by Barbara Bard
“Aye and nae. Others join us. Weaker families join stronger ones tae give them a better way of life and protection from anyone who would do them harm. Sometimes clans merge tae become more powerful.”
“It sounds a little like how things are designed in England. We are lords of our estate, but then we have peasants and servants who could not hope to defend themselves living with us, although they work for us, and it seems that people are free to do whatever they want in the Highlands.”
“Aye, we are nae beholden tae anyone.”
“I don't think I could live life like that, not knowing my purpose.”
“I know my purpose, lass. It is tae dae my duty, and my duty is tae protect ye.”
Catherine's heart was warmed by that, but again she felt unsettled inside for she knew that she could not go back to that castle, not after all she had been through to escape. She had gotten this far, and she could get further, all she had to do was try.
“It sounds nice, to have so many people to rely on. I have nobody now, aside from my father.”
“Ye hae us, Catherine. I know it may nae be what ye want, but ye can be happy here.”
“You sound different. Are you saying you want me to stay?”
“I am saying that things hae changed. Ye are safe. Ye dinnae hae tae worry about going back where ye came. Ye should nae be out here. Live with us. The other lasses care about ye. Sarah was distraught when I told them that ye had gone.”
“None of them understand. I have to get home,” Catherine said, trying to hide the trembling of her voice. She tossed the bones that had been stripped of meat back onto the ash and stared mournfully at the remnants of the fire that had burned so brightly mere hours ago.
“It is time tae return, Catherine. Ye cannae hope tae make it back tae England. Ye barely got this far by yerself, and I cannae let ye gae. I hae sworn tae the others that I would bring ye back.”
“No,” Catherine said determinedly.
“What dae ye mean nay?”
“I mean exactly what you think it means. I'm not going to return with you, Declan. Sarah herself could be here and tell me all that she wants to tell me, but the simple fact is that my place is at home, in England. I am not meant to live here. I cannot be like Rosemary and Sarah. I admit that the feast was far more fun than I expected, but it only made me long for home. That is my place. I am an Sassenach lady. My place is in a manor, by my father's side, so it is best that you return to your castle. You can even tell the others that I am dead if it would cast you in a better light, but I am not coming back with you, Declan.”
It took a lot for Catherine to talk to him like that, but she knew that she could not acquiesce to his demands. If she gave into him now then she would never be able to escape, for if she gave up once then she would give up again and again.
“I cannae let ye. It is my duty. If I hae tae drag ye I will.”
“Then I suppose we shall have to dance again,” Catherine said, rising to her feet. Declan shook his head and came towards her. Even though Catherine knew he was going to do exactly as he said, she still was surprised when his strong arms came around her and he went to loft her over his shoulder. Catherine beat and bit at him, catching his flesh between her teeth. He recoiled instantly, shocked that she would hurt him so.
“Leave now, Declan. Leave, and we can be done with this.”
“I cannae,” he said, looking at her strangely. Something passed between them, and Catherine felt drawn to him in the same manner as she had been before she escaped. She wanted to return to England to flee from these feelings more than anything else, because they were wrong. She could not think fondly of a Highlander. It went against everything she had been taught, every fiber of her being, and as she stood there in such close proximity to Declan she was struck by how handsome he was, and how her heart beat more rapidly than usual when he was near.
“Then we are at an impasse. But unless you want to knock me unconscious, or tie me up like these men, you will have to return without me. And I don't believe that you want to treat me like those men did.”
“Nay,” Declan said, a thoughtful look on his face. Catherine wished that he would just return; it would make the whole thing easier. Then again, Declan was never going to make his life easy.
“I know ye want tae get home, Catherine, but ye are important tae others here. My cousins gave me this task, and I cannae fail them. I want them tae look at me with respect, and if I gae back without ye I will only be a failure in their eyes.”
“You need to let me go, Declan. I cannot stress this enough. The survival of your clan may depend on it,” Catherine said, playing the last card she had. Declan tilted his head and looked at her with curiosity.
“What dae ye mean, lass?”
“My father is a ruthless man. With his only son dead and his last remaining heir captured by the Highlanders he will not rest until he has his revenge. He will storm these lands with all the soldiers he can muster, and he will kill anyone he comes across.
Your only chance of safety is to let me go so that I may prevent him from going to war with you.”
“He can try,” Declan sneered, “but he will fail. We hae already beaten yer brother, yer father will nae stand any better chance. Ye are scheming, lass, but ye will nae trick me.”
“I am not trying to trick you,” Catherine said, each word bursting out of her mouth. “I am trying to save you, goodness knows why! I don't see why I should even be worried considering I was taken away with no choice in the matter, but I care about Sarah and Rosemary and do not wish to see them suffer. When my father comes, he will come with everything he has, and he will not stop until he razes your home to the ground.”
“Ye are sae confident, but I know we can defeat him. We are Highlanders. We are proud. He cannae come to our country and expect us tae roll over.”
“Being proud is one thing, being foolish is quite another. I promise you that I am not lying, and this is no trick. I am only trying to help you. You seem to be under the impression that you can simply fight back anything you want, but that is not true. The Highlanders will not win every battle just because they are proud. As much as I do not wish to speak ill of the dead, my brother was not a very good leader. He was far too concerned for his own glory. My father, on the other hand, is a shrewd man. He has commanded in many battles over his long life, and he has come back from every battle alive. But I suppose, being a boy, you would not be able to make a good decision like that. It would take a man to let me go, to do the thing that is best for his people.”
This stoked the fire within Declan's belly. He stepped forward, closer to her, and for a moment Catherine was afraid. The fear quickly diminished though, and was replaced by something far more powerful.
“I am nae a lad,” he said. He stared at her, and their souls were joined. In that moment, when he was but inches from her face, Catherine thought that he was going to kiss her in the rough, passionate manner of a Highlander. Time seemed to stand still as his body prickled with tension. A magnetic energy seemed to pull her closer towards him, but then at the last moment he broke away, and Catherine found herself disappointed.
He turned his back to her. What was he thinking? Catherine had no idea what was going through the boy's mind. After a few moments he cursed and then turned back to her.
“Ach, I cannae believe I am daeing this, but if ye are right then I am coming with ye,” he said.
Catherine wore an expression that was a mixture of shock and surprise.
“What? You can't come back with me.”
“I hae tae. If ye are speaking the truth then our safety relies on ye. The path back tae England is dangerous and ye could die at any moment. I have tae see that ye return safely.”
“But my father will capture you,” Catherine said, unable to hide the worry from her voice.
Declan shook his head. “I will nae be found. I will return home as soon as I can, but ye will promise me that ye are telling the truth. If ye are betraying me I
shall...” he trailed off, unable to finish the thought.
When Catherine looked at him she saw in his eyes that same vulnerability as she had found before, and wondered if it would be the betrayal that hurt the most, or the fact that she would be betraying him. She did not want to see any harm come to this man, but she was thrilled at the prospect of being in his company for some time longer. She also felt much safer with him by her side.
“We'd best be off then,” Declan said, his words heavy. Catherine wasn't sure what to say to him. She knew what he was giving up by going back to England with her. She knew how much his duty meant to him, and how painful it would be for the ones they had left behind in the castle, for none of them would know what had happened.
Declan walked over to his horse and began to fiddle with some leaves.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I am sending my cousins a message. They will nae be pleased. I can only hope they will understand when I return and explain myself tae them,” he said. Catherine looked and saw that he had arranged the leaves in a certain way, tying them through the mane of the horse. Then, he slapped the horse on its rump and it went galloping away through the trees, the echoes of its hooves receding as it grew further away from them.
Declan and Catherine then went to the cart of the men he had killed and patted the horses. They looked in the back and saw that there was plenty of salted meat, some vegetables, and some ale and water. It was enough to satisfy them for a long way. He helped Catherine up into the cart and then Declan took the reins. They trundled away in silence. Catherine was finally being taken home, so why wasn't she completely happy?
Chapter 12
Declan's eyes were focused on the path ahead. A narrow road wound through the forest, and it was this they followed. The heavy cart was pulled by the horses, and Declan was glad that he did not have to focus on guiding them too much because he had far too much whirling around in his mind.
He had been tasked to bring Catherine back, and he was going against his duty, but this time it didn't seem wrong. The words Catherine spoke had the ring of truth to them, and when she had spoken he heard the clash of steel and the howls of the dying in his mind. More war beckoned. More blood would be spilled, and for all the might of the Highlanders Declan knew that war was not something they should welcome.
He thought of his father too, and knew that if there was another battle the chances of ending up like his father would increase dramatically. Still, part of him wondered if he should just turn the cart around and take Catherine back so that he could talk to Drew and Blair about it.
But he was a man now. He had to stop thinking like a boy. Boys went to other people to make their decisions for them, while men acted decisively. It was a risk, venturing so deep near the border, but his plan was to escort Catherine back so that she could be picked up, and then perhaps he could scout the area and find out if an army was being summoned.
Something deep inside him told him that he should trust Catherine. He wasn't sure what it was, but there was something between them, and he had almost given into his fiery desire when she had called him a boy. She had a certain way of getting under his skin, but whenever he found himself maddened by her, he was also intoxicated, and only wanted to be near her.
Even now, although he wasn't looking directly at her, he could still sense her presence. He knew that she was there with him, ready with a sharp quip. She was unlike any woman he had ever known. She was forthright and strong, and would not take anything less than she deserved. The more he got to know her the more he admired her, but all these feelings conflicted with his own beliefs about the Sassenach.
Was it possible that he had been blinded just like Blair and Drew? Had Catherine worked her wily ways upon him and twisted his mind? The thought of it was frightening, but he wanted to give himself far more credit than that. He knew his own mind, and he did not think he would be so easily manipulated. Every decision he made was one that he had made of his own accord.
It followed then that the only other possibility was that he had been mistaken about the Sassenach girls all along. Blair and Drew were strong-willed in their own right, and the more he thought about it the more he found it difficult to believe that they could be deceived. After his interactions with Rosemary and Sarah he knew they were level-headed, and although Rosemary was outspoken she seemed to have a fair mind.
It was difficult to admit that he had been wrong, but there was no other conclusion to come to.
He realized that he owed his cousins more than one apology, and was determined to make it up to them when he returned. He would be the perfect cousin to them, and he would make them proud. And if Catherine was telling the truth he hoped that Blair and Drew would see that his actions helped save the Highlanders from being attacked by a vicious man.
They continued through the forest as quickly as possible, only stopping for some food when their stomachs growled. Later on, they found a stream and stopped so the horses could have some water, and Catherine could splash some water on her face, although she complained all the time that the water was too cold.
“Ye should be amazed at the wonder of nature,” Declan cried out, amused.
“I don't know why you're so concerned with living in this primitive way. There are so many advances we have made as a civilization that you would do well to adopt. Trust me, if you spent one night in my estate you would never want to leave.”
“I highly doubt that. It is nae likely that ye can bathe and hunt at the same time,” Declan said.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, dae ye hae fish swimming in yer tubs?”
Catherine's eyes went wide with shock and the color drained from her face. It seemed as though she had not considered the fact that there were wild animals in the stream. At the thought of it she screamed and ran from the stream, water dripping from every part of her, a look of fury on her face, as though Declan had contaminated the water with fish purposefully.
“The longer I spend out here, the more eager I am to return home,” she said as she gathered up her clothes and returned to the cart, eager to be on their way.
They continued on until night fell. Declan deemed it too dangerous to travel in such bleak conditions, so they pulled aside to a clearing and settled down for the night.
“I still think we could continue on for a little while longer. It seems to be a straight path forward,” Catherine said, annoyed that she had to alight from the cart and sit on the ground.
“Aye, that we could, but dinnae ye think the horses could dae with a wee rest?” Declan said, gathering some sticks and kindling to make a fire. Catherine pulled her knees into her chest and sat there.
“Can ye get the meat from the cart while I am daeing this?” he asked. Catherine arched an eyebrow and muttered again, for of course she had been used to servants doing all this for her. Declan found the entire thing amusing. Catherine was a pampered girl who didn't seem to have any knowledge at all of how to live in conditions like these. When the fire had sparked Declan leaned back and enjoyed the warmth. Catherine had brought out some meat and water for them to eat, which they had to wait to cook.
“Tell me, lass, how did ye think ye were gaeing tae make it all the way back tae England?” he asked.
“I would have found a way.”
“Ye can nay even make a fire!” Declan cried indignantly.
“I wasn't thinking of that when I left. The only thing in my mind was that I had to leave. I just hoped that the entire thing would work out.”
“And ye ended up being captured.”
“Yes, well, I'd rather not dwell on that,” Catherine said, shifting uncomfortably. Declan thought back to the terrified look that had been on her face when he had come across her. He knew well enough what they had planned for her, and the thought of it made him angry.
“I hope ye know that nae all Highlanders are like that.”
“I know, and I hope you know that not all Sassenach are like my brother.
”
“Aye,” Declan said, dwelling on his own thoughts for a moment, and how much they had changed in recent times. Before this battle the Sassenach had been faceless enemies, akin to the ogres and trolls that he had only heard about in fables. They were just people like him though, people who had their own fears and desires, and their own sense of duty.
Catherine, for instance, was determined to make her way home. That was her duty, and for some reason she had taken it upon herself to try and protect the Highlanders as well, as much as she was able to at any rate.
“Can I ask ye a question?” Declan said as he handed her some meat. Catherine took it, wincing a little, for the juice was hot.
“You may, although I cannot promise that I will answer you.”