But I’d given up violence, for the sake of violence, a long time ago. It had been for the best. Had I not, my life would have been a whole lot rougher.
I missed it, though. The feel of adrenaline coursing through my veins. My heart hammering triple time in my chest with enough energy to power up a city block. But I’d gone and made all the wrong choices. Hurt someone who didn’t deserve that sort of brutality.
Brushing off my own demons, I forced the past back and focused on Charlotte as she hovered over me.
“Can you stand?” she asked, putting her hand out to help me up.
When I gained my feet, the crowd around me stepped back, giving me room to breathe. Charlotte hadn’t let go of my hand, and it made me wonder why. “You okay, luv?”
Her hand went over her mouth.
“Charlotte?” Cherry said, bumping her shoulder into Charlotte’s as if saying her name wasn’t enough to get her attention.
She jolted. “Is he gone?”
Cherry gave her a slight nod. “His friend loaded him in the car. Said to tell you he’s really sorry and that he’ll make sure he never comes back here again. I tell ya, Char, that guy has more than a few screws loose.”
“I’d like to know who keeps inviting him after I’ve said more than once I don’t want him here. Gives me the creeps the way he watches me. I think Charlie shot him over the edge, though. Maybe now he won’t come back,” Charlotte said, hand gripping mine a little harder as she spoke.
He probably wouldn’t have snapped had I not been such a wanker and kissed Charlotte in front of him. He might have just acted like a nuisance and drank himself into a stupor. “I’m sorry. I probably made it worse.”
“Don’t you dare apologize. Dude had that coming for a long time. Problem is, all these chicken-shit guys are scared of him,” Cherry said, eyeing a cluster of scrawny-looking blokes like she’d wanted them to overhear.
“Give them a little credit, Cherry. The last time one of them tried to say something to him, they took one hit and were knocked out cold. Phil, wasn’t it?” Charlotte recounted.
A slight shiver worked through her, crawling up my arm as it searched for a way through the both of us.
“I think it’s best if ye get the lot of them cleared out. It’s been a long day, and Charlotte could use some quiet,” I said, taking the situation on as if it were my own house.
Cherry looked to Charlotte. She nodded once, and then Cherry went into action. “Party’s over. Go home,” she said as she waved her arms in a shooing motion.
To my surprise, everyone packed up and left, calling out goodbyes behind them as they went.
Cherry was last to go as she scurried around the yard with a trash bag, picking up what little bits of garbage were left behind. When she was finished, she tossed the bag over the fence and dusted her hands as she walked up and hugged Charlotte tightly.
Charlotte hugged her back one handed, because she still hadn’t let go of me.
When Cherry stepped back, she wagged her finger in Charlotte’s face. “You are not to step foot in the store tomorrow.”
Charlotte sighed.
“No… I mean it. You’re on vacation,” Cherry said, flicking her eyes up to mine. “She’s on vacation. Make sure you keep her real busy or else she’ll sneak out and be somewhere in the back room taking inventory or sorting the arriving shipments.”
“That’s not coming for another two days,” Charlotte said, giving Cherry a stern look.
Cherry glared back at her. “VA…CA…TION.”
I leaned slightly into Charlotte and said, “I think she means it, luv.”
Charlotte squared her shoulders. “Fine. But you’re not going to stop me from calling to check in.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it, boss lady. A’right, I’m outtie. Check you peeps later,” Cherry said with a wave over her shoulder.
“And you lot think I talk strange. What did she just say?” I asked with a slight shake of my head.
“Later,” Charlotte called after her.
And then, we were alone in her backyard.
Steam from the hot tub rose against the night air. There was a slight breeze that cooled enough to be just right for a long soak.
I gave Charlotte’s hand a gentle tug, and she willing walked with me over to the side of the hot tub. Her fingers dipped in the water as she looked up at the half moon. “It’s too bright to really see the stars.”
After helping Charlotte up the steps of the hot tub, I told her I’d go round and lock up.
“Can you shut off the floodlight? The switch is on the wall by the back door. Oh, and Charlie? Can you bring out a couple of waters?” she asked before closing her eyes with a sigh of something like contentment as she stuck her feet into the water, not yet getting all the way in.
“Sure,” I answered, watching the way her head tipped back. The way her lips looked as if she kissed the night.
THE HOUSE WAS LOCKED, THE light was off, and Charlotte’s requested water was in my hands along with a bag of crisps.
Moonlight flickered over the water, bathing Charlotte’s skin in a luminous pearl glow.
When she heard the sound of my approach, she opened her eyes, squinting against the darkness as she called my name with a hint of weariness.
“All locked up, and look, I brought dinner,” I said, holding the crisps out to her.
She laughed. “Yum. My favorite.”
I didn’t have any of my clothes with me, so changing into a pair of shorts wasn’t an option. However, I could go without my underwear later, so I stripped off my jeans and slid into the hot tub across from Charlotte.
She grabbed the crisps, proceeding to open them and crunch her way through half the bag.
“You weren’t kidding, eh? Those really are your favorite?” I said, handing her a bottle of water.
“They are, but it’s more of a comfort thing, really,” she answered, peering down into the bag.
“And what sort of comfort can crisps give?” I asked, not really understand what she meant.
She snorted. “You’d be surprised. Nothing like chewing on something really crunchy to help sort out your frustrations. It also gives you the gratifying sense of crushing something, even if it’s just deep-fried potatoes.”
“Right. Well, who am I too judge such logic? By all means, crush away. And then, when yer done, maybe you’ll tell me what’s amiss that makes ye want to hurt all those poor potatoes,” I said, giving her a disarming smile. A smile I knew by heart without having to look at my own face. A smile I usually used to get my way, but in this case, it was just a smile I used because it felt right. It felt natural, and it most definitely wasn’t being used in any untoward way.
She ducked her head, hiding something from me. If she blushed, I couldn’t know because her face was in the shadows.
When she didn’t answer right away, I decided to close my eyes and lean my head back. Relaxing, even though I couldn’t have felt less like it. Maybe Charlotte would relax again too instead of sitting opposite me like a frightened bird who would fly away but for the fact the predator held it in an unbreakable gaze.
“Charlie?” she called to me.
“Yes, luv,” I whispered.
“Can I ask you something?”
The water rippled against my chest as if she’d sat up.
“Why did you kiss me?”
I cracked one eye open to look at her. I’d been right; she was sitting on the edge of the seat, arms crossed on her knees as she waited for me to answer.
How did I answer that when I didn’t even know the exact reason? Had it been I wanted to stake some sort of moronic claim on her? Maybe. Or had it been to shut Stuart’s mouth? That he’d leave her alone if he thought she was with someone else? Or the third possibility was that a wave of jealousy raged so hard inside of me that kissing her had been the only way to quell it.
None of those reasons were good enough to say. There was no excuse either. Faced with a tough decision, I knew I had t
o say something. Had to answer the best I could.
“Would you believe me if I told you that I really don’t know?” I answered.
There was an explosion of water as she stood. “I should have known you’d evade the question.”
I stood, glaring at her as my mouth overrode my common sense. Words rushed out before I even had a chance to think about them. “How can ye expect an answer when I bloody well don’t even know what it is myself? I’ve never had someone twist me up inside the way you have. Never thought once, in my entire life, I’d be so bloody out of control of myself. But you? You sit there all… all… Ye’ve had me in knots since I met ye. That’s not me! That’s not who I am. I don’t stay, Charlotte. I leave. I pick women who are okay with that. No one gets hurt that way.”
She blinked. Opened her mouth. Closed it, and then blinked again before she spoke.
“I twist you up? Do you even know what it is you’ve done to me? Or do you not care?”
I quieted a sigh. “If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be here right now.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” she asked, taking another verbal jab at me.
“It would hardly be fair of me to think that,” I answered, wishing more than anything she could understand the torment I felt alongside her.
“There is nothing fair about any of this. You can’t go around kissing people and expecting them to feel nothing. It’s like going to bed with someone. No matter what, someone walks away with feelings, even if they don’t want to,” she said. Her tone had started out sharp only to end softly.
I nodded. “In most cases. But there are those who are in it for the pleasure and nothing more. They’re broken, ye might say. As broken as I am. Fairness aside, you deserve more. You deserve better. I’m neither of those things.”
She bit her lip and turned her head, but not quick enough to hide the tears rimming her lashes.
“I should have stayed away, Charlotte. I’m sorry,” I said, reaching out to touch her shoulder, but I dropped my hand before I made another mistake.
I wasn’t kidding when I told her I thought she deserved so much more.
“So that’s it then? It doesn’t matter how I feel, so long as you can avoid feeling anything?” she whispered.
I moved to sit back on the ledge of the hot tub. Keeping my distance seemed to be the best thing for both of us. “It has to be. We’re better as friends. No one gets hurt that way.”
She turned so fast that, had I not reached for her, she probably would have fallen. “You don’t get to make decisions for me, Charlie. You don’t get to tell me what’s right and wrong. Good or bad. And God forbid if I chose to care about you, maybe even love you, you have no damn say.” She grabbed the back of my neck, teeth bared as she pulled my head closer to hers. “And if I should decide I love you, there isn’t a fucking thing you can do about it.”
She kissed me so hard it broke the skin of my lip, but I didn’t care.
I pulled back enough to free my lips. “Woman, ye challenge me. Ye don’t know what it is ye ask for.”
“Maybe I don’t. But I know one thing—I need you like I’ve never needed anything before in my life. Damn the consequences.”
I pulled her legs on either side of my lap and tried with everything in me to quiet the nagging voices in my head because there was no damn way I could set her aside from me.
If she needed me, I needed her just as much. Maybe even more.
I KNEW WHAT I WAS doing—losing my ever-loving mind just like I had envisioned myself doing under the spell of Charlie’s smile. A smile I’m sure had been breaking hearts since before he even realized he had the power.
All he had to do was flash those pearly whites and run his fingers down my neck just so, like a perfectly rehearsed move from an equally perfect romantic film, and I was as pliable as putty.
And there wasn’t a thing I wanted to do to stop it.
I knew he was going to kiss me again. Could see the heat rising in his gaze as he pulled me onto his lap and ran his fingers down my back. Part of me wondered if it was because I was so desperately willing it to happen that had made it happen, or if it was some cosmic force that kept circling us back into each other’s orbits. But, either way, all that mattered was his butter-smooth lips were parting. My fingers were figuratively crossed behind my back that we were going to finally seal the deal.
Whoever said crossing your fingers didn’t work?
Our lips connected, and I willingly surrendered every inch of me to him. Forgave the past and believed it wouldn’t happen again. Within seconds of fevered kisses and heavy breathing, it was as if Charlotte checked out and a whole other person took my place.
A wild person without inhibitions.
I pulled at the strings of my bikini, leaving no room for doubt as his lips moved from my lips to my neck, and then wasted no time finding my breasts. He growled against my skin, sending erotic shivers down my spine as he pulled me closer. Fog filled my brain as I felt him press against me.
There was no more thinking. It was animal instinct.
I needed him inside me.
Like yesterday.
His tongue found mine. They danced as his hands worked down my backside and into my shorts, cupping my ass as he slid them as far as he could until we had no choice but to break away from each other to finish undressing. Water splashed around us as insanity took over.
Every second we didn’t touch was a second too long.
His underwear had disappeared as we found each other again, the water between us allowing us to rub against each other in a way that sent my nerves spiraling over the edge of bliss.
His lips trailed down my neck, tongue tracing the outline of my collarbone as my head tilted up to the stars twinkling over us.
“Tell me what you want,” he said against my skin, the deep notes in his voice like tiny hands of pleasure massaging me.
“You,” I said in a daze, hands roaming over every inch of skin I could touch. Over the hills of his biceps and down the valley of his abs. I tried not to go completely mad when his hands slid their way over every inch of my skin he could visibly touch.
“Tell me what you want me to do then,” he said as he nipped at my breast, and then looked deep into my eyes, daring me with brazen desire.
My brain was a flurry of words that didn’t make sense. A book of images that made my cheeks burn. I wanted him in ways I never wanted anyone before.
He moved to my other breast, circling his tongue around my nipple as he watched my expression, waiting for my answer.
“Tell me,” he said, this time a little more demanding.
“I want you to fuck me,” I admitted freely, enjoying the openness between us. I imagined him taking me to some secret room where pleasure transformed into something more than missionary.
A dark grin hooked on his lips, and then he lifted me up until I was sitting on the edge of the hot tub, exposed and willing. There was a certain sensuality I had never felt before as I sat out in the open night, naked in front of the man I’d dreamt about.
My skin was electric. Every shift of the breeze felt like hands on my body. He watched me as his hands slid along the slippery skin of my thighs, taking their time to part them. And when he slowly sank back into the water and disappeared between my legs, his lips pressing against every spot of skin except the very spot I needed him to be on, I felt like I was already near the edge.
After a few seconds of tender kissing, he looked up at me and said, “When I feel your body surrender to me, that’s when I’ll take ye how ye want me to take ye.”
Holy mother of Jesus.
I half-nodded as his eyes disappeared again and the heat of his mouth pressed against my sensitive flesh. I could barely keep it together as he licked and sucked until I swear the stars I saw were directly in front of me and not up in the sky.
This… this was every fantasy I ever had about us actually happening. This was a whole new level of sex I had yet to experience, that I
so desperately wanted to. I wanted to be at his command. Needed to please him just as much as he pleased me.
My hand gripped the back of his head, trying to tell him how close he had me. He pulled back, lightly licking, and then kissed the inside of my thighs on up to my breasts, where he lingered. His hand slid between my thighs, pushing them as wide as they would go, and then he stood and grabbed my hand, guiding it to his erection.
He groaned against my kiss as I worked my hand up and down. I felt alive and awake as I watched the desire spread across his face. His hand wove through my hair and lightly pulled until my face was upright, easy to kiss.
When his eyes found mine, I knew it then—I was his.
He slowed my hand before reaching over the edge of the hot tub for his pants. A funny feeling circled in my stomach as I realized he was reaching for protection. As I realized he had it on him, just in case.
With the condom left on the side of the hot tub, he dipped back down into the water and ran his fingers along my thighs until they shivered. He grinned when they did this, and then slid his hands ever so gently over my breasts, waiting for the same reaction.
“You’re the single most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he said as he leaned in and ran his tongue over my nipples. Kissing his way back down my stomach, he finished what he started, taking me right to the edge, and then pushing me over it as his fingers slid inside me and his tongue danced circles over my skin.
I had to hold onto his head to keep from falling backward as my legs locked around him, encasing him.
He didn’t stop there.
He already had the condom on and was between my legs before I even opened my eyes.
“Look at me,” he commanded as he pressed himself at my opening. “I want ye to look at me as I take ye.”
I held my breath, desperate for him to enter me as his hands grabbed onto my hips. And, with one swift thrust, he entered me, shooting a spike of pleasure through me I could feel all the way to the tips of my toes and fingertips.
“Charlie,” I called out as he kissed me with his eyes on mine, slowly pulling himself back until he was almost out.
When Two Hearts Collide (Game of Hearts Novels Book 3) Page 10