by Ali Parker
"My parent's are having their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary." She sounded almost bored with the announcement.
I glanced over my shoulder and forced myself into a calm I didn't feel. "Nice. I'll take care of everything. No worries."
"Do you have time to chat later today?" She gave me a cute, innocent smile that would make most men howl like heathens.
"I might. I'll stop by your office after my classes if I can manage it." I turned back to Mark, not waiting on the bitch's response. She was a snake in the grass and had her eyes completely on me.
Some part of me wanted to send her to McKenzie and Bryant to let Damon deal with her ass, but there was no way I would do that. He and Bethany were finally working things out, and I loved them both. Hurting them would bring me no joy, and it's not like Heather was going anywhere. She wanted a hard fuck in the hall closet from one person. Me.
"You good on getting someone then?" Mark reached out and patted my shoulder.
"Yeah. Sure." I moved past him and walked to the stairwell just outside of our office, my mind running through the possibility of asking Dana.
I'd called ten times over the last two weeks, but had yet to leave a message. She thought me to be a creeper for sure by now, but some part of me could care less.
After getting settled in my classroom, I dropped down in the front row and pulled out my phone. I had another twenty minutes until my class would show up.
"Please." I closed my eyes and tilted my chin toward the ceiling. "Please, please, please let her come. Maybe we can just be friends if nothing else."
We couldn't. I already knew without a doubt, but it didn't stop me from wanting anything I could get from her. I just needed a way back into her life. Surely she would forgive me over time. I wasn't at all at fault for the situation and nothing had changed for me.
Yes, Ana was her sister. Yes, I'd once thought I was in love with Ana, but I was wrong. At the first sign of trouble, Ana picked up and ran, leaving me to stand in the spotlight of shame alone. If I did love the girl, I'd quickly gotten over it.
That was a lie.
I let out a soft sigh. I knew two things.
One, I didn't love Ana anymore. I didn't have any feelings for her when she walked through the door at Dana's mother's house. Nothing. Not even a drop of lust, love or longing.
And two, I was completely in love with Dana. She was everything I wanted in my life, everything I'd ever dreamed I might have.
I dialed the number and almost hoped that she wouldn't pick up. It would be easier to just leave a message and chunk the ball back into her court.
Four rings later, the answering machine picks up.
Her sweet voice filled my ear, leaving my pulse racing and my cock hardening in my slacks. She sounded like a naughty angel. My angel. I was so going to hell.
"This is Dana Young. I'm not here right now, but if you want to leave me your name and number, I'll try and get back to you soon. I hope you're having a healthy day!!"
The loud beep resounded in my ear, and I sucked in a shaky breath.
"Dana, it’s Kendal. Look, I know we haven't talked in a couple of weeks, but I really could use your help. I have an accounting honors event that I have to chaperon this Friday. I know its short notice, but I need a female grad-student that's not in the club to attend with me." I took another breath and stood up, feeling a little light-headed. What the fuck was wrong with me? "Just wanted to see if you might be free. I'd love to see you, but I totally understand if you're busy or don't want to see me. I want to explain everything, but we don't have to do that on Friday. I just... fuck. I'm rambling, aren't I? Call me if you're interested, but if not, it's all good."
I hung up before I whispered, 'bye, baby' into the phone and locked in my creeper status forever.
The door to the auditorium opened and a few students walked in, saving me from either an emotional breakdown or me making the mistake of calling her back... over and over and over until she answered.
After avoiding women altogether for the last six years, I was going to turn into a Class-A stalker if I wasn't careful.
From not caring at all to caring too much.
Was there no way to strike a balance and live in the middle where moderation existed? I would have thought so before, but not now.
I yearned for Dana so much more than I thought possible.
I was even willing to leave my career and move to New York... today, tonight, tomorrow. Whatever she wanted.
But first, I needed to get her to talk to me, to see me.
"Dr. Tarrington? You alright, man? You look lost in thought."
I smirked and extended my hand to one of my students. "Yep. Just trying to solve a cost accounting question that none of you nugget-heads stand a chance against."
"Awww... cold! Throw it at us. We'll get it."
"We'll see about that." I forced a smile and turned my back on them walking to the front of the class. Dana would play on my mind all day long, the idea of her ignoring my call the only thing I could seem to think about.
Losing her hurt like a bitch, but not standing a chance of getting her back?
I couldn't even fathom it.
Chapter 4
Dana
Going on a date with Talon was the last thing I wanted to do, but of course the guy called shortly after I got off the phone with Brandon. He didn't even ask, but simply assumed I was willing to go seeing that my brother already made the confirmation with him.
I grumbled all the way to work the next morning. My evenings were my time to soak in a hot tub, drown myself in ice cream and wine and cry until I had no tears left inside of me.
It was becoming a tradition. A very fucked up, nightly tradition.
"Dana. You have a minute?" Dr. Lewis stood beside the ER reception desk. "I apologize about having to miss our meeting yesterday. Something came up with my wife."
"Sure. No problem." I readjusted my backpack on my shoulder and moved up beside him as we walked down the hallway. "I hope your wife is okay."
"She's undergoing cancer treatments." He glanced over at me, the worried expression on his face shooting an arrow through my heart.
"Oh. I'm sorry." I tried to think of something better to say, but nothing came to me. Funny how his pain had the power to make mine seem so small.
"No, we're okay. She's a trooper." He held the door to the elevator open for me. "She'd been fighting it for some time, and things aren't looking nearly as good as I would like for them to, but we're not giving up."
"Good. Is there anything I can do?" I moved into the elevator and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Just give me an update on Kendal. You're seeing him, right?" He slipped his hands in his pockets and gave me a soft smile. He had no clue of the drama we'd been through lately.
"Sort of." I shrugged, not quite ready to lay out my dirty laundry in front of one of the leading physicians in our hospital.
"Well, make sure you tell him that Denise and I are still praying for him, and when he's ready, we'd love to have him over for dinner." He glanced down at his feet. "Sooner than later, hm?"
"Of course." His message was loud and clear. He wasn't saying what he wanted to say, but I'd been around the dying for far too long. His wife didn't have much time left.
"I'd love for you to come too. Bring him with you?"
The elevator opened and I nodded before walking out. The chances of Kendal and I ending up at a dinner with Dr. Lewis and his wife were slim. He would move on, and I would transfer to New York to see about getting a residency in St. Mark's Hospital. I could be closer to Olivia and get away from the possibility of watching Kendal get back with my sister.
That's not going to happen. It can't.
The sickening feeling had only grown as I walked into Dr. Lewis's office and sat down in front of his desk. "I hope this isn't about me missing three days last week. We had a family emergency, and I filled out all of the necessary paperwork to make sure I wasn't counted for those days."<
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He smiled and sat down at his desk. "Nothing of the sort."
"Good." I tried to relax, but found myself sitting stiffly in front of him.
"I told you the other day that I was impressed with you jumping into action. You have great ratings on your internship as well." He paused and I tried to think of something to say, but couldn't. I sat there looking stupid, no doubt. "You're looking at a nursing program from what I could see in your records, but I think you have the gifts and talents necessary to be a pretty powerful physician. It's more schooling, but in ten, twenty years, you can use that and your business degree to run a hospital. I think that's something you should consider. I haven't seen someone with as much heart and head in my hospital since I started."
Tears burned my eyes. I was too sensitive for a conversation about my greatness. Partially because I didn't believe there was any.
"I'm sorry." I reached for a Kleenex and pressed it to my eyes. "Thank you for your kindness."
"No kindness here, Dana. I'm being honest. You should consider moving your masters from nursing and into medicine and taking up residence here, or I have some friends at St. Mark's that would love to have you. My stepbrother works up there and he's always looking for help. You could work in the nursing program until you get through your masters, and then we'll place you, or they will for residency. I talked with Aiden this morning."
"It's a lot to think about." I swallowed and moved back in my chair.
"It is. You're right. You and Kendal discuss it. I know he loves his position at UT, but NYU is right down the road from St. Mark's. They're a great school too." He brushed his fingers over his mouth as I continued to wipe at my eyes.
I didn't have the heart to tell him Kendal and I weren't together. Hell, I didn't have the heart to accept it.
"Thank you, Dr. Lewis."
"Nate when it's just us." He smiled warmly. "Would you be willing to chat with Dr. Aiden Crawford from St. Mark's? He's my stepbrother and is a brilliant brain surgeon."
I nodded. Anything that might mean I could run from my current situation, and I was in. Kendal wasn't going to be part of my future, but that honestly meant that Dallas wasn't either. I needed a clean break. A new start.
The universe was shifting and providence was throwing me a ray of sunlight. I couldn't have Kendal, but maybe I would have this.
"There are plenty of great scholarships. We can have Dani, my secretary, look up for NYU or UT for you. Just let me know which way you're headed and know that I'm here to help." He leaned back and clasped his hands over his chest.
"Thank you," I whispered and blotted at my eyes. "Forgive me for-"
"No need. Thanks for meeting with me today." I stood up and walked to the door, pausing only as he called out. "And Dana?"
"Yes, Sir?" I glanced over my shoulder.
"Make sure you take care of Kendal. He's a good man. His mother meant the world to my family. He deserves happiness."
"Yeah. He does." I closed the door behind me and resigned myself to depression for the rest of the day. Kendal did deserve every good thing that life could offer, but who the hell was I to think I could provide it?
I needed to talk to my sister, though it would kill me to do it. I needed to tell her to get back with him, to give him a future that would blow his mind.
She could do that. She was Ana.
*
"That was fun." Talon glanced over at me from the driver's side of his beat-up pickup truck. "You want me to take you back to your Mom’s or do you maybe wanna-"
"My Mom’s." I gave him a shy smile, feeling like shit for pretending to have a good time. The date wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. It felt like going out with a stranger that I never planned on seeing again. Weird. Awkward. A lie.
"Oh okay." He chuckled nervously. "I was just going to see if you wanted to have a drink back at my place."
"Maybe next time." Fuck. Had I just agreed to a next time? It wasn't happening. I'd have to tell Brandon to let his friend down softly. He'd set the poor guy up with his broken-hearted sister, he could let him down.
I was an idiot for agreeing to it.
"Oh yeah. For sure. Next time." He snorted and pulled up in my mother's driveway. "You want me to walk you to the door?"
"Nope." I opened the door and got out, turning back toward him. His spiky blond hair had enough mousse to last a week, his tattoos hot, but covering every inch of skin up to his throat. He not only wasn't Kendal, but he was the opposite of him. "But thank you."
"Yeah. Sure, and Dana." He leaned toward my seat and reached out.
I extended my hand to take his, feeling incredibly tense about what he was up to. "Yeah?"
"I really like you. I think we could be something special." He cleared his throat and released my hand. "You're a beautiful woman. Think about letting me be your man."
"You barely know me." I pulled my hand back slowly, trying not to offend him. He was nice enough, just not someone I would ever see myself with.
"I know, but I wanna know everything about you." He smiled. "I'm being sappy."
"Kinda, but its okay." I moved back. "Call me soon."
"Like now?" He laughed and I closed the door, faking a smile that left me feeling like shit.
I walked to the house, pulling out my phone just to look like I had something to do. A missed call. From Kendal.
"And a message." I stopped on the front porch and dropped down onto the porch swing, putting the phone to my ear. His voice was deep, delicious, perfect. I closed my eyes and leaned back, letting the high of knowing that he wanted to still talk to me wash down my center and bring me to life.
He'd called and hung up a few times, making me think he was second guessing his desire to talk to me. No. He was broken. Hurt. Needy.
Just like me.
The front door opened, and my mom poked her head out. "You back already?" She smiled. "It's not even dark yet."
"Don't ask." I tucked the phone in my pocket. Kendal wanted me to chaperon an event for the college, but there was no way. I didn't want to talk through things, because it would simply show my insecurities. My sister was better than me in a million ways, and I knew myself. I would blurt them all out and help solidify in his mind why Ana was much better for him than I was.
"That bad?" My mom moved back and held the door open.
"Talon was fine, but my heart is broken, Mom." I sat down at the kitchen table as emotion beat against the back of my throat. "I fell in love with Kendal. I know you think he's a piece of shit."
My mother brushed her hand down the back of my head before sitting down and taking my hand. "I'm not in love with the idea of you seeing him, but maybe I was wrong. We were pretty hard on your sister when she started dating him six years ago, but she was one of his students. Your father had a cow over it."
"You called him a pervert the other day."
She smiled as if she were proud. "I did, didn't I?"
"Mom." I gave her a look to remind her that this was the man I wanted to marry.
"Right." She released my hand and sat back. "My only concern is how this man ended up with Ana and then you. How could he not know? Explain that to me?"
"I don't know." I let my hands drop into my lap. "I know that he loved her. He told me before we realized that she was my sister. He hasn't dated since her. There's no way he could have linked us up."
"Sure he could have, baby. He's a professor at UT and you're a student. All he has to do is look up Ana's record and he could find you."
"You think he used me to get to her?" Horror filled my chest as I glanced up and tried not to scream.
"What? No. I didn't mean... well, it sounded like that, didn't it?" She gave me a quizzical look."
"Yeah. It did, Mom." I let out a sigh. "I love him so much. I just want him to be happy."
"Have you spoken to him since he left here?"
"No. He's called a few times, but didn't leave a message." I pulled my phone from my pocket. "He finally called and asked m
e to come to a school event on Friday with him."
"He's not allowed to date students, Dana. He's playing with fire again."
"I know." I pushed the phone around, wanting to break away from my mother so I could listen to his message ten more times in privacy. "We're not getting back together, and he didn't know I was a student when we met. I helped his sister at the hospital. She died a few weeks back."
"Oh, no. That's horrible." My mother's expression was comforting. She cared that he was suffering. Maybe there was hope.
"I just keep thinking that Ana is more suited for him. She's beautiful and smart and they have so much in common."
"Does he love you, Dana?"
"I don't know. I thought he did. It sure felt like he did." I reached up and pressed my fingers to my eyes. I didn't want her pity or anyone else's. Kendal deserved the best. He deserved Ana.
"Then you go after him. Your sister missed her chance. She's gone against your father and I more times than I care to admit to, but she didn't that time. You know why?"
"Why?" I whispered, having trouble breathing.
"Because she didn't love him the way he loved her. He deserves better. He deserves you, baby. Just make sure that he's in love with you, Dana. Don't get hurt."
I stood up and moved to hug her. "I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but maybe I'll go to the event this weekend and at least talk things out with him."
"I think that's a good idea." She patted my butt and smiled up at me. "And you know what?"
"What, Mama?"
"Ana thinks you're beautiful and smart, too. She wants to be like you."
"Lies." I smiled.
"No... I promise, baby. Stop living in her shadow, and remind me to tell her to stop living in yours."
Chapter 5
Kendal
"Why is this fucking me up so much? My stomach is a wreck and I can't get my heart to stop racing." I paced the floor in my office late Friday afternoon. I had a few minutes before I needed to head over to help set up for the Beta Alpha Psi Fall Festival.