by A. K. Evans
Everything I Have
A.K. Evans
Published by A.K. Evans
Copyright 2017 A.K. Evans
This is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without the express written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Dedication
To all the victims and survivors of domestic abuse, this is for you. May you find your way out of the darkness and into the light.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
About A.K. Evans
Other Books by A.K. Evans
Connect with A.K. Evans
Acknowledgements
To Jeff — Thank you for choosing to hold me forever. I couldn’t do this without your love.
To my boys, J&J — Mommy could write millions of words and never be able to tell you just how much I love you both. And no, I’m not famous yet, but I’m working on it for the two of you.
Prologue
Ventura, California
Emme
“Thanks for such a good night girls. I needed this bad!”
I was sitting in the front passenger’s seat of Monroe’s SUV on a Friday night headed back to my house. Monroe was driving; Nikki and Charley were in the backseat. My girls had just taken me out for my twenty-fourth birthday celebration.
Today was not my birthday, though. My actual birthday was going to be next week. Today was simply the only day that I would be able to safely escape to thoroughly enjoy a night out with my three best friends in the whole world.
Seth, my boyfriend for the last eight years, left three days ago to go out of town on a business trip. Yes, I’ve been with Seth since I was sixteen, which sadly, feels like a lifetime. I often found myself reminiscing about the early days of our relationship when we were so in love. But oh, how things have changed. Now I need to prolong a night out with my friends for days or weeks at a time because I can’t get away. Because if I dare to leave the house for anything other than work when Seth is home, I’ll pay for it.
“We love you, Em. We’d never let your birthday pass without a celebration…even if we have to do it in secret,” Monroe said.
“Yeah, but it’s awful that we need to wait until he’s not around so we can spend time with you,” Charley chimed in.
My friends knew that things had changed in my relationship with Seth. I didn’t exactly share how bad it had become with them, but they knew enough to know that they didn’t like him very much anymore. Their opinions of him would drastically change if they knew everything.
I sighed. “I know, but can we not talk about this now? I’ve got a mere five minutes left with you three. Can we please have this end on a happy note?”
Nikki spoke. “So, is it just me or did anyone else think that Miss Monroe was a bit harsh with Mr. Blue Eyes tonight?”
“Oh, come on. I’m a sucker for a pair of baby blues, but I just wasn’t into him,” Monroe retorted.
Charley then said, “I’ve got to agree with Monroe on this one. She’s something special and has every right to be picky.”
“I’m just saying, you aren’t going to find a good one if you don’t give any of them a chance,” Nikki said.
And just like that, Nikki managed to turn the conversation away from my current relationship. I looked back at her as Monroe began to protest Nikki’s statement. I mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her and she gave me a quick wink. I know she wasn’t thrilled with my relationship with Seth either, but she also cared enough about me to respect my choice. If only it were my choice anymore.
Two minutes later, we pulled up in front of my house.
“You sure you don’t want to stay at my place tonight, Emme?” Monroe asked.
“I’m sure. Thanks again for the fun tonight. I’ll call tomorrow. Love you girls,” I said.
“Love you, Em. Happy Birthday!” I heard Charley yell from the backseat.
Monroe and Nikki both wished me a happy birthday again as I closed the car door and turned to walk up to the house. I pulled out my key, put it into the lock, turned to wave to the girls, and pushed open my front door. After I walked through the open doorway, I closed the door and flipped the deadbolt.
Shower and bed. In that order. I had two more nights alone before Seth returned and I intended to enjoy them fully. I walked up the steps and went down the hall to the bedroom. As soon as I stepped inside the room I stopped dead in my tracks. Seth was standing about five feet away from me. I took a step back, shocked to see him there. Shit.
“It seems as though my instincts were right,” he seethed.
I said nothing. I knew that would put me in no better position.
“Knew you couldn’t be trusted. Purposely told you I had a meeting on Monday morning and wouldn’t be coming home until Monday night just so I could come back early and confirm what I knew to be true.” He paused a moment looking me up and down, a look of disgust in his eyes, before continuing. “Look at you. Dressed like a whore. What were you doing, Emily? You think you’re going to find someone else and leave me?”
“I’m sorry, Seth. The girls wanted to take me out for my birthday. I haven’t seen them in such a long time and I really missed them. I’m sorry,” I said as my entire body tensed in anticipation of what I knew was coming.
“Did you think you could go and I wouldn’t find out?” he asked as he took a couple steps closer to me.
“I swear, Seth. We just went out for dinner and drinks. I was only with the girls,” I answered, my stomach tightening.
“You lying bitch! You think you can leave me?” he roared as he leaned into me.
I shook my head.
And that was when Seth struck. His fist came up and cracked my jaw. My body jerked back and my hands came up to shield my face from any further blows. He punched me in the stomach and I immediately moved my hands over my stomach. He clocked me again in my face. This time, he hit me in my right eye. I tried to protect my face, but he struck again splitting my lip open. When my hands moved to my mouth, he came at me from the other side and punched me in the left eye. I bent over trying to protect my face; so, he grabbed me by my hair and threw me to the ground. Seth stood in front of me and repeatedly kic
ked me in the stomach before he moved behind my back and kicked my ribs. This was the worst I’d ever experienced his rage. I wanted to scream from the intense pain I was feeling, but I couldn’t. I could barely breathe.
“Stupid fucking whore! You are mine,” he yelled as his kicks moved from my ribs to my lower back. The pain was unbearable and I was certain I would die.
Incredibly, after what felt like hours, he stopped. I could only see clearly out of one eye as my other was already beginning to swell, but I saw him walk toward the dresser and then he moved to the door to the bedroom. As he walked out of the room he said, “Waste of my fucking time.”
I stayed put, fear having taken over me. I hoped he would leave, but knew better than to expect that that would happen. Instead, he made his way down the hallway into the bathroom. I heard the water in the shower turn on. I waited a few minutes and listened, making sure that he was actually in the shower before I moved.
It was in that moment I made a decision. Despite the excruciating pain radiating through my body, I knew I had to get up and get help. I crawled over to my purse which had fallen on the floor just inside the bedroom doorway. I pulled my phone out of the purse and called the only person I knew who was close enough and could help me.
The phone rang once before I heard, “Hey, Em. What’s up?”
“Taj.” I barely squeaked out.
“Emme? You ok?” he asked, his voice laced with concern.
“Please help. He’s going to kill me.”
“Who, baby girl? Where are you?” he asked, now on alert.
“Seth. He came home early. The girls just dropped me off,” I paused to pull in a breath, then continued. “I need to get to a hospital, Taj. Please.”
“Stay with me, Em. I’m already on my way.”
“I can’t,” I winced, attempting to breathe. “He’s in the shower now. He’ll be out soon.”
“Two minutes, baby girl. I’ll be there in two minutes.”
“I have to go, Taj. There’s a key under the flower pot next to the stoop.”
I disconnected the call and put the phone back in my purse. I didn’t have the strength to move from the spot I was curled up in on the floor.
Even though it felt like an eternity I’m certain it was less than two minutes later when I heard the front door open. Thankfully, Seth was still in the shower. I heard Taj’s footsteps as he quickly climbed the stairs. He made it into the bedroom, looked at me, clenched his fists and jaw, and murmured, “Motherfucker.”
“Taj,” I whispered from the floor.
I heard the water turn off in the shower.
He bent down and picked me up off the floor. My body screamed in agony at the movements.
“I’m sorry, Emme. We’ve got to get you out of here.”
“Thank you, Taj,” I said as he began walking towards the stairs.
The bathroom door opened and Seth stepped out to find me in Taj’s arms. I felt Taj’s fingertips dig into my skin ever so slightly.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Seth demanded.
Taj ignored Seth, quickly moved around him, using his body to shield mine, and carried me down the steps. After he descended the stairs, Taj walked out the front door and brought me to his Jeep. He opened the car door and put me in on the passenger’s seat.
“Be back, Em.”
“Taj, he’s not worth it. Come on,” I pleaded.
“Emme, I’ll be right back. Use my phone and call the police. This motherfucker is not getting away with this shit.”
I located his phone in the center console and called the police. I gave them my address and explained what had happened. They had units on the way.
And that was when I heard it. The gunfire. I froze in the seat willing Taj to walk out the front door. As the seconds ticked by and he didn’t come out I decided to go back in. I began to climb out of the car. I winced in pain with each step I took. I finally made it to the front stoop. Hunched over, I pushed the door open and walked back into the house. I looked up as I stepped inside and lost it at what I saw.
“Oh, God. No! Taj,” I managed to yell somehow. Taj was lying on the floor in my living room with blood pouring out of his body. I made my way over to him and crouched over him. I framed his face in my hands. “Taj, please. Oh, God. I’m so sorry.”
“Tell Charley I love her,” he whispered. “Tell her I’ll always be with her and that she’ll never be alone.”
“No, Taj. Don’t you dare. You stay with me,” I cried as I took his hand in mine.
“Get safe, baby girl. Go get safe,” he managed to whisper through his short, quick breaths.
I stayed right by his side, curled up next to him because I couldn’t move anyway, and I felt the life leave his body. Tears streamed down my face as I heard the sirens approaching. I heard the back door to the house slam. I assumed that was Seth running, but I wasn’t going to leave Taj. The front door finally opened. Two officers made their way over to me. Several others followed behind them. I heard lots of orders being barked by the officers, but I didn’t pay much attention. I felt one of the officers wrap his hands around my shoulders. I tensed.
“Not going to hurt you, darling. You’ve got to get up so we can help him. We have to do that even if he’s responsible for what happened to you,” the officer said.
“He saved me,” I whispered.
“Come again?”
“I called him to come get me and take me to the hospital.” I pointed to my body and face and said, “My boyfriend did this to me. Taj saved me. He died so he could save me. Oh God. What will I tell Charley?”
“Who’s Charley, darling?” the officer asked.
“My best friend. She’s never going to forgive me. This is her brother,” I said as I kept my face pressed to Taj’s chest and my breathing became rapid. “I killed my best friend’s brother.”
“She’s going into shock,” I heard one officer yell out to whoever else was in the room.
I suddenly felt very tired.
Exhaustion came over me and everything went black.
Chapter 1
Rising Sun, Wyoming
Nine and a half months later
Emme
Fear. A paralyzing emotion for many people. I am one of those people. Fear can not only keep you immobilized in a position of weakness, but can also damage the most important parts of your life before you even realize what has happened. Fear forced me to stay in a physically and mentally abusive relationship for four years longer than I should have. Fear can kill. It did nearly ten months ago and, to this day, it is slowly killing me.
My friends knew that that relationship had gotten bad, but they didn’t know just how bad until it was too late. Even after all this time, they still didn’t know just how bad it had been for me. I didn’t figure telling them all the gruesome and gory details would do any good.
When I moved from Ventura, California to Rising Sun, Wyoming almost seven months ago I thought it would allow me to make a new start where fear didn’t control every aspect of my life. The problem is that I knew my past could come back at any moment to torture me. That knowledge crippled me.
Thankfully, I was not alone and I now lived with my best friend, Charley. I thought for sure that once she learned I was responsible for the death of her brother she’d never speak to me again. To my surprise, she wrapped me up in her arms and held on tight. She hasn’t faltered once in her love and support for me.
The first couple months following Taj’s death were extraordinarily difficult for the both of us. I spent several weeks in the hospital recovering from the beating I took that night. I had several broken ribs, a punctured lung, a busted lip, two black eyes, a jaw that needed to be reset, and severe bruising covering most of my body. The worst of my physical injuries was to my kidneys. The repeated kicks to my lower back had caused such trauma to my kidneys that I ended up needing to have surgery. The damage to one of the kidneys was so bad that it needed to be removed, but I was fortunate enough
to not lose both of them. Over the weeks and months, my body slowed healed. Emotionally, though, I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover and knew my life would never be the same.
One of the biggest reasons I questioned whether I’d ever get back to normal was the fact that I lived every day seeing the pain in Charley’s eyes. Knowing you were responsible for the torture your friend lived through day in and day out leaves you feeling raw. Charley’s parents were killed by a drunk driver back when we were fifteen. Taj was the only family she had left and I took him away from her. Not only did I take Taj away from her, I took her passion. She always aspired to be a graphic designer and ever since Taj died she hasn’t touched her artwork. It broke my heart to know I had ruined her life. For that reason, I made a promise to myself and to Taj that I’d do whatever I could to make sure she found happiness in her life again.
So, this morning when Charley and I were surprised by our two other best friends, Nikki and Monroe, who traveled from California and insisted on going out for a fun night to celebrate Charley’s twenty-fifth birthday, I sat back quietly to let her make that decision. Regardless of any fear or reservations I had about going out, I would suck it up for her. She deserved that much from me.
After we spent the better part of the day shopping (the girls insisted Charley and I get new dresses for the occasion), we returned home to get ready. Charley called Hannah, her friend and co-worker at the coffee shop she worked at in the lodge of Parks Ridge Ski Resort, to get recommendations on where to go for a night of fun. Hannah suggested Big Lou’s Restaurant and Saloon; so, after we all got ready we made our way there.
Big Lou’s was a two-story building housing a restaurant on the first floor and the saloon on the second floor. It was a huge place that had that true rustic, western feel to it. We decided on having dinner first and would then decide on the plans for the rest of the evening. Our waitress suggested that we head up to the saloon following dinner, especially since Monroe and Nikki were on the hunt for a good time. I wasn’t necessarily thrilled with the idea, but since it was Charley’s birthday and Nikki and Monroe were leaving tomorrow I decided that how I was feeling about it didn’t really much matter. We met Lou, owner of the place, who was the most generous man I’d ever encountered. He found out that it was Charley’s birthday and gave us our meals and drinks on the house along with no cover charge to the saloon. We finished our dinner and made our way up to the saloon. Lou told us that one of the hometown favorites would be performing tonight so Nikki and I went to find a table while Charley and Monroe went to get drinks. Nikki and I sat and she didn’t hold back.