Atlas Lost

by Alaska Angelini

  “I don’t think so. As appealing as it sounds, I’ve never seen that done before. I wouldn’t begin to know what to tell you to do.”

  “Isn’t it sort of the same thing as healing? I mean, he healed me.”

  All I could do was shake my head.

  “When we heal, we’re not actually healing you. We’re saving space. We’re boosting your body to heal itself. We help directly. That’s not like this.”

  “Then, I will heal you. Tell me what to do.”

  Pride taunted me to tell her I was fine. That she couldn’t do it. Longing had me grabbing her free hand to put over my heart.

  “This. Healing comes from close to the heart. You must guide the healing to where it needs it the most. In this case, you won’t have to get it to travel far.”

  A sad look swept across her face. “Breathe with me, Atlas. Stay with me, even if I can’t see you. I’ll do my best.”

  “I know you will.”

  I took a deep breath, letting her join my rhythm. Cara’s eyes closed, and minutes passed. To hope she’d make any difference was pointless. She only awakened completely tonight. She’d never done this before. If anything, there was a chance she could throw my chakras out of balance, and then I’d be in a bigger mess than I was now.

  “You really need to have faith in me.”

  One of my eyes opened.

  “Sorry. I forgot you could hear.”

  I’d barely finished before heat began to radiate from her palm. Both of my eyes opened as I stared at her glowing form. A soft light illuminated her body from the inside. One minute, I was staring in stunned silence. The next, I was blasted to my back. I tried sucking in oxygen, but air wouldn’t come.

  “Atlas! Oh my god, Atlas, are you okay?”

  Coughing shook me as I curled into a ball, scraping in air. Cara was grabbing at me, trying to help, but every touch zapped through me like lightening. It pinged around inside me, ricocheting through like an electronic bug zapper I’d once seen on my travels.

  “What the hell was that?”

  Cara moved her head back and forth. Her eyes were so big, the blue was unbelievable. It was bright. So bright, I blinked, then quickly looked around. Even in the darkness, I could see better than I had in years.

  “Atlas.”

  “Wait. Just…not possible.”

  A smile broke across her face, and she laughed. I couldn’t help but join.

  “You did something. What did you do?”

  I pulled her down to me, hugging her tight, and this time, she held on to me too.

  “There was a wall. But not a real wall. Like, a block, around your heart. I didn’t think I was going to get through. I barely did. Atlas, I barely scratched the surface. If I could try again—”

  “No.”

  I cut her off, watching her smile fade.

  “I’m sorry. I hurt you.”

  “It’s not that. It’s you. You have to rest. You’ve pushed yourself too hard tonight.”

  “But I feel fine.”

  “Right now you do. Until we see how you feel tomorrow, I don’t think it would be a good idea. We have to be very careful with you.”

  Cara’s brow creased. “I’m not going to break. If this helps you in the long run, it will be worth it.”

  “Perhaps. And if you’re well tomorrow, you can do whatever you want. Let’s not risk anymore tonight. I’ve seen others rise in density before. When the final change happened, they were never this strong. You’re different. Extraordinary.”

  My pulse skipped a beat at the silence. Cara’s mouth parted, but it wasn’t me who pulled away from the kiss I wanted to give her. She rose, heading for the tent. My head lowered back to the ground, and I groaned, seeing the stars as if for the first time. They were beautiful. She was beautiful. And since she’d broken through my walls, I wanted her more than ever. Was what I suspected about us true?

  The heat flickered inside. Twin flames were a myth. They weren’t real. Soulmates, yes. Leone had been mine, but a twin? They were the ultimate in what was meant to be. Part of your very soul. It was said you could live a thousand lifetimes with a new soulmate. A twin flame…you could only ever have one of those, and thousands of lifetimes could pass before you crossed paths. If ever. Was it possible Cara was mine?

  “Are you coming, or sleeping outside? It’s going to rain. You’ll get wet.”

  As if on cue, a drop splashed against my cheek. I bit my lip as she waved me over, unable to think of anything but the possibility as I stood. Flame. Yes. I was on fire. They said it was a sign to feel heated around your other half. Hell, heated was an understatement at the moment. Each step brought me closer, and with each one, I saw the want grow on her face.

  “I can sleep outside.”

  The tent was small. I kicked off my boots and climbed in. I wasn’t sure why I mumbled the words. I was already inside and knew her answer. It was in her eyes. In her slight whimper as I pulled us down and rolled her beneath me. Cara’s arms wrapped around my neck, and her lips met mine in desperation. The hunger between us broke down my walls even more. I tore at the belt she wore, loosening it before I pushed under the sweater. When I was met with even more material covering her breasts, I broke from her lips, nearly roaring in my need.

  “Take it off. All of it.”

  Just like my last statement, the order was for nothing. I was already removing her clothes. Each layer was thrown in haste. It didn’t make it any easier that she was pulling at mine too. We were a tangled mess of need, growing hotter by the second.

  “Atlas, are you sure? Atlas—”

  I cut her off with my lips, pushing my jeans down as I did. The moan I drank in fed the increasing frequency between us. We both wanted this. It was clear as the light and passion increased.

  “You taste so good. So unbelievably fucking good.” I used my cheek to turn her face as I kissed her jaw and moved down to nibble her neck. Harder, I sucked, raking my teeth to her collarbone before I teased her again. Cara’s hips arched beneath me, and I took in a breath. The ecstasy was unreal. It was more than the pleasure that came as I ground myself against her. Our souls intertwined, joining in the act as much as the physical parts of us.

  “This is right.” Cara’s head lifted as I lowered even more. “Right, Atlas?”

  A soft cry filled the tent as I ran my tongue over her nipple. She ran her fingers through my hair and gripped, holding me against her tighter. I didn’t have to answer her uncertainty. I erased it with my digits as I eased her thighs wider apart. With every inch, I traveled closer to what would soon be mine, using my mind to strengthen our connection. It was a vow between us, more sacred than the three-letter word “yes.” Mate. Twin Flame. Mine. The three words repeated in my mind. In Paltenian, my act alone was an offering. I was hers. She didn’t know that, but I did. King or not, it was who I was. I was forever Cara’s now. I was done questioning why I still existed. I knew why. In a way, I did die when Leone did. I lost everything, including my density. But I was reborn, just as Cara, and together, we’d figure out how to break these ties we held.

  “Atlas.” Her moan filled the tent as I ran my tongue down her stomach. I loved how she was watching me. She loosened her hold on my hair, but didn’t let go as I dipped down to brush over her clit. Full lips parted, and she spread her legs wider, crying out my name. As her taste took over my senses, I was lost in her all over again.

  I pushed into her, taking turns as I sucked against her folds, back and forth. I couldn’t get enough of making her wet. My tongue traced her entrance, and she nearly shattered. Her legs shook, and she pulled me into her harder.

  “I need…I…”

  “You need to let me enjoy this for as long as you can,” I purred, rubbing my face against her. Wetness covered my cheek with her scent, calming the alpha in me that searched for ways to make her part of me even more. To ward off anyone who didn’t know Cara was mine.

  Pain flickered along my neck, branding me along its path. I didn’t care.
I barely felt it as the signal bounced from my chest to my brain. The rewiring was normal. It was the beginning of the mating process. Maybe I should have been more concerned, but I needed this. I needed her more than anything.

  “What is that?”

  Easing my finger into her entrance, I sucked against her clit. “Normal” was all I could force into her mind. She was moving against me more. Rocking her hips as her sounds grew more intoxicating.

  “That’s it. Let me taste you.”

  I flicked my tongue at a fast pace, holding Cara’s hip, and thrust back into her entrance as she began to spasm with her release. With each jerk of her body, I held her steady. She couldn’t take this away from me. I was so wrapped around the need to claim her, the thought was inconceivable. She’d destroy me if she tried to make me stop…if I could stop.

  “God. Yes. Atlas.”

  Her breath left her in pants, turning to puffs of smoke in the cold. The mate in me immediately zeroed in, blindly grabbing the blanket to cover the top half of her while I continued to savor her taste. I moved my face over the wetness more, pausing as Cara tossed the blanket to the side.

  “Too hot. Come up here.”

  “Five more minutes.”

  “Two,” she said, rocking.

  “Four.”

  Her fingers once against locked in my hair, and I closed my eyes so I could take her into me at an even deeper level. To places I’d never forget. Time passed, barely registering as Cara’s moans turned louder. I gave one last lick, taking my time as I moved my way back up. When my tongue swirled over her breast, Cara grabbed the sides of my face, bringing her lips to mine. The head of my cock nudged into her opening, and I moved forward. The warmth had me nearly surging into her heat. She was so hot and tight, I broke away long enough to focus so I wouldn’t hurt her. I wasn’t human. I wasn’t fit for her race. It was possible we wouldn’t be able to mate at all. The mere thought nearly made me unravel. She was mine, and that was the end of it.

  “I’m going to go slow. I’ll hold your energy, but you have to tell me if I hurt you.”

  “You’re overthinking this. Kiss me.”

  There was a spike of what I could only assume was fear. It wasn’t heavy. More…present. Obeying, I met her lips. For what felt like longer than I could withstand, I let our tongues slide against each other. Cara’s nails dug into the backs of my shoulders while she moved against me, trying to bring me deeper. I didn’t allow it. I let her build up, knowing it was the only way. I had one chance to make this perfect. I wasn’t going to ruin our first time for either of us.

  “Atlas, please. I can’t wait. I don’t want to.” Her legs drew up high on my hips, and I grabbed the back of her thigh, easing forward, watching her expression. Cara’s eyes grew in size, her lips parting before she moaned. I withdrew, inching in even more as I thrust forward. I kept the pace slow, my movements even slower. The more I entered her, the harder it was to stop the shaking. The pain was coming back, but slightly off to the side of my neck where it had started before. The branding grew toward my jawline, and pride left me kissing her with more passion that I’d allowed myself.

  Words began to leave me in my native language. Words of loyalty. Of love and devotion. Of our joining forever. Cara stared into my eyes as if she were understanding and accepting it all. All of me, through whatever our mating meant. And maybe she did understand. We were the same. We were one.

  “That was beautiful.”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  “Show me. Give me more.”

  A cry followed as warmth trickled down my back from where she had broken the skin. She was starting to try to take control. My hand on the back of her thigh slid higher, gripping her waist as I held her frequency. She was okay, but one wrong move, she wouldn’t be. I was barely halfway in and her tightness was blissfully killing me. Worse, I was so fucking close, I could barely continue at all.

  “Stop holding back. You won’t hurt me.”

  “I will.”

  “Do you trust me?”

  I paused, staring into her eyes. My answer was automatic. It was ingrained in our new bond.

  “Hold me.”

  Arms came around my neck as her legs lifted higher. I withdrew, sliding back inside her with more speed, withdrawing, and pushing even further with more force. Air trapped in Cara’s lungs, and the deep sound she let out encouraged me even more. My hips pulled back, and I buried myself. A scream filled the tent, but not of pain. Teeth bit into my chest, and the pulsing against my cock was sweet torture. My rhythm increased, crazed with encouragement. Cara was mine in every way. Given the stinging on my chest and back, I prayed I had more than the new brand on my neck to show for it. I’d wear every mark, every scar, anything she’d give me, proudly.

  “You’re perfect. This is perfect.”

  My lips pressed into hers feverishly. With nothing holding me back, I held a steady pace, savoring each thrust that kept us joined. Our connection was everything in my moment. It was day, night, moon, sky. It was every star I had stared up at in Los Angeles and prayed to. My heart broke open, and I slowed, shaking through the most painful round of bonding. Complete acceptance.

  Cara trailed her fingers down my cheek in concern, but I didn’t stop. The closer I got to my own release, the worse it became. I couldn’t hold back. She was getting hotter, and her scent was beginning to seductively overpower me. It strengthened, searing inside my nose and throat, becoming part of me. I growled, surging into her hard as my warrior stalked from the dark corners of my soul. Faster, I thrust, letting him feel her, to see her in my mind…claim her as our own. Soft kisses trailed up my neck, and I knew we would never back down. We’d never let her out of our sight or experience pain again. Even after death, Cara would only belong to me.

  Chapter 15

  Cara

  Did one lose their sense of self when they awakened, or did they uncover a self they weren’t aware they had? The question kept repeating as I let the night’s events play out. The woman Atlas had taken was not the woman who lived within me now. She was the same, but new. She was strong and proud. A mirror of the man she stared at. Yes. We were mirrors. We were the same, at such a level, I wouldn’t have believed it had I not seen our souls split for myself. But me, awakened? It seemed too good to be true, even if it had been a rough transition. It was amazing. Lovely. Or maybe I was so happy because I felt whole for the first time in my life. Whole because of him.

  Atlas.

  He’d been sleeping for hours. Dawn came and went. My senses told me it was close to noon, but I didn’t care. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. More so than Ri, who looked like he had been plucked from a magazine. Atlas had character. Depth. The growth on his face only accentuated that. Tattooed arms held me, and my eyes kept returning to the tattoo on the side of his neck. Purple and greens swirled, and I knew it was more than just some design. What, though, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t even care at the moment. I was on cloud nine but going numb.

  Wincing, I tried to roll over. Invisible needles stabbed into my leg, but it didn’t compare to the fire that flared the length of my back, up to my hairline. I tried to reach behind me, but the way Atlas was entwined with my body, it was impossible. Again, I tried to roll. My movements had his eyes fluttering open, and a smile beamed from his face. His hand flattened on the middle of my back, hugging me close and hard, but my joy was stripped away as I stiffened and cried out from the pain.

  “Cara?”

  He flew to his elbow, his hands racing down my body as he began to inspect me.

  “It’s my back. It’s killing me. I think I might have gotten into something.”

  I could barely finish before he was rolling me to my stomach. The gasp sent my head shooting up.

  “What is it? Is it bad?”

  “I don’t believe it.”

  “Atlas?”

  His light touch grazed over what felt like welts.

  “You’re…” He reached up to his neck, holding
it as he helped me sit. Slowly, his hand dropped, and thick white lines made almost the same design as the tattoo I’d just been staring at.

  I grabbed my shoulder, my mouth flying open as I caught a hint of elaborate swirls intertwined with jagged slashes. From what I could see, mine appeared a replica of his own, just with more decoration.

  “What is this? Was that supposed to happen?”

  Instead of an answer, he moved his head around to continue to stare and trace the lines.

  “I’ve never seen one so big. I mean, not all female mates get them, but some do.”

  “Wait. Mates?”

  “Yes. It’s the bond written in the flesh. Like vows through branding. No two are alike.”

  “Mates?”

  Atlas narrowed his eyes, his demeanor changing as he grabbed for his shirt and jeans. Aching webbed in my chest, and I pushed against it, reaching for him. It wasn’t mine. The pain belonged to him.

  “I hurt you.”

  “I’ll get breakfast.”

  “No.” I rose to my knees, fitting my palm over his own brand. Heat radiated from his in the same way. My touch was gentle as I eased and traced the lines on the opposite side. “That’s Leone’s?”

  Lips pursed the smallest amount, and sadness followed.

  “It was.”

  “I’m glad you got it.” Brown eyes lifted, but he stayed quiet, separated from me. I didn’t like it. “Atlas, I won’t pretend that I knew what would happen between us last night. I didn’t, but what I said was not a lie. I wanted you.”

  “But not with these consequences.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “You’re afraid.”

  “I am. I won’t deny that. Ri—”

  He pressed his fingers against my lips. “Don’t say his name. Not today. It’s a sacred day. A precious day. What happens with him will happen. I won’t give you back. Not while I’m alive.”

  I could feel the blood drain from my face as Atlas crawled from the tent. My stomach was suddenly in knots, and I didn’t feel well. I hadn’t felt good all morning, but the reality of our actions was transcribed in our skin forever. And they could be the death of us. They could be more than that.