by Barbara Bard
“I do apologize for not doing as you wished. I thought I was doing you a great favor. You told me before how much you deplored the idea of being married off by your father. I thought if I freed you, you could live your own life, without having to be shackled to the whims of others.”
“And in doing so you have proven yourself to be as hard as my father,” Catherine said. “You acted without consulting me, without giving me any choice in the matter. Did you really believe that I would be happy to go along with this scheme? To say goodbye to my home and my family, to live with the people who killed my brother?”
Sarah wrung her hands anxiously. Despite the name change, there were so many behaviors that were the same as had been displayed when Sarah had been acting as Rosemary. It was quite disquieting, and Catherine was not sure how much faith she should place in Sarah's words.
“The matter of your brother's death is not one I wish to speak of, but suffice it to say that none of us would be in this predicament had he not been so hellbent on war.”
“Would you speak ill of the dead? Perhaps you are happy because now you do not have to marry him.”
“I am,” Sarah said softly. “You know what kind of man he was, what kind of fate would have been in store for me had I stayed with him.”
“And you think you shall find anything better with these savages?”
“They are not what you imagine them to be, Catherine. There is much that you could learn from them. All that we have been taught is wrong. Believe me, I more than most know how difficult it is to accept this truth, but it is true nonetheless. I was made an orphan by Highlanders, remember, but I have seen that they are not all to blame.”
“Was that story true then?”
“I told you before, Catherine, that only my name was a lie. Everything else was true. Our friendship meant a lot to me-”
“So much so that you were willing to run away from it at the first opportunity,” Catherine said. Sarah's head dipped, and she wiped a tear from her eye.
“I hope you know that was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. I was scared for my very life, Catherine. I knew that if my secret was discovered Lord Flynn would have a terrible fate in store for me. I was on edge every moment I stayed with you, and I knew that I had to leave. The only thing that gave me pause was the thought of leaving you. You had proven yourself to be a true friend to me, and my only regret is that you have been hurt because of all of this. I hoped that by welcoming you into this land it would make up for some of the suffering I have caused.”
“When in fact it has only caused more suffering. You perhaps do not know me as well as you think, Sarah,” the name was still strange on Catherine's tongue.
“Perhaps...I thought you were a kind and compassionate girl, one who would flourish when away from the domineering men in her life. I thought you would seek freedom, and welcome the opportunity to forge your own path in life. I hoped that we could rekindle our friendship. I do miss you, Catherine, and there is so much we have to catch up on.”
“Like you and this Highlander?”
“Indeed,” Sarah said, and a wicked smile flashed over her face. The look in her eyes was one that Catherine had not seen before, but it was alluring and sparked her curiosity. Catherine was always one for gossip, and she did find herself wondering why and how the demure, innocent Sarah had fallen for the brutish and savage Drew, and how indeed the same thing had happened with her peer, the lady Rosemary.
“I suppose it wouldn't be improper for you to regale me with the tale. I might as well get something out of staying here,” she said, taking another sip of water. Perhaps if she learned why Sarah had fallen for Drew it might give her some insight on how to get out of this mess.
Sarah's face lit up as she told Catherine of how she and Drew met. “I ran to the forest, towards England, hoping I could flee and leave the war behind forever. I wanted a quiet, humble life, far away from all these plots and schemes. I came to a glade, and as I was resting a horse came upon me, carrying a warrior. He was wounded, and I knew that if I did not do anything he would die. I could not in all conscience leave him there, even though he was a Highlander.”
“That was brave of you,” Catherine admitted, unable to deny the strength and fortitude Sarah had shown in this matter.
“I do not believe that I could have done the same thing.”
“No, well, I could hardly believe I was doing it myself, but I did it all the same. I tended to his wounds and then he woke up. I was afraid that he would do something horrid to me. I was on the very edge of my fear. My heart was beating so viciously I thought it may very well beat right out of my chest! I actually held his sword to him for fear that he would make a move. It was so heavy...but he was too weak to move. I bathed him, fed him, and I soon saw that he was not a monster at all.”
For a moment Catherine thought that Sarah was going to weep. Her head bowed, and she raised a hand to brush away something from her eyes. She had always been too quick to fall into an emotional state. It was really becoming quite tiresome.
“The things we've been told about them have all been wrong, Catherine. They're not savages at all. They're kind, compassionate people. They're creative, they're passionate-”
“And they're ready to go to war.”
“Are we not the same? Can you really say that the Sassenach are peaceful people when we are the ones who instigated that battle? I had to question many of my preconceptions when I started to get to know Drew and his people, and I believe you should do the same.”
“I shall do no such thing. You have had your mind twisted by his soulful eyes. Sarah, don't you see what is happening here? This is exactly what we've been warned about! This is how they steal Sassenach women.”
“Nobody has stolen me,” Sarah said, smiling, “I am in my right mind, and I would not choose to be anywhere else.”
Catherine looked at her in confusion, then looked around the room.
“Here, in this place?” she asked incredulously.
Sarah nodded. “It is beautiful.”
“You truly have lost your mind because you cannot be seeing the same thing as I. This place is dark and damp, cold and heartless. It lacks everything that I am used to.”
“On the contrary, Catherine, it holds so much more. Do not take offense when I say that Lord Flynn's estate was a very beautiful house, but it was not a home. It was not filled with love, but this place is. In time you will come to see that, and you will come to see that the Highlanders are just people, just like you and I. They have their foibles, as do we all, but they are hardly the enemy here. I only want for you the same happiness I want for myself.”
“And I shall have it, Sarah, but not in the way you want. My father shall not rest until I am freed. Soon word shall reach him of my capture and he will lead another army into these lands, and he is a far different prospect than facing Harold. My father is a war veteran and he will show this place no mercy. I shall not shed a tear when this place is burned to the ground, and all that's left is a pile of ash.”
Sarah sighed.
“Then I pity you, Catherine. I did hope that you would see things in the proper way. I thought that given time...well, perhaps that may still happen. I have seen to it that no harm will come to you while you are here. I did hope that we could spend time together like we did before, but it is clear to me that you need more time to adjust. I am sorry that you have to be guarded. That is the one concession I had to make. I will come for you again. Perhaps you, me, and Rosemary can go for a walk later and you can see how beautiful the Highlands truly are.”
“Perhaps,” Catherine said, hating the tone of pity that presented itself in Sarah's voice. Sarah rose and looked as though she was about to place a hand on Catherine's shoulder, but she changed her mind at the last moment.
“Well then, I shall see you later. Please try to let go of the anger inside you, Catherine. I only want what's best for you.”
With those stinging words Sarah left. A dark cl
oud lingered over Catherine's head and she scowled as she stared at the door. The key turned in the lock and once again she was shut in, unable to escape.
Sarah wanted what was best for her. All her life people had wanted what was best for her without ever asking her first. With little else to do, Catherine moved to the window again and gazed outside, enjoying the feeling of the fresh air upon her skin.
For a moment she closed her eyes and could almost pretend that she was at home again, looking out upon the gardens, breathing in their sweet fragrance. But the illusion was quickly dispelled as when she inhaled she only smelled mead, ash, and cooked meat.
It was not a place for a lady.
Opening her eyes, she turned her gaze to the sky and looked at a flock of birds spreading their wings, soaring high. How she envied them, being able to go wherever they wished. Was this to be her life? Even when her father came for her he would only take her back with him and marry her off to some noble. It was the life she had always known she would lead, but it was not the one she wanted.
Yet when she questioned what life she did want, she found herself drawing a blank.
There weren't many ways in which she envied Sarah, but this was certainly one. The handmaiden had a strong sense of her own identity and her own place in the world. For better or worse she had taken command of her own destiny, and had forged her own path. Somehow Catherine would find a way to do the same, but first she would make every one of these Highlanders pay, starting with the man who dragged her here and guarded her.
Chapter 4
Declan sighed as Drew left, wishing that he could have gotten his point across a little better. In Drew's eyes he had not performed his duty admirably, and there was nothing Declan liked less than not being seen as responsible in the eyes of his cousin. Then, he became aware that the Highlanders around him saw him as something of a jest.
Drew had just left, and the others around Declan were all stifling their laughter at the way Drew had scolded Declan.
“I'm surprised he didnae put ye over his knee and give ye a good old spanking!” Mont said, his entire body shaking with laughter.
Declan glowered. He knew Drew hadn't meant it in that manner, but he wanted to be seen as a legend by the Highlanders, not as a figure of fun. His body bristled with tension and he wanted to break something, but there was nothing around, and he certainly wasn't going to get into a fight with Mont.
“Drew must be angry at something else, maybe he's starting tae see that he should nae have brought that Sassenach lass back with him. Perhaps she is nae as fun now as she was in the woods,” Declan said with a wicked smile and an arched eyebrow, trying to imagine what an older man would say in his position.
“Oh aye, the pup thinks he knows what goes on in the woods?” Mont asked.
“I know!” Declan said, puffing out his chest. Mont smirked, unconvinced. “The point remains that he should nae have brought her back. Dae ye nae agree?”
Mont shifted and glanced at his companions. This pleased Declan, for it showed that the matter was still sensitive, and there were still plenty who disagreed with Drew and Blair. “And Blair was the same! There are plenty of pretty Scottish lasses around, why did they nae choose one of them?”
Mont had no answer for him, but pressed his lips together and leaned forward.
“It is their business, boy. Strange things happen in war, far stranger than this. I would nae choose it for myself, but they are men and they know what they're doing.”
“They're putting the clan in danger! They cannae see they are putting themselves in danger as well as the clan.”
“Two lasses are hardly gaeing tae cause that much danger. They hae earned the right to dae what they please with their displays in war. Ye should nae be so concerned with what they are daeing anyway. Ye are young. Enjoy life.”
But how could Declan enjoy life when there was so much danger around and nobody was listening to his warnings? It was as though everyone else was blind. Blair and Drew had to realize the danger they were creating. There was no other way to handle the matter. It was simply too much to take, and as Declan glanced around the camp he was sure that there were at least a handful of loyal warriors who would flock to his side and fight to keep the clan pure. It would have been good to have Mont by his side too, but evidently that was not going to happen.
“I will,” Declan said, then took his leave. He walked through the camp and observed the people still around. Some were badly wounded and waited for themselves to heal before they left. Others simply enjoyed the company. Other men sat alone, staring into nothingness.
The brutal reality of war changed some men. All the Highlanders had charged into battle fiercely, but not all of them had shared the same ardor after having experienced battle in the front lines. Lots of men had lost friends and family. Some men had lost their minds. Declan had always grown up thinking that his people were the finest warriors in the land, but he was coming to a point in his life where he found that certain truths had been illusions all along.
Swords and spears lay strewn around the camp, some still covered in blood, some broken. They had been left as a sign that people did not want to go to war anymore, but perhaps for a good cause they would. People would have to fight for their heritage, because it was something worth fighting for, and if they wouldn't then Declan really didn't know his place in the world. That's if it came to that anyway. He hoped that he wouldn't have to fight. Blair and Drew just needed to see reason.
He walked through the camp with purpose, overhearing snippets of conversation here and there. Many people retold the story of how Drew had defeated the Sassenach lord, and Declan winced every time. Would there ever be stories like that told of him?
He left the camp behind and went into the forest, walking through the bracken and bramble until he came to a glade. The air was fresh with the smell of summer, and the sight of birds was apparent through the gaps in the trees. Declan found Deirdre lying in a sunny spot, her flame-red hair splaying out over the green grass, the curves of her body settling nicely against the moss. Declan took a moment to enjoy the sight, and wondered how any red-blooded Highlander could ever prefer a fragile Sassenach rose to this beautiful Scottish flower.
As Declan moved nearer, Deirdre heard him and cracked open an eye. Upon seeing him, she pushed herself up and leaned on one elbow, her loose clothes barely covering her flesh. Declan's eyes lingered on the valley of her cleavage, the long legs, and the heaven that lay between them. Desire stirred within him as echoes of sensations surged through his body, memories of all they had done together.
“Have ye come for another lesson?” Deirdre asked seductively. Declan was tempted to fall onto the ground beside her and lose himself in her arms again. Her body was an instrument of temptation, and she knew how to use it to its full effect. She had taught him many things in these woods, had made him a man, and Declan would be forever grateful for that.
“Perhaps later. I hae tae much on my mind,” he said regretfully.
“Oh, is my little warrior troubled?” she said.
Declan frowned at her pet name for him.
“That name used to be sweet, but now it only serves to feed my resentment,” he said tersely. The playful smile fell from Deirdre's face. She took Declan's hand and pulled him to the ground to sit beside her, then placed an arm around his shoulder. Her scent was sweet, and the warmth of her body was welcome.
“What troubles ye, Declan?” she asked seriously.
“This whole world troubles me! Nothing makes sense anymore. That battle was supposed tae be an opportunity tae win glory. Instead nothing has changed. Naebody looks at me any differently. It was all ended in one fell swoop by Drew, and now naebody thinks tae question him or Blair about their women. Naebody cares about the threat they pose!”
“Aye, it was a dark battle, and I knew how ye feel. Naebody would listen tae me when I tried tae warn them. It is a sad day when we see how our people are ending. Naebody seems tae care about the Sassenach
infection spreading through our clan. Even Fianna has been driven mad with despair after Aife's death and has nae been able tae talk sense intae her sons.”
“We have tae stop it, Deirdre. If we are the only ones who see sense then so be it. I just need to talk with them when they are clear of mind.”
“I have long waited for a man of your passion, but perhaps ye need tae dae more than speak with them. Ye need tae rally the others tae the cause. Ye need tae dae as much as ye can for the sake of the clan.” Deirdre whispered in his ear, “and we will teach Blair a lesson. He will soon learn that he should never hae scorned me!”
“Is that all ye care about? There are more important things than your ego. Dae ye really think a fight is what we need? I just need tae speak with them.”