by Penny Jordan
Now was obviously not the time to intrude, and she was just walking away when Rafael, the major-domo of the household, appeared.
'I was hoping to have a word with the Conde,' Jessica explained in response to his unspoken question, 'but…'
'I shall inform him when he is free,' Rafael assured her. 'Perhaps you would care for a tray of tea? In the past our English guests have often asked for tea at this time.'
It was six o'clock and as Jessica knew from experience, it would be several hours before they dined. Spaniards dined late, so she thanked Rafael and told him that tea would indeed be most welcome.
It arrived twenty minutes later—a bone china tea service and a plate of delicate almond cakes. Until she saw them Jessica hadn't realised how hungry she felt. She had just finished her second cup of tea when someone knocked briskly on the door. She knew without opening it, with some instinctive sixth sense, that it was Sebastian.
He looked preoccupied and bleakly angry, and her heart sank. Now was obviously not the time to discuss her ideas with him.
'Now,' he said, when he had closed the door with a precision that sent shivers of alarm feathering along her spine, 'perhaps you will be good enough to explain why you did not tell me the truth about your cousin?'
He was leaning against the door, arms folded across his chest, unconsciously straining the fabric, his eyes glinting metallic grey as they waited for her response.
'I've already told you,' Jessica said tightly. She had forgotten the implicit threat she had seen in his eyes when Jorge unwittingly revealed the truth, in the shock of listening to Pilar's disclosures.
'I wanted to protect Isabel…'
'Protect her, or her engagement?' he asked with devastating insight. 'Jorge has told me of this John—apparently she was contemplating becoming engaged to him when she met Jorge.'
'Jorge was simply a holiday romance,' Jessica told her firmly. 'Isabel is silly but not venal. I can assure you she had no mercenary interest in Jorge.'
'No? Then why did she threaten him with this child she says she conceived?'
'A mistake,' Jessica told him. 'Surely you can appreciate her position? She came back from holiday, and then discovered that she might be carrying Jorge's child, or so she thought, so she panicked…'
'And tried to force him into marrying her,' Sebastian concluded distastefully. 'And this is the innocent child you wished to protect? No, I cannot accept it.'
She wasn't going to tell him how Isabel had lied to her, Jessica decided angrily, her chin tilting defiantly as she stared up at him.
'It doesn't matter to me whether you do or not,' she told him unsteadily. 'All I want to do now is to put the entire incident behind me.'
It wasn't completely true—certain aspects of it would remain to haunt her always, and she was very much afraid that what she felt for Sebastian came dangerously close to love. Quite how or why it should have happened she didn't know, but these last few days had underlined, time and time again, that she was far from indifferent to him. She only had to register the way her pulses raced whenever he walked in a room to be aware of that! And yet he was the complete antithesis of all she admired in men. Arrogant, domineering and apparently incapable of facing up to his responsibilities.
'Easier said than done.' He frowned, unfolding his arms, and moved silently to the window. 'As Jorge has just been at considerable pains to point out to me, my aunt, and no doubt by this time, her cronies, all believe you to be my mistress.'
He seemed to be waiting for some response, and Jessica refused to acknowledge the hurting shaft of pain his indifference occasioned.
'We know differently,' she told him. 'And besides, the opinion of half a dozen or so people I've never set eyes on before and am not likely to see again doesn't trouble me.'
'I'm sure it doesn't,' Sebastian agreed grittily, 'but unfortunately, I do have to see them again and it does concern me, as everything touching upon the good name of our family must.'
It was on the tip of Jessica's tongue to tell him that this was something he should have thought of before, but instead she said unsteadily, 'Yes, I see that having a reputation such as yours must be a great burden to so proud a man.'
Instantly she realised she had gone too far Fingers like talons gripped her wrist.
'Just what do you mean by that?' he demanded softly.
'I think you know,' Jessica managed bravely. 'There's Lisa, and people are not blind…'
'Ah, someone has told you about Manuela,' he said comprehensively, his mouth twisting in a cynically bitter smile. 'And of course you are quite right. There is endless gossip about Lisa, and her parenthood, and because of that I have to be extremely circumspect—for her sake as much as my own.'
'I can't see why you don't tell her the truth,' Jessica told him huskily. 'It's cruel not to do. She's bound to find out.'
'You are very concerned on her behalf.' Again the mockingly cynical smile.
'Because I happen to like her; and because also I know what it's like to lose both parents, and nothing, but nothing compensates for that loss. Any parent is better than none at all,' she told him fiercely, 'and you're depriving her of the right to that relationship.'
'Enough!' With a ferocity that jerked the breath from her lungs she was dragged towards him. 'I will not listen to any more. You will be silent!'
'How will you make me?' Jessica demanded breathlessly. 'By flinging me in your dungeons?'
'Oh no.' The soft way he spoke, and the insolently appraising look that accompanied the words, sent nervous tremors of warning chasing down her spine. 'Like this!'
He moved so suddenly that she couldn't evade him, hard fingers tangling in her hair and tugging painfully until she thought her spine would crack under the pressure. His eyes searched her vulnerable, exposed features in silence, while hers spat the defiance she now dared not voice.
'It is too late for obedience now,' he told her silkily. 'You must take your punishment.'
His mouth on hers was brutally chastising, his fingers hurting as they bit into her waist, a savage anger that she had not seen before burning in the pressure of his mouth against hers.
She felt frozen and completely unable to feel, her eyes glazing as she tried not to mind that he was humiliating her like this, turning what should be a sensually exciting experience into a deeply humiliating one.
As though he sensed that somehow she had escaped his vengeance, the pressure of his mouth suddenly softened and then shockingly his lips left hers, his tongue slowly tracing their quivering outline, until she ached and yearned for the feel of his mouth. The anger had gone from his eyes, to be replaced by a slumbrous heat.
Her body seemed to melt against him entirely without her consent, her eyes closing as he feathered light kisses over the trembling lids.
'Por Dios,' he muttered hoarsely against her ear, 'there is a chemistry between us that refuses to be denied!'
Jessica knew she should make some protest, tell him to release her, but his fingers were stroking soothingly along her scalp, his mouth investigating the exposed vulnerability of her throat, releasing a fluttering fever of sensations that made her long only to cling to the breadth of his shoulders, and offer herself up to whatever he wanted from her.
Not even the heat of his fingers scorching the curves of her breasts had the power to alarm her. Instead she felt an elemental response to the caress, coupled with a primitive need to feel his touch against her skin without the constricting barrier of clothes. As though somehow her thoughts communicated themselves to him, Jessica heard him groan and saw with surprise the dark flush mantling his skin and the heated glitter of his gaze.
She made no attempt to stop him when he unbuttoned her blouse and slid it from her shoulders. Her lacy bra emphasised rather than concealed the curves of her breasts and her pulses seemed to quicken in elemental excitement as Sebastian's dark gaze lingered on the pale almost translucent skin.
'How much more attractive is this than the over-exposed bronzed bodies that litter
our beaches! This,' he added emotively, stroking a finger over the pale flesh, 'is an enticement to man to touch and taste. The very paleness of your skin hints at a chastity that arouses the hunter in man, no matter how false that impression might be.'
Jessica gasped as he released the catch of her bra, exposing her breasts fully to his gaze. She knew she should feel shame; yet what she did feel was a tremulous, aching excitement; a need to have him touch her. As though he guessed her thoughts his hands cupped her breasts, her nipples hardening devastatingly at his touch. The stroke of his thumbs over the sensitised and
III
aroused flesh incited a need to writhe and press herself close to his body, the husky moan torn from her throat shocking her with it sensuality.
'Dios, I despise myself for it, but right now I want nothing as much as I want to take you to bed, to feel your silkiness against my skin, like a soothing balm to overheated flesh. I want to lose myself in your softness… I… What is it about you that makes me forget what you are?' Sebastian muttered huskily, lifting her in his arms, his eyes moving from her face to the rosy peaks of her breasts and then back again.
She shouldn't be letting him do this, Jessica thought distractedly, but every nerve centre in her body was screaming for the satisfaction she knew only he could give. She felt the bed give under their combined weight, and all her muscles tightened in stunned protest as his mouth moved hungrily over the curve of one breast, the rough stroke of his tongue against the aching nipple causing her stomach muscles to lock in mute protest at the waves of pleasure crashing down on her, teaching her more about sensuality and her own body's response to it in two minutes than she had learned in twenty-odd years.
'Dios, I want you!'
He was only echoing her own thoughts, her own need. She had never felt this overpowering desire to know a man's possession before, and it shocked her that she should now. But then she had never loved a man as she loved Sebastian.
Loved! With sickening certainty she knew that it was too late to banish the treacherous and insidious truth. She did love him.
'Jessica?'
He was watching her, studying the flushed contours of her face, the arousal she felt sure must be there. She longed to touch him as intimately as he was touching her, and she reached out tentatively towards him, her fingers trembling as they encountered the rigidity of his collarbone.
'Dios, I have hungered for your touch against my skin,' he told her huskily, burying his mouth in the curve of her shoulder, 'almost from the very first. It is true, is it not, that there was a vital chemistry between us—a desire that neither of us can deny.'
Jessica wanted to say that it was not purely desire that motivated her, but Sebastian was wrenching open his shirt and her eyes were drawn to the naked virility of his body. Without the trappings of civilisation, the expensive suit and the silk shirt, his body was totally male, tautly muscled, his chest shadowed with dark body hair that tapered towards his waist. 'Dios, Sebastian, what is the meaning of this!' They were so engrossed in one another that neither of them had heard the door open. Jessica's shocked eyes saw his aunt's disturbed face and behind her Pilar's glitteringly triumphant one.
'I told you you were wrong,' Pilar said triumphantly. 'I told you they were lovers!'
Sebastian was shielding Jessica with his body, but that didn't stop the shame coursing through her, burning into her soul as she realised how they must appear to their onlookers.
'Sebastian!' his aunt's 'voice was deeply reproachful. 'I am wounded beyond words that you would use your home as…'
'That is enough.' Quietly and calmly Sebastian silenced both women. 'If you will wait in the sitting room, there is something I must say to you both.'
He waited until they had gone and then quickly stood up, his back to Jessica.
'My apologies for that,' he told her curtly. 'I never imagined that…'
That what? Jessica wondered. That he would allow his desire to overrule his dislike of her as a person?
'I must speak with my aunt.'
He was gone, closing the door behind him, leaving Jessica to bitterly regret giving in to the wild clamouring tide of desire he had aroused in her. How on earth could she face his aunt or Pilar again? She felt humiliated beyond bearing that they should have witnessed such intimacies. She had wanted to give herself in love, but somehow their interruption had reduced her to the status of a kept plaything, whose only role was to satisfy the needs of her master who might enjoy her body while openly despising her mind.
'Jessica, could you give us a moment?' The quiet voice suggested that if she didn't he would come in and get her.
What was he going to say to her? she wondered nervously, checking in the mirror that she was properly dressed, before screwing up her courage and walking nervously into the other room.
From Sebastian's aunt she received a kind if somewhat sorrowful look. From Pilar she received one of blazing hatred.
'You cannot mean this, Sebastian,' she was saying as Jessica walked into the room. 'It is total folly!'
'That is something only I can decide,' Sebastian replied with iron inflexibility. 'I have just told my aunt and Pilar that we are to be married,' he told Jessica coolly, his eyes warning her against saying anything to contradict his statement. 'As Pilar and Jorge have pointed out to me, I have already been responsible for the destruction of one girl's good name. I will not have the Calvadores name dragged in the mud a second time.'
'But, Sebastian, to go to these lengths!' Pilar protested, glaring at Jessica. 'It is not necessary. You have only to send the girl away. Nothing will be said.'
'No, Sebastian is right,' his aunt interrupted firmly. 'You must not try to dissuade him, Pilar. Jessica, I am pleased to welcome you to our family.' She walked across to Jessica, grasping her hands, kissing her gently on either cheek. 'Come Pilar, it is time we left. Sebastian, if you will tell me what arrangements I am to make…'
'If he does intend to marry her he will want it done as quietly and quickly as possible,' Pilar said spitefully. 'He will not want another bride giving birth before he can get her to the altar!'
'Enough!'
Jessica quailed at the fury in Sebastian's voice, but Pilar seemed not to mind, merely shrugging insolently as she looked at Jessica. 'He may marry you,' she told her, 'but always you will know why. Can you live with that?'
She was right, Jessica thought as they left the room and Sebastian closed the door. Of course she could not marry him. And yet he had admitted that he desired her, surely from that something might grow? His family was one that for generations had endured arranged marriages, marriages with far less hope of success than theirs, and surely she had enough love for them both?
All these were wild and foolish thoughts, she admitted as Sebastian turned and she saw the bleak anger in his eyes.
'We don't really have to get married,' she faltered. 'I can leave…'
'And have everyone know that once again a Calvadores has betrayed his name?' he said bitterly. 'Never! I cannot believe that marriage to me will be so abhorrent to you. Sexually we are compatible,' he gave her a thin smile. 'At least we will not be bored in bed, and as for the rest,' he shrugged, 'I shall have my work, and please God eventually you will have our children.'
Why, when he said it like that, did it sound such a barren existence, so different from the one she had visualised?
'I should have listened to Jorge and not given into my need to feel the softness of your skin beneath my hands,' he added bitterly. 'We will be married just as quickly as it can be arranged, do you agree?'
Jessica wanted to say 'no'. She should say 'no', but it was a weak, hesitant 'yes' that finally left her lips, earning her a look of burning contempt.
'A wise decision. You will be the first Calvadores bride in nearly a thousand years of history who has not come to her marriage bed a virgin.'
'You once told me you would never marry a woman who had known other lovers,' Jessica reminded him with a dry throat, wonderin
g if now he would change his mind.
'Circumstances sometimes dictate a lowering of one's standards. If I do not marry you now, doubtless I will be accused of despoiling two innocent young women.' His mouth twisted bitterly. 'I cannot allow that to happen, for the sake of my aunt and brother, if not for myself.'
'It's rather a high price to pay for family pride, isn't it?' Jessica queried numbly. Never in her wildest imaginings had she ever imagined herself in a situation such as this.
'For some things no price is too high,' he told her sombrely, 'and when we celebrate the birth of our first son perhaps I will be able to tell myself that there is after all some virtue in our marriage.'
She would never allow a child of hers to be brought up thinking that his whole life must be given over to upholding the pride of the Calvadores name, Jessica decided fiercely. Her child would not be sad and lonely like Lisa. Her child…
With a shock she realised that already she was thinking about bearing Sebastian's child, and she knew then that she would marry him, no matter how much common sense warned her against it.
* * *
CHAPTER SEVEN
Three days later they were married in Seville. Sebastian had asked Jessica, with the same distant politeness he had adopted towards her ever since she had accepted his proposal, if there was anyone she wanted to invite to the ceremony.
She thought fleetingly of her aunt and uncle and Colin, and then regretfully shook her head. To invite them would lead to too many questions; too many doubts to add to those already crowding her mind. It would be far easier to simply tell them once it was over.
Over! She was viewing the thought of her marriage in much the same light as she would a trip to the dentist, and who was to blame? Ever since the afternoon she had agreed to marry Sebastian their marriage had been treated as though it were an unpleasant necessity: It was true that Lisa had greeted the news with unalloyed joy.
'I'm so glad you're going to marry Tio Sebastian,' she had confided Jessica only that morning. 'I would have hated it if he had married Pilar. She doesn't like me!'