“Bloody great. You have, but I haven’t,” I said, talking to what was left of the ale in my glass.
“Is it talking back to you, Mate?” Ed asked, giving me a start.
“What the hell ye doin’ here? Don’t you have some fancy soiree to go to?” I asked, handing him my glass and gesturing for him to give me a refill.
“I do. Delia and Hannah are already there getting done up. Figured I’d hang back here a bit,” Ed answered, releasing the handle of the tap, but not yet looking at me.
I knew the look. It said he was feeling out how I was without having to outright ask me.
“Thanks, mate,” I said when he set the full glass in front of me.
He bent, resting his elbows on the bar, and cast a look around before asking, “So what are you doing here all by yourself? Seems to me sitting in the dark, alone, doesn’t seem like much fun.”
“Didn’t much feel like being at home,” I answered, taking a drink. With any luck, Ed would realize I wasn’t up to being social. It was best I was left alone to wallow in my misery.
“Why don’t you come with me? I know ye own at least one decent shirt, even if ye look like shit. Took a good one to the face, eh?” Ed leaned closer, one eye squinted as if it would help him see the bruise bloomed just under my eye like an ink stain.
“It happens,” I answered. It happened about an hour after Charlotte broke what was left of my heart. The fight had been over and done in less than three minutes after I let the wiry little bloke get one good shot in on me. A reminder that I was the master of my own pain. That I called the shots on who could hurt me.
“…and Delia could use an extra set of hands, so….”
I blinked, clearing the memory of my last fight from the backside of my eyes, catching the last bit of what Ed was saying.
I thought of every argument, every reason why I didn’t want to go, and every one of those reasons stacked up on my tongue, halting the actual words to come out of my mouth. Instead, I shook my head at him and made something like a strangled grumble.
“Oh, come on. What are you going to do? Sit here in the dark between fights and wallow in your own self-made misery?” Ed asked, crossing his arms as he scowled at me.
“What does it matter to you?” I asked.
Ed threw his hands up. Leaning in to get eye level with me, he said, “It matters, ye arsehole, because yer my friend. And it matters because I know what she means to ye. And… if ye could see past the end of yer own nose, ye’d realize she feels the same way.”
My shoulders instinctively hunched up around my ears as I said. “Go away, Ed.”
I wanted him to go. To leave and get away from me before I crumbled. Before everything I’d kept buried, or maybe leashed in place, broke free. But he wouldn’t go. He just kept staring at me as if contemplating something. And then… then he dropped the equivalence of an atom bomb on me when he said, “She’s still here. And she’ll be at the party. Do ye want her or not?”
Excitement. Anger. Fear. They all bubbled inside of me. All bounced off one another and merged, creating a feeling that had no name. Did I want her? Of course I did. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been such a miserable asshole with some sort of vendetta against myself. But what I wanted didn’t matter. If Charlotte was done with me, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.
Ed rapped the bar with his knuckles and said, “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
The back door opened, closed, and then opened again. Ed was standing beside me again, a mask dangling from his fingers. “Put that on and let’s see if it hides that eye of yours. Can’t be scaring the other guests with you walking around like the Beast.”
I curled my lip in a snarled response as Ed tossed the mask at me.
DELIA AND HANNAH HAD OUTDONE themselves. Every square inch of the room looked like a fairy tale brought to life. Little lights winked in and out of gauzy muslin and sheer mesh. Bodies, swathed in yards of lace and silk, floated around the room.
I wasn’t sure what I’d expected, but it hadn’t been such a large crowd. A man could be anyone in the sea of penguin suits surrounding me. Fighting the urge to tug at my collar and adjust my mask one more time, I followed a few feet behind Ed. We’d agreed it best neither Hannah nor Charlotte knew I was there, least one or both of them decide to brain us with a full champagne bottle.
Disguise was key. The mask Ed gave me concealed my face for the most part. The soft lighting took care of the rest. Anyone who looked at me would see a random guy in a mask attending a charity function. The stress knotting my shoulders gave a little as I melted into the crowd and found a spot to stand that would allow me to see most of the room. As long as I could pick Ed out of the crowd, I’d be able to make out Hannah and Charlotte.
What would she say when she saw me? My stomach clenched at the thought. Would she pretend for the sake of not ruining Hannah’s night? Would she knee me in the balls and take off? A nervous sweat broke out along my hairline as a wave of heat boiled up under my clothes.
Please God, don’t let me lose her. I’ll change. I’ll stop fighting. I’ll give up the pub. It doesn’t mean more to me than she does. I’ll let it all go if she really loves me. I wasn’t the praying type, but at that moment, I’d take all the help I could get.
I wasn’t sure if it was timing. Fate. Or God. But there she was, standing across the room like a fairy-tale princess just waiting for her prince to sweep her off her feet and carry her off into the sunset.
I longed to pull her into my arms and usher her to a quiet spot, yet I also longed to stay right where I was and take in her beauty. I waved a waiter over and took two flutes of champagne from his tray. He gave me a slight nod and continued through the groups of people who chatted as they waited for the music to start. Around the room, tables were set up well away from the dance floor. The scent of food wafted out from the closed door behind me. Slowly, as if waking from a night terror, life, and everything I’d missed while trying to escape it, came back to me. The room seemed brighter, happier. The air sparked with mystery and excitement. It hummed through me, and I lit up from the inside with it. It felt like… hope. Like a new beginning. I couldn’t wait to see where all of it took me.
I moved then. Away from the corner and toward Charlotte, I was drawn in by the invisible hold she had on me, yet had no idea of herself.
Her hair was swept off the slender column of her neck. I yearned to trail light kisses there until she shuddered. She moved slightly, sending sparks of rainbow colors from the earrings she wore. Her head tilted back with a laugh when Ed bowed over her hand. She curtsied in response.
I stopped then, moving back into the crowd while I took in every single move she made, and I felt it warm me.
Something Ed told me before we’d left the pub tickled my memory. Something about looking like a beast. Weird that the thought popped into my head when I looked at Charlotte as she beamed like the sun shone on her. It clicked then, and I couldn’t help contain the smile itching to pull my lips into a genuine smile. The setting. The gown. The masks. My Charlotte, decked out in the color of the sun, was the belle of the ball. The only thing missing was a talking candlestick and a clock.
Hannah bounced with excitement. Her motions were jerky as she spun Charlotte around to face my direction. Something, I wasn’t sure what, was afoot. Squeals rent the air. Charlotte stood openmouthed for a minute before launching herself at a gowned woman who pulled her into a hug so tight they looked like a giant bumblebee with Charlotte’s yellow gown overlapped with the newcomers black one.
When they pulled apart, they squealed again, pulling Hannah into the mix. Ed darted a look in my direction and gave me a thumbs-up. I shifted slightly, hoping neither of the girls saw him do it. There was no chance of that happening though; they were too wrapped up in each other.
Ed gave Hannah a brief word before leaving the trio to their devices. He headed toward me and gave me the signal to follow him.
“Who is that?” I aske
d, handing him one of the glasses of champagne in my hand.
Ed smirked, took a sip of bubbly, and then said, “That is the infamous Maggie.”
“Maggie? Here? Did Charlotte know she was coming?” I asked, feeling more than a little dumbfounded.
“No. It was Hannah’s idea of reinforcements. Maggie couldn’t catch a flight in earlier. Otherwise, their reunion would have been behind closed doors,” Ed answered with a laugh.
“Maggie left her island oasis to come here for this?” I asked, casting a quick glance about me.
Ed slapped me on the back and said, “Mate, do ye not know anything about women at all? They flock together when one of them is hurting. Best not rile one, or the whole roost will come down on ye.”
I shook my head. “A man doesn’t need one, let alone three, ready to tear him to shreds. I’m just lucky Cherry’s not here.”
“Who said I wasn’t?” she said as she seemed to come out of nowhere, yanking my arm down to peer into my eyes.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph… the whole fucking crew is here?” I asked, cringing when Cherry’s lips curled up into something like a snarl.
“Reinforcements, mate. I did warn ye.” Ed laughed before disappearing into the crowd.
“So hotshot… the two of you done tearing each other’s worlds apart yet?” Cherry asked, hand propped on her hip in a stance that outlined all of her curves in the form-fitting bright red dress she wore.
I winked at her, eyed the display of cleavage she sported, and said, “I hope ye don’t sneeze. Yer tits will pop right up out o’ that dress like a jack-in-the-box.”
She busted out laughing. Teeth, pearly white, caught the lighting and sparkled. “I like you, Charlie. You’ll be good for her. But seriously… you two done messing with each other’s heads yet?”
I sighed, fighting the urge to shrug. I had no answer, or at least not a good one. “It’s complicated, Cherry, and you know it. We’ve hurt each other so much in such a short amount of time. How do you get over all of that and make it work? Especially when we don’t even live in the same country.”
She elbowed me. “You commute, dummy.”
“Commute?” Could it really be that simple?
Cherry gave me a ‘duh’ look and said, “It’s 2016. People do that shit all the time. Oh look, there’s Maggie.”
She left me to stew on what she said, bounding over to where the women chatted away like a group of clucking hens.
The lights flashed briefly to announce the beginning of the evening and cue the band. They took their place on stage along with a smattering of applause. The first hauntingly lonely notes from a single violin called out to our awaiting ears. The ball had officially begun.
I’D GIVEN HER TIME TO catch up with Cherry and Maggie. Given her a little peace and some laughter to soothe all the raw nerves I’d exposed on her. I’d waited, paced, and waited some more before venturing over to where she was. And damn me if I wasn’t too late. Some oversized bloke in a suit that strained at the seams escorted her out to the floor right in front of me.
Charlotte, being polite, I was sure, had accepted his invitation to dance. Accepting it and enjoying it were two different things though. And by the looks of it, she really didn’t want to be held so close by a total stranger, nor led around the room with his hand creeping lower and lower as if he had no idea at all where her waist was.
“Well, are you going to go save her, or am I?” Ed asked, coming up alongside of me.
“I am,” I growled before setting out across the floor to rescue my belle from the thick-headed brute who held her a little too close.
He’d had no choice but to accept my cut in. She had a choice, though, and she took it like a lifeline. “Thank you,” she said, almost instantly relaxing.
I grunted as if to say ‘you’re welcome,’ and took her into the first turn of our dance. She moved with me as if we’d been born to dance together. Neither of us said much, but we were very much aware of the other. She broke the silence first.
“You dance very well,” she said.
“As do you,” I answered, voice pitched low because my throat felt as if it were locking up on me just by being back within touching distance of her.
Her mask moved slightly as if she’d scowled. “You seem familiar. Have we met?”
I nodded. It was now or never—time to lay it all out and tell her how I felt. Tell her what she meant to me. Across the room, a door leading to the outside porch was left open, probably to allow a little fresh air to circulate into the crush of people. I swept Charlotte into a turn. When she came out of it, I pulled her arm through my own and walked her off the dance floor.
She went willingly with me, if only for the blessedly cool air. Once we were at the railing, I let her go and stood beside her as we both breathed deeply of the night.
“Phew, thanks for bringing me out here. It was getting really warm. Is it always like that, warm, I mean, at these sort of events?”
I bit my lip, feeling the rapid beating of my heart as it hammered in my chest. When I turned to her, seeing her in profile as she stared up at the crescent moon, I said, “I don’t know. I’m not much on parties like this.”
She startled beside me with a quiet hiss of surprise. “It’s you… isn’t it?”
“And it’s you. Please don’t leave,” I said, putting my hand on her arm, but not holding her. I’d never force her to me again. She stilled, swaying in indecision, but she didn’t bolt either. “I’ve never loved anyone in my life. I’ve never felt what it would be like knowing what I’d be missing once it was gone. And then you came along. You… you fill this place inside of me that I never knew I had. You are it for me. My soul mate. My other, better half. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’ll never hurt you again. I understand if it’s too late for you, and I’ll let you go because I love you enough for you to be happy. No matter what, as long as you’re happy, I’ll be all right.”
I left her standing there, hands clutching the railing, and backed away, hoping to slip out into the night with the last memory of her silhouetted in the moonlight as she looked at me with her heart in her eyes. What happened next was her call. All of it.
She said nothing. Made no move toward me. And with my heart in my hands, I turned away, unable to keep the tears from filling my eyes. She’d made her choice. I needed to accept it and keep my word.
“Charlie!” My name came from her, cried out past her lips, and then before I could turn all the way around, she was in my arms.
“Damn you, Charlie. Damn you to hell,” she said, kissing me so hard that our teeth clicked when they met.
I broke the kiss when I heard the sound of girlish tittering somewhere behind us.
“Oh, don’t let us stop you,” Maggie, I presumed, said. “We’ll just see you back inside.”
Charlotte grumbled something under her breath about busybody, nosy bitches, but she didn’t turn to acknowledge them as she apologized. “Sorry. They mean well, but sometimes their timing sucks.”
I caught her hand in mine, holding it lightly in case she didn’t want the physical connection at that moment. “And us? How’s our timing?”
She sighed. “I don’t know.”
I nodded, letting her hand go to put my own inside of my pockets and away from the petal softness of her flesh. “I understand.”
She stepped closer, one hand resting over my breaking heart, and said, “But Charlie, how could you understand? I’m so torn. So broken. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I want… I’m so… but I do love you, Charlie. I love you so much it’s tearing me apart and—”
I took one hand out of my pocket, placed my finger softly against her lips, and quieted her. The answer was obvious. We were meant to be together. The rest? The rest would sort itself out or be damned. Charlotte just had to come to that conclusion herself.
“How about this… let’s not worry about an answer right now. Let’s just admit we love each other and that if love is enough, it will all work
out.”
When she nodded, I moved my finger from her lips to her chin and tilted her head back so I could look down into her eyes as I gave her a proposal of my own. “We don’t have to figure it out right now. Something this important—this life changing—should have a little thought behind it. We need to know exactly what it is we want so we don’t make more wrong decisions. How about this… in three months’ time, if you still feel the same way about me, meet me where it all started. Where we first met. I’ll be waiting there for you. If you show up, I’ll know it’ll be me and you against the world. If you don’t show up, I’ll have my answer and I’ll move on with my life, only wishing you the best.”
Her head tilted. “Really? In three months, we’ll either meet up and it’ll be happily ever after, or one of us doesn’t show and it’ll be ‘see ya around, have a nice life’?”
I nodded. “So what do you say?”
She chuckled. “Only you, Charlie, would put the fate of us in the balance of a London street next to a pub.”
I wanted to smack myself in the forehead, repeatedly, whilst muttering ‘stupid, stupid, stupid’ to myself. A pub. Nice one, mate. Instead, I cringed, ready to apologize.
“It’s okay, Charlie. I’m just giving you a hard time. I think it’s a good idea. A little unorthodox, but then again, that sort of matches us as well,” she said, giving me a full-blown smile.
I backed away then. Left her smiling at me as I said three more quick things to her before we parted. “London. Three months. At a quarter to eight.”
I walked in the dark, warmed to the backbone with the promise of her love. I could have stayed. Could have stolen a few more kisses in the dark. Could have convinced her to come home with me and let me show her how much I’d missed her. How much I loved her. It was what I so desperately needed. But not what she did. And if I’d learned much of anything with Charlotte, I’d learned that I had to listen to her as much as I listened to myself. It was equality between us… or nothing at all.
When Two Hearts Collide (Game of Hearts Novels Book 3) Page 17