She walked slowly back across the drive to the school. Her shoes were soaked with dew, and the birds chirped noisily from the chestnut trees. She breathed in the freshness of the morning, clenched her fists at her sides and went straight to Sister Philomena’s office.
‘Thought you’d eloped,’ Philomena said, looking up from her desk. ‘You gone, Elias gone, the morning service a wash-out — jumped to conclusions, don’t you know. I had to do the readings, made a pig’s ear of the whole bally show.’
‘No, not eloped.’ Agnes felt suddenly very tired.
‘And look at you. Half a tree in your hair. Off you go now, old chap, explanations later. I expect they’ll be colourful, as usual.’ Philomena opened a book on her desk and started making notes in the margin.
Agnes closed the door softly behind her.
She went to her room and lay on her bed. She wondered how William was now. She’d left him with James half an hour ago, both engaged in animated discussion about the breeding of gun dogs. Agnes and James had explained to him the events of the night, and he’d listened quietly, every so often looking across to Greer. When Agnes got up to leave, he stood up with her. Clumsily, he’d reached out and taken her hand in his. ‘I — I had to — ’ he shifted on his feet. ‘I thought I had to look for Hannah. I was a bit confused. She’s dead, you see. I can see that now.’ Agnes met his eyes. His expression was calm, almost serene. He nodded, and let go of her hand. ‘Yes. I can see that now.’ He went back to his place to refill the whisky glasses, and Agnes had slipped away.
Now, lying on her bed, she dozed for half an hour, then got up and showered and put on fresh clothes. She made some coffee and toast, and sat at her desk. She dialled Janet Cole.
‘It’s Agnes. Any news?’
‘Turnbull, you mean? He’s either being hidden by someone, or he’s left the area.’
‘Have you seen Joanna Baines?’
‘Yes, we went to talk to her earlier. She’s doing very well.’
‘Is David with her?’
‘Yes, he is.’
‘He’s still in danger, isn’t he?’
‘We’re aware of that, yes.’
‘Has anyone seen Billy Keenan?’
‘Funny you should ask that. There were a couple of small fires on the estate last night. Just the odd car, you know. But we recognised the style — it’s his way of communicating, by smoke signal. If you see him, can you let us know?’
Agnes finished her toast and went back to the car park. There was still no answer at Elias’s flat. She got into the car and drove to the estate, to the Keenan home.
Maureen answered the door. ‘No, I in’t seen him, love,’ she said, ushering Agnes inside.
‘I didn’t think so.’
‘Couple of cars torched last night,’ Maureen said, turning the sound down on the television.
Agnes sat down in an armchair. ‘Yes, so I heard.’
‘And the mill all upside down, coppers everywhere.’
‘Turnbull’s gone missing.’
‘GBH on his sister-in-law, I heard.’
‘Your grapevine’s fast, isn’t it?’
For the first time, Maureen smiled. ‘Cup of tea, love.’ Agnes followed Maureen to the kitchen. ‘I wanted to ask you — there was an incident at the mill last December, involving Billy and your friend Kitty — some kind of fight, I think — ’
‘A fight? With our Kitty?’ Maureen shook her head. ‘I can’t imagine that — ooh, wait a minute, I know what you mean. Our Billy took the blame, again, and it weren’t his fault neither.’
‘What happened?’
‘It were just after her mother died, and a couple of the lads up there, bored wi’ baiting the Pakis, starting taunting our Kitty, saying things like, aye, well, that’s one Kraut less in the world — you have to remember, Kitty don’t go out of her way to make friends with folk, and her mother was even more withdrawn, not a popular woman at all. Poor Kitty, she were that upset, screeching at them, she were, throwing things, I’ve never seen her so angry — and then Billy waded in and told them to shut it, and it ended in a fight of some kind, couple of eyes blackened, and of course he got the blame. Always does, you see. But he likes Kitty, like I told you, he couldn’t stand by and see her treated like that.’
‘Why Kraut? I mean, why was that the taunt?’
‘Oh, just one of those things. People always said her mother was German, she was called Meyer. No proof at all, spoke proper and all. But she was so quiet, she never bothered to account for herself, folk could think what they liked as far as she was concerned. She were a difficult woman.’
*
Agnes left the estate and drove down the hill towards the town. She passed Florence Chadwick’s street. She pulled in and sat in her car, thinking. She looked across to Number 54, the house on the corner where Millie Coulter lived. She got out of her car and rang on Millie’s bell. There was no answer. She pulled a page out of her notebook, scribbled a note, then changed her mind and screwed it up in her pocket. She went back to her car and drove to James’s.
‘I bet you haven’t slept.’ James looked at her with concern.
‘I dozed a bit this morning. How about you?’
‘I had a couple of hours. Are you hungry? It seems to be lunchtime.’
‘And how’s William?’ Agnes asked, as she helped James make some sandwiches.
‘He seems much better. He talked to Jo on the phone, which cheered him up a lot. Evelyn went over to make him some lunch, and Isabel will be back on Monday. And Patricia arrived with a huge suitcase and seems to be moving back in. So the poor chap can’t move for women wanting to look after him.’
‘Does he regret the mill?’
James arranged the sandwiches on a plate. ‘He said he’d been a stupid old fool.’
Agnes followed James into the dining room. ‘But he’d lost Hannah, he couldn’t think straight.’
‘That’s what I said. I wanted him to see that it wasn’t his fault. Also, that daughter of his, Patricia, she could run twenty mills by the looks of her. I’m sure it will work out OK in the end.’
Agnes poured two cups of coffee. She put the coffee jug down, frowning. ‘It’s not over yet.’ She looked up at James. ‘Is David still with Joanna?’
‘I think so, yes.’
‘Do you mind if I phone him?’
‘Sure, go ahead.’
David’s voice on the phone was cheerful. ‘Agnes, hi, thanks for everything yesterday — she’s so much better, it’s wonderful ... ’
‘And are you OK?’
‘Me? Of course, why?’
‘That photo you were sent — ’
‘Oh, that, it’s OK — ’
‘I don’t think it is. Can you make sure you stay with people, David? Don’t go anywhere alone.’
‘But they’re after Turnbull, they’ll get him soon, it’ll be OK.’
‘Please.’
‘Yeah, well, I’m here for now. I’ve got a camp bed and everything.’
‘Good.’
‘And by the way, can you tell your art dealer friends to choose their moment with more care.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘They phoned me, your London friend, what’s his name, first thing this morning. Demanding another meeting — apparently, they want to see more of my stuff. I had to tell him that a) it was a Saturday, and b) my partner is in hospital and needs me with her — but he was most insistent. Rude even. Strange, I thought.’
Agnes laughed. ‘You’ve obviously got a fan. Athena said he was in love with the North. I’ll have a word with her.’
‘Thanks. Come and see us soon.’
‘I will.’
Agnes rang off. James poured her some more coffee. ‘They sound fine,’ he said.
‘They are. Now there’s just Turnbull to worry about. And — ’
‘And what?’
Agnes sighed. ‘Elias.’
‘Yes.’
‘And I still don’t know ... ’
<
br /> ‘What don’t you know?’
‘I keep thinking about peregrine falcons.’
‘William told me about Elias. There was a riding tragedy, apparently.’
‘Yes.’
‘William had to destroy his horse, he said. He shot her himself.’
‘Yes.’
‘And he gave away all the other horses, he told me. His neighbour took them in, there’s a stables just across the way from him.’
Agnes looked at James. ‘What’s the neighbour called?’
‘I’ve no idea. It’s a livery stable. Why, what now?’ Agnes passed her hand across her forehead. ‘Nothing. I don’t know. It’s just — Elias — he’s missing at the moment. It’s just a crazy thought I had.’ She yawned. ‘I’d better get back to the school, I can’t miss the evening office as well.’
At his door, they held each other. ‘Come back soon,’ James murmured.
*
The nuns shuffled into the chapel and sat down, awkward in the absence of Elias. There was a moment’s hesitation, in which glances were exchanged, and then Sister Teresa stood up and went to the lectern. Agnes stared up at the white vaulted ceiling, at the statue of Our Lady.
‘ ... Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff comfort me ... ’
Agnes shifted in her place, unable to shake off the feeling that there was somewhere else she ought to be.
Afterwards she went straight to her room. She paced to and fro, her mind working to sort out a tangle of thoughts. She stopped still, then suddenly went out, through the quiet corridors to the office. She went to the shelves, picked out a copy of the Yellow Pages and looked up Stables, Livery. She copied a couple of addresses down on a scrap of paper.
She went back to her room, put on a warm jumper, grabbed her coat and a torch and went out, taking the car without a second thought, even though the light was still on in Philomena’s office.
She drove out of the town, towards Baines’s house. She passed the end of his drive and then slowed down and followed the road towards the moor, leaving the lights of the town behind her. A sign said Burghley Stables. Livery. She stopped.
She reversed the car into a muddy gap by a gate where it couldn’t be seen, and got out. She began to walk up the track that led to the stables. A dog barked, some way off.
She kept to the grass, so as not to crunch the gravel underfoot.
This is mad, she thought. I’m crazy. He won’t be here.
A dog barked again, nearer now, and she tried to keep calm. She heard the whinny of a horse, answered by another, and she followed the sound, round the back of the house.
There was sudden growling, very near, and Agnes froze. She could see a dog, tethered, jumping at its leash. She walked on into the yard, between neat rows of stalls, watched by the gentle equine eyes of their occupants.
‘Elias?’ she whispered. I’m crazy, she thought. What the hell am I going to say when the owner comes to set the dogs on me?
She heard a whinny. A cough. A human cough.
‘Elias?’
Again the cough. She went towards it. A tall bay with a white stripe nodded at her.
‘Elias? Is that you?’ She stroked the nose of the horse, and peered over the door into the darkness beyond. Two eyes met her own. Murmuring softly to the horse, Agnes opened the stall and went in. Elias was crouched in the hay, shivering. He stared away from her. She sat down next to him and took his hands. He didn’t look up.
‘Do they let you stay here?’ She didn’t know what else to say.
‘The groom knows me.’ He coughed again. ‘Harry. He was Baines’s man, Jack took him on when he took the horses.’
‘But — ’
‘He understands, Harry does. This is Adelaide. I rode her when she was a three-year-old. She’s an old lady now.’ The mare nodded in response to her name, and Elias reached out and touched her leg.
‘Elias — we must get you out of here.’ She hadn’t meant to be so abrupt, and he let go of her hands.
‘No.’
‘You can’t stay here.’
‘I have nowhere else to go.’
‘Elias — ’
‘No. You made me go back, you made me — I can’t, I told you I can’t, you didn’t listen ... ’
‘Elias, please ... ’
‘If I leave here I shall die.’
She placed her hand carefully on his arm and looked into his eyes. ‘Elias. You won’t die. There is no going back. What happened has happened. It’s the past.’
His gaze was hollow and distant. He had retreated so far away, she wondered how she’d be able to bring him back. And it’s my fault, she thought.
‘Are you hungry?’ she tried.
He shrugged. ‘Perhaps. I can’t tell.’
‘Elias — please come with me.’
He shook his head.
‘In Laithe’s Hollow ... ’ she began, unsure how to go on. She looked at him. He had wrapped his arms around himself and was shivering, rocking to and fro with cold or fear or both.
‘Did you love her very much?’ Agnes heard herself say. Elias stopped still. He stared at her. Then he nodded. ‘And you couldn’t tell Marcus?’
Elias didn’t move. After a while she heard him say, ‘I watched her die.’
Agnes’s voice was a whisper. ‘Show me. Please.’
After a moment, Elias stood up. He patted the horse, whispered into her neck, stroked her, then silently unlocked the stall, whispering goodbyes to his mare as he locked it behind them. Agnes followed him across the yard to the wooden fence. Elias climbed over it and set off across the field, Agnes hurrying to keep up. It was a damp, cloudy night, and her face was wet with the mist, but Elias seemed to know the way.
After a while Agnes recognised the path that led to the hut, but they carried on, climbing upwards, following the way they’d taken the night before. Then they were descending towards the Hollow. Elias stopped suddenly. He was staring into the distance. He raised his arm and pointed.
‘There,’ he whispered.
Agnes strained her eyes in the darkness.
‘That’s where we were.’ He shivered. He seemed so thin and cold that Agnes feared for him, but she took his hand.
‘Come on,’ she said.
They made their way in the direction he’d pointed, skirting the edge of the Hollow until they reached a dry stone wall. Elias suddenly dropped to the ground, his hands over his face, a sobbing noise coming from his throat. ‘I killed her,’ Agnes heard him say.
‘No — ’ Agnes said, but he was shaking his head, saying, ‘It was my fault.’
‘Tell me,’ Agnes said, her hand on his shoulder.
‘We were riding, here, the four of us, me, Kate, Jo and Marcus. She was Marcus’s girlfriend, he adored her.’ He took his hands from his face. ‘She was a better rider than him, and we used to show off, her and me. And I loved her. And — and she loved me. We’d become — we’d become lovers. I think Jo knew, even then. And that day — this wall — you see up there, where it’s raised, it’s quite high, I said, let’s jump it, and Jo called out not to, there was a ditch the other side, it had been flooded. And the worst thing was, I knew, I knew it was dangerous, but I wanted the others to see us doing something together, something crazy, something that excluded Marcus. I wanted Kate to tell Marcus it was over, I knew we should be together, and I wanted him to see ... So — so we went over it.’ He put his hands to his face again. ‘I’ll regret it as long as I live,’ he said.
‘Go on,’ Agnes said.
‘My horse cleared the ditch, I don’t know how, and landed well, even though it was very wet. Kate came after me, and landed very badly, right into the ditch. Her horse slipped, then bolted, terrified, badly lame — shot right past me, I could see something was very wrong, and then down in the Hollow — the horse fell, with Kate under her.’ Elias was shaking, and Agnes took off her coat and wrapped it around him.
; ‘I got there first,’ Elias went on. ‘The others came round by the gate. By the time they arrived ... ’ His eyes filled with tears. ‘I knew I was watching her die. And it wasn’t just ... it wasn’t only ... ’ He was weeping openly now, unable to speak, and Agnes held him. She knew what he was going to say.
‘It was your baby,’ she murmured.
He nodded. ‘She’d only told me a day or two before. Marcus didn’t know. She was a few weeks pregnant. She knew it was mine. That’s why she was going to tell Marcus it was over, she was going to be with me ... Jo went for help and Marcus took her in his arms, and held her and all the time I wanted to fight him out of the way, I wanted to be the one holding her, holding them both, I knew, I alone knew ... I hated him for being there, for being in my place ... Once she opened her eyes and she looked straight at me, and her eyes had this kind of pleading look — I nearly went for him then, so that I could be there, be with her, but I was a coward. I had to stand and watch her die, knowing it was two deaths. And there was no one else I could tell.’ Agnes felt his body racked with sobs. After a while he said, ‘I’ve never loved anyone else. She was my life.’
They sat for some time, sheltered from the wind by the wall behind them. Elias grew calmer. He sat up, gathering Agnes’s coat around him. ‘And William had to come and shoot his horse,’ he said suddenly. ‘That’s why I thought he might come back here.’
‘Let’s go and get warm,’ Agnes said.
She led them to the hut, fishing in her pocket for the key, and once again she lit the fire and the candles, once again she made tea over Joanna’s grate. They drew near to the flames, and Agnes saw their glow reflected in Elias’s face as the colour returned to his cheeks and his shivering ceased.
‘I couldn’t face Marcus afterwards,’ he said. ‘I couldn’t begin to tell him. He still doesn’t know. He wanted to be friends, he couldn’t understand ... ’
‘But now — it’s different now. He’s got a new life, hasn’t he? A wife, a baby ... ’
Elias nodded. ‘We were young. Him and Kate, it wasn’t serious.’ He stared into his mug of tea. ‘But it was for me. For us. My life ended with hers. That’s why I ended up at the school. Before I met Kate I was considering the priesthood. She put a stop to all that, but then — without her ... so that’s what I became. Of course, I’m no good at it, I can’t be. They don’t trust me with a parish ... ’ He tried to smile.
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