by Soraya Lane
“Until tonight then,” she murmured.
“Oh, I have no problem being taken advantage of,” he said, lying back with his arms above his head. “For the record, I’m all yours.”
She refused to take the bait, deciding she’d damn well make him wait if he was going to tease her like that. “Well, if you’re all mine then get up, get dressed, and be ready for a swim in ten minutes. Training starts now.”
He laughed. “Oh, so it’s like that, is it?”
She sat up and took the sheets with her, holding them tight to her body as she got up and walked out.
“What are you trying to hide? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Tanner called out as she headed for her own bedroom.
She giggled as she walked, feeling like a naughty girl caught out late with her boyfriend or trying to sneak back without being seen. This Tanner was like the one she’d fallen for all those years ago, the one she’d yearned for and mourned like he’d died. It couldn’t last for long, but it was the rematch she’d needed, to get him out of her system once and for all, on her terms this time. She would walk away from him, but it would be because she wanted to this time, because it could never work between them, not because someone else was pulling the strings and forcing her hand.
Lauren washed and got into her one-piece, ready to swim alongside Tanner in the pool to help get his strength up. She liked the workout and it was good to be completely hands on with him, to see how far and hard she could push him.
“Lauren?”
She paused and wondered if she’d imagined Tanner’s call. “Do you need me?” she called back.
“Yeah.”
She picked up a towel and carried it under her arm, heading back into Tanner’s room.
“Everything okay?” she asked, before seeing him sitting on the bed, still naked, with a grimace on his face that told her everything was definitely not okay.
“Sorry, I just don’t feel right. My leg, it’s, I don’t know how to describe it, but when I put weight on it, it was weak.”
She dropped to her knees and placed her hands on him, tugging at the tape she’d used to do the strapping with. “Let me take this off, see how you feel.”
Had she pushed him too hard? Had something made him worse instead of helping him?
“I’m sore, but it’s more than that. It’s like my ankle or something is burning.”
“Lie back,” she said, hands resting on his skin and massaging more gently than she had been the day before. “You’ve got a lot of damage there to ligaments and soft tissue, so it was always going to be a slow recovery, but maybe we need to ease off a little, just focus on swimming, massage, and complete rest otherwise.”
She glanced up at him and cracked up when she realized he was lying on his back, with his package on full display. Funny how she could totally ignore the fact that his gorgeous body was on show when she was focused on work.
“Whatever you say, doc,” Tanner said.
Lauren frowned and kept working, knowing that he would never have called out to her and admitted his pain unless it was really bad.
When she’d finished, she stood and held out a hand to him. “Come on, let’s just have a nice swim, and then we can order in breakfast and chill for the rest of the day.”
Tanner took her hand and used some of her weight to pull himself up. When he was standing, at least a foot taller than her, he dropped a kiss to her hair, hand moving to her elbow.
“Thanks,” he said.
She should have asked for what, but she didn’t. She was here as a professional, and yet she wasn’t sure if he was thanking her for the treatment or the booty call the night before.
Tanner hobbled into the bathroom and she went to place their order for breakfast, wanting it to be ready when they finished swimming. She was starving and she wanted Tanner to eat well while he was on her watch, with plenty of fresh fruit and protein.
Lauren went into the living room to make the call, ordering up fruit platters and omelets for two. She stood and waited for Tanner, looking out at the ocean and knowing that she’d never forget their trip for the rest of her life. They could never be together, not after everything that had happened, and they both had such different careers that consumed them, but being with him here, having him back just for a little while, was one hell of a feeling.
“I’m looking forward to that swim,” Tanner said, and she turned to find the man who was consuming her thoughts standing in his swimming shorts, towel over his shoulder.
“Did that at least loosen you up a little?” she asked.
He nodded, but she wasn’t convinced. “Come on then, cowboy. Let’s do a few slow laps and see how we go.”
Lauren left her towel on a lounger, using the tie around her wrist to secure her hair into a ponytail. She watched as Tanner sat and then slipped straight into the water, and she dived in once he moved further into the middle of the pool.
She blinked when she came up and smiled at the man in the water beside her. “Come on, let’s slowly do five laps of breast stroke then see how you’re feeling,” she said. “There’s no better way to build up full body strength in a gentle way than swimming.”
Tanner followed her lead and she let him set the pace, refusing to listen to the voice in her head asking whether she truly believed she’d be able to heal him. He would be fine—of course he would be—but would he be strong enough and fit enough to be number one again? She wasn’t sure. But what she did know was that nothing was going to stop her from doing everything in her power to fix him.
“You look worried,” he said as they turned and headed back in the other direction.
“I’m fine. Come on, let’s switch to freestyle. But take it slow.”
Lauren settled into a slow rhythm, focusing on her breathing, and wondering if she was truly cut out to be his physical therapist by day and his mistress by night.
* * *
Tanner sat outside, holding a beer and looking out at the ocean. He’d thought that sitting on his porch and looking over his ranch was relaxing, but the Fiji beach was something else. The light breeze, the temperature that was pleasant but not too hot, the white sand, the gently lapping ocean—there was nothing not to love about being cast away on a luxury island.
If his body slowly started to improve, and he was able to go home healed and ready to ride for the next season, it would end up being the perfect holiday. And that was before he factored in Lauren. He had no idea what the hell he thought he was doing with her, but what harm could it do? So they’d reconnected—so what? He wouldn’t be second-guessing himself if he’d met some gorgeous brunette on vacation and spent a week having wild holiday sex with her, so why was Lauren any different? And once they boarded the jet to go home it would all be over.
He sighed and took a pull of beer. This was different because it was Lauren Lewis. Former love, the woman who’d ruined him for all others, the one human being in the world he’d genuinely thought he despised. Maybe he’d been fooling himself all along about that last part.
“How are you feeling?” Lauren’s soft voice was warm, like arms being swept around him from behind.
“Good,” he replied, taking another sip of beer before swiveling to look at her. She was dressed in denim cutoffs again and a pretty top, and he wondered if that was part of the attraction. That last summer they’d spent together had been all about her wearing teeny-tiny shorts, lying out in the sun turning dark shades of golden, and swimming. Fiji was turning out to be exactly the same, other than the recovery stuff.
“You want to eat in tonight or go to the restaurant?” she asked. “Or if you want some alone time then I’m happy to dine solo.”
He laughed. “Solo? Not a chance. And for the record, I’d like to eat you.”
Now Lauren was the one laughing, and when she moved closer he hooked his hand around her smooth leg and looked up at her. He didn’t need to say anything, she seemed to know exactly what he was thinking and spun around, slowly sitting in
his lap. She brought her mouth toward his, lips parted expectantly, and Tanner closed the distance, kissing her gently, enjoying the sensation of her weight on him, the feel of her silky, just-washed hair connecting with his skin.
“What the hell are we doing, Tan?” she asked, sighing against his mouth as she touched her forehead to his.
“Kissing,” he replied, finding her lips again.
She kissed him straight back, but slower, their lips just grazing this time. “I mean us,” she finally murmured. “I’ve spent my life—”
“I know,” he said. “Work is work and pleasure is pleasure. I get it.”
“So why am I bending the rules for you?” she asked. “It’s a bad idea, I just know it.”
“Because we’re Tan and Lol,” he teased. “We were voted most likely to be married, remember?”
When she laughed her head tipped back. “Oh my god, you’ve just given me a mental image of us at homecoming. And you’re right, I think everyone had us pegged for being married in college and me barefoot and pregnant.”
“Ah, it wouldn’t have been so bad,” he said.
“For you maybe!” She poked him in the chest. “I always wanted more than that.”
They were both quiet for a while until Tanner ran his hands down her back. “Are you okay with this just being what it is?”
He saw her throat move as she swallowed. “Yeah, I am. You?”
Tanner nodded, looking into her eyes. “Me too. So what’s wrong with two grown adults coming to an agreement about having some fun? This isn’t something we should be beating ourselves up over.”
He knew why he was okay with it, because she was gorgeous and he’d never stopped being attracted to her, but also because he was never going to let her get too close. If she wanted a relationship right now, he’d be running a mile. He couldn’t trust her again, couldn’t let go of the past enough to ever let that happen, but now that they were together, he couldn’t see the point in being chaste.
“Come here,” he said gruffly, reaching for her and coaxing her closer again.
Lauren didn’t kiss him, she just tucked into his chest, cheek against him like she was listening to his heart. Maybe he’d regret getting up close and personal with her, but right now, it was his body begging him to give in, not his heart. His heart was still under lock and key, and as far as he was concerned, no one was ever going to find that key and hurt him. Not now, not ever.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Tanner. I know it was a long time ago, but I don’t think I ever said I’m sorry.”
He stiffened, hating that he was a grown-ass man who could still feel the sting of betrayal from so long ago, so strongly.
“I’m sure you did already,” he murmured back, knowing that it wasn’t true. But it felt like the right thing to say. Besides, what else was he going to say: “It’s about fucking time?” or perhaps “Yeah, nice to know you’re finally admitting what a bitch you were back then.” The past was the past, he needed to move on, and it was different this time. He didn’t want a girlfriend or even a wife. He didn’t have time for one and he didn’t have any interest in settling down.
He forced his shoulders to drop, relaxing into the woman cocooned against him. He needed to enjoy this moment, because being with Lauren would make him forget all about the past. It had been the only negative thing holding him back in his life, and now it needed to be water under the bridge.
He looked down at her, felt a tightening in his chest knowing that in a couple of short weeks, their time together would be over and he’d never see her again.
Chapter 14
LAUREN was starting to get used to waking up with Tanner’s warm body against her. She looked down at him as she silently rose, slipping away from him and leaving him among the rumpled sheets.
Saying goodbye was going to be hard.
She ran her fingers through her hair and headed to her room. The last week had passed by in a lazy blur of morning swims, stretches, food, massages, more food, and slow walks. Going back to her normal routine would be tough, but then it was always hard returning to long working hours after a couple of months off.
It was raining today, but they’d been told there was some wet weather coming, and it wasn’t exactly the best time of year to be in the islands during their rainy season. She stood and stared out, before sighing and changing into her running clothes. Hopefully it would clear enough that she’d be able to get her run in regardless.
“Want to have breakfast then walk the mountain track?”
Tanner’s voice surprised her and she turned, hands on her hair as she scooped it up, finding him standing in the doorway to her room, propped against the frame.
“How long have you been standing there?” she asked.
He shrugged but she could see the hint of a smile and knew he’d probably watched her dress.
“You feel up to the walk?” she asked. They’d been on the island for ten days, and although he was doing great, she didn’t want to push him too hard yet.
“Yes, doc,” he replied. “I think you’ve been doing a damn fine job on me, although it might have been all that sex rejuvenating me.”
Now it was Lauren trying not to smile. Trust him to bring up the sex.
“Maybe we could grab breakfast first, then walk,” she suggested. “Last thing I need is you slipping in the rain and having to carry you back.”
They both laughed then, and Lauren could almost see herself trying to haul Tanner’s six-foot-something body down the track.
“You been online yet this morning?” he asked, running his fingers through his hair. She liked it long, the way it fell forward and brushed his face. He’d had shorter hair back in school, but the length suited him.
“No, why?”
“The storm they’ve been worried about is looking like more of a sure thing,” Tanner said, rubbing at his stubble now. Lauren’s fingers itched to trace his jaw, loving how his shadow of a beard felt in the mornings, but she didn’t move.
“You’re worried?” she asked, grabbing her phone so she could read about it herself.
“Yeah, starting to be. I suppose they’ll brief us if it’s not safe to stay here, but I’d rather have a plan for getting out if we need to. I’ve emailed my travel agent to see if we can book somewhere on the mainland for a couple of days just in case.”
Lauren skimmed through the news and could see why Tanner was so worried. “I hate the idea of being so close to the water here if it gets bad.” She stared at him and saw that he was probably more worried than he was letting on.
“Let’s just enjoy breakfast and go for our walk. I’m feeling good and I’m looking forward to pushing a bit harder today.” Tanner walked toward her, his hands falling to her shoulders as he looked down at her before placing a slow, warm kiss to her lips. “If we need to leave, I’ll have a helicopter sent over to collect us. We’re going to be fine and they’ve probably got the forecast all wrong anyway.”
She looked up at him. “What about all the people who live and work here?” she asked. “I hate that we can just get airlifted out but…”
Tanner placed a finger to her lips. “I’m as worried as you are, and if anyone here needs my help, they’ll have it.” His smile reassured her. “Now let’s go and eat pancakes and bacon. I’m starving.”
“Pancakes? Not a chance,” she argued. “Fruit, omelet—”
“Sorry, sweetheart, but if I eat another goddamn omelet again I’ll throw it back up. I’ll swallow those turmeric tablets without complaining, but I’m eating pancakes and bacon and there ain’t nothing you can do to stop me.”
Tanner stole another kiss and slapped her butt, and it was almost impossible to scowl at him as he winked and walked backward out of the room.
“Hey, I just noticed that you’re hardly limping,” she said.
Tanner looked down and she watched the recognition slowly pass over his face.
“Damn, you’re right.” He laughed. “I’m sore, but in a different kind o
f way. Like my muscles are aching but I don’t feel like an old man so much.”
Now it was Lauren’s turn to laugh. “It definitely must have been the great sex then.”
“Hell yeah.”
She stood alone in her bedroom laughing as Tanner disappeared, wondering how the hell she was ever going to forget the man she loved for a second time.
Loved. There was no pretending otherwise, because she hadn’t simply loved him once. She’d loved him then and she loved him still; she was playing with fire and she had no idea how she was ever supposed to extinguish it.
She decided to pick up the phone and call Casey, needing to just talk to someone else. Being here with Tanner had been amazing, it was amazing, but they’d been isolated and living in this little bubble of wonderfulness, and all she could imagine was how hard it would be when this island world of theirs started to unravel.
It rang six times and Lauren was about to hang up when a breathless Casey picked up.
“Lauren!”
She smiled into the phone, leaning against the glass to look out at the beach. It was so good to hear her friend’s voice again. “Hey, stranger.”
“How’s Fiji? Are you ever going to come home or are you going to stay forever? It must be so gorgeous.”
“It is. I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere like it before,” she said honestly.
“And the company? I’m guessing you’re all loved up with your sexy cowboy?” Casey teased.
“He’s hardly my cowboy,” Lauren said, lowering her voice. “But yes to the loved-up part.”
Casey sighed. “Ohhh, I’m so jealous. You’re on a beautiful island with a beautiful man, and I’m stuck here dealing with work and life.”
She wanted to say But you’re not about to have your heart broken when it all ends, but swallowed her words instead. “So tell me about home? Anything going on?”
“Well, my boss is still an asshole, and I keep fantasizing about leaving my job, but other than that? Not much different than usual.”
Lauren smiled. “Well, maybe we should plan a girls’ trip somewhere tropical,” she suggested. “Something for us all to look forward to.”