by Zoe York
My heart set to pounding hard and fast. Being alone with Cade was something I craved so, it sent my body into overdrive and my emotions spinning wildly. On the heels of a deep breath and a complete failure to slow my pulse, I looked over at Cade. He was looking around, giving me a moment to look at him. His brown curls were mussed, as they almost always were. I followed the strong line of his jaw and down his neck and along his muscled chest, my eyes drawn to the edge of his collar where his tanned skin tempted me to lean over and lick it.
Really? You can’t be thinking like this. You were nearly ruined by this man. Even if it wasn’t what you thought it was, don’t fall right back to a place where you can’t keep it together.
Another swat at my thoughts. I didn’t need to wrestle with myself when I had Cade standing here.
“Nice site to build,” Cade commented as his gaze made its way back to me. “Whose property?”
I scanned the area. It was a lovely lot with the building site nestled in a forested area with a mix of blue spruce, cottonwood and birch. The stream where Lucy noticed the trout ran along one side of the property with the trees thinning to the other side and offering a distant view of Swan Lake. I looked up at Cade and nodded. “It’s a great place. A couple from out of state snapped this land up when the timber company sold some lots off a few years ago. Your dad actually gave the Jacobson’s my name last year.”
Cade nodded slowly, holding my gaze and sending my belly into a dizzying series of flips. He’d never shied away from eye contact. He used to drive me wild with nothing but a look back in the heady days of our youthful love. He hadn’t lost his touch. Whether it was him or my own ridiculous weakness for him, I didn’t know. He was quiet, everything around us fading. I distantly heard the rustle of squirrels in the trees and an irate magpie chattering, but my entire body spun toward Cade. It was as if he was a magnetic force for me.
My breath became shallow and I tried to rein my body in, but it was an exercise in futility. Heat coiled in my belly and radiated outward. Cade angled to face me and reached up to remove my baseball cap. I’d tucked my hair up underneath it, and it tumbled free. He lifted a hand and slid his fingers through the ends of it. He didn’t say a word. The air around us hummed to life, while desire rolled through me in a wave. Hot shivers chased over my skin.
He stepped closer, winding my hair around his hand, reeling me closer with every breath I could barely take.
“Cade, what are you doing?” My voice was raspy and breathy.
“This,” he said, the word fierce and definitive, before his lips crashed against mine.
The point of contact was like a bolt of fire. It galvanized me. My desire and tumult of emotions were nearly burning me up inside—the only relief was to dive into the flames with him.
Our tongues dueled—our kiss rough, hot and wet. He brought me flush against him, his cock hot and hard against me, while his hands roved roughly over me. I couldn’t get close enough, my hands greedily exploring him, sliding up under his shirt and savoring every hard muscled plane and the warmth of his skin.
I wasn’t conscious of anything I was doing until he gentled our kiss, slowly drawing back. His lips dusted along my jaw and down my neck. My skin pebbled in response, and I fought to catch my breath when he paused, his lips against my skin in the curve where my neck met my shoulder. I became conscious enough to realize I had one hand curled over his cock through his jeans and the other gripping his back, holding him tight against me. My body didn’t want any space between us, not even an increment. Neither did my heart.
My mind? Well, therein lay the problem. Every time I thought, I felt as if I was wading through seven years of the mangled emotions that followed what I’d believed had been his betrayal. Thrown into the mix now was my own guilt at having shut him out so completely and cutting myself off from even trying to find out what happened.
“I think maybe I should give you that ride,” Cade murmured into my neck.
I felt his lips move against my skin when he spoke, and it sent heat streaking through me. I held still because I couldn’t bring myself to move away just yet.
His heart pounded in time with mine, and I took a small bit of relief in knowing at least I wasn’t alone in my response. After a few beats, he slowly drew back, straightening, his eyes colliding with mine. He lifted a hand and brushed my hair away from my forehead. “So?”
Through the haze of desire, I stared at him, trying to compute.
“Should we go?” he asked, puncturing the haze just enough I could think.
“Probably,” I finally said.
His mouth hooked at one corner. Damn, I’d forgotten how devastating his half-smiles could be. I’d barely gotten my body under control, and now another wave of need rolled through me.
When he didn’t move away, I finally moved my hand off of his cock. I didn’t want to, I really didn’t, but this was beyond ridiculous. I should be able to act like I had some kind of control. Even though my memories of what things had been like before with us were nothing but good except for the end, I didn’t recall feeling this wildly out of control.
He finally stepped back, his hand sliding down my arm and curling around one of mine. “Let’s go.”
Moments later, I was watching the landscape roll by as Cade drove back toward downtown Willow Brook. A flock of sandhill cranes was scattered about a field, their distinct red crowns standing out amidst the tall grasses. The ride to town was quiet. I was about to tell Cade where my office was when he turned into the parking lot behind it.
When I’d first started my business, I hadn’t ever thought I’d need an office. I kept picking up jobs here and there and took care of the business end of things at home. My business expanded from small jobs to jobs where I actually needed to put my architecture skills to work, and it didn’t work too well to have clients showing up at my home. I rented a small office around the corner from the fire station. The building housed an office supply business on the lower floor and a few offices upstairs.
Cade turned his truck off, and quiet settled around us. My pulse had barely started to calm on the short drive here. In the weighted quiet, it skittered wildly. When I looked toward him, he was looking out the window, his gaze inscrutable. As if he sensed me looking his way, he turned to face me. I swallowed and tried to quell the butterflies spinning in my belly.
“I suppose you have work to do,” he finally said.
“A little. Um, when are you starting work?”
“Next week.”
I felt myself nodding, while I wondered what to say next. I hated this tension between us. There was the good tension linked to the off the charts, seven years of pent up longing, and then the threads of tension tightening after too many years of unresolved messiness between us.
He knocked me off the loop in my brain when he spoke. “Don’t suppose you have a bathroom?”
A laugh bubbled up. “Come on.” I waved for him to follow as I climbed out and made my way inside. Up a flight of stairs from the back hallway, I led him into my office.
“Bathroom’s right through there,” I said, gesturing to the door in the hallway.
I walked into my office and glanced around the room. It was a single room with a drafting table, a desk and a small table with chairs for reviewing plans with clients. I surprised myself by spending a decent amount of time here. I usually met Lucy here several mornings each week and often spent a few hours in the evenings when I needed to catch up on the business end of things. I strolled over to the windows and looked outside. The sun was high in the sky and the street below suddenly busy with traffic backed up behind a slow moving camper. Alaska roads became crowded every summer with massive campers cluttering them.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I answered it without even looking at the screen.
“Hey Amelia.” Earl’s low voice rumbled through the line.
My stomach knotted with tension. I’d already apologized when I dumped him right before our not-wedding, but I’d
been dreading the next time I spoke to him. I cursed myself for not bothering to check to see who was calling. It would have been nice to be mentally prepared, not to mention Cade would be walking in any second now.
“Hi Earl. How’s your fishing trip?” I asked, unable to keep the bite out of my tone.
I might be completely relieved to have ended things once and for all, and I hadn’t wanted to hurt him, yet it was too reinforcing to have him so easily swing back into his life as if nothing was amiss. While it backed up every second doubt I’d had for most of the time we’d dated, it didn’t mean it felt good knowing that’s how little of an effect I had on him.
“Fishing’s great. Thought I’d check in and see how you were doing,” he returned.
If he was the least bit ruffled over what had happened, I couldn’t tell.
“I’m fine. I stopped by to talk when I got back to town, but everyone who might know told me you’d taken off on a fishing trip with Dan.”
“Yep. We went up toward the Yukon River. We’re heading back the day after tomorrow, so I thought maybe we could grab dinner tomorrow at Wildlands.”
I was taken aback, but I immediately realized I should’ve expected something like this from Earl. I figured I owed him dinner at the least.
I heard the bathroom door open and close from the hallway and Cade’s footsteps coming into my office. I studiously kept my attention out the windows. I had nothing to hide, so I wasn’t going to act like I did.
“Sure. Where?”
“Let’s meet at Wildlands. Say 7?”
“Okay.”
I sensed him expecting me to say more, but Cade or not, I didn’t have much else to say. I didn’t particularly want to have dinner with him, but I figured the least I could do was offer more of an explanation than my hurried one before I dashed into the rain.
After a moment of quiet, during which I could feel Cade walking across the room to me, Earl said, “Okay, see you then.”
“Okay. Have a safe trip back.”
I ended the call quickly, swiping the screen off and glancing to Cade.
His features were tight, and I knew in a flash he was angry.
He was dead silent for a moment as he stared out the windows and then flicked his eyes to me. “That was Earl,” he said, a statement rather than a question.
Cade
A flash of anger and jealousy roared through me as I stood there looking at Amelia. What the hell was she doing on the phone with Earl?
If I’d been feeling sensible, I’d have considered that last I knew, she’d bolted from her wedding and not even given Earl much of an explanation. But I wasn’t feeling sensible. I was feeling plain territorial. It didn’t matter we hadn’t bridged the chasm of years of regret and longing between us. It didn’t matter that I’d had absolutely no plans to get involved with anyone seriously ever again—because Amelia had been off limits in my brain ever since I’d heard she was engaged. It didn’t matter that I didn’t really know what she wanted—as far as the concept of ‘want’ functioned in a calm, rational manner.
Nothing mattered except what I knew in my heart and soul. Amelia was mine and always had been. No other man had any claim to her.
Her eyes searched my face, a subtly mutinous look entering her gaze. I knew that look. She was stubborn and whatever she thought I might be thinking, she was getting ready to argue about it.
Hot anger, jealousy and pure lust driving me, I caught her hand in mine and yanked her to me. Sliding one hand over her lush bottom, I pressed her against my arousal and slammed my mouth against hers. She gasped, and I dove into her mouth. Our kiss exploded into a wet tangle of lips, teeth and tongues. Holding her tight against me, I threaded my other hand into her hair as I devoured her mouth.
She didn’t hold back, and I loved that about her. Her tongue warred with mine as she flexed into me. Fire roared through me, our kiss getting rougher and wilder with every second. The sound of footsteps in the hallway through the open doorway barely filtered into my consciousness.
“Hey Amelia, are you…”
Whoever was walking into Amelia’s office came to an abrupt stop, just as Amelia tore her mouth away from mine. We broke apart as abruptly as we’d come together. I stared at her, unable to tear my eyes away. Her breath was heaving, right along with mine, and her cheeks were flushed. Her lips were swollen from our bruising kiss, and I didn’t give a damn we’d just given someone a show.
“Wow, sorry for the interruption, but you two just made my day.”
Amelia snapped her head toward the door, just as I did. Janet from the Firehouse Café stood there with a sly grin on her face. Amelia’s cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink, making me want to yank her right back against me. I shackled my urges and tried to slow the banging of my heart.
“Janet, what’s up?” Amelia managed to ask, her voice husky.
Janet glanced between us, her grin never wavering. “Nothing at all.” With a wink, she spun around and closed the door behind her.
I looked back to Amelia. For several beats, we simply stood there. She was so close, I could easily reach over and pull her right back to me. I didn’t. I wanted her so fiercely, yet I needed to get control. I was letting burning lust and raw need drive everything. My control was frayed and the jealousy that sent me crashing into her was still simmering. I forced myself to take a slow breath.
After a moment, I thought I could manage myself. “I, uh…”
Just what did I mean to say? Hell if I knew.
Muddled and irritated with myself for being so at the mercy of her, I stepped back and slipped my hands in my pockets. “I’m guessing you need to get to work. I’ve got a few things to take care of, so I’ll go.”
I started to turn when her voice stopped me.
“Cade.”
I glanced back, arching a brow.
“I didn’t call Earl. He called me,” she said simply.
I nodded and kept my damn mouth shut. I was acting like a fucking fool over her, and I didn’t like it. Not one bit.
“It doesn’t mean anything,” she added.
I realized she was expecting me to say something.
“I don’t have any right to get pissed about Earl, so you don’t need to explain.” I paused, my thoughts spinning back to the day Amelia had walked in at the worst possible moment. It didn’t matter that it had all been Shannon’s doing. I had a glimmer of what she must’ve felt like back then. I was chewed up inside over nothing other than a phone call from the man I knew she’d left.
She was still watching me, and I wanted to step to her and wrap her in my arms and forget the knotted mess of emotions we’d never had a chance to untangle. Now we had that chance, but it was going to take some doing.
“Now I know how you felt that day you saw Shannon trying to climb in bed with me.”
Her eyes widened and her breath drew in sharply. A heaviness filled the space between us, and my heart ached, literally.
“Maybe so,” she said softly.
Footsteps sounded in the hallway again. I marshaled my sanity and stepped to her again. Dipping my head, I dropped a quick kiss on her lips, forcing myself to draw back immediately. “I’m supposed to meet the guys Saturday at Wildlands. How about you meet me there later?”
I figured perhaps we should try to do something normal and maybe that would help. Amelia’s eyes flashed with something and then she shook her head slowly. “I just told Earl I’d meet him for dinner. It’s not a date. I just figured I owed him an explanation for bolting from our wedding.”
Her words might as well have been static for all I could hear with the hot jealousy that shot through me. I couldn’t do this, couldn’t fucking do it. I spun away and stalked out of her office.
Amelia
I started to run after him, but came to an abrupt stop when I saw Cade’s mother in the doorway. Her footsteps must have been the ones we heard approaching. Georgia Masters flicked her eyes from Cade to me. Whatever might be passing through her mind, s
he kept to herself as she glanced up to Cade. Cade kept walking, his head down.
I fought the tears pressing hot against the back of my eyes. Georgia looked toward me as Cade’s boots sounded on the stairs. I held myself back from dashing past Georgia and took in a gulp of air.
The door slammed shut, its sound echoing all the way up the stairs. Georgia’s assessing gaze scanned me. Long before Cade and I had gotten involved, Georgia had been close to a second mother to me. Being good friends with my own mother meant Georgia was around often and babysat for my brother and me when we were little. After Cade had moved away and things had ended on such an ugly note, it had been hard to be around Georgia.
After a few overtures at first, Georgia stopped trying to talk to me about Cade and let me stew in my own anger. I wished for about the thousandth time in the last week or so that I hadn’t been so damn stubborn for so long. My firm refusal to talk about anything to do with Cade meant I’d never found out the truth of Shannon’s full ownership of that betrayal.
Georgia angled her head toward my office and walked toward the table. I followed her, if anything because I didn’t know what else to do. Georgia sat down at the small circular table. “Sit down dear,” she said firmly.
I sat down across from her, resting my elbows on the table and tunneling my hands through my hair.
“Okay, are we allowed to talk about Cade now?” Georgia asked pointedly.
I met her sharp green gaze and nodded.
Georgia was quiet for a beat. “You love him and he loves you. You both messed up because you’re both stubborn as hell.”
I swallowed against the emotion knotting in my chest and throat. “Did you always know he’d never had anything to do with Shannon?”
Georgia nodded slowly. “At first, it was only because I knew my son would never do anything like that. Later, the rumors died down and I sorted out what happened. I didn’t try to talk to you about it back then. By then, he was far away in California, and honey, you weren’t having it. So I let it go. He moved on and it seemed like you did too. Trust me, I wanted to meddle, but it didn’t seem fair to either one of you.”