day had drained him. In more ways than one.
Maybe tomorrow he could process it all.
Until then, sleep sounded heavenly.
He locked his hallway door, stripped to bare-assed-naked and took a minute to brush his teeth in the bathroom he shared with Cobra. It didn’t occur to him that his mind had stopped racing for the first time in months, making it easy to crash into his pillows and drift off.
Chapter Six
“Hey, that was the most interesting weeknight we’ve had in a few years.” Holden clapped a hand on Carver’s shoulder as the guys and Sally huddled around Eli. “We’re getting old. Rusty.”
Eli didn’t even bother to level one of his shut-the-hell-up glares in Holden’s direction. Suddenly, he felt weary. Unable to fight the tide that’d been dragging him out to sea.
“You gonna say something?” Kaige took up a spot near Bryce as they closed rank. “Eli, man, you all right?”
“I just want to make it clear that if any of you has an issue with what went down tonight, you bring it to me. Don’t you dare shit on Alanso because of this.” He bristled.
“I think the only guy here who’s got a problem with it is you.” Roman’s stern tone didn’t surprise anyone. As the oldest of their group, he had lived the hard life longer than most of them had, since Eli’s family had given them sanctuary one by one as they’d wandered into the youth shelter Eli’s mom had worked to build.
Roman had been a different matter. To this day, he worshipped Eli’s father—Tom—for not calling the cops on him when he’d caught the young man trying to hotwire his truck. Instead, he’d offered a loan he never expected to be repaid and a job pumping gas at the garage and service station so Roman wouldn’t have to stoop to petty theft ever again.
He’d busted his ass to fulfill his debt in record time, and he’d been there ever since.
The deep grooves around his mouth, his calculating eyes and the smell of hard liquor on his breath all combined to make him someone you didn’t want to mess with in a dark alley.
“What are you planning to do now?” Sally patted Eli’s chest, snapping his attention to the situation at hand. The fire in her eyes guaranteed he’d better answer this one right or risk her knee meeting his balls. She was quick and fierce. It’d hurt like hell.
“I—I have no idea.”
Stunned silence echoed around the cavernous room, designed to hold them all comfortably.
“You’ve always got the roadmap.” Carver’s jaw hung open wider at Eli’s indecision than it had at Alanso’s dramatic declaration.
“Not for this.” Eli scrubbed his knuckles over his eyes. “I don’t have a fucking clue what to do. I know what I want, but I don’t know what’s right. Not for Al or for any of us. I realize this is all new to you guys, so I think you should take some time to really think about the implications.”
Most of the Hot Rods nodded. Sally shook her head. “All I want to know is—do you plan to keep things between the two of you or expand like the crew did?”
“I can’t say, Sally.” He shrugged. Partly it depended on what the rest of the gang thought. He owed them time to process what they’d just witnessed. The lack of direction made him feel like his internal compass had crapped out. He’d always known where he was headed and marched toward his goals without pause. Now…he spun in circles. Changing his mind every five seconds.
Go to Alanso. That voice screamed loudest, but he resisted.
Back off.
Test the waters with the Hot Rods.
Leave them alone.
Show them how much you love them.
Don’t fuck up what you have.
Indecision was driving him insane. Oscillating between two polar opposites, he felt like a piston moving back and forth at an ungodly RPM. He hadn’t been this stuck since the time they’d attempted to drive one of their finds down the muddy, unpaved driveway leading from the estate sale they’d snagged the bargain at. It’d taken all of them pushing together to break free of that mire.
“Cobra, go talk to your dad,” Bryce suggested.
“About this?” He backed up a step, then another. “No way. What am I going to tell him? That I think I’m into guys now? That I’m having some early midlife crisis? Jesus.”
“You’ll know what to say when you get there.” Sally closed the gap between them and put her hand on his forearm. He studied her nails. She’d redone them again tonight. Now they were a hot pink color in two finishes—matte on the bed and glossy on the tip. Subtle yet not. Always interesting. Just like the paint jobs she designed and applied to the cars they restored. “He’ll help you think it through.”
Rather than argue those points, Eli picked something simpler. “It’s after midnight. He’s in bed by now, I’m sure.”
“Nah,” Kaige disagreed. “He stopped by for a few beers before. We told him something was up with you and Al. Actually, he kind of insisted that you come see him when you got home. Sorry, dude.”
Holden jabbed his fingers into the mini-blinds and separated two of the slats to peer into the night. “The porch light is on. He’s staying up for you. Better not keep him waiting any longer. Don’t waste the chance to lean on what you’ve got. None of the rest of us are that lucky unless we borrow your dad.”
“Crap!” For the first time since his curfew days, Eli suffered a moment of panic over walking through that door at this ungodly hour. “Fine. Fuck. I’m going. Who’s opening with me tomorrow? Shit…today. Kaige? Carver? Get your asses to bed. Nobody should be dragging when we’re working with the lifts and equipment. We’ll talk about this more this weekend.”
“Promise?” Sally looked up at him with wide eyes.
“Damn it, yes.” With that he spun on his heel and jogged down the stairs, across the lawn and onto the porch of his father’s home. He usually loved having the guy so close. But tonight, he wasn’t sure their proximity played to his advantage.
Was he ready to share everything? Even if he didn’t
know what all that entailed yet?
He trusted his father above anyone else in the world. The death of Eli’s mom had brought them closer. Almost more like friends than father and son. They’d been there for each other, then for the Hot Rods they’d discovered and inherited in the years following.
“In here, Eli,” his dad called from the living room as if the flash of the TV, which probably aired some travel documentary, didn’t highlight the way.
“Hi.” Nothing else came to mind.
“So, you want to tell me what had you two kids peeling out of here like harebrains? Those damn engines are loud enough to have all our neighbors calling and complaining to me.” Tom London didn’t beat around the bush.
“Since when do you give a shit what Mrs. Shoff thinks of us anyway?”
“You’re right, I don’t give a damn.” Tom clicked off the TV and angled toward Eli. “But I’ve had enough of this sulking. I want to know what’s wrong.”
Eli sank into a comfortably worn recliner, rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. “It’s complicated, Dad.”
“I’m not stupid. I’ll follow.” Tom crossed his arms.
“Are you pissed?” He narrowed his eyes at the rare irritation his father seemed to be barely containing. This wasn’t good. Hell, was he screwing up with everyone he loved lately?
“Kind of. Disappointed, actually.”
Eli hadn’t heard that tone since a bunch of them had gotten busted racing for money on a dangerous road one night in his early twenties. He’d hoped never to earn that slimy feeling in his gut again. “Why?”
“I thought you trusted me.” The statement rang with accusation.
“I do.” Eli wasn’t lying. His dad had always been there for him. Maybe he’d been stupid not to come here sooner for this talk. “It’s just…my issue affects more than me. Not sure it’s right to drag everyone else’s skeletons out in the open.”
“Is one of the Hot Rods in trouble?” Tom leaned forward in his seat. “You’ve got to tell me if they are. I can help.”