While her grandmother answered yes, Rachel had to keep her mouth from dropping open at Taylor’s take-charge attitude. She’d never done that before.
“Mom, how about the Chex mix?”
“Already have it done and ready to go.”
“Max, hot chocolate?”
“I’ll have it.”
Taylor rotated toward her grandmother. “Then that leaves you, Nana, and Dr. Reynolds.”
Rachel’s mom took Kevin’s hand and peered at him. “We’ve ordered a big cake. We’ll pick it up right before we come.”
“Thanks, you all. I think the people at the nursing home will enjoy this.”
“Bertha said everyone was excited about us coming.” Granny grabbed Doug’s arm, and he helped her to her feet.
“See you tomorrow then,” Taylor said as Ashley came up to her.
“Mom will pick you up at twelve so we can go decorate the recreation room beforehand.”
“She’s done a good job,” Max whispered in Rachel’s ear.
His warm breath tickled her neck, and she shivered, a pleasant sensation spreading through her. “Yes, she has. She even called the director of the nursing home to set this up. I’m still amazed at all she’s done. In the past she’s been a follower, not a leader. This is new for her.” Had Max somehow influenced this change in Taylor? Had homeschooling and working on her reading helped Taylor to believe in herself?
“She mentioned to me why she chose to do this was because Bertha was a friend of Granny’s. She wanted to do something for her.”
“She went to my church until she got sick and had to go into a nursing home. Granny goes to visit Bertha at least once a week.” When she saw Taylor take Sam and Will and lead them out of the den, she added, “She’s even working with Sam and Will on Jingle Bells.”
Taylor stopped in the hallway, swung around and hurried back into the den. Pausing a few feet from Rachel, her daughter motioned to Max.
“Excuse me a sec.”
Max’s large frame, his back to Rachel, blocked her view of Taylor. They were up to something. After getting off the phone with the nursing home the day before, Taylor kept watching for Max to come home from work, and then when he did, she disappeared across the street for half an hour with a list in her hand.
The feeling she was suddenly being left out of her daughter’s life flooded her. Would this be what happened if Max was Taylor’s natural father and told Taylor who he was? Her daughter was growing up and would soon have her own life, but she wasn’t ready to let her go.
“Are you all right, Rachel?” Jordan approached and took her over to the side away from everyone.
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you see Max with Taylor and you realize he’s becoming important to your daughter.”
“Am I that obvious?”
“Only because I know what’s going on. I’m sure Mom and Granny don’t know a thing. You know they’re rooting for you to get together with Max?”
“Yeah, Granny hasn’t been too subtle about trying to match me with Max. The other evening she caught me leaving Max’s house and asked us to deliver her goodies she baked for the neighbors because she wasn’t up to the walk. When Max agreed, she practically danced a jig.”
“Back up a sec. You leaving his house? What were you doing there?”
“Returning some reading material Taylor borrowed on the environment.” She even took some time to admire the small Christmas tree that Max had put up with brand-new ornaments just out of the box.
“Why didn’t she?”
“She was on the phone about the program at the nursing home and asked me.” The memory of walking with Max up and down the street, the air laced with the scent of wood burning, the night sky clear with a few stars out, the crispness adding to the atmosphere, pulled her gaze away from her sister and toward Max. The intent look on his face as he talked with Taylor was suddenly switched to her. Her breath caught in her throat, and she had to force deep inhalations into her lungs to keep from getting lightheaded.
“I think you two were had not only by Granny but Taylor, too. Frankly, I don’t know why they are wasting their time. It’s clear to anyone who is around you all that you don’t need any nudging.”
“He’s a friend.”
One of Jordan’s eyebrows rose. “Is that what he is to you? What happens if he’s Taylor’s biological father? What are you gonna do then?”
Rachel chewed on her bottom lip. “I don’t know. He has implied several times he doesn’t want to get married.”
The corners of Jordan’s mouth twitched. “Marriage? I didn’t say anything about marriage, but it’s obvious you’ve been thinking about it.”
“Because that’s the only way I could be with a man and I couldn’t marry without loving him and him loving me.”
“Not even for Taylor?”
“No, because in five or six years she’ll be gone, then what will I have?”
“Jordan, we need to get home to bake the cookies,” Zachary said at the doorway.
“Okay, just a sec.” Her sister shifted her attention back to Rachel. “I’ll pray for you, Max and Taylor.” She hugged Rachel. “The Lord knows what He’s doing.”
“I hope so because I’m beginning to think I don’t.” I love a man who doesn’t want to get married. And if all of sudden he did, what would be his real motive?
“We’ll find our own way out. See you tomorrow.” Jordan left with her husband, Nicholas and Ashley.
Before long Granny, Doug, her mother and Kevin were gone. Taylor hurried from the room, too. Max faced her. The quiet was in stark contrast to the chatter of only moments before. The warmth from all those bodies in the den evaporated and left Rachel chilled. She folded her arms across her chest.
He finally broke the silence with, “Only a few days to Christmas.”
“What were you and Taylor talking about?”
“Tomorrow.”
“What?”
He grinned, laugh lines at the corners of his eyes deepening. “It’s a secret. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out.”
“Why?”
“Because I promised Taylor I wouldn’t say anything. It’s something she wanted to do and I told her I would help her with it.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. She frowned.
His smile vanished. “It has nothing to do with why I’m here. Trust me, Rachel. I won’t undermine you. I need to go home. Good night.”
Before she could move forward, Max strode out into the hallway. She rushed to catch him. “Wait, Max.”
At the front door, his hand on the knob, he stopped, but he kept his back to her.
“I know you wouldn’t, Max. I’m sorry if that’s what you thought. I’m not big on surprises, especially lately.”
He peered over his shoulder at her. “This surprise is a good thing. I promise you.”
“Fine. Not another word about it.”
Sounds came from the kitchen. Will, Sam and Taylor sang Jingle Bells, the boys shouting more than singing.
Rachel looked back toward the doorway into the kitchen, then stepped to Max and stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on his cheek. “I hope the people at the nursing home are ready for this. See you tomorrow.”
For a second, a bewildered expression widened his eyes slightly before his features settled into a neutral countenance. He nodded. “Tomorrow.”
The weakness in her legs forced Rachel to hold on to the door frame as she watched him walk away. Why had she kissed him? What had she been thinking? She hadn’t. All she’d thought about was that she didn’t want him to leave upset.
Lord, I know You have this all figured out. Could You please clue me in? I feel so confused.
In the recreation room at the nursing home, Rachel bit on the end of her thumbnail. Near her, an old man in his eighties grumbled to the woman next to him about having to wait. Everyone was here except Max. Where was he? Taylor refused to start until he arrived
. Did this have anything to do with the surprise he and her daughter had cooked up?
A commotion at the door drew her attention. In walked Max, dressed in a Santa suit carrying a bag over his shoulder.
“Ho! Ho! Ho!”
Will and Sam squealed and clapped, then rushed toward Max. He stooped down to talk to both of them, dug around in his bag and pulled out two wrapped presents for them. Her sons tore into the gifts, paper tossed to the floor. Their eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when they saw the semitrucks.
“Thanks, Santa.” Sam hugged the toy to his chest.
“Yeah,” Will added.
Taylor stepped toward Max. “I’m so glad you could come, Santa. We have some special guests here.” She gestured toward the twenty-five senior citizens sitting around in a half circle, some in wheelchairs.
“Ho. Ho. Ho. So I see, and I’ve got some special presents for them.”
Several of the seniors perked up and sat straighter. The eighty-year-old man continued to grumble under his breath he was too old for a visit from Santa. The woman next to him told him to hush up. The man snapped his mouth closed and glared at a spot on the floor by his feet. Rachel clamped her lips together to keep from smiling at the exchange.
Max ambled toward the front of the room. “What do you all want first? Presents or caroling?”
Everyone but the grumpy old man shouted, “Presents.”
“Well, let me see what I have in here.” Max rummaged in his bag and withdrew one. “This says Bertha on it.”
“Me.” Granny’s friend raised her arm, waving.
Max approached her and made a big production out of giving her the gift, then went back to his bag for the next one. As people opened their surprises, Max passed out all the presents. A few gasps and ahs filled the room. Rachel panned the faces of the seniors and marveled at the joy in their expressions.
She sidled toward her daughter. “Did you have anything to do with this?”
Taylor beamed. “Yes. The director told me quite a few of the seniors won’t have much for Christmas. I wanted to do something for them. I found out what they needed or wanted and tried to get it.”
“You should have said something to me. I’d have helped.”
“I didn’t need to. You had the care packages for those families. I happened to say something to Max and he loved the idea. He wanted to help me.”
What her daughter did was wonderful, but a seed of jealousy planted itself in Rachel’s heart. She felt as if Max was moving in on her territory, and she didn’t like that she was upset by it. “How did you buy all this?”
“I used the money I was saving for an iPod, and Max helped with the rest. He, Nana and me went to the store and got everything.”
“That evening you went to Mom’s?”
Taylor nodded, pleased with herself. “I wanted it to be a surprise, and I really don’t want people to know that I did it. Those gifts are from Santa if anyone asked.”
Suddenly her daughter sounded older than she was as though she’d grown up overnight. “What you did was great, honey. All you have to do is look at their faces to see the happiness you’ve brought to them.”
“That’s my gift. It was so much fun buying for them. Now I see why you like doing those care boxes every year.”
As Taylor moved toward the front of the room, Rachel swung her attention to Max. A room separated them, but the other people for a moment faded from her consciousness as she stared at him. His smile encompassed his whole face from the gleam in his gaze to the deep crinkles at the sides of his eyes to the dimples that appeared in his cheeks. Joy infused her whole being.
This man was good for her daughter whether he was Taylor’s natural father or not. In that moment, she knew what she would do when they got the results from the DNA testing. She wouldn’t stand in his way of becoming part of Taylor’s life even though being around him constantly would be difficult for her because she loved him and wanted more than what he was willing to offer.
“Taylor wants to take our caroling on the road.” Rachel sat on the porch swing later that evening, cupping a mug of hot chocolate that Max had fixed from scratch in her hands.
“I know. She mentioned it earlier. I told her I draw the line at wearing a Santa suit again. It was hot. Did you see the sweat pop out on my forehead?” The stream of light from the living room illuminated Max’s teasing expression.
“I have a feeling if Taylor asked you to again you would. I think you’re putty in her hands.”
“Shh. Don’t say that too loud. Am I that obvious?”
“Yep.” Rachel sipped her drink, remembering the time and care Max had taken in preparing the hot chocolate just right. Although it was near freezing, Max’s nearness created a warmth in her that went all the way to her toes.
“I can’t believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I’m not working on Christmas Eve or Christmas. I have for so many years I’m not sure what to do with the time.”
“You’re coming to my house for dinner with the whole family. After that you might need to recover. It’s an experience, possibly not worth repeating, to be around two four-year-olds at Christmas.”
“Should I bring anything?”
“Only a secret Santa gift.”
“Secret Santa?” He took a sip of his hot chocolate, relaxing back, his arm brushing up against hers.
“It’s a game we play every year. We each make a present, then on Christmas all draw numbers. The person with number one will choose a present first. If there’s a gift you like that someone else already has opened, you can take it away from that person if it’s your turn. Some people will. Some won’t. It can get pretty ruthless but always in a fun way.”
“I have to make a present! When were you going to tell me?”
“I’m sorry. I forgot with all that’s been going on this month.”
“And I can’t go out and buy anything?” Panic laced his voice.
She shook her head.
“You did this on purpose,” he said in a mockingly stern tone. “You’ve probably had your gift done ages ago.”
“Yep. I don’t like to wait until the last minute.”
“And you think I do?”
“Tell you what. I’ve got something I can give you to use.”
He thrust his shoulders back. “Nope. I’ll come up with something.” He swallowed the last of his drink and rose. “Which means I need to go and start working on what I’m bringing.”
She didn’t want him to leave. “You can’t stay for a while? Taylor is spending the night at Ashley’s. The boys are in bed early for a change. I’m not going to know what to do with myself.”
“You finished your Christmas quilt?”
“Done.”
“You’ve wrapped all your presents?”
“Done.”
“Your Christmas cards?”
“Mailed two weeks ago.”
“And I know your house has been decorated for a month.”
“So, what should I do with this unexpected free time?” There was a part of her that was stunned she was being so bold, but since he had come into her life, she realized she had been lonely since Lawrence’s death. Max filled an empty place in her heart. She wished she did in his. That was the problem. His was closed off from others. He was scared to care too deeply for another. He’d seen so much of how precarious life was in his profession with trauma situations.
“I could build a fire and we could sit in front of it.”
Rachel inhaled a deep breath. The scent of others who’d done that spiced the air. “I don’t very often anymore. That would be nice.” She’d stopped doing it when Lawrence died. He’d always been the one who’d wanted a fire going. She needed to build new memories.
Max rose and held out his hand to her. She took it, and he tugged her up against him. Tilting her face up to his, she ran her finger along his jawline, the stubble from a day’s growth of beard rough beneath her pad.
A shadow of pain inched into his features. He c
aptured her hand and stilled its movement. “What are we doing?”
“We’re going to sit in front of a fire and talk.”
“No, this. I don’t want us to be just friends. Right this moment I want to kiss you. I want to hold you against me. I want to…” He drew in a ragged breath. “This probably isn’t smart until we know what’s up about Taylor. I won’t walk away from my daughter. I didn’t have a choice thirteen years ago, but as far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a choice now. She is my flesh and blood. A part of me.”
“In the end, what’s best for Taylor is the most important thing to be considered.”
“And what is that?”
A dash of cold reality struck her in the face. Rachel backed away, her arms falling to her sides. “I don’t know. I’m not even sure Taylor knows what is best for her. Your arrival has complicated everything.” Made her come out of her comfort zone and acknowledge she needed more than she had.
He stiffened. “So, what you see in me is a complication?”
“I care about you, but to take that any further is a complication.”
“I failed at my first marriage and look what happened. Taylor is with you.”
“I haven’t said anything about marriage, and Taylor being with me isn’t a bad thing.”
“You’re twisting my words around.” His words were grounded out between clenched teeth.
“Am I? I know what a good marriage is, and I won’t settle for anything less than that if I ever decide to marry again.”
“And you shouldn’t settle for less.”
“You have a lot to offer a woman, but because of Alicia, who you can’t seem to forgive, you don’t see that. You can decide to either dwell in the past or live in the present. That’s your choice. I choose the here and now. I hope my daughter does, too.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“If the DNA results come back that Taylor is your child, I’ll acknowledge what happened to you was a bad deal, but I can’t change that and neither can you. I won’t let you take Taylor away from me.” Rachel sprayed her hand over her heart. “She’s my daughter in here, no matter what a test says. My lawyer says I have a good case, and you probably wouldn’t get custody, not even partial.”
A Daughter for Christmas Page 15