"What things?" Sarah wondered.
Lady Westholme went on to explain that she was staying at the Solomon Hotel so as to remain unhampered. She added that she had made several suggestions to the Manager for the more competent running of his hotel.
"Efficiency," said Lady Westholme, "is my Watchword."
It certainly seemed to be! In a quarter of an hour a large and extremely comfortable car arrived and in due course-after advice from Lady Westholme as to how the luggage should be bestowed-the party set off.
Their first halt was the Dead Sea. They had lunch at Jericho. Afterwards when Lady Westholme armed with a Baedeker had gone off with Miss Pierce, the doctor and the fat dragoman to do a tour of old Jericho, Sarah remained in the garden of the hotel.
Her head ached slightly and she wanted to be alone. A deep depression weighed her down-a depression for which she found it hard to account. She felt suddenly listless and uninterested, disinclined for sightseeing, bored by her companions. She wished at this moment that she had never committed herself to this Petra tour. It was going to be very expensive and she felt quite sure she wasn't going to enjoy it! Lady Westholme's booming voice, Miss Pierce's endless twitterings, and the anti-Zionist lamentation of the dragoman were already fraying her nerves to a frazzle. She disliked almost as much Dr. Gerard's amused air of knowing exactly how she was feeling.
She wondered where the Boyntons were now-perhaps they had gone on to Syria-they might be at Baalbek or Damascus. Raymond. She wondered what Raymond was doing. Strange how clearly she could see his face, its eagerness, its diffidence, its nervous tension… Oh! Hell, why go on thinking of people she would probably never see again? That scene the other day with the old woman-what could have possessed her to march up to the old lady and spurt out a lot of nonsense. Other people must have heard some of it. She fancied that Lady Westholme had been quite close by. Sarah tried to remember exactly what it was she had said. Something that probably sounded quite absurdly hysterical. Goodness, what a fool she had made of herself! But it wasn't her fault really-it was old Mrs. Boynton's. There was something about her that made you lose your sense of proportion.
Dr. Gerard entered and plumped down in a chair, wiping his hot forehead. "Phew! That woman should be poisoned!" he declared.
Sarah started. "Mrs. Boynton?"
"Mrs. Boynton! No, I meant that Lady Westholme! It is incredible to me that she has had a husband for many years and that he has not already done so. What can he be made of, that husband?"
Sarah laughed. "Oh, he's the 'huntin', fishin', shootin'' kind," she explained.
"Psychologically that is very sound! He appeases his lust to kill on the (so-called) lower creations."
"I believe he is very proud of his wife's activities."
The Frenchman suggested: "Because they take her a good deal away from home? That is understandable." Then he went on. "What did you say just now? Mrs. Boynton? Undoubtedly it would be a very good idea to poison her, too. Undeniably the simplest solution of that family problem! In fact, a great many women would be better poisoned. All women who have grown old and ugly." He made an expressive face.
Sarah cried out, laughing: "Oh, you Frenchmen! You've got no use for any woman who isn't young and attractive."
Gerard shrugged his shoulders. "We are more honest about it, that is all. Englishmen, they do not get up in tubes and trains for ugly women-no, no."
"How depressing life is," said Sarah with a sigh.
"There is no need for you to sigh. Mademoiselle."
"Well, I feel thoroughly disgruntled today."
"Naturally."
"What do you mean-naturally?" snapped Sarah.
"You could find the reason very easily if you examine your state of mind honestly."
"I think it's our fellow travelers who depress me," said Sarah. "It's awful, isn't it, but I do hate women! When they're inefficient and idiotic like Miss Pierce, they infuriate me, and when they're efficient like Lady Westholme, they annoy me more still."
"It is, I should say, unavoidable that these two people should annoy you. Lady Westholme is exactly fitted to the life she leads and is completely happy and successful. Miss Pierce has worked for years as a nursery governess and has suddenly come into a small legacy which has enabled her to fulfill her lifelong wish and travel. So far, travel has lived up to her expectations. Consequently you, who have just been thwarted in obtaining what you want, naturally resent the existence of people who have been more successful in life than you are."
"I suppose you're right," said Sarah gloomily. "What a horribly accurate mind reader you are. I keep trying to humbug myself and you won't let me."
At this moment the others returned. The guide seemed the most exhausted of the three. He was quite subdued and hardly exuded any information on the way to Amman. He did not even mention the Jews. For which everyone was profoundly grateful. His voluble and frenzied account of their iniquities had done much to try everyone's temper on the journey from Jerusalem.
Now the road wound upward from the Jordan, twisting and turning with clumps of oleanders showing rose-colored flowers.
They reached Amman late in the afternoon and after a short visit to the Graeco-Roman theatre, went to bed early. They were to make an early start the next morning as it was a full day's motor run across the desert to Ma'an.
They left soon after eight o'clock. The party was inclined to be silent. It was a hot airless day and by noon when a halt was made for a picnic lunch to be eaten, it was really, stiflingly hot. The irritation on a hot day of being boxed up closely with four other human beings had got a little on everyone's nerves.
Lady Westholme and Dr. Gerard had a somewhat irritable argument over the League of Nations. Lady Westholme was a fervent supporter of the League. The Frenchman, on the other hand, chose to be witty at the League's expense. From the attitude of the League concerning Abyssinia and Spain they passed to the Lithuania boundary dispute of which Sarah had never heard and from there to the activities of the League in suppressing dope gangs.
"You must admit they have done wonderful work. Wonderful!" snapped Lady Westholme.
Dr. Gerard shrugged his shoulders. "Perhaps. And at wonderful expense, too!"
"The matter is a very serious one. Under the Dangerous Drugs Act-" The argument waged on.
Miss Pierce twittered to Sarah: "It is really most interesting traveling with Lady Westholme."
Sarah said acidly: "Is it?" but Miss Pierce did not notice the acerbity and twittered happily on: "I've so often seen her name in the papers. So clever of women to go into public life and hold their own. I'm always so glad when a woman accomplishes something!"
"Why?" demanded Sarah ferociously.
Miss Pierce's mouth fell open and she stammered a little. "Oh, because-I mean-just because-well-it's so nice that women are able to do things!"
"I don't agree," said Sarah. "It's nice when any human being is able to accomplish something worthwhile! It doesn't matter a bit whether it's a man or a woman. Why should it?"
"Well, of course-" said Miss Pierce. "Yes-I confess-of course, looking at it in that light-" But she looked slightly wistful. Sarah said more gently: "I'm sorry, but I do hate this differentiation between the sexes. 'The modern girl has a thoroughly businesslike attitude to life!' That sort of thing. It's not a bit true! Some girls are businesslike and some aren't. Some men are sentimental and muddle-headed, others are clear-headed and logical. There are just different types of brains. Sex only matters where sex is directly concerned."
Miss Pierce flushed a little at the word sex and adroitly changed the subject. "One can't help wishing that there were a little shade," she murmured. "But I do think all this emptiness is so wonderful, don't you?"
Sarah nodded. Yes, she thought, the emptiness was marvelous… Healing… Peaceful… No human beings to agitate one with their tiresome inter-relationships… No burning personal problems! Now, at last, she felt, she was free of the Boyntons. Free of that strange compelling wish
to interfere in the lives of people whose orbit did not remotely touch her own. She felt soothed and at peace. Here was loneliness, emptiness, spaciousness… In fact, peace… Only, of course, one wasn't alone to enjoy it. Lady Westholme and Dr. Gerard had finished with drugs and were now arguing about guileless young women who were exported in a sinister manner to Argentinean cabarets. Dr. Gerard had displayed throughout the conversation a levity which Lady Westholme, who, being a true politician, had no sense of humor, found definitely deplorable.
"We go on now, yes?" announced the tar-bushed dragoman and began to talk about the iniquities of Jews again.
It was about an hour off sunset when they reached Ma'an at last. Strange wild-faced men crowded around the car. After a short halt they went on. Looking over the flat desert country Sarah was at a loss as to where the rocky stronghold of Petra could be. Surely they could see for miles and miles all around them? There were no mountains, no hills anywhere. Were they then still many miles from their journey's end?
They reached the village of Am Musa where the cars were to be left. Here horses were waiting for them-sorry looking thin beasts. The inadequacy of her striped wash frock disturbed Miss Pierce greatly. Lady Westholme was sensibly attired in riding breeches, not perhaps a particularly becoming style to her type of figure, but certainly practical.
The horses were led out of the village along a slippery path with loose stones. The ground fell away and the horses zigzagged down. The sun was close on setting.
Sarah was very tired with the long hot journey in the car. Her senses felt dazed. The ride was like a dream. It seemed to her afterwards that it was like the pit of Hell opening at one's feet. The way wound down-down into the ground. The shapes of rock rose up around them, down, down into the bowels of the earth, through a labyrinth of red cliffs. They towered now on either side. Sarah felt stifled, menaced by the ever-narrowing gorge. She thought confusedly to herself: "Down into the valley of death-down into the valley of death…"
On and on. It grew dark, the vivid red of the walls faded, and still on, winding in and out, imprisoned, lost in the bowels of the earth.
She thought: "It's fantastic and unbelievable… a dead city."
And again like a refrain came the words: "The valley of death…"
Lanterns were lit now. The horses wound along through the narrow ways. Suddenly they came out into a wide space-the cliffs receded. Far ahead of them was a cluster of lights.
"That is camp!" said the guide.
The horses quickened their pace a little-not very much-they were too starved and dispirited for that, but they showed just a shade of enthusiasm. Now the way ran along a gravelly waterbed. The lights grew nearer. They could see a cluster of tents, a higher row up against the face of a cliff. Caves, too, hollowed out in the rock.
They were arriving. Bedouin servants came running out.
Sarah stared up at one of the caves. It held a sitting figure. What was it? An idol? A gigantic squatting image?
No, that was the flickering lights that made it loom so large. But it must be an idol of some kind, sitting there immovable, brooding over the place… And then, suddenly, her heart gave a leap of recognition.
Gone was the feeling of peace-of escape-that the desert had given her. She had been led from freedom back into captivity. She had ridden down into this dark winding valley and here, like an arch priestess of some forgotten cult, like a monstrous swollen female Buddha, sat Mrs. Boynton…
11
Mrs. Boynton was here, at Petra!
Sarah answered mechanically questions that were addressed to her. Would she have dinner straight away-it was ready-or would she like to wash first? Would she prefer to sleep in a tent or a cave?
Her answer to that came quickly. A tent. She flinched at the thought of a cave; the vision of that monstrous squatting figure recurred to her. (Why was it that something about the woman seemed hardly human?) Finally she followed one of the native servants. He wore khaki breeches much patched and untidy puttees and a ragged coat very much the worse for wear. On his head the native headdress, the cheffiyah, its long folds protecting the neck and secured in place with a black silk twist fitting tightly to the crown of his head. Sarah admired the easy swing with which he walked, the careless proud carriage of his head. Only the European part of his costume seemed tawdry and wrong. She thought: "Civilization's all wrong-all wrong! But for civilization there wouldn't be a Mrs. Boynton! In savage tribes they'd probably have killed and eaten her years ago!"
She realized, half humorously, that she was overtired and on edge. A wash in hot water and a dusting of powder over her face and she felt herself again-cool, poised, and ashamed of her recent panic.
She passed a comb through her thick black hair, squinting sideways at her reflection in the wavering light of a small oil lamp in a very inadequate glass.
Then she pushed aside the tent flap and came out into the night prepared to descend to the big marquee below.
"You-here?"
It was a low cry-dazed, incredulous. She turned to look straight into Raymond Boynton's eyes. So amazed they were! And something in them held her silent and almost afraid. Such an unbelievable joy… It was as though he had seen a vision of Paradise-wondering, dazed, thankful, humble! Never, in all her life, was Sarah to forget that look. So might the damned look up and see Paradise…
He said again: "You…"
It did something to her-that low vibrant tone. It made her heart turn over in her breast. It made her feel shy, afraid, humble and yet suddenly arrogantly glad.
She said quite simply: "Yes."
He came nearer-still dazed-still only half believing. Then suddenly he took her hand. "It is you," he said. "You're real. I thought at first you were a ghost-because I'd been thinking about you so much." He paused and then said: "I love you, you know… I have from the moment I saw you in the train. I know that now. And I want you to know it so that-so that you'll know it isn't me-the real me-who-who behaves so caddishly. You see, I can't answer for myself even now. I might do-anything! I might pass you by or cut you-but I do want you to know that it isn't me-the real me-who is responsible for that. It's my nerves. I can't depend on them… When she tells me to do things-I do them! My nerves make me! You will understand, won't you? Despise me if you have to-"
She interrupted him. Her voice was low and unexpectedly sweet. "I won't despise you."
"All the same, I'm pretty despicable! I ought to-to be able to behave like a man."
It was partly an echo of Gerard's advice, but more out of her own knowledge and hope that Sarah answered-and behind the sweetness of her voice there was a ring of certainty and conscious authority. "You will now."
"Shall I?" His voice was wistful. "Perhaps…"
"You'll have courage now. I'm sure of it."
He drew himself up-flung back his head. "Courage? Yes-that's all that's needed. Courage!"
Suddenly he bent his head, touched her hand with his lips. A minute later he had left her.
12
Sarah went down to the big marquee. She found her three fellow travelers there. They were sitting at table eating. The guide was explaining that there was another party here.
"They come two days ago. Go day after tomorrow. Americans. The mother very fat, very difficult get here! Carried in chair by bearers-they say very hard work-they get very hot-yes."
Sarah gave a sudden spurt of laughter. Of course, take it properly, the whole thing was funny! The fat dragoman looked at her gratefully. He was not finding his task too easy. Lady Westholme had contradicted him out of Baedeker three times that day and had now found fault with the type of bed provided. He was grateful to the one member of his party who seemed to be unaccountably in a good temper.
"Ha!" said Lady Westholme. "I think these people were at the Solomon. I recognized the old mother as we arrived here. I think I saw you talking to her at the hotel. Miss King."
Sarah blushed guiltily, hoping Lady Westholme had not overheard much of that conversa
tion.
"Really, what possessed me!" she thought to herself in an agony. In the meantime Lady Westholme had made a pronouncement.
"Not interesting people at all. Very provincial," she said.
Miss Pierce made eager sycophantish noises and Lady Westholme embarked on a history of various interesting and prominent Americans whom she had met recently. The weather being so unusually hot for the time of year, an early start was arranged for the morrow.
The four assembled for breakfast at six o'clock. There were no signs of any of the Boynton family. After Lady Westholme had commented unfavorably on the absence of fruit, they consumed tea, tinned milk and fried eggs in a generous allowance of fat, flanked by extremely salty bacon.
Then they started forth. Lady Westholme and Dr. Gerard discussing with animation on the part of the former the exact value of vitamins in diet and the proper nutrition of the working classes.
Then there was a sudden hail from the camp and they halted to allow another person to join the party. It was Mr. Jefferson Cope who hurried after them, his pleasant face flushed with the exertion of running.
"Why, if you don't mind, I'd like to join your party this morning. Good morning, Miss King. Quite a surprise meeting you and Dr. Gerard here. What do you think of it?" He made a gesture indicating the fantastic red rocks that stretched in every direction.
"I think it's rather wonderful and just a little horrible," said Sarah. "I always thought of it as romantic and dreamlike-the 'rose red city.' But it's much more real than that-it's as real as-as raw beef."
"And very much the color of it," agreed Mr. Cope.
"But it's marvelous, too," admitted Sarah.
The party began to climb. Two Bedouin guides accompanied them. Tall men, with an easy carriage, they swung upward unconcernedly in their hobnailed boots, completely foot-sure on the slippery slope. Difficulties soon began. Sarah had a good head for heights and so had Dr. Gerard. But both Mr. Cope and Lady Westholme were far from happy, and the unfortunate Miss Pierce had to be almost carried over the precipitous places, her eyes shut, her face green, while her voice rose ceaselessly in a perpetual wail: "I never could look down places. Never-from a child!"
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