“Hey there, lover!” she says with a giggle. “When do I get a ring and proposed to on stage?”
An unsettling laugh I make. “So, you’ve seen the paper.”
“I have and man, that kiss looks hot. Don’t you agree? I should make my way to your hotel room and try that out again.” Her words end in laughter, but I’m not sure she’s joking.
“About that, Gina, I’m sorry. I hope that doesn’t get you in trouble with the latest boy-toy.”
“I’m free at the moment,” she says. “Unless you want to make that story real that is. I’ve missed you, Kip. That was a lot of fun what we did last night.”
“Is that why you showed up unannounced?” I ask. “Because you miss me?” My body is tense and my mind races with all the reasons why I should take Gina up on her offer, but my heart still belongs to Peyton.
“We were good together and since we’re both in the same industry, we could help each other out. You know, make some beautiful music together, both in and out of the studio.”
“So, you want to make some music together and possibly go on next year’s tour with us?” I ask.
Her voice goes shrill as she squeals, “Kippy! Would that be something you’d like? I’d love it!”
I bet she would! She hasn’t had a hit in three years!
“I guess you should know I’m not sure if I’m signing back on with my manager. I’m not sure I want to keep doing this kind of music. I’d really like to make my own stuff, give that a shot.” I pause and wait for her groan.
She does not disappoint as she groans loudly then says, “Kip, that’s such a bad idea. I mean, you rock man. Why not keep that going?”
Because it leaves me empty!
“My life has been run by other people since I can remember. I’d like to try running it myself and see where that takes me. So, I won’t be taking you up on either of your offers, Gina. Thanks for thinking of me though. It’s flattering.”
“You still have it for Plain Jane don’t you?” she asks with a monochromatic tone.
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t refer to her like that. Peyton is a sweet and wonderful woman who took my heart. I let her down, right when she needed me the most. That’s the reason I want to get in control of my life. It’s likely she’ll never trust me to be in hers again. But someday I’ll find another, I hope, and for her I want to be settled, not living a life that runs me.”
“You don’t see me in that role?”
Gina is tall and blonde, gorgeous in every aspect, save one. She’s a user and always has been. All she really wants is to use me to get her somewhere in this business she’s been unable to get to on her own.
“I could lie to you and tell you maybe, but the truth is no. You and I don’t mesh well if you’ll recall.”
“Only because you refused to take me on the road with you. Even as a person who sells your damn T-shirts.”
“Yeah, so why do you think that was, Gina?”
“Because you are an ass.”
And on to the name-calling!
“Okay, it was all me and not you one bit. I’ll take the blame. Anyway, nice talking to you, sorry about the photo in the paper, though I doubt you are. It seems to me you may have had someone ready to take the damn picture. Manipulating always was your game, Gina. Sorry it’s not going to work out for you this time. Bye.” I end the call and toss the phone on the bed.
Just another reason why I want out of the spotlight. If it’s not your manager lining up your days and nights, then it’s another performer wanting to ride on your shirt-tails.
Thank God there’s only the show in L.A. left then I’m free!
Now to decide for sure if I stay free or sign back up for another year of this before I try it on my own. It may seem like the answer is clear, but I’ve never tried anything on my own and failure seems terribly daunting.
Peyton
The line to get my, and the other eight new authors’, books signed goes out the door of the bookstore and around the corner. Seattle is such a wet city, they sell more books here than just about anywhere else. It seems with this tour I may become a real author. Make a real living out of this thing.
I shudder with a chill as I think about the future. How nice it would be if I can really make this work. How much easier it would make my life if I could work from home. Especially now.
One of the men standing in line pulls a newspaper from under his arm and opens it up to read while he waits. A teenage girl drops her copy of my book in front of me. “So, is the guy real?”
“In my head, he is,” I answer with a laugh. “What’s your name?”
“Abigail Sweeney,” she answers. “I kept picturing him as I read. You described him so well, it was like he was a real person. Is that your story?”
I look at her and smile. “I’m not married and don’t have kids, so it’s not my story. It’s just a figment of my imagination is all it is. I have a very active one, hot guys run rampant through it. I hope you’ll be reading my next book.”
“I will,” she says and grins. “Wanna give me a hint of what it’s about?”
“Now, if I told you, I’d have to tell everyone. Thanks for coming, it was really nice to meet you. Abigail Sweeney.”
She turns with a bit of disappointment in her dark eyes. I watch her leave and see the front page of the newspaper the guy in line is holding up and my heart stops.
It’s Kip and some woman, kissing!
My stomach clenches and I have to get up and run to the bathroom. People ask if I’m okay, but there’s no time to answer. I’m about to lose my dinner.
Into the ladies' restroom I run and find an empty stall just in time as it all comes up. It’s been a while since I’ve thrown up. It was really bad at first, I threw up every day. Then it got all better, but seeing him like that got to me.
He sure moved on fast!
Cool water I run over a paper towel and hold to my forehead. A lump forms in my throat as I look at my refection. That girl was so much prettier than I am. Her body was fit and thin. She was perfect. I suppose he deserves someone like that.
Another one of the new authors comes in. She’s a woman in her forties and motherly. “Are you okay, Peyton?”
“Now I am. Just had to puke for some reason,” I say as I toss the towel in the trash.
A motherly pat she gives my back and walks me back out into the bookstore. “Are you nervous?”
“Not anymore,” I say as I take my seat again. “Thanks for your concern, Mrs. Simpson.”
The hours pass quickly as the line of people thins out, and the end is near. Our tour bus pulls up front and we put the chairs away and go out to get on it and go to Los Angeles.
My stomach clenches again as I think about running into Kip and that woman on the streets of L.A. God, I’ll die if that happens.
I pull my jacket on and head out to the bus. All are on board and the driver pulls away. A sudden hard tap on the bus door makes him stop. He opens the door and the lady from the bookstore tells him something.
He looks back at me. “Peyton, she wants you for a second.”
With confusion I get up and go see what she could possibly want from me. As I step off the bus I catch a glimpse of someone standing at the side of the bus in a black hooded jacket.
I look at the woman. “What did you need?”
“This person asked to see you and begged me to stop the bus.”
I turn and ask, “Did you want me to sign your book?”
The person pulls my book out of the inside of their jacket and hands it to me. I look back at the lady. “I don’t have my pen with me.”
“I’ll get one, I’ll be right back,” she says as she dashes back into the book store.
“You just about missed me,” I say with a smile. The fact is though I’m beginning to get creeped out as the man or woman hasn’t seen fit to pull the hood back or speak. I can’t see the person at all. “What’s your name? You know so I can write it in the book.”
I look at the person again. “Okay, you don’t have to tell me your name. I’ll just sign it. I guess you’re shy, I get it. Thanks for coming all the way down here to see me. I hope you enjoy the book and become a fan. You can’t ever have too many of those.” I sign the inside cover and hand it back.
I focus on the person’s hand. It looks like a man’s hand. I look back at the lady as she says, “There you go, sir. I hope you have a wonderful day.”
“Thank you, sir,” I add and try my hardest to see him under the dark hood. “Have a great evening.”
I turn to go back onto the bus and feel a chill run through me. I glance back to see him still standing there. I bite my lip and want to grab the hood and pull it back, but that’s too crazy and the bus driver coughs, making me turn my attention back to him.
I climb on board and take a seat by the window so I can see him. Perhaps he’ll drop his hood as we leave. He steps up on the curb and turns his back to the bus and walks slowly down the wet sidewalk. His head shakes slowly.
Kip
My head is spinning as I walk away from her. I cannot believe it. I wanted to talk to her so badly and when I saw her I completely froze.
How could she not have told me?
I wonder if she deleted my number like I did hers. Maybe that’s why she’s left me out of this. Left me in the dark about everything.
Thank God I know she’ll be in Los Angeles tonight and tomorrow. I know where to find her there. Now I just have to decide what I’m going to do about this.
Can I get her to forgive me and take me back? Can I get over my fear of needing her too damn much and make it work with her? Should I leave her alone?
She’s done fine on her own so far. Seeing her again reminded me of the all-encompassing need I have for her. The thought that’s its unhealthy seems to be fading to the back of my mind rather than the front where it usually resides.
She may not need me now, but she will. I should be with her, not pretending she doesn’t exist. She doesn’t deserve this.
I take my cell out and call Silas. “Hi Kip, what can I do for you today?”
“Peyton is on a book tour. I’m going to send you a link to the website. They’re going to L.A. and I want you to do your best to find out where they’ll be staying tonight. I have tonight and tomorrow before it ends and I’ll lose track of her then. I can’t let that happen.”
“Kip, man. You hurt her bad. You have to know that. She most likely doesn’t want to talk to you. Showing up at her hotel room could end badly. God knows you don’t want to show up at the book store either,” Silas says and he’s right.
“Find out anyway. Whether she wants to talk to me or not is beside the point. She has to now.” I hang up and keep walking.
My head pounds and my heart aches.
How could she do this to me?
Peyton
I can’t shake the feeling of unease the thing with the hooded man gave me. We’re coming into Los Angeles now and the night lights are bright, the highway is still pretty busy.
I’m sure our motel will be equally as crappy as the rest have been, so getting off the somewhat comfortable bus is not a thing I’m excited about doing. My mind wanders as I look at each exit sign. Which one leads to Kip’s home?
My stomach growls as it’s been hours since I’ve eaten and what I did eat at dinner, I lost. I hope there’s someplace that delivers, and not anymore damn pizza. Lord, I’m tired of pizza. That seems to be all any restaurant will deliver.
I want steak and a potato and a large salad. A monster glass of iced sweet tea and some pecan pie.
I can’t wait to get back home to Texas!
The tour has been long, and it’s just been a little over a month. I don’t know how Kip and his band can do a year-long one. Granted they stay in much better accommodations than we have, but still.
My agent said I only had to do this one tour and she’ll never make me do it again. My situation will make that too difficult anyway. I won’t be able to leave home for extended periods of time.
The driver takes an exit and before I know it, we pull into another dump and he lets us out. As we file out of the bus I get another chill.
I hope I’m not getting a cold!
The night clerk greets us as we go inside the little office. “Hello, how’s everyone this evening?”
We all mumble that we’re fine, though all of us are tired and just want to sleep. Well not me, I want to eat and then sleep. One at a time she hands us the key to our room. I step up to get the key and she smiles at me. “Miss Reed.”
I nod. “That’s me.” I hold my hand out for the key.
She places it in my hand and has a shit-eating grin on her face. “You are in room thirteen. Someone has sent you some things, and I placed them in there for you.”
“Must be my parents. I know they’re happy this is the last stop on this tour. Home tomorrow. Yeah!” I throw my hands up in the air and do a little dance as I walk away.
It’s chilly as I walk back outside and I pull my jacket tight around me. I open the dingy door and turn the light on. My mouth drops open and my heart stops as I see what was sent to me and delivered to my motel room.
What the hell does this mean?
Kip
I ditched the band and the bus and rented a car so I could get to Los Angeles sooner than the bus could get me here. Silas found out where Peyton would be staying and I sent a few things to let her know that I’m not only thinking about her, but will soon be there to see her.
I wonder if she’s excited!
My heart has been on full speed since I saw her. I was admittedly in shock at first, but that seems to have worn off and pure joy is all I feel now. I hope she doesn’t squash that for me.
I called Max and told him the news and he gave me some pointers on how to come at her. The engagement ring is in my pocket. I want to make everything right.
I had to put the fear of rejection behind me. The fear of us being too dependent on each other is ludicrous now. Her need for me should override whatever she feels about me and what I did to her.
As I pull into the tiny motel parking lot, I’m appalled that she’s staying in this rat trap. If she’ll come with me, I’ll take her to my place tonight. This is not a place I want her to be.
I pull up in the parking spot in front of room number thirteen and find I’m shaking. My stomach is in knots and my hands are even sweeting.
Shit! I have to regain my composure and present myself as a stable person, not a nervous idiot!
With a quick slap to my cheek, I try to bring my head back into what it is I have to do and how I have to take charge to get it done. Peyton has been known to be on the stubborn side and I can’t let her get into that place about me.
A hard knock I make as there are no lights on and she may well be asleep. I can’t wait until tomorrow though. I can’t take the chance I’ll have to go all the way back to Texas to find her stubborn ass.
A light comes on inside and my heart pounds so hard I can’t hear anything. The door opens and there she stands in an over-sized pink T-shirt. She rubs her sleepy eyes. “Kip…”
I pick her up and walk inside with her, kicking the door shut behind me. The small room is filled with the red roses I sent. “I’ve missed you, Peyton.”
My lips touch hers and she pushes against my chest. “Stop! Let me down!”
I do as she says as I don’t want her to get upset with me so quickly. “Sorry, baby. I really am, it’s just that I can’t help it.”
She sits on the bed and frowns. “You aren’t going to state the obvious? You aren’t going to yell at me?”
“I saw you earlier today. It was me at the book store. So I already know and have taken that in. For whatever reason, you chose not to get in touch with me and tell me, I don’t care. I’m just happy, Peyton. I’m so damn happy, you have no idea.” I sit next to her and tak
e her hand though I ache to do more.
She gives me a smirk. “It was you in the black hoodie.”
I nod. “I wanted to say something to you. It was my plan to, but when I saw you walk out of the book store, I nearly fainted I was so surprised. Then I asked the lady to stop the bus and get you. Again, I meant to talk to you, but my words stuck in my throat. I’m sorry, love.”
“You’re going to be mad when I tell you that I have your number in my phone, I just never wanted to call you and tell you. I was hoping you would miss me and call me, but you never did,” she says and gets up and grabs a bottle of water.
“I deleted your number so I wouldn’t get tempted. I felt you were much better off without me.” I get up and try to wrap my arms around her, but she walks away from me.
“So if I was better off without you then, how is it any different now?” she asks as she sits back down on the bed and I look at the blanket and realize this place is nasty and dirty.
“Pack your things, you’re coming to my place. I can’t allow you to stay here,” I say as I look around for her bag.
“I’m not going with you. I’ve been staying in these kinds of motels for the last month, it’s not hurt me so far. One more night won’t kill me.” She takes a long drink of her water.
“I need you to, Peyton. You and I need to put our idiotic thinking behind us now. There are no if, ands, or buts about it. I still love you,” I say then stop to see if those words affect her at all.
She looks at me only briefly then says, “Great. Glad to hear you still love me. But it was never enough to look back and decide you made a mistake by ending what we had. I still love you by the way. Not that it matters. You’re not a safe bet for me, Kip. You’ve proven that.”
“I am a safe bet.” I pull the ring from my pocket and get on one knee in front of her.
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