by Barbara Bard
Declan and she remained connected for a few moments until he extricated himself from her and lay on his back, looking as tired as she felt. Catherine stared in wonderment at his body, amazed that she could share something so intimate with someone so powerful and majestic. Then, she nestled her head against his chest, draped her arm around his body, and let out a long, satisfied sigh.
“I never thought it would be like that,” Catherine said.
“Aye lass, me neither. We hae come a long way,” Declan said.
“We have indeed. Who would have thought that the two of us would have ended up like this? Certainly not me, not when I first saw you anyway.”
“When did ye first start seeing me differently?” he asked, looking down at her. Catherine had to think a few moments, for it was a difficult question to answer.
“Perhaps when we started talking. There was a vulnerability to you that made me think you weren't what I had imagined. I spoke with Rosemary and Sarah as well, and that changed my perception of you. At first I thought you were a mindless, uncaring brute, but I quickly changed my mind and knew you to be a kind and compassionate man.”
“Thank ye for saying that. I know it was nae easy tae see me that first night. I had tae much ale and was greatly troubled.”
“Are you still troubled now?”
“Nae with the same matters.”
“You brood too much for someone so young, Declan. You do not have to carry the weight of the world upon your shoulders.”
“It’s nae the weight of the world, lass, it’s just the weight of the Highlands. I want tae dae as much as I can tae see that they are safe.”
“You will, Declan. You have done already. You've done more than most. But what about yourself? What about your own life? Surely you realize that you must not lose sight of your own happiness?”
“Aye, I know. Blair and Drew told me much the same thing, but it is hard tae shake the habit of a lifetime. Even now there is much tae concern us, much about the future.”
“You should learn to enjoy the present,” she said, stroking the wide expanse of his chest, kissing him lightly near his heart.
“I dae,” Declan said, returning the gesture as he stroked her arms and shoulders, “but I cannae be blind tae the future.”
“And what do you think it holds? We have come a long way, but we have a long way to go too. Where do you see our path taking us?”
“I hope tae a happy life. I cannae promise ye I will be the gentleman ye hae always wanted, but I will try my best tae be good tae ye. As for the rest, well, I suppose that depends on yer father and how well we can defend against him.”
“I so hate that my family and you have to be at war.”
“I dae tae. I hae been thinking, Catherine, and I will nae blame ye if ye wish tae return home one day. I hae been thinking about it a lot, and know how important it is tae ye. If the fighting gets tae bad I would rather ye return home tae safety than stay with me.”
'And die,' Catherine knew he was about to say, but had stopped himself before he could. The offering was startling to Catherine, and only proved to her once more that Declan was everything she had wanted in a man. He was only lacking the refinement of a gentleman, but the more time Catherine spent with him the more she realized how unimportant that factor was.
“I am never returning there,” Catherine said. “I thank you for the kindness, but my place is with you. If we are to die, then we shall do so together, because that is how we must live now, together. I have only realized recently how incomplete my life has been without you, Declan. It is as though you are the missing part I was never searching for, and I would be a fool if I turned away from you now. Let us rise and return to the Highlands where we can tell Blair and Drew about what has transpired. I am sure they are missing us,” Catherine said.
Declan nodded, and the two of them helped each other up. They took a moment to embrace, enjoying the feeling of each other’s flesh once more. It felt natural, and Catherine almost wished that the two of them could simply remain in the woods, alone and untroubled by the rest of the world.
Unfortunately, there were other matters at play, and they had to return to the Highlands to warn the others about the impending attack. She and Declan clothed themselves and returned to the wagon to continue the journey home.
On the way they stopped and shared intimacy again. Each time the sensations grew deeper and more refined as they became used to each other's body. Catherine was afraid that they would encounter bandits, but their journey back was free of incident. However, Catherine's mind did play on a great many things. She had left everything she knew behind all for this man. There were moments when she was afraid that something would go wrong and she would end up regretting it, but then Declan would look at her and smile, and her fears would recede.
That day was the day when Catherine considered herself to have become a woman, and although she and Declan were not married she felt as though the bond they had formed was stronger than any marriage she might have had had she remained in England.
It even brought a smile to her face to think of her father, so incensed that she had run away in defiance. He'd most likely blame it on the influence of the Highlanders rather than as a fault in his own parenting style, but it was about time that his life of cruelty had been repaid. He had spent his life treating people as objects, and now he was alone. His family had either been killed or deserted him. All the respect and glory he had earned would not serve to comfort him, and the anger that burned within him would die out more quickly than he realized.
For all her life she had looked at her father with pride and honor, but as her perspective widened she realized how petty and cruel he really was. Catherine could well have followed that path and ended up just like him, but she wanted a better life for herself, one filled with love.
Chapter 20
Declan's mind was reeling for the entire duration of the journey back to the Highlands. Every time he looked over at Catherine he was unable to believe how fortunate he was to share in the glory of love with a woman who was the embodiment of loveliness and grace. The moments where they stopped the wagon and engaged in intimacy were cherished memories to him, and he was glad that he seemed to be able to please her. In those first moments he had been worried that he wouldn't be good enough, that he wouldn't be enough of a warrior for her, but the spirit that rested in his soul was that of a warrior indeed. The more time he spent with Catherine the more he gained a better understanding of himself and his place in the world.
He looked back to how he had acted and realized that he had been foolish. Love was not something that should be denied, even when it was between a Highlander and an Sassenach girl. He had been immature, but now he had a better perspective on things, and he was determined to make his life a good one.
Yet in the back of his mind was always the fear of the future, and the threat that Catherine's father posed. Declan knew that he would have to prove himself in battle once again, and would most likely earn a few more scars to accompany the one he already had. He tried to not talk about that with Catherine though, for he did not want to fill her head with sorrow. He only wanted to make her happy.
Thankfully, they made it through the Highlands without incident. If her father had sent someone in pursuit of them they had not been able to catch up, and there was nothing to worry about. Declan was home again, in the safe bosom of the Highlands. They rode the wagon through the woods and out into the field. The castle came into view, and the valleys beyond.
“It is good tae be home,” Declan said with a smile on his face. Most of the other clans seemed to have cleared out by now, and the village around the castle was less busy than it had been when the army had resided here. As they grew closer Declan called out about his return and people welcomed him back, looking at him and Catherine with shock. He noticed that Catherine huddled closer to him and looked a little more reticent than she had been on their journey.
“What is on yer mind?” he asked.
“You are being welcomed home, but I do not know how I am to be received. I did escape after all. They do not know me as you do. To them I am still a Sassenach girl, a Sassenach girl who escaped.”
“I think the people here are getting more used tae the Sassenach. Ye should drive the worry from yer mind. I will nae let anything happen tae ye,” he said.
Declan took the wagon to the stables and then alighted from it, helping Catherine down. He kept hold of her hand as they walked towards the castle.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Catherine said, glancing down at their linked hands.
“I am nae ashamed of my feelings for ye, Catherine. A man has to own his feelings and his life. I will nae be ashamed of what brings me happiness and joy.”
Her face lit up with a smile, and Declan smiled too. It was in these moments when his love truly blossomed, when he realized that all he wanted to do was keep her smiling for the rest of her life.
The two of them were the recipients of many stares as they walked towards the castle, but nobody came up to speak to them. Declan knew that many of them would be confused by his change in behavior, but he felt as though he was returning as a man, and he did not have to explain himself to them.
They made their way into the castle, and moved into the throne room, where they found Drew, Blair, Rosemary, and Sarah. All of them were weary and looked gaunt.
“Cousins!” Declan cried out. All four of them turned their way. There was a moment of disbelief, then they erupted in cheer as they ran over to Declan and Catherine, embracing them warmly. Even Sarah and Rosemary hugged Declan, and he embraced them back. When they had exchanged their hugs Catherine remained at his side, their arms linked together. Blair saw this and cocked an eyebrow.
“I think I see now why ye took sae long tae return,” he said with a knowing smile. Rosemary glared at him, and Declan smiled sheepishly.
“It is a long story,” Declan said. He and Catherine took a seat at one of the tables, and the others surrounded him as he told the story of all that had happened. Catherine filled in the details when she knew something he didn't, and the two of them tossed the story between each other as children would toss a ball. The others remained silent, listening to everything they said, until they came to the grim end.
“Sae it seems that we are gaeing tae suffer another attack. Catherine's father will nae stop. I hae met the man myself and looked intae his eyes. I would nae like tae dae the same thing again. He was gaeing tae leave me locked up for the rest of my life just sae he could prolong my suffering,” Declan said.
“I did try to sway him from this course of action, but he is quite dedicated to the idea of going to war with you. He wants revenge for the death of Harold, and now he'll want to get me back as well. He won't believe that I ran away. I am...I'm sorry for bringing this upon you. I wanted to try and stop him, to keep you safe,” Catherine said, her voice trembling with emotion.
“It is better that you are here, Catherine,” Sarah said, offering a warm smile.
“Aye, we shall protect ye as best we can,” Drew added.
“But it seems we shall hae tae gather the rest of the clans back here. It will be a grim day indeed,” Blair said.
“I hae some other news tae. Ye may wish tae be careful. Before we left for England Catherine was attacked by Highlanders. They dinnae agree with all ye are daeing, and while they will be united against the Sassenach they will be nae content tae let things lie,” Declan warned.
“Thank ye for yer warning, cousin. It is good tae have ye back, both of ye,” Blair said, smiling warmly at the two of them. “Ye should rest now though, and nae trouble yerselves with thoughts of the future. Ye will always hae a home here. Speaking of home, Declan, ye may want tae visit with yer father. We had nae choice but tae tell him ye were missing. He will be pleased tae see ye. But first, ye should rest after yer journey. Ye hae been through a lot. Ye hae done us proud though, Declan. Ye hae remained strong when many others would nae have.”
Declan beamed with pride, but the mention of that brought thoughts of Alastar to his mind.
“There is another thing. Have ye ever heard of the Blue Thistle?” Declan asked.
Blair and Drew nodded.
“I remember Father talking about him,” Drew said. “He used tae fight the Sassenach?”
“Aye, and he carried on that fight after the war was over, with his son, who was imprisoned with me. He said he hae unfinished business with the Sassenach.”
“Then we hae an ally behind enemy lines,” Blair said with a thoughtful smile. “Thank ye for telling us, Declan, thank ye for everything.”
He walked up to Declan and embraced him once again. This time Declan felt as though he was being embraced as an equal, not merely as a boy. He smiled at Catherine and the two of them left the chamber, after Rosemary and Sarah had promised to speak with Catherine later as well.
When the two of them were alone both of them collapsed in a heap, tired and exhausted. They wrapped each other up in their arms and breathed in deeply.
“That went better than expected. They didn't even seem angry that I tried to escape,” Catherine said.
“I am sure by now their worry for us was more important. I hope my father is nae upset,” Declan said. “I shall gae and see him soon.”
“Can I come?” Catherine asked.
“Are ye sure?”
“I am. I have just turned my back on the only family I have ever known. I am alone here, Declan, I will need a new family. Besides, I'm sure he will have plenty of stories about you when you were younger,” she said with a teasing smile. Declan kissed her on the head.
“I know how ye feel. When I was in the dungeon I could nae think of anything other than that I would nae see him again, or anyone else. I hated the thought of being alone, or being forgotten. I was scared that my life would be over, and that I would nae be able tae dae anything I wanted.”
“And what did you want to do?”
“Raise a family, build a home, see the land prosper,” he said. “And with the threat of war I hope that I can help defend the land, and defend ye. I want tae hae a long life with ye, Catherine.”
“I want to have a long life too. It's still so strange to me, to be here and have a life wholly different from the one I had been preparing for, but I would not wish to be with anyone else. Let us go and see your father first thing in the morning. I am eager to introduce myself, and I hope that he will be pleased to see me.”
“I am sure he will,” Declan said, closing his eyes. The two of them were so tired that they fell asleep almost immediately. The sun had barely begun its descent, but they slept right through that and through all the hours of the night.
As the dawn sun rose, Declan awoke with a yawn, feeling refreshed and eager to meet the day. He looked down and saw the sleeping form of Catherine beside him, and took great joy in the sight, and in knowing that he would be waking up to this sight for the foreseeable future.
However, Declan was not one to rest, especially not when there was much to do. He wanted to see his father as soon as possible, so he let Catherine rest as he walked to the stables to prepare a cart.
He walked with a smile on his face, happy to be back in the castle once again, free to move about as he desired. There was a moment when he stood still and placed his hand upon the cold stone, closing his eyes, feeling tremendously glad that he was home again. The whole experience had given him peace in his soul, and for that he was grateful, although he knew that he had come so close to never having a life.
As soon as he was out in the open, breathing in the fresh air of the Highlands, he was accosted by Deirdre.
“I cannae believe what I hae heard! Ye hae brought that lass back and are in love with her?!” she said.
Declan rolled his eyes and tried to walk away, but Deirdre would not let him. She grabbed his shoulder and pulled him around, fury in her eyes.
“I always thought ye were smarter than yer cousins, but I see ye are j
ust as pig-headed! Are ye willing tae throw away everything we were fighting for?” she asked.
Declan looked at her, not as a wide-eyed naive boy who wanted to make an impression on those superior to him, but as a man, who knew his own mind and his own place in the world.
“Ye always wanted a fight, Deirdre, when all I wanted was tae talk with my cousins and make them see the truth of what they were daeing. I was wrong. Ye are wrong now. Ye are holding ontae yer anger and it is nae daeing ye any good. Let gae and live yer life. Forget about Blair. I will nae be a part of this any longer. Ye should see by now that Blair and Drew are nae leading us tae ruin. They are daeing all they can tae take care of the clan, and ye should be grateful. If ye dinnae like how they live their lives then ye should leave. Ye dinnae hae tae stay here,” Declan said.