“Don’t try to tell me what I feel and what I don’t feel,” she exclaimed as she got up from the sofa.
Dalton swiped a hand through his hair and frowned at her. “Look, you’ve just come off a roller coaster of traumatic events. We’ve been cooped up together, and emotions got out of control.” He cast his gaze away from her but not before she saw something in his eyes that encouraged her.
She stepped closer to him. “Dalton, I don’t know a lot of things, but I know that I’m in love with you, and there have been times in the last couple of days that I believed that you were falling in love with me and with my son.”
He looked at her then, his expression dark and unfathomable. “I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. I thought I’d been clear about the fact that I’m not interested in any long-term relationship or in having a family.”
Even though she’d suspected their relationship would end this way, it didn’t stop the hot press of tears that burned at her eyes. How was it possible that his eyes told her one thing and his mouth said another?
It didn’t matter. Now that she’d bared her soul, all she wanted to do was escape. She walked over to where Sammy was sitting on the sofa and picked him up, cradling him close to her breaking heart. “I’d like to go to the motel now.”
There was no point in spending another minute with him. She needed to get away, to cry, to mourn, to once again find some way to heal herself and move on.
He didn’t argue with her. Instead he got her coat and silently they prepared to leave. She felt numb. She hadn’t realized how much she’d hoped that he would take her in his arms, confess that he loved her, too, until that hope had been stolen away.
She should have known better, she thought bitterly as she got into his truck. He was an educated man who enjoyed listening to jazz and reading thick tomes. Why would he want to bind himself to an uneducated woman with a baby?
She gasped when she saw the infant car seat in the backseat of his big cab. The fact that he’d thought of Sammy’s safety only broke her heart again.
The drive to the motel was silent except for Sammy’s cooing talk. She kept her gaze averted out the passenger window, afraid that if she looked at Dalton she’d cry.
She’d endured a rape and being chased out into the snow by a man who wanted to kill her, and she’d survived. And she would survive Dalton West’s rejection, as well. But it was going to take time.
Dalton pulled up in front of the motel office and parked, then turned to look at her. His eyes radiated a deep pain. “You’ll be all right?”
“Of course we will,” she replied, her voice sounding clipped, brittle to her own ears. “Nana will be here around three and we’ll figure out where we go from here.”
“If you ever need anything…”
“We’ll be fine,” she quickly interjected. “You’ve done more than enough for us already.” She opened the truck door and took Sammy out of the car seat as Dalton got out of the vehicle.
He grabbed her suitcase from the back and carried it to the front door of the motel office as she followed just behind him. She’d known telling him goodbye would be difficult, she just hadn’t imagined it would be this difficult.
“I can get it from here,” she said.
He nodded and set the suitcase down. “Here’s the key to the room.” He told her the number. “I guess this is goodbye.”
“Before I tell you goodbye, I just want to say one more thing.” She searched his stern features, remembering how they had softened into something beautiful as they’d made love, how they’d transformed with laughter as he’d interacted with Sammy.
She drew a deep breath and consciously willed away the tears that threatened. “Even though you don’t love us, I hope you’ll eventually open yourself up to loving some woman. You’d make a wonderful husband, Dalton, and you’d be an awesome father.” The tears she’d tried to hold in now splashed onto her cheeks. “I don’t know what made you decide to live your life alone, but you’re cheating some woman from finding happiness with you, and you’re cheating yourself, as well.”
She didn’t wait for him to answer. She grabbed the handle on the suitcase, turned and hurried away, eager to get into a room where she could cry in private.
Minutes later, she sat on the edge of one of the two double beds in the room and tried to keep the tears from flowing. She was afraid that if she started to cry she wouldn’t be able to stop, and she didn’t want Nana to arrive and see the depths of her despair.
Besides, she had a future to plan, a life to live. She knew eventually her heart wouldn’t hurt so much, but at the moment it ached with unrelenting sadness.
One man had raped her and the other had thrown away her love. Both had left indelible scars on her soul, but it was Dalton’s kindness, his passion and laughter that would linger in her thoughts for a very long time to come.
She stretched out across the bed, grabbed one of the pillows and cried into it, not wanting her sobs to disturb her sleeping son.
Later she would figure out where her life went from here, but for now she’d give herself time to mourn what might have been.
Chapter 15
Dalton opened his apartment door, stepped inside and drew in a deep, weary breath. She was gone. All trace of her and Sammy were gone except the faint scent of honeysuckle that lingered in the air.
The silence felt odd, but he knew eventually it would feel familiar and safe. He shrugged out of his coat and hung it in the closet, then eased down in his chair and stared around the room.
The painter he’d hired hadn’t even begun the job yet. The walls didn’t really need to be painted, but Dalton wouldn’t cancel the job. Maybe the smell of fresh paint would remove the last trace of her scent from the apartment.
He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, fighting against the emotion that pressed tight in his chest. He’d done the right thing. He knew how these things worked. He’d learned the hard way by his experience with Mary. He didn’t believe in repeating past mistakes.
Janette would move on, build a life and realize that what she’d really felt for him was nothing more than gratitude. However, he wasn’t confused about his feelings for her. He loved her. His feelings for Janette were far deeper, far more profound than anything he’d felt for Mary.
A solitary life. That’s what he’d believed he wanted, but now he realized how selfish he’d become. He’d guarded himself from not only women and dating, but also from his family and life.
For the first time he thought about all the reasons he’d distanced himself from his family, and for the first time he realized the answer.
His brothers had all found love. They’d found the special women with whom they would spend the rest of their lives and build happy families. He’d been glad for their happiness, but their happiness had pointed out the utter emptiness of his own life.
He needed to go into the office. He needed to do something, anything to get away from his own thoughts. He’d have one more cup of coffee then head to the West Protective Services office and spend the rest of the day there taking care of boring paperwork.
As he entered the kitchen and headed for the coffeepot his gaze fell on the bowl in the sink. It was half-full of rice cereal, and the sight of it convulsed his heart so hard, so unexpectedly, it brought tears to his eyes.
Janette wasn’t the only one he’d fallen in love with. Sammy had stolen his heart the first time he’d grinned at Dalton and cooed.
“I did the right thing,” Dalton said aloud, but his voice lacked conviction. He just didn’t understand how doing the right thing could feel so terribly wrong.
*
“You look peaked.” Nana stared at Janette closely as she stepped into the motel room. “You aren’t getting sick, are you?”
“No, I’m not getting sick,” Janette replied. Definitely heartsick, but that didn’t count. She gave her grandmother a fierce hug. Nana dropped her small overnight bag on the floor and beelined to Sammy, who had a
wakened and had somehow found his own toes with his hands.
“Look at you!” Nana picked him up and nuzzled his neck. “You look like you’ve grown a foot.” She settled on the bed with Sammy in her arms. “So, where are we going from here?”
Janette sat on the opposite bed and frowned thoughtfully. “I don’t know. It’s a decision I didn’t want to make without your input.”
“I’ll be honest, if I had my way we’d go back to Sandstone and get a new trailer. I’ve got my friends there, but I know that isn’t what you want, so whatever you decide is fine with me.” Nana’s smile was filled with love and her expression was soft as she gazed first at Janette, then at Sammy. “I just want you and this little boy to be happy. That’s all I really care about.”
At the moment happiness seemed a distant state that no bus ride could ever take her to, but she didn’t tell that to Nana.
“We don’t have to make a decision right this minute,” Nana said. “What I want to hear right now is how you and this Dalton of yours got Brandon Sinclair arrested.”
This Dalton of yours. How she wished it were so. For the next thirty minutes she related all that had happened to Nana.
She’d just finished her story when a knock sounded. Janette jumped off the bed and opened the door to see Dalton. She’d left something behind, that was the first thought that jumped into her head at the sight of him. He was here to deliver whatever item she’d forgotten to pack.
“We need to talk,” he said without preamble. He started to step inside but she held the door to keep him out.
“I’m all talked out,” she replied.
“Janette, please. It’s important.” His body vibrated with tension and a fierce intensity radiated from his eyes.
Janette looked over her shoulder at Nana seated on the bed holding Sammy, then back at Dalton. “We can’t talk in here.”
“In my truck, then.”
She hesitated, wondering if she could handle any more from him. “Okay, I’ll be out in just a minute.” She closed the door and turned to face her grandmother. “It’s Dalton. He says he needs to talk to me. It’s probably about the case.” She grabbed her coat and pulled it on. “I should be back in just a few minutes.”
Nana stared at her for a long moment. “Follow your heart, honey,” she said as if she knew everything that had happened between Janette and Dalton.
Janette slipped out of the door and headed for his truck, all the while telling herself that she’d followed her heart and it had led her into pain.
She opened the passenger truck door and slid inside. “What’s up?” she asked.
For what seemed like an eternity he stared directly ahead, as if she wasn’t seated next to him and waiting for him to speak.
What was he thinking? Why was he here?
“A year ago I was on assignment in Tulsa guarding a woman who’d been the victim of domestic abuse.” He didn’t look at her but continued to stare out the front window. “We both got caught up in each other, started making plans for our future together. When the assignment was over I came back here to Cotter Creek, certain that within a short period of time Mary and I would begin to build a life together. But before that happened, she realized that she’d mistaken gratitude for love, had gotten caught up in the fantasy we’d spun. It was a fantasy that had nothing to do with reality.”
His words stunned her, and her heart swelled with grief for him, for the dreams of happiness he’d obviously had for himself, dreams that had never come to fruition.
He turned and looked at her then, and his eyes were as dark, as mysterious as a primal forest. “My feelings for you have made me realize Mary was right. Not only did she not love me, but I wasn’t really in love with her. I’m in love with you, Janette, but I can’t go through it again. I don’t want to bind myself to you heart and soul only to find out a month or two from now that what you feel for me really isn’t love after all.”
“Dalton, there are many things in my life at the moment that I’m uncertain about, but my love for you isn’t one of them.” She reached out and placed her hand on his forearm, needing to touch him.
“I don’t love you because you gave me shelter from a snowstorm, and I don’t love you because you saved me from Brandon Sinclair. I love you because when you look at me, I feel strong and beautiful. I love the sound of your laughter and that little wrinkle you get in your forehead when you frown.”
Tears filled her eyes as she continued. “I love your strength but I also love your weaknesses. Oh, Dalton, don’t you see? I’m a woman who has been able to separate my feelings about Sinclair and what he did to me and love the result of that horrible act. I’m certainly able to know the difference between my gratefulness to you and my love for you.”
His eyes began to sparkle with a light that warmed her heart. “What weaknesses?”
She laughed, because she saw her future shining from his eyes. “Hopefully we’ll have many years together for me to point out each and every one of them.”
He leaned toward her and traced his finger down the side of her face, all trace of humor gone. “Stay, Janette. Stay in Cotter Creek with me. Let me be more than just a temporary bodyguard in your life. Let me be the man who stands beside you and Sammy for the rest of your life.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I want that.”
“And I want it, too.” He dropped his hand from her face. “And now we need to get out of this truck so I can really hold you in my arms and kiss you hard enough, love you enough that you never doubt how much I love you.”
“Dalton West, you take my breath away,” she said as she opened the truck door. They met in front of the truck and he grabbed her in an embrace that left no room for doubts, no question that her future would be one filled with laughter and love.
Epilogue
“How soon can we get out of here?” Dalton leaned over and whispered in Janette’s ear.
Here was a tent on the West property where Meredith West and Chase McCall had just exchanged their wedding vows. It had been a beautiful ceremony and the late-March weather had cooperated with a day of sunshine and blue skies.
The band was playing and people not only danced on the wooden dance floor, but also helped themselves to the banquet that had been prepared for the big event.
“Why are you in such a big hurry, Mr. West?” she asked lightly. “It’s a beautiful day and Nana is babysitting.”
“That’s exactly my point, Mrs. West.” His eyes glittered. “We could be spending this entire afternoon in bed.”
Mrs. West. She and Dalton had married in a quiet ceremony at city hall two weeks ago, and she still thrilled at the words that identified her as his wife.
“Nana is keeping Sammy overnight so there’s plenty of time for us,” she replied with a grin.
At that moment Red West stepped up in front of them. “I make it a habit despite my arthritis to dance with every one of my daughters-in-law, and I haven’t had the pleasure of dancing with you yet.” He held out a hand to her.
Janette smiled warmly. “I’d be delighted.” She took his hand in hers and together they walked toward the dance floor.
“I understand congratulations are in order,” Red said as they began to move to the slow music.
A burst of pride filled Janette. “Yes. It was a long time coming, but I finally got my GED.”
“And Dalton tells me you’ve already signed up for college classes for this summer.”
“I have. I’m really excited about it. I hope to get a teaching degree and I’d love to teach first or second grade.”
“You’ll do well.” Red smiled down at her and Janette felt his affection radiating from his pale blue eyes.
Over the past two months, Dalton’s family had embraced her with warmth. Nana had gotten settled in a brand-new trailer on the lot where her old one had burned down, and Janette and Dalton were house-hunting, as the apartment was too small for a family.
The biggest news over the past two months had been t
he eight women who had contacted Trent to tell him that they, too, had been raped by Brandon Sinclair. Much to Janette’s surprise, she had found herself something of a local hero.
“I’m a happy man today,” Red said, and she followed his gaze to the area where the family was congregated together. “Tanner has his Anna and their new little baby. Zack is happy with Katie. Clay and Libby and little Gracie are building a wonderful life together. Savannah was the best thing that ever happened to Joshua, and Meredith has finally married the man who makes her happy.
“Then there’s you.” Once again he smiled. “You and that little boy put a smile on my son’s face and a lightness to his step. All my kids have found love, and I expect their mama is smiling down from heaven.”
Janette looked up at the old man. “And she must be proud of you for raising her children to be wonderful adults.”
“I expect she is,” he agreed as the music ended.
As he led her off the dance floor Dalton stood, his eyes gleaming with wicked delight. “She’s a keeper, son,” Red said as they reached him.
“I know, Dad. Believe me, I know.” As Red left, Dalton leaned down to Janette. “Now can we get out of here? All this wedding stuff has made me want to spend alone time with my wife.”
“I’ll race you to the truck,” she said and whirled around and began to run.
She heard his burst of laughter just behind her and she slowed to let him catch her as love swelled inside her. The storm had passed and spring had come, and it had brought with it all her heart desired.
*
We hope you enjoyed this Harlequin ebook. Connect with us for info on our new releases, access to exclusive offers, free online reads and much more!
Subscribe to our newsletter: Harlequin.com/newsletters
Visit Harlequin.com
We like you—why not like us on Facebook: Facebook.com/HarlequinBooks
Glory, Glory: Snowbound with the Bodyguard Page 33