Dawning realization lit his lover’s eyes, and a slow, easy grin stretched his lips until his pearly whites were showing. “My love.”
“Yeah, that one.” There it was. He’d said it again. Raith just wasn’t completely sure what it meant.
“Oh, Raith, you really are clueless.” Slipping out of Raith’s hold, October straddled his thighs and pressed him back against the cushions before capturing his mouth in a long, lingering kiss. “How could I not love you?I’ve missed you terribly.”
* * * * Since he’d met Ra ith, everything had been so damn confusing. They’d been basically strangers when October first discovered the man was his mate. The confusing part was that being with the witch felt so familiar, as though they’d been lovers for a lifetime. Each move, everysmile, and all those subtle nuances of Raith’s personality were all things he remembered, but it had made no sense to him.
How could he remember things that hadn’t happened? How was it he could predict Raith’s actions and reactions after knowing him for such a short period of time? After speaking with Torren, he finally had his answers. He now knew exactly how possible it was to see the reflection of lost love in a stranger’s eyes.
“Wait, wait, wait.” Raith pushed gently at October’s chest, indicating that he needed some space to process what was happening.
Sliding back to the cushions, October waited. Now that he understood what was going on, it was even easier to detect those little quirks that he’d adored about Rastas—as well as the ones that had drivenhim up the wall. He wasn’t the most patient man, and sitting there quietly when what he really wanted to do was plow straight through the conversation was difficult, to say the least.
Unfortunately, it was made harder by the growing look of anger darkening Raith’s features. “You missed me?”
“For four hundred years now.”
“When Rastas died.”
“When you died.” He started to touch Raith’s arm, but the man drew back and inched farther away from him. “I’m sorry, draga. I should have been more open with you. I should have done so many things different, and then we might not have lost so much time together.”
“You think I’m Rastas?” His hands began to shake where they rested on his knees. “Or you wantme to be your dead mate?” Those deep, onyx eyes sparked, and golden light glowed around the irises. “Is that what this is about? You miss him so much that you’re trying to make me believe that I’m your long lost lover?”
“Raith, listen.”
“No.” He jump up from the sofa and fisted his trembling hands at his sides. “I remember each one of my previous lives as clearly as yesterday, and at no point in time were we ever mates. I was never mauled by a werewolf, and my name was never Rastas.”
This certainly wasn’t the reaction he’d expected. On top of the hurt he felt at the accusations, October also worried what would happen if he couldn’t calm the man. He’d gotten a taste here and there of what Raith could do, and with each emotional upset, his power grew and became more uncontrollable.
“Knock it off, asshole.” A very disheveled looking Torren shuffled into the room, wearing nothing but a pair of black sweatpants. “You’re going to wake up everyone in the house, and then I’m going to kick your ass.” He pointed a finger in Raith’s face when the witch opened his mouth to retort. “Now, shut up and listen to me.”
“I’m listening,” Raith growled.
“Good. This wouldn’t even be necessary if you’d stop jumping to conclusions and getting pissed off. October could have explained it to you just as easily.”
“Or manipulate me.”
October dropped his head and sighed while Torren looked like he was going to belt his brother in the mouth.
“I don’t know it for a fact that you were this Rastas guy, but it’s not as farfetched as you seem to think. We’re reincarnated, right?” He waited for Raith’s nod before continuing. “And so are our mates.” Raith nodded again. “Here’s my theory. If you died and October didn’t, it’s created a kink in your connection that won’t allow you to remember that past life together.”
“You looked so different back then,” October added. “I could feel something familiar about you, but I just didn’t put it all together until I talked to Torren earlier. That’s what I was trying to tell you.”
“I think once you complete the binding, it will repair the connection, and you’ll get those memories back.” Torren threaded his fingers through his long hair and huffed. “Get it now?”
“And you’re sure?”
“No, Raith, I’m not sure, but it makes sense. What you experienced earlier was a memory, not some mystic channeling of a ghost. It’s the magic trying to repair the connection. Stop fighting and just let it happen.”
Raith’s posture relaxed, the strange glow of his eyes faded away, and the anger was replaced by a look of total and utter dejection. “I can’t do that.” His sad gaze turned to October. “I don’t even know what’s happening to me anymore. I’m angry all the time over the stupidest shit. It’s like I black out when I get like that and this coldness seeps in and consumes me. I can’t live like this, and I can’t ask you to share in it.”
“Well, I’m actually glad you said that.” A cocky smirk graced Torren’s face. “If you really want to get rid of that magic, you know the only way to do it, right?”
“I have to die,” Raith answered immediately. “I know.”
“Are you prepared for that?”
“I can’t live like this anymore,” he repeated.
“Then get your head out of your ass and claim your mate.”
Raith scrubbed both hands over his face and grunted. “You know it doesn’t work like that. If we’re bound, I know I can’t die unless he does. It’s not technically dying, and when I wake up, I’ll still have this evil inside me.”
“There’s where you’re wrong.”
October’s stare bounced back and forth between the brothers as though he werewatching a tennis match. He hadn’t heard this part, and he wasn’t sure what exactly they were talking about. What he did know was that he was adamantly against Raith’s death in any way, shape, or form.
“Camdin moved in with Layke, and they’ve been doing a lot of research since your little stunt. There’s a ritual, faerie magic. Combined with your magic and your connection with your mate, Camdin is sure it will work.”
“What if it doesn’t?” October countered. “What if he just dies?”
“As long as you’re bound, he won’t. The worst that will happen is that he’ll wake up and still have this darkness inside him. Then, well, we move on to a new plan.”
Maybe it was worth a shot. It definitely deserved consideration. Claiming his mate for the sake of saving his life didn’t sound terribly romantic, but it wasn’t the most horrible reason to claim Raith, either.
“Thank you, Torren. We have a lot to discuss.”
“Well, do it quietly.” Torren jerked his head and shuffled back to his room with a yawn.
“What do you think, draga?”
“If we do this and it doesn’t work, you’re going to be sharing this misery with me. I don’t think I can risk that.”
“If it does work, you could be free.” Rising from the couch, October approached his lover slowly and reached out, pleased when Raith didn’t shrink back from him again. “Let me help you.”
“Even if it’s true that we were together four hundred years ago, I’m not that same person. How can you be sure that you want to be with me for eternity?”
“I love you,” October answered simply.
Raith snorted, but he didn’t release October’s hand. “You love a memory. It wasn’t until you convinced yourself that I was your lost Rastas that you decided you loved me.”
“You’re a fool.” He stepped closer, molding himself to Raith’s chest. “Yes, you are a different person now, but not as much as you think.” Lifting himself on his toes, he brushed a kiss along Raith’s jawline. “It doesn’t really
matter, though. I won’t lie and say there aren’t some residual feelings there, but I love you for the man you are now. How could I not?”
“Would you like me to make you a list?”
October wouldn’t rise to the bait, though. “It’s okay if you’re scared. It’s even okay if you don’t feel the same way.” Raith was walking, talking proof that even the toughest of men had insecurities and self-doubts. The witch did an excellent job of hiding them, but his vulnerabilities only made October love him more.
“Now who’s the fool?” A tender smile curved his lips, and he finally wrapped his arms around October’s back in a tight embrace. “If I didn’t love you, I would say let’s do this and damn the consequences. I don’t want to take that chance with you, though.”
“You wouldn’t even if you didn’t love me.” Snuggling closer, he rested his head on Raith’s shoulder and sighed in contentment as he listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “That’s just the kind of man you are.”
“Do you mind? I’m trying to have a moment here.” Long fingers slid under October’s chin and lifted his face so that he was staring up at his lover. “I love you, Tober. Even if you’re an OCD, micromanaging, control freak, I love you.”
“Aww, you say the sweetest things.” He abandoned the teasing lilt and wiped the smile from his face quickly. “I know you want to shield me from all of this, but I know the risks involved. If there is even the slightest chance that this ritual can work—and as long as you’ll be completely safe—I want to do it. I want to move forward with our life together, and we can’t do that with this cloud hanging over our heads.”
“I don’t want that cloud either, babe. If you’re sure, if this is what you really want…”
“This is what I need. I need to know you’re happy and well.”
Raith sighed, wrapped an arm around his neck, and pulled him close to kiss his temple. “We’ll talk to Camdin tomorrow.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Wake up, sleepyhead.” The sun had set, Thane and Zasha had taken the boys upstairs to introduce Kaito to the world of ageappropriate video games, and Raith finally had his lover all to himself.
“It can’t be sunset yet,” October whined. “I just fell asleep two minutes ago.”
Actually, the guy had been snoring in his ear for the better part of the past six hours, but he didn’t think he’d win any popularity contests by divulging that bit of embarrassing information. His heart and mind felt lighter, less troubled, and he still wore a goofy smile from the previous night’s confessions.
No, they hadn’t waxed poetic to one another. There had been no singing cherubs or colorful fireworks, no rose pedals, candlelight, or any other kind of fanfare. That was fine with Raith. When the words were true and the emotions behind them pure, a simple statement was worth more to him than some lavish display of affection.
“We’re all alone,” he whispered seductively as he curled around his lover’s back and slipped a hand under the blanket to fist October’s semierect cock. “Are you sure you don’t want to get up?”
A low, rumbling moanvibrated through October’s chest, and he arched against him, pushing his swelling length through Raith’s grip. “I could be persuaded.”
“I was hoping you could.” He raked his teeth over his lover’s shoulder and swirled his tongue across the flesh to soothe the sting. Flexing his fingers, he squeezed his mate’s shaft as he stroked from crown to tip and dipped his thumb into the weeping slit to smear the translucent drops of pre-cum.
His own cock ached fiercely, throbbing where it rested along the crease of October’s ass. Raith rocked his hips, humping against the vampire’s body and fighting back the moan that rose in his throat from the delicious friction.
In a move too quick for his eyes to follow, October flipped around and rolled on top of him,pinning Raith’s shoulders to the mattress as he hovered above him. “Mmm, what do you want, draga?”
“I want you to love me.”
“I do love you.”
“No, I mean…” Raith trailed off, a bit unsure of how to ask.
He knew exactly what he wanted, but he’d never shown anyone that level of vulnerability before. This was his mate, though. This was Leader October Tuesday, the most honorable and dedicated man he’d ever known. If anyone in the universe deserved his unwavering commitment, it was the vampire who loomed over him with a gentle smile and adoration shining from his gaze.
“I know,” October murmured, insinuating himself between Raith’s thighs. Bracing himself with one hand on the mattress, he stroked one finger down Raith’s cheek. “Easy, my love. I’ll take very good care of you.”
“I know,” Raith echoed. It didn’t stop him from being nervous, but he knew October would never do anything to hurt him.
“I’m going to need a little assistance.” His hand dipped between their bodies, and his index finger ghosted along Raith’s crease. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Getting the hint, Raith snapped his fingers, producing a bottle of clear gel from seemingly nowhere. That wasn’t strictly true, however. Magic was complicated and many layered. He couldn’t produce something out of nothing. For example, he hadn’t just conjured the lube he held between his fingers, he’d summoned it from his bag over in the corner.
“I do love magic.” October took the plastic bottle from him calmly, but the quivering of his muscles gave away his eagerness.
Flipping the cap open with a quiet snick, he coated his fingers with a generous amount of the slippery liquid and dribbled another few drops over Raith’s exposed hole for good measure. He didn’t say a word, didn’t offer any kind of reassuring words. He just stared into Raith’s eyes with an intensity that made him want to squirm under the scrutiny.
October rimmed his entrance with steady, unyielding pressure, circling but never entering. It felt strange, but not unpleasant, and the longer the single, slippery finger massaged him, the more relaxed he became.
“Good, draga.” Dropping forward over Raith’s chest, October pressed their mouths together and flicked his tongue overRaith’s lips, urging him to open.
The kiss instantly exploded into a wildfire of passion and need, and October’s slender digit eased into his hole, stretching his muscles so that they wrapped around his finger like a lover’s caress. The sensation was odd, a bit uncomfortable, but not entirely unpleasant.
“Relax,” October rasped before diving back into the kiss.
Raith’s head reeled as he gorged himself on his partner’s taste. Lifting his legs higher, he draped them over October’s hips, opening himself to the man’s exploration. The lone digit sawed in and out of his opening, sending jolts of pleasure straight to his pulsing cock.
“More.”
Licking and nibbling down the side of his throat, October obliged, easing his finger free and pushing back in with two. The burn was minimal, the pressure more intense, and Raith tossed his head back on the pillow and moaned in pleasure. How had he gone so long without this? Sure, he’d been nervous as first, but now, all he could think about was getting more of that indescribable feeling.
“More,” he growled.
“Not yet.” Pumping into Raith’s channel, October turned his wrist one way and another, working carefully but diligently to ensure Raith was wellstretched and prepared. “Almost.”
“I’m fine, Tober.” It went against every one of his instincts to beg, but his instincts had never come up against the onslaught of need and desire he was suddenly feeling. “Please!”
Those talented fingers disappeared, the pressure lessened, and Raith bit his tongue to keep from crying out in protest. He didn’t have long to feel bereft, however. October was back, curled over him, and pressing the spongy crown of his cock to Raith’s puckered star. “Deep breath.”
Raith did as instructed, sucking in a huge breath and letting it out slowly through his nose, willing every muscle in his body to relax. “Holy shit!” That was no fucking finger, and he was pretty damn su
re that October had just shoved an entire lamppost up his ass. “Fuck!”
His mate petted and stroked his sides, chest, and face. “Do you want me to stop?” The tightness in his tone said he really hoped the answer was no, but he’d do whatever Raith wanted.
Shaking his head, Raith continued to breathe through the stinging pain and clamped his legs around October’s waist to urge him on. “I’m fine.”
October’s lips stretched into an indulgent grin as he stared down at him. Instead of asking more questions or offering further comfort, he pressed their mouths together again and maneuvered his hand between their sweatslicked bodies to grip Raith’s swollen erection.
His narrow hips flexed, sliding his cock over the straining walls of Raith’s channel as the muscles stretched and conformed to make way for his girth. The tongue dueling with his own and the tight fist around his dick served as the distraction they were meant to be, and Raith hardly notice when the tempo increased.
The pain dissipated, the pleasure spiked, and shivers chased each other along his spine. His gut tightened, his balls churned, and a flush worked across his skin until he felt overheated. Bowing his back and lifting his hips, he began to move with his lover, joining him in the sensual dance. As his confidence grew, he rocked faster, desperately chasing the climax that was just out of reach, teasing him.
“Mine,” October whispered. A second later, he struck, embedding his canines into Raith’s neck and drawing on the wound.
Heat exploded inside Raith’s chest and belly. He felt dizzy and light-headed. His eyes rolled back in his head, the cords in his neck strained, and he clutched at his lover in an unbreakable hold as ropes of sticky cream erupted from his cock to fill the space between them.
Words he’d never spoken before, words he’d never even heard before, fell from his parted lips, rolling off his tongue in an ancient, mostly forgotten language. When the words ceased, and it felt like everything inside of him was detonating in a domino effect, he slumped against the mattress and groaned as shudders wracked his body.
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