by Penny Jordan
Her panicky protest was lost against his mouth, storming her defences, sending waves of heat pulsating through her body. Instantly everything was forgotten but the wild clamouring in her blood, the need for his possession which had been aching inside her ever since their wedding night, although never fully acknowledged.
'I want you,' Sebastian muttered thickly against her mouth, 'and when I take you, you will think only of me, not my brother, not anyone but me. It will be my name you cry out in the fiery midst of passion; my body that gives yours the ultimate sweet pleasure.'
A shaft of moonlight illuminated his face, drawn and shadowed, so that Jessica could almost deceive herself that it was pain she saw in his eyes. Was he thinking of Manuela when he spoke to her? A sharp stabbing pain shot through her, her small moan of protest igniting a ferocity within him that shocked and excited as he stripped her swiftly, his face a mask of concentration, his hands only stilling when he had removed everything but her minute briefs.
The knowledge that he wanted her trembled though her on an exultant wave, and slowly she reached towards him, unfastening the buttons of his shirt, sliding her hands across the breadth of his chest and feeling it lift and tense with the sudden urgency of his breathing. Her marauding fingers were trapped and held against his heart as it pounded into her palm, and a curious sensation of timelessness gripped her.
This time she felt no shyness at the sight of his naked body, rather a desire to touch and know it, but his smothered groan as her fingertips stroked lightly against his thigh warned her of the intensity of his need. His hands cupped her breasts, his mouth following the line of her throat and shoulders, before returning to fasten hungrily on hers. His body burned and trembled against her, sweat beading his forehead and dampening his skin.
On a swiftly rising spiral of excitement Jessica explored the maleness of his body, feeling the increasing urgency within him; the blind hunger that made him shudder under her touch, and she knew beyond any doubt that this time nothing would appease the ache inside her but the hard, demanding pressure she could feel building up inside him.
She wanted his possession of her body with a need that went beyond anything she had ever experienced. Her hips writhed and arched, and Sebastian groaned against her throat, holding her, shaping her until she was formless and malleable, her only purpose in life to fulfil the explosive ache that possessed her every conscious thought and action.
'Sebastian…' She moaned his name under his caressing hands, trying to communicate her need, but instead of fulfilling her, he stilled. She opened desire-drugged eyes and stared at him uncomprehendingly, a tiny protest leaving her lips.
'Sebastian, please!' Her fingers curled into the smooth muscles of his back, her mind still shying away from actually telling him how much she needed him, while her body ached wantonly for her to do so, no matter what the cost.
'You want me.'
It was a statement rather than a question, but something forced her to respond to it, her nervous, husky, 'Very much,' making his eyes darken until they were almost black, his breathing suddenly altered and uneven. 'Dios, Jessica,' he told her rawly, 'I want you, even though I know…'
She didn't want him to say more, to spoil what was between them with any words that might make her face up to the truth. Now lying in his arms, the full weight of his body pressed against hers, she could almost convince herself that he could love her, but if he spoke, if he said that word 'want' again when she wanted to hear him say 'love', it would burst her protective bubble, and that was something she didn't want. So in desperation she pressed her finger to his lips and then clasped her hands behind his neck drawing him down towards her, running her tongue softly over his lips, tracing the firm outline of them, until, suddenly, he muttered a husky protest, capturing her face with his hands and holding it still while his mouth moved hungrily over hers and the heated pressure of his thighs ignited a heat that spread swiftly through her body until it welcomed his shuddering thrust, rejoicing in the bittersweet mingling of pain and pleasure, knowing with some prescient knowledge that this time he was tempering his need so that she could share fully the pleasure of their entwined bodies. And then all thought was superseded as swiftly urgent pleasure contracted through her body and she was free-soaring into realms of delight she had never dreamed existed.
When she woke up she was alone; there was a dent in the pillow where Sebastian's head had lain, but no other traces of his presence. Jessica swung her legs out of the bed, surprised to discover how lethargic and weak she felt. She steadied herself as the room spun round, and faintness overwhelmed her. Just for a moment she wished Sebastian was there, to take her in his arms, and kiss her with the tenderness a man might reserve for the woman he had just made wholly his, if he loved her, but then she banished the thought. Perhaps last night would lead to other improvements in their marriage. Perhaps his desire for her might lead Sebastian to treat her with tenderness and affection.
She had forgotten that he had said he was going to Seville and was disappointed to get downstairs and find him gone. Jorge was at the breakfast table, trying to cheer up a tearful Lisa.
Jessica had started going with Tia Sofia when she discussed the day's menus and work plans with the staff. The hacienda was enormous, with so many valuable antiques and works of art that cleaning it had to be organised with almost military precision. Many of the staff had inherited their jobs from their mothers and fathers, and all were devoted to the family. Jessica had found that they treated her with respect and affection, and when she murmured to Sofia that she was sure she would never be able to cope as admirably as she did, the older woman had laughed.
'You will,' she had told her, 'and before very long as well. You have a natural flair with people.'
If she did, it didn't extend to include her husband, Jessica thought ruefully.
Lisa was so unhappy that Jessica spent a large part of the morning with her. Her part of the designing work was now almost complete until Sebastian came to a final decision. She had received a delighted letter from her aunt and uncle, full of exclamations and wishes that they had been able to attend her wedding.
'Isabel gets married in three months' time,' her aunt had written, 'and of course you must be there. She was going to ask you to be bridesmaid, but now it will have to be matron of honour. John's parents are holding the reception at their house— there's to be a marquee in the garden, and John's mother is a splendid organiser, so I won't have anything to worry about other than finding an outfit.' As she folded the letter Jessica sighed. Would Isabel be any happier than she was? She certainly hoped so.
In an effort to try and cheer Lisa up, she taught her to play Snap with an old pack of cards she had found, and although she played dutifully, her eyes kept straying to the door. How could Sebastian have been so cruel to her? Jessica fumed. His own child, even if he did refuse to acknowledge her. This cruel streak in a man who was so otherwise so strong was a weakness that caused her concern. His pride she could understand and even forgive, but his refusal to tell Lisa her true parentage was something that worried her.
'Will Tio Sebastian really send me away to a convent?' Lisa asked her at one point, her chin wobbling slightly.
'I'm sure he won't,' Jessica told her, trying to comfort her.
'But when you have babies, he won't want me,' Lisa appalled her by confiding. 'Pilar told me so.'
'Of course we'll still want you,' Jessica assured her, inwardly wondering how Pilar could be so deliberately malicious. 'What shall we do this afternoon?' she asked her, trying to redirect her thoughts. But Lisa refused to respond.
Jorge returned with the visitors from South America just after lunch. Senor Alvarez, Sebastian's godfather, turned out to be a genial, plump South American, who kissed both Jessica and Sofia enthusiastically, his eyes twinkling as he told Sofia that she didn't look a day older.
'Then you must need new glasses,' Sebastian's aunt told him practically, 'for it is over twenty years since we last met.'
/> 'I remember it as though it were yesterday,' he assured her. 'You were then a bride of six months, and how I envied my cousin! Just as I'm sure many men must envy Sebastian,' he added gallantly, turning to Jessica. 'Jorge tells me that he has to work but that he will return in time for dinner. You must not let him work so hard—all work and no play, don't you English have a saying about that?'
'Sebastian has a black monkey on his back at the moment,' Jorge interrupted cheerfully. 'Poor Lisa felt the weight of his temper yesterday, and all because of that cat Pilar Sanchez.'
'Ah, Pilar!' Senor Alvarez grimaced. 'A very feline woman, is that one. I shall have to take care to guard my little Luisa from her claws!'
He drew his daughter forward to be introduced, and Jessica noticed the look in Jorge's eyes as they rested on her. Small and dainty, her glossy black hair was drawn back off her face, her huge pansy-brown eyes were nervous and hesitant as they were introduced. She couldn't be more than eighteen, Jessica reflected, but already she had the ripeness, the innocent sensuality of Latin women.
At Jorge's suggestion she allowed herself to be detached from the others to explore the courtyards. The hacienda was so different from the style of architecture she was accustomed to that she was eager to explore.
'Your daughter is extremely lovely,' Jessica commented warmly when they had gone.
'She is a crimson velvet rose,' her father agreed poetically, 'but many men prefer the beauty of the golden rose that grows best in the cooler climes of the north.'
Senor Alvarez had come to Spain on business as well as pleasure, and when he discovered that Jessica had been helping Sebastian with his new designs he started to talk to her with great enthusiasm and interest about wool and South America. Jessica found it all fascinating; he was an entertaining companion; scholarly, and yet worldly enough to add a little salt to his speech, and like all Latins, he was an expert at turning a neat compliment. Sebastian had never complimented her, Jessica realised with a shock. He had never flirted with her either. The tiny cold lump of unhappiness she had felt on waking and discovering that he had gone grew and refused to be banished.
Sebastian eventually returned to the hacienda just before dinner. Pilar had been invited to join this celebratory meal, mainly because she knew the Alvarez family well, and as she was a widow, it was perfectly permissible for her to join a family party without a male escort.
She arrived just as they were sipping sherry in the sala, her black silk evening dress a perfect foil for her dark beauty and curvaceous figure. In comparison, Jessica felt pale and insignificant in her softly draped cream chiffon suit with its camisole top and loose jacket, even though she had loved it when she tried it on in the shop.
Luisa, as befitted a young girl, was wearing a plain dress in white, and pretty though it was, Jessica didn't think it did the younger girl's complexion justice.
Sebastian had been late joining them and had come into the room only minutes before Pilar, who, the moment she saw him, made a beeline for him, linking her arm with his in a very proprietorial manner, scarlet fingernails like drops of blood against the darkness of his jacket, as she laughed and joked with Senor Alvarez.
'Have you been in to see Lisa?' Jessica managed to ask Sebastian quietly before they went in to dinner. 'She's been moping all day because you were so cross with her.'
She didn't think anyone else had heard her until Pilar turned round suddenly, her eyes raking Jessica's face coldly, her voice falsely sweet as she said smoothly,
'I must go up and see her too before I go. Lisa is suddenly displaying a very naughty strain,' she added for Senor Alvarez' benefit. 'I'm afraid I had to be quite cross with her yesterday.'
Sebastian hadn't answered her question, and Jessica was afraid to ask it again. All her hopes that somehow last night might have had a softening effect on his attitude to her had been destroyed the moment he walked into the sala, his face grimly blank as he sought her out and with meticulous politeness enquired about her day. His very politeness seemed to hold her deliberately at a distance as though he wanted to warn her not to try to come too close. Had his love for Manuela been such that he could never love anyone else? Had her death frozen his emotions, making it impossible for him to feel anything other than desire for another woman?
Jessica sighed, reflecting that the evening ahead wasn't likely to be an easy one. Already she could see that Jorge was being more than simply politely attentive to Luisa and that she was responding with glowing eyes and happy smiles. Sebastian hadn't noticed yet, but when he did… Jorge hadn't been forgiven for refusing to marry Barbara, although privately Jessica thought it was very wrong of Sebastian to attempt to dictate to his brother whom he should marry. But of course that was the Spanish way.
The night was hot and stuffy, thunder growling in the distance. Halfway through the meal Jessica was attacked by a wave of nausea and dizziness, which, fortunately, she managed to fight off. She didn't believe anyone had noticed, until she realised that Pilar was watching her with narrowed, assessing eyes. Trying to dislodge the cold feeling of disquiet she always felt when the other woman watched her, Jessica discreetly refrained from eating much more. Doubtless it was the overpowering heat and threatening storm that was making her feel so odd, and at least Sebastian seemed more relaxed, as he chatted to his godfather. She heard him mention her name and listened, wondering what was being said.
'Your husband has just been praising your ability as a designer,' Senor Alvarez told her, with a smile. 'He tells me that your ideas are nothing short of inspired.'
Again Jessica was conscious of Pilar's malevolent regard, but she tried to ignore it. Sebastian praising her! A tiny thrill of pleasure lightened the ice packed round her heart. Perhaps after all there might be some future for them; some basis on which they could build the foundations of a relationship.
* * *
CHAPTER NINE
'Tia Sofia, have you seen Lisa?' Jessica had been looking for the little girl for half an hour, but no one had seen her since lunchtime. She glanced out of the window at the black sky and pounding rain. Surely Lisa wouldn't have ventured outside? The rain fell in sheets rather than drops, bouncing on the hard dry earth, and on the radio there had been flood warnings.
Sebastian had been concerned for the vines, although he explained that fortunately they were not at a stage in their development when too much damage would be done. The poorer growers might suffer some losses, Jorge had told Jessica later, but Sebastian, together with other wealthy landlords, had formed an association that could help the small growers through difficult patches.
'He takes his responsibilities as head of our family very seriously,' Jorge explained to her. 'Too seriously, I sometimes think, perhaps because he was so young when he had to take over from our father.'
And he had had to take over alone, Jessica reflected without Manuela at his side.
'I'm getting worried about Lisa,' she confided in Sofia with a frown when no one could remember seeing the little girl. 'Where can she be?'
'She has been very upset recently,' Sofia agreed, echoing Jessica's concern. 'I told Sebastian he had been too harsh with her, but he seems to have devils of his own to fight at the moment.'
'I think I'll go upstairs and check again that she isn't in her room—she might just have slipped out,' Jessica commented. 'If you don't find her, we'll organise a search.Children get odd ideas into their head when they're upset—even the most sensible of them.' Lisa wasn't in her room, but Jessica bumped into the girl Maria, who looked after her, as she came out. She looked worried and upset. 'Have you seen Lisa?' Jessica asked her.
The girl shook her head. 'Not since morning,' she told Jessica. 'She was very upset, the little one. Last night…' she bit her lip, flushing and hesitating. '
Yes, go on,' Jessica urged her. 'Last night…?'
'Well, it is just that Senora Sanchez came up to see her. I had gone downstairs to get her some hot milk to help her sleep, and when I came backI could hear their voice
s. Senora Sanchez was very, very angry. I could hear her shouting, but I didn't go in. When she came out she didn't see me, and I went into the room and found Lisa crying. The Senora had told her that she was to be punished for being naughty and that the Conde was to send her away—to a school where they would be very strict with her—and that she would never be allowed to come back.'
Jessica was appalled and looked it. How could Pilar be so heartless, and why had Sebastian not confided his plans to her? Of course Pilar was Lisa's aunt, but surely he might have consulted her before deciding to send Lisa away to school?
She had been intending to suggest that there might be a good school in Seville she could attend, and that during the week they could live in the house there to be with her. How could he treat his daughter so unkindly?
'I tried to comfort her,' Maria went on to say, 'but it was many hours before she went to sleep.'
'You should have come and told me,' Jessica said remorsefully, hating to think of Lisa lying awake and crying while they were dining downstairs unaware of her misery. 'Did she say anything this morning?' probed.
Maria shook her head. 'Not a word. She was very subdued and quiet, but she said nothing.'
Feeling more apprehensive than she wanted to admit, Jessica hurried back downstairs to give Tia Sofia the news.
She too looked grave when Jessica had finished. 'You say Pilar told her that Sebastian was to send her to school? I cannot believe he would come to such a decision without telling us first. Do you think she could have exaggerated?' It was a thought, but Jessica felt that not even Pilar would have dared to tell such a barefaced and hurtful lie without some justification.
Jorge was summoned and told of their fears, and Senor Alvarez, who had accompanied him, was quick to suggest that they each take portions of the house to search. 'Sebastian must be told,' he added firmly. 'I'll telephone him,' Jorge agreed. 'Unless, of course…' he glanced at Jessica, but she shook her head. She didn't trust herself to speak logically to Sebastian at the moment; she was too concerned about Lisa. She thought of the little girl's misery and was overwhelmed by a sensation of nauseous sickness. She had felt slightly unwell when she first woke up and had put it down to the richness of the food at dinner last night and the fact that her system had still not grown accustomed to eating so late.