by Louis Sachar
Twent-Two
You Never Know
High on the cliffs above the secret cove, the weary sailor and the one-eyed pirate dueled to the death. Tied to a tree, the beautiful lady didn’t make a sound for fear of waking up the drunken crew. The sailor thrust his sword through the pirate’s evil heart. The pirate raised his sword in a menacing manner, tottered on the edge of the cliff, then fell to his watery grave.
The garbage truck, clean and bright and shiny like a fire engine, pulled up in front of the apartment building and parked. Gus rode the elevator up to the fourth floor.
“C’mon, Angelooni, let’s go,” Abel called into the bathroom. “Gus is here.”
“Just a sec,” said Angeline.
Abel and Gus waited for her, sillily grinning at each other.
Oh so quietly, the sailor tiptoed through the sleeping crew and untied the beautiful lady. And for the first time, he kissed her sweet lips. They gathered up the gold and the jewels and sailed off to San Francisco, where they lived happily ever after.
Angeline stepped out of the bathroom, wearing her best dress. “Let’s go,” she said.
“Well, don’t you look pretty,” said Gus.
Abel and Gus rode the elevator down as Angeline raced it down the stairs. All out of breath, she beat it by half a second but she pretended she had been waiting there for hours. “Well, it’s about time,” she said, looking at an imaginary watch. “What took you so long?”
“We stopped for a hamburger and french fries,” said Gus.
Angeline laughed. She ran outside to look at the truck. It was so big. It had a huge hood. And its wheels were almost as big as she was. She studied the contraption in the back. It was the place where you dumped the garbage. It was a long flat box without a top. You dump the garbage in it; then, from inside the truck, you pull a lever that raises it over the top of the truck; then you push a button, and it turns over.
Gus opened the door and Angeline climbed into the cab. She sat in the middle. Abel drove and Gus sat on the other side of her. She laughed with delight as her father revved the motor. Gus reached across her and tooted the horn. They were off.
Angeline had been down the same streets many times before. She had seen the same billboards, parking lots, and gas stations. But somehow, looking at them now from inside the garbage truck made them seem special, almost magical. “Where to first?” she asked.
“We still have to pick up Mr. Boone and Mr. Bone,” said Gus.
Angeline laughed. It was the first time she had heard his joke. She thought it was the funniest joke Gus had ever told, a lot funnier than the tomatoes.
They picked up Mr. Bone first, at her condominium. She was waiting outside and waved enthusiastically as the truck drove up. Unlike Angeline, she was wearing her old clothes. She wore torn blue jeans with patches and she carried a picnic basket.
Abel stepped out of the truck and took the basket from her.
“Hello, Gus, Angeline,” she said and quickly kissed Abel. She climbed inside.
She took Angeline’s spot in the middle, and Angeline sat on Gus’s lap. Abel handed the picnic basket back to Melissa. Angeline showed her around. “This is the lever that works the thing in back, and this one, here, this one dumps out the whole truck, like when you’re at the garbage dump.” She turned to her father. “Are we going to the dump?” she asked. “Could we go there too, please? Please?”
Abel shook his head. “Sorry, but we don’t have any garbage,” he told her. “They won’t let you in the dump without garbage.”
“Shucks!” said Angeline. “We should have brought some from home. Maybe Gary’s family has some garbage that they don’t want.”
They pulled up in front of Gary’s house. Angeline ran out and got him. They raced back to the truck.
Abel tried to figure out the best seating arrangement for the five of them.
“Gary and I could sit in the thing in back,” suggested Angeline.
“Ooh, that sounds like fun,” said Gary.
“I’ll sit back there with them,” said Gus. “Just don’t turn us over.”
Gus, Gary, and Angeline climbed into the contraption in the back. From inside the truck, Abel slowly raised them into the air. “Whoa,” said Gary and Angeline together. They had a good view in all directions.
Mostly, the truck followed the regular Thursday route, but Abel also combined some of the best parts from the other days of the week as well. They went past the bowling alley, the giant donut sign, the police department, city hall, and the miniature golf course. As for the regular Thursday customers, they were just out of luck.
Angeline angrily punched herself in the leg.
“What’s the matter, Angelini?” Gus asked.
“We forgot to ask Gary if he had any garbage,” she said.
Gus laughed.
“Now we can’t go to the dump!” she complained.
“Oh, yeah, that’s too bad,” said Gary. “We got lots of garbage that we don’t want.” Then he giggled and said “Angelini,” the way he heard Gus say it.
They went past the automobile dealership, the car wash, and the ravioli factory.
“Look, the ravioli factory!” Angeline pointed out. “Do you get lots of garbage from there, Gus?”
Gus smiled. “Oh, yeah, they are one of our best clients.”
“That’s neat that Mr. Bone came too,” said Gary. “I didn’t think my folks would let me come and miss school, but she’s a teacher! Imagine, a teacher missing school to ride in a garbage truck.”
“Well, you want to know what I think, Gary?” Gus asked slyly. “I think Angeline’s father and Mr. Bone are falling in love.”
Gary and Angeline giggled, and Gus giggled too.
They passed the Mexican restaurant and the paint store. “You missed it,” Angeline told Gary. “When we picked up Mr. Bone, she kissed my father. On the lips!”
“I saw them kiss at the hospital,” said Gary. “Remember?”
“That’s right,” said Angeline.
“Did Gary tell you that he kissed you at the hospital?” Gus asked. “When you were unconscious?”
“Yech!” said Angeline.
Gary denied it. “I did not!”
They passed the radio station and a condemned building.
“Maybe your father and Mr. Bone will get married,” said Gary. “Then Mr. Bone will be your mother, instead of just your teacher.”
Angeline laughed with delight. “And then if we get married too,” she said, “she’ll also be your mother!”
Past the sweater and socks store, where they give you a matching pair of socks with every sweater you buy.
“Then you’ll grow up to be a world-famous oceanographer,” said Gary.
“Or a garbageperson,” said Angeline. “And you’ll be a world-famous comedian!”
“Or a garbageperson,” said Gary.
Then, for a special surprise, the truck headed up the road to the dump.
“Boy, wouldn’t that be something if that all really happens?” said Gary. “Someday, Angeline?”
Angeline gazed out across the garbage dump. She had a gleam in her eye as she said, “You never know.”
And slapped across the back of the garbage truck, there was a bumper sticker that said SAVE THE WHALES.
Also by Louis Sachar
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Copyright
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Someday Angeline
Copyright © 1983 by Louis Sachar
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EPub Edition © 2011 ISBN: 978-0-062-03553-0
Library of Congress Cataloging card number: 82-24502
ISBN-10: 0-380-83444-8 (pbk.)
ISBN-13: 978-0-380-83444-0 (pbk.)
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