Her eyes shone as they lifted to his. “I don’t believe you. Marie said you wished the baby had been hers.”
“Believe me, that’s not true.” His lips curled in a derisive smile. “The sordid truth of my divorce is something I should have told you sooner. If you knew Marie, if you knew what she’s capable of, you would understand she’s a master-level manipulator.”
“But she didn’t know about the custody arrangements. That was your mother. And that was you.” Betrayal rang in her words. She clutched their daughter closer, breathing in her sweet new-born scent, a sob thick in her throat. “Please just go, Theo.”
“Absolutely not. I can’t lose you again. This last week, not knowing where you were, I have been desperately worried. And all I could think was that you believed those filthy, disgusting lies. I need you to know the truth, Imogen. Please.”
“You’ve told me the truth. You saw a lawyer months ago to get the custody arrangements in place. God, I’m such an idiot,” she muttered angrily, angling her head away. “Such an idiot!”
The baby flinched at the loudness of her tone and Imogen groaned. “Just go, please.”
“I can’t.” He shook his head and reached for her hand but Imogen pulled it away. “I won’t leave you again.”
“Did you tell your mother that you had to stay with me so that I wouldn’t end up with another man? So that another man wouldn’t end up raising your child?”
He froze, his eyes haunted as they met hers. “I…”
“It’s a simple question,” she prompted angrily, stroking the baby’s head in an attempt to defuse the anger in the room before it reached the newborn’s ears.
“No, it isn’t.”
“Yes, or no?”
He ground his teeth together. “I said something like it.”
Imogen swept her eyes shut. “So everything I overheard was the truth.”
“No!” He forced the word out as a plea. “God, Imogen! You know me. You know me better than anyone. Do you really think I’ve been lying to you?”
The question dove right into her heart. Hadn’t she been asking herself that? She held his gaze, and her stomach twisted painfully. “I didn’t,” she admitted. “I didn’t want to. But everything they said…” She sucked in a breath. “I’m not an idiot, Theo. I’m not going to let the fact we slept together and happened to make a baby blind me to what you are. Who you are.”
“And what’s that?” He pushed curiously, grief making the words muted.
“A liar. Someone who will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. You told me that the first night we met. You told me you’d sue for custody unless I moved in with you.”
He dragged a hand through his hair. “I apologized for that. I was desperate to keep you and the baby in my life.”
“Yes, I know,” she nodded. “Because you didn’t want me living away, meeting someone else, having a life that didn’t involve you. You want this baby, but where does that leave me? You and Marie playing happy families and what? I’m on the outside?”
“No,” he groaned. “You have to believe me…”
“Like my mother believed my father? And like your mother believed your father? I’m not an idiot,” she repeated, but the words were saturated with sadness.
Theo paled at the comparison to their fathers, both of whom had engaged in acts of infidelity. “That’s not me.”
“You’ve been lying to me this whole time!” She shouted, and then, when the baby began to cry, she shook her head angrily. “Please.” She bit down on her shaking, lower lip. “I’m … a mess. I’m barely holding it together and I need … I need to be strong for her right now. I know we have to deal with this and I will, but I’m tired and I’m sore and I just want a cup of tea and to sleep.”
“Okay, okay,” he nodded. “I’ll get you a tea. But honey, I need to explain this. You’ve got the wrong idea.”
“I don’t care.” She swept her eyes shut and perhaps it was the emotion of that moment or the exhaustion that followed a week of having barely slept, but Imogen sobbed again. “They’ve ruined this for me. Nothing you can say will fix this. Don’t you get that? I’ll never look at you in the same way again.”
“What if I promise you that you’re wrong? What if I promise you I can fix all of this?”
Theo groaned inwardly just as the door pushed inwards and the nurse returned.
“Right,” she said, encompassing Theo with her stern gaze. “Five minutes are up.”
He looked down at Imogen and the baby. “I’m going to stay longer. Imogen would like a tea.”
The nurse arched a brow in his direction and then turned her attention to the patient. “Would you prefer to rest?”
Theo compressed his lips, unused to being gain-said.
Imogen met his eyes, and his heart stuttered to a complete halt. Was she going to reject him? To send him packing? Because he didn’t fancy his chances against the nurse. His gut plummeted but then, Imogen spoke with soft resignation. “Soon. May we have five more minutes?”
“Of course, darlin’. That’s up to you.” The nurse moved to the baby and peeked into the blanket, smiling at the pink cherub. “I’ll bring you a tea.”
Theo suspected he’d be pushing his luck to ask for one too; besides, he wasn’t sure he could eat or drink.
“Press the button if you need me,” she said, a warning glance tossed in Theo’s direction.
Imogen nodded, but she couldn’t look at Theo. She stared straight ahead, her face pinched.
“You have five minutes.”
He nodded, weighing his words carefully, seeking the most direct way to explain. “Marie and I… you know we wanted kids. Or I did. We tried for years and it just didn’t happen for us. And the longer it took her to fall pregnant, the more I started to wonder what was wrong. She refused to see specialists and I didn’t want to push it. In hindsight, that should have been a warning, but I just felt so bad. Knowing we wanted a baby but couldn’t conceive– the guilt was intense. I went and got checked out; everything with me was fine.” He cleared his throat, shrugging his broad shoulders. “We weren’t a great couple, anyway. I think I’d fallen out of love with her even before we married. But we’d known each other a long time and I didn’t want to hurt her. Not in the midst of the whole infertility thing. It was a foul, foul mess.”
Imogen swallowed. “God! How convenient it must have been to have me come along with a ready-made baby for you and her to raise together.”
“Please, let me explain,” he said with quiet determination. His hand lifted of its own accord to the baby’s head. He stroked it gently, just one large, unsteady finger brushing over the pale hair. “We divorced, but afterwards Marie… got pregnant.”
Imogen froze, her eyes enormous, awash with dark emotions as she stared at him. Theo continued, “I couldn’t believe it. After years of trying, what were the chances she’d actually conceive once our divorce was through?” He ground his teeth together as his eyes hooked to Imogen’s. He registered her surprise. He understood it.
“She was pregnant?”
He nodded. “Intentionally.”
“But how? If you guys had been trying… It must have just been a question of timing.”
His smile was cool, as the pain of the past washed over him. “She’d been on the pill. Our whole marriage. She didn’t want kids, but then it occurred to her that it might get me back.”
Imogen’s stomach churned. Sorrow for Theo was thick inside of her, but her own pain was making it hard to give him what he needed. What she wanted to offer by way of condolences and platitudes.
“When I found out how she’d been lying to me, it killed the last dying flames of loyalty and affection. It was over. There was no love left between us.”
Imogen looked away from him. Their baby was warm and delicious. She cradled her and stared at the tiny little face, all wrinkled and pink. “What happened?” A croak.
“When she realized I wasn’t going to go back to her, she had
an abortion.”
Imogen froze, midway through rearranging the baby. Her head crashed upwards, her eyes locking to Theo’s. “What?”
“She sure as hell didn’t want a baby when we were married. She was willing to put up with one if it meant I’d go back to her. But when I told her we were done, she had an abortion.” Guilt flooded him. “I should have known. I should have waited. Pretended. But I never believed her capable of such a vile, selfish, heinous act.”
It took Imogen several long seconds to gather her wits and find her words. “God, who could? You’re saying she deliberately got pregnant and then …”
He nodded, his eyes reflecting the truth of his sadness and loss. “So you can see why nothing on earth would make me wish I was having a baby with her instead of you. I would never trust her near our daughter, that’s for sure.”
Imogen’s heart turned over but she shook her head softly. “No wonder you were so adamant I would come live with you. The thought of losing another child must have been horrifying. Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
His face blanched. He picked at an imaginary piece of lint on the blanket, his manner distracted. “It was all so sad, Imogen.” His sigh carried the weight of the world. “The whole situation was absolutely awful. I still can’t get my head around what she did.” He shook his head. “I was utterly, completely heartbroken. And you made me so happy.” His expression was a mask of heavy remorse. “I just wanted to be happy. With you. To keep the past in the past.”
He lifted his hand to her cheek, unable to resist touching her. “I met you just two weeks after she did it.” A muscle jerked in his cheek and he focused on a point over Imogen’s shoulder. “I’m not usually like that. I mean, after our divorce, I let my hair down a bit but then, when I learned what she’d done… I was…”
“I understand,” she said softly, her hand reaching for his before she could curb the impulse. “It would unhinge anyone, that grief and shock.”
He nodded, a brusque movement of his head. “I barely remember the night we met. But when I saw you again, I knew I couldn’t let you go.” He put a hand on her still-rounded stomach. “Baby or not, everything clicked inside me when I saw you.”
“You didn’t remember me at all,” she said with a small shake of her head. “You thought I worked for you. If I hadn’t told you about the baby you would have let me walk out of that bar…”
“No.” His denial was emphatic. “I would have chased you. I know how hard this is for you to believe. It’s why I saw the lawyer.”
Her jaw clamped down and her face paled. “Please don’t.”
“Don’t what? Surely my five minutes aren’t up already?”
Again, his attempt at humour fell flat. Imogen was so terrified she was quivering.
“Please don’t take her from me. I know you probably can and I understand why you want to, now. I understand how terrified you must be of losing another baby. I know you could use expensive lawyers and tie me up in court and I know you can probably offer her all manner of things but please, I’m begging you…”
“Imogen, listen, let me finish.” His eyes hooked to hers and she looked away, unwilling to feel any kind of connection with him. Doubts plagued her.
“At first, I saw my lawyer just to get advice. I didn’t know anything about you and I told myself it was smart to protect my interests. To find out what my claim would be, in case you decided to keep me away from the baby.”
Imogen blanched and he softened his voice, staring at her, willing her to understand him. “But less than a fortnight after you’d moved in I knew that wasn’t going to be my problem. I wanted … I wanted what we had to be real. I wanted that so badly.” He cleared his throat, and was uncharacteristically abashed. He focused his attention on their baby to save himself from her inquisitive look. “So I changed my brief. I didn’t get custody arrangements drawn up to take her away from you.”
He stopped speaking abruptly as the door swung open and the nurse reappeared clutching a plastic cup of tea. She placed it on the table beside Imogen, then spent a painful few minutes checking Imogen’s temperature and blood pressure. Theo held his tongue, but he was about to explode.
“So?” Imogen asked when they were alone once more, the word coming out breathy and impatient. “Why did you?”
“I wanted … I wanted to show you that I would let you walk away, if that’s what you wanted.”
“What?” Imogen swapped their baby to her other arm, nestling her carefully into the crook of her elbow and then lifting her tea cup. She leaned forward to sip it, watching she didn’t get the boiling water anywhere near their child.
“You’re so young. And so sweet and kind and thoughtful and generous. I started to worry that you would feel trapped by this. By me. I’d steam-rollered you into living with me, we’d set up the nursery in my apartment. I worried that you would feel …resentful.”
Imogen’s cheeks flushed pink. Hadn’t she thought that? But only once she’d overheard his mother’s conversation.
“I didn’t.” She said simply. “At least, not until I thought you were just using me as a baby incubator for you and Marie.”
His laugh was a coarse sound, without humour. “Believe me,” he muttered. “That’s not how I ever thought of you.”
“So how would it have worked? What does the arrangement say? Am I meant to move back home? How much of our daughter’s time did you feel fair to allot to me?”
He winced, but he wouldn’t be derailed. Her hurt was natural. “I bought a place around the corner from me, in your name. I wanted to give you this so that you knew yourself to have options.”
“What options?” She responded bleakly, and for some reason, the thought of the nursery they’d decorated together came to mind and emptiness filled her.
“I don’t want you to stay with me because of her.” He stroked the baby’s head gently. “I don’t want you to stay with me because you can’t afford not to. I want you to be with me –properly, for real – because you can’t bear not to be.”
She shook her head slowly from side to side and fear of rejection made him speak faster.
“When you disappeared from that damned baby party catastrophe my mother organised, do you know what chilled me to my core? Worry over you. Not the baby. You. The love of my life. The idea that something could have happened to you was the worst thing I’ve ever contemplated.”
“Don’t say that,” she shook her head. “I can’t believe it.”
“I wanted to tell you that I love you, that I want to marry you, but I wanted to have everything lined up first. I wanted you to know that whatever happens, I will look after you. That you can stay with me, or you can go, and I will support you in whatever choice you make. I love you, Imogen. All of you.”
Tears fell unchecked down her cheeks and Theo lifted a palm to wipe them away gently. “I should have told you sooner. In truth, I suppose I thought you knew. I thought it often enough, and emphatically enough, that I just presumed it was one of those things that went without saying.”
Imogen sobbed, torn between wanting to believe him and needing, desperately, to make the smart choice for herself, and her baby. “But you said you didn’t want to be engaged.”
“When did I say that?”
“When I asked about how you called me your fiancé,” she murmured. “Remember?”
“Well, I didn’t want to get engaged like that,” he laughed gruffly. “Then again, it would have been preferable to putting you through this.” He held her hand. “I wanted you to know, Imogen, that I love you. That I will wait for you to settle into this. Motherhood. Living in London. I don’t expect you to love me. It’s enough that we’re attracted to each other and that we have her,” he nodded to the bundle. “But please don’t walk out on me without at least giving me a chance.”
“Theo, you idiot,” she said crossly. “You know I’m head over heels in love with you.”
He stared at her in obvious confusion. “No.”
<
br /> “Come on! How can it have been any more obvious?”
“Well, I could say the same,” he pointed out.
And Imogen’s heart began to thump as their reality shifted before them. “You love me?”
“I will always love you,” he nodded. “Please come home with me.”
“Home.” Her voice cracked on a sob as she repeated the word. “With you.”
“Our home.”
“You’re serious?”
“Imogen Harper, I have never been more serious about anything in my life. I want you to come home with me, to marry me; I want to love you forever and ever. And one day, I want to make another baby with you. And another. And another.”
Her breath caught in her throat and she could no longer contain the smile that burst over her face. But she stilled it thoughtfully. “Well, perhaps we could engage a surrogate for any future babies.”
“A surrogate?”
“Labour isn’t exactly something I’m keen to experience again,” she said, wincing as she shifted a little in bed.
He smiled, but his heart throbbed. “I hated hearing you scream, not being able to come to you.” He lifted his hand, cupping her opposite hip, his finger strong and warm and so instantly familiar that her heart spun in her chest. “I would have done anything to be here with you, helping you, supporting you, and seeing her the moment she arrived on earth,” he said gently.
Imogen had known Theo to be outside, but she hadn’t been able to countenance even the idea of his joining her. “I was so angry with you,” she said quietly. “All week I’ve been fuming. It never occurred to me that what I’d heard was just two angry, bitter women wishing things weren’t as they are.”
He moved closer, so that he could press a kiss against her upturned palm. “I have an idea for her name.” He changed the subject quietly and Imogen was temporarily jarred. But then, happiness began to drip through her veins, replacing hurt and heartache.
“Yeah? Let me guess… Miss Trunchbull?”
He shook his head. “Better. I’ve put a lot of thought into it.”
“You only just found out she was a girl,” Imogen laughed.
His Nine Month Seduction Page 15