by Barbara Bard
Lord Flynn remained silent as he approached the bed, towering over her. Sarah could not stop herself from looking at him.
“I'm sorry, Lord Flynn. I should never have run away like that or seek comfort in the arms of a friend. I...I did not mean anything by it. I was overwhelmed and George comforted me. You see, in the forest George was there to help me through that. It was a testing time and it just felt natural.”
“And?”
“And...I am sorry that you had to see me in such a position, but you know that I would never do anything to besmirch your honor. This marriage means everything to me and I would not do anything to jeopardize it.”
“And?”
Sarah sniffed and wiped tears from her eyes. “I'm sorry, Lord Flynn,” was all she could muster. Lord Flynn offered her no comfort, no soothing caress. Instead, he looked down at her with sneering disdain.
“You must look inside yourself and think about the woman you want to be. I have an idea of the woman I want to be my wife, and I would hope that you live up to that expectation.”
With those words, Lord Flynn marched out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Sarah flung herself back on the bed, letting her hair splay out all around her. Her body convulsed with sorrowful weeps, and she curled up in fear. Lord Flynn had said those words so simply, as though killing a man was no great ordeal at all, and now her only link to a true friend was cut off. There was nothing more she wanted to do than to run to George and tend to his wounds, for the only reason he was hurt was because he had attempted to aid her, but she could not even do that. She would have to find some other way to escape this fate.
Chapter 4
What followed was much revelry, but Drew was pensive as he continued feasting. He noticed a few people casting wary glances at Rosemary, but to her credit, she remained seated. Perhaps she had more determination than Drew had first assumed. He also occasionally threw a few glances at her with a wary eye.
“I can see the way you have been looking at me. Do you have a problem with me?” Rosemary asked as she leaned towards him.
The question startled him.
Drew wasn't entirely sure how to answer that.
“It's just that you keep looking at me. If you have something to say to me, I'd prefer that you say it,” she added.
“I was just wondering if this is what ye imagined life with Blair would be like. Ye don't seem like you're enjoying the feast,” Drew said, trying to keep his words guarded just in case the English rose had a nefarious purpose.
“I am merely trying to adjust. Life wasn't like this in my home. It's...very noisy. It's fun though. I'm just trying to keep track of who everyone is.”
“In truth, we hae not had one of these feasts for a long time. I find myself having tae adjust as well. I think we're the only ones though. Blair seems tae have taken tae it quite naturally.”
“I know. It's not a side of him I'm used to seeing,” she said.
“Well lassie, I think you'll find that Blair is a complicated fella, he always was since he was a bairn. We may not be so simple as ye might think,” Drew said in a soft burr. Rosemary turned up her nose.
“I never believed Blair was a simple man, but he seems to have changed recently. I suppose being the leader of a clan would do that to someone.”
“Aye, ye cannae have him all to yourself now. Let me ask ye a question now, hae ye given any thought to the future? What's your plan here, lassie? Do ye want to go home or are ye happy staying wi' us for the foreseeable future?”
Rosemary shifted in her chair, looking around the room at the loud Highlanders. Drew imagined it must have been quite the change for her. He doubted that English people knew how to throw feasts like this. They were all so proper and prim.
“If I returned home now I would not be safe. It's better if I stay here. Besides, I love Blair. I do not want to be away from him. I know that may be difficult for you to understand, but when I speak of my feelings for your brother I speak the truth. I know it is not usual for two people like us to find each other and share the same feelings. I cannot speak to why the fates would want such a romance to take place, but all I know is that I want to be true to the feelings in my heart.”
“Aye, well, ye two being true could bring about another war” Drew said, shaking his head. He took a long gulp of ale and set the heavy mug down on the table. “I don't blame ye or Blair, not really, but I feel like the two of ye haenae really given much thought to the rest of us. Look around ye, do ye really want these people tae go tae war?”
“No, no I don't. Frankly, I don't know why everyone is thinking that war is inevitable. I'd much rather the English and the Highlanders left each other alone.”
“What a world that would be,” Drew said wistfully.
“I know that you and I do not have much in common, but I hope that we are able to find a way to be civil with each other. I have no plans to leave, and I love Blair fiercely. I will not be pushed aside.”
“I hae no claims on yer life, lassie. Frankly, I hae better things to do wi' me time. But I will be keepin' a close eye on ye, just tae make sure ye don't make a mess o' things. Blair sometimes does nae know what he's getting' himself in for. Ye seem like a fine lassie tae me, it's just the way things hae happened that I have a problem with. I always worry that somewhere there's some lord who is missing ye, and if they come tae find ye what will they think? Will they believe that ye fell in love with a Highlander?”
“I'll make them believe it,” Rosemary said, her face set in determination. But then she looked away and gazed into the distance.
Drew wondered what thoughts passed through her mind. Drew leaned back and worked his way through a chicken leg, picking the gristle from his teeth. It was good to see the feasting hall being occupied with such a grand occasion, but it was a shame his father could not be here.
He watched Blair move through the crowd, speaking with the other clan leaders, engaging them in conversation and arm wrestles. In these moments Drew felt glad that Blair was the laird rather than him, as he was not used to being so gregarious.
Towards the end of the night, Drew rose from his seat, leaving the bones on the table, and walked over to Blair, who was in the middle of telling a story. His eyes were bloodshot and his words were slurring.
“We must talk, brother,” Drew said. Blair shrugged him off. “Now,” Drew added, more insistent. Blair hung his head and apologized to the people around him before he rose. Drew walked out of the hall into the fresh night air, hoping that it would allow Blair to sober up, for Drew was wary of going against his brother, especially when Blair was in this drunken state. But what Drew was going to say needed to be said. He only hoped that Blair was wise enough to welcome Drew's counsel.
“What do ye want to talk about? If this is one of yer usual lectures I cannae be doing wi' that right now,” Blair said. Drew had led Blair out of the castle into the cool night air. The sky was free of clouds. The silver moon hung above them like a great orb, and the stars twinkled across the black cloak of night. The sounds of the feast were dwindling but were still present. Many of the people in attendance had left the great hall and had settled in camps across the field. Drew looked across and saw groups lumped together. Most of them were sleeping soundly, others were talking together.
“Look at them, Blair. Look at all of them.”
“I see them brother, what is your point?”
“My point is that we should not be so eager to run to war. Are ye really willing to send these men and women to their deaths?”
“I am doing no such thing,” Blair slurred. “Everyone voted. Everyone chose. I am not making a decision for anyone. You heard them in there,” he said.
“I did, all of them were drunk and would have agreed to anything at that moment in time. You're drunk too.”
“That I may be, but are ye saying I cannae hold my drink?”
“Of course not, brother, I merely wish to caution you about what ye are doing.”
“And w
hat might that be?” Blair said, steadying himself, baring his chest. He was one step away from flexing his muscles, and Drew didn't want to get into a contest of strength with him.
“Father wanted a certain way of life for us. I'm not sure that war is the right way for us.”
“War is the only way out of this. Gall's death cannae be left without punishment. The English have done too much.”
“Aye. We remember all they did. All the deaths caused. All the blood spilled. How many of the people around us will come back? What of the rest of the Highlanders?”
“Ye think that that will be the only end? Ye think badly of us, Drew. We are strong, and we can beat the Sassenach. I am tired of living in fear of them, of always having tae worry if they are going tae attack. We do nae hae tae fear them. If we let this transgression go unpunished how much further will they go? How much will they take from us? If we keep letting them get away with these things we will only encourage them tae move further up north, taking our territory, and by the time they declare war, it will be too late. We must strike before they take more liberties than we can afford tae give,” he said passionately.
Drew sighed and turned his back to Blair. He continued to gaze out at the horizon, beyond their small fiefdom to the forest that lay beyond, and even further beyond that lay the English country, source of the scoundrels and dishonorable men who seemed to think that the Highlands were their birthright.
“And what of the people at home?” Drew asked.
“What do ye mean?”
“Perhaps I should have waited to discuss this with ye when ye were sober,” Drew sighed.
“Tell me now, brother. I have my wits about me.”
“Are ye sure about that?” Drew asked with a smirk.
“About as sure as I can ever be,” Blair replied, meeting Drew's smile.
“There are some who do not agree with your decisions, Blair. Ye have gone against years of tradition by claiming that lassie as your own.”
“Aye, I know that, Drew. Ye don't have to tell me the obvious.”
“I feel as though I do. Not everyone can be swayed by passionate words. Ye must think about the common people. I dinnae think they understand how ye can declare war on the English in one breath, yet take one to yer bed with the other.”
“Rosemary is not part of the English army,” Blair replied stonily.
“I know that, and ye know that, but not everyone does. To some, she's just an English lass who has worked her way into your bed. I cannae blame them really. I felt the same when ye first came back with her.”
“And what do ye make of her now?”
“I've talked to her a bit. She seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, except for choosing to love ye,” he said, teasing Blair.
“I dinnae believe we do choose who we love, Drew. I think one day soon ye'll see that for yerself.”
“Aye, maybe, if I see this war through. Just be careful, Blair, that's all I want from ye. These are dangerous times for all of us, and things should not be taken lightly. Remember how vicious the English can be. I hope ye know what ye are doing when it comes to her.”
All good humor disappeared from Blair's face. “I told ye not to speak of her like that. Nobody can speak of her like that,” he growled.
“I dinnae mean it like that, brother. Forgive me,” Drew said.
Blair looked at him through narrowed eyes and eventually relented. Drew breathed a sigh of relief as his brother wished him a good night and then disappeared back into the castle. Drew stayed out for a little while, hoping that these people would remain safe. Then, with a sweep of his cloak he returned to his room and lay in bed, thanking the gods for all the ale he had drunk, for if it hadn't been for that he never would have been blessed by sleep.
The morning came, and with it Drew awoke with a yawn. He stretched his limbs and dragged himself out of bed, going down to the stream where he bathed with all the others. Men and women were together, some wrestling and enjoying the feeling of being in the water. Drew looked at them, tinged with sadness. Whenever he looked at them he couldn't help but wonder how many of them would be slain in war. How much blood would be on all their hands?
After washing, Drew took a walk along the river bank when he heard a soft voice. From the accent, there was no doubting that it was Rosemary. He stopped before she noticed him, and thought about moving away. Eavesdropping was not a very honorable thing to do, but then he thought about it and he realized that he had something of a duty to his clan and his brother to listen to her prayers. While in communion with God she would reveal her innermost secrets, and Drew would be able to discover once and for all if she was trustworthy.
“...and please let Sarah be safe. If you can get any message to her from me I would be eternally grateful. I long to see her again, and my father too. I hope that one day you can arrange for us to be a family once again. Please also give me the strength to continue and do as I must. I love Blair, but I fear the rest of the clan. Sometimes I feel as though there is a place for me here, but other times I am not so sure.
I suppose at some point there might be a chance for me to return to the English. Is that what you have planned for me? Is that what I should do? I loathe the thought of leaving Blair, but if there is a war and I have the opportunity to return to my old life should I not consider it? And if Blair should die I would have no ties to this place. I pray for your strength and guidance to see me through. Amen,” she said dutifully.
Drew stepped back as she rose and smoothed down her clothes before walking back towards the main camp. What Drew had heard stirred trouble in his heart. If Blair should fall then it was true, Rosemary had no ties to the Highlands, and she could easily turn and run away to the English with all the information she gathered during her time here.
It seemed to Drew that she was not so sure of her love as Blair seemed to think she was. Indeed, family ties could bind people strongly, and the pull of them transcended borders between countries.
Drew continued walking, lost in thought. He was always a man prone to brooding, especially when this weighed so heavily on his heart. Blair's judgment may well have been affected by his feelings for Rosemary, and there could come a time when Drew had to step in front of his brother to make his concerns known.
Upon hearing a sound behind him, Drew turned sharply, and was somewhat surprised to see Deirdre, Old Will, and a couple of other men, whose names escaped Drew at the present moment. Seeing them brought a sinking feeling to Drew's heart.
“What do ye want?” he asked.
Old Will and Deirdre glanced at each other. It was Old Will who shuffled forward first. His head leaned forward, his wispy hair hovered around his head, and his beady eyes looked straight at Drew.
“I think ye know why we're here,” Old Will said.
“I think I do tae, and I dinnae like it,” Drew said.
“Like it or nae, ye must have this conversation wi' us,” Old Will said. A wheezing sound accompanied every other word, for Old Will had lost a number of teeth over the years. Nobody knew exactly how old Old Will was. Some rumored him to be over a hundred years old. “I tried to speak some sense into your brother last night, but he would nae listen. He's been swayed by his heart. He would nae be the first man to suffer such a fate, but we cannae allow it to continue.”
“Ye heard what my brother said. He is a passionate man and he will nae betray his feelings. Neither shall I betray him. I have already had a conversation like this with Deirdre, and my answer remains the same.”
“Aye, ye will not betray him, but what if he hae already betrayed us? What dae we ken of this lass? She could be a spy. She could want to run away from Blair at the first sign of trouble.”
Drew thought back to Rosemary's prayer and wished he hadn't heard what he did. Stroking his jaw, he blew out his cheeks and shook his head.
“What's really important is that we support Blair. The clan must be united in a time like this. We cannae go to war with the English if we're divi
ded.”
“And we cannae go to war if there is a spy in our camp!” Deirdre shrieked. Old Will shook his head towards her, but Deirdre marched forward, her eyes flaming almost as brightly as her hair. “I know ye think I am mad and jealous about what happened, but really I just have the best interest of the clan at my heart. Ye know Blair better than any of us, but even I know that he's as stubborn as a mule. He's convinced that this lass is genuine, but how can we trust her? What proof hae she given us? All we have to gae on is Blair's heart, and this is a man who wanted to run away and leave. Can ye honestly say that ye trust Rosemary?”