by Zoe York
Amelia
I leaned my elbows on the counter and watched as Cade practically inhaled the omelet I’d served him a few minutes ago. I’d managed to get through most of the morning without letting my pushy, critical mind get in the way of the best morning I’d had in as long as I could remember. Last night had been amazing. This morning had been amazing. It felt so strange and familiar at once to be with Cade like this again. It was hard to believe the ugly part of last night had even happened. I still didn’t know quite what to think of how easily I’d let go of Earl. In hindsight, it was brutally clear I’d never loved him. My mind and heart were filled with Cade and Cade alone.
I wasn’t in the mood to avoid anything anymore. I’d wasted two years of my life on Earl and far more all because I’d been so good at avoiding anything that made me think about Cade. Funny thing was, despite my stubborn, herculean efforts, Cade had never been far from my mind. All I’d succeeded at was blocking myself from the truth. What a waste.
The coffee maker beeped and I turned to check it. After filling two mugs, I slid one across the counter and sat down across from him. “So, when did you say you start work?”
“Monday,” he said between bites.
“What are you doing today?”
He took a slow sip of coffee, his green gaze assessing. “Whatever you’re doing,” he said, a slow grin curling the corners of his mouth.
I smiled straight through to my toes, emotion rocking me as tears pricked at my eyes.
His smile faded, and he set his coffee down, reaching over to curl his hand around mine. “Hey, if it’s too much, just say so. There’s what I want now and what I want long-term. I don’t want to take it slow, but I know maybe the timing’s not the best.” He paused, his throat working and his eyes locking to mine—his intent gaze making me feel as if he could see right into my heart. “I don’t want to fuck this up again.”
I swallowed against the emotion clogging my throat and shook my head. “It’s not that. It’s just everything feels so good and I’m so glad you’re here and I just don’t want to mess up. As far as I’m concerned, you should just stay right here and never leave.”
He chuckled, the low rumble curling around my heart. “Well, that’s easy. As it is, I’m shacking up with my parents until I find somewhere else. Trust me, my mom’ll do a dance if I tell her I’m staying with you.”
“She probably would.” I paused to sip my coffee. “I think I should feel bad about Earl, but I don’t. I walked out on us before I even knew you were coming home. And all the reasons I did were because it had never been right.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek and looked over at Cade. He took another bite of his omelet. After he finished chewing, he eyed me and shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not thinking so much about Earl, but us. If taking things slow means we don’t screw this six ways to Sunday again, I’ll do it.”
I took another sip of coffee, savoring the bitter flavor and pondering how to say what I knew needed to be said. “We might have done things differently, but Shannon’s the one who lied.”
Darkness flashed in Cade’s eyes. “It’s fair to say we’re both pretty stubborn,” he finally said.
I squeezed his hand. “Maybe. Tell me, are you still mad at me?”
He arched a brow in question.
“For getting so angry I never gave you a chance to explain,” I added.
He squeezed my hand in return and took a swallow of coffee, his eyes considering. “I was, but I’m not now. Look, I don’t blame you for a second for getting pissed that morning. Hell, I couldn’t even deal with you sitting at a table with Earl even when I knew why you were there.” He paused and set his coffee down, reaching for my other hand and holding both in his. “We can’t change the past. I came home prepared to get used to living without you when I knew you were nearby. It was fucking hell when I was over three thousand miles away, but I didn’t have to see you. Then, well, everything changed and now we’re here. Let’s just take it one day at a time. If there’s one thing you don’t need to worry about it’s me going anywhere and wanting anyone else. Hell, I missed you so damn much, I didn’t even bother trying to find someone else.”
“You didn’t see anyone? At all?” I asked. I couldn’t help the tiny swirls of doubts in my mind. The old seeds of insecurity planted by Shannon’s manipulation and the reality most guys just didn’t know how to deal with me were hard to move beyond. It wasn’t like I went around thinking I was an ugly duckling. No, rather I knew quite well most men preferred women who didn’t stand eye to eye with them. It was what it was. I’d never bothered with the bigger implications of that and what it said about the world we lived in. I stared over at him.
He gave my hands a squeeze before freeing one to snag his coffee cup and take a long swallow. “I wasn’t celibate if that’s what you’re asking, but I haven’t slept beside anyone since you.”
His eyes held mine, and my heart set to hammering so hard and fast I could barely breathe as the enormity of what he meant sank in. I’d thought I was alone in my complete acceptance that no one else would ever measure up to what I had with Cade.
Cade
I walked into the fire station and leaned my elbows on the reception desk. Maisie was on the phone, her eyes flicking to me as if puzzled at my presence. It was midway through my second week on duty, and I’d determined I was going to kill her with kindness. It just goes to show how prickly she was that me, a man who’d worn my bitterness toward women like a badge for years, was trying to cajole her into being nicer.
But damn. She was like a cactus, and Carol had been more like a mother hen to all of us. It was difficult to believe Maisie was actually related to her. They shared the same wide brown eyes, and though my memories of Carol when she was younger were through the hazy lens of a little boy, I recalled her being pretty. Maisie could be if she stopped glaring at everyone.
I’d mentioned to Amelia that I missed Carol and couldn’t quite believe Carol had persuaded my father to agree to hire Maisie for dispatch. She’d looked over at me and sighed, reminding me Maisie had spent her childhood dragged all over the place with pretty much nowhere to call home. According to Amelia, Maisie had come to visit Carol when she was in hospice, and Carol had asked my father to give her a chance with a job. She’d then pointedly ordered me to be nice.
I figured if Maisie couldn’t pamper me and the guys, we’d kill her with kindness. In my short time here, I watched her ignore all the guys, studiously avoid anything resembling a friendly conversation and wear the chip on her shoulder as if it were a cinder block. She’d been so prickly, the rest of the guys avoided her at all costs with the exception of Beck who occasionally, very occasionally, eyed her and made some attempt at small talk. Beck’s exterior was like a non-stick pan—everything slid right off of him, so Maisie’s unfriendliness didn’t bother him much.
All in all, I was feeling magnanimous. The last two weeks had been about the best of my life. Being with Amelia was just short of heaven. Oh, we had some stuff to get through, and she was as stubborn as I remembered, but then so was I. The best thing about arguments was we knew how to have fucking awesome makeup sex. My libido, long sidelined to casual encounters, was getting a hell of a workout these days. Only an hour ago, Amelia’s mouth had been wrapped around my cock in the shower. That was after I’d been buried to the hilt inside of her right after we woke up.
There was my overall good mood and the fact I preferred to have my crew like and trust our main dispatcher. I didn’t worry Maisie wouldn’t be on the dot when it came to her job. She took it very seriously. Her attitude, however, left more than a little to be desired.
I leaned on my elbows and smiled at her when she finally tapped to end whatever call she was on. She adjusted her headset and glared up at me. “Can I help you?” she said stiffly.
She had no idea how lucky she was I wasn’t feeling as cranky as I had been for seven years straight. Otherwise, I’d have snapped right back at her. Instead, I remind
ed myself to be patient. If I didn’t want her to act like this, I needed to not be an asshole.
“Rex, Beck and I were hoping to have lunch with you,” I said. Beck and I had chatted with my father the other day about doing this.
Maisie raised one of her dark brows, staring at me as if I’d just proposed she go roll in a puddle of mud.
“Why?” was her only reply.
“Because you’re our main dispatcher, and we’d like to meet to talk about a few things around the station.”
I heard the door open and close behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Beck approaching. Beck leaned against the counter beside me, his eyes flicking from me to Maisie. Beck ran a hand through his black curls. “Well, I see you’re as friendly as usual,” he said to Maisie.
Maisie’s cheeks flared red. If possible, I was fairly certain her eyes would have burned holes in Beck. She huffed and crossed her arms. “I don’t have to be friendly. I take my job seriously and all calls are routed promptly.”
Beck eyed her, and I sensed a thread of irritation from him. Not unusual given how flat-out cranky Maisie was, but unusual for Beck. After a beat, Beck glanced to me and nodded as if he expected me to handle her.
I had trained for all kinds of things as a hotshot firefighter and had been foreman on a crew in California for three years. None of that prepared me for an epically cranky dispatcher who had my crew running for cover whenever they happened to be near her.
“Maisie, let me rephrase. We’re going to lunch. You’re coming with us. This is not a request. Consider it a job meeting. I’ve already arranged coverage. Meet us here at noon,” I said.
Her eyes widened, and her mouth tightened, but she nodded without a word. I pushed away from the counter and strode through the door into the back.
Beck followed me. The moment we made it to the break room in back and saw no one was around, Beck rolled his eyes. “Damn. That woman can be a serious bitch. Gotta say, I’m glad you’re here. She’s only been with us a few months, and I’ve been so damn busy covering both crews, I didn’t have time to notice how she was affecting the guys. Plus, your dad’s pretty protective of her.”
I caught the back of a chair at the break table and swung it out to sit down. Beck plunked down across from me with a sigh.
I chuckled. “Yeah, she’s not easy. Practically the opposite of her grandmother.”
I glanced behind him to the counter lining the wall, eying the coffee pot. Seeing it was half full, I stood and grabbed a mug. “Want some?” I asked, glancing to Beck as I poured. At Beck’s nod, I passed the first mug to him and filled another for myself before sitting back down.
“I’d bet my dad’s protective of her. You know him. He’s a softie. Carol was one of my mom’s good friends too, so she probably sweet-talked him into hiring Maisie.”
Beck took a gulp of coffee and leaned back in his chair. “Oh, I’m sure of it. Honestly, if we can get her to just be neutral, it’s a win. She does a good job. She’s fast and actually good on the line with the emergency calls. She’s sharp and focused, which keeps her from getting sidetracked by being freaked out. She also doesn’t laugh when people call about the craziest shit. Did you hear about the guy who called because someone was trying to relocate his hunting cabin?”
I almost spit out my coffee. “What?!”
Beck nodded with a gleam in his eyes. “Oh yeah. Only in Alaska. Guy has a cabin out toward the mountains for hunting. Calls up and says someone has the place up on jacks to load onto a trailer. I mean, it was a small place, but still. Fuckin’ hilarious! Anyway, I’d have laughed my ass off if I took that call. Maisie stayed cool the whole way through. Good thing too because the guy was seriously pissed. So your dad headed out there and then called us for help to get the cabin back onto its pilings. A change of pace for us, that’s for sure.”
I shook my head. “Change of pace is one way to put it. What the hell did my dad charge the attempted cabin thief with?
“Attempted theft,” Beck said with a shrug. “He put a dollar figure on it, but the guy who owned the cabin thought it wasn’t enough. You know how that goes. Anyway, rumor has it you’re shacked up with your girl again.”
I couldn’t help it. Just thinking I could actually call Amelia my girl again made me feel so damn good. I flashed a wry grin. “Rumor may be true.”
I’d been staying at her place every night since the first night I’d been there. I sobered. “Seriously, I’m guessing Earl might have some thoughts about that, but… Hell, I don’t know. It’s like we picked up right where we left off.”
“Doesn’t really matter what Earl thinks. Plenty of chatter about it, but who gives a damn? Look, Earl’s not a bad guy, but he’s always been a tad too sure of himself for me. Look at me, I play the field and like it that way. Earl’s always done the same, but tries to act like he doesn’t. Amelia was like a prize for him. You’re damn lucky he didn’t make the other night into more than it was. He’s like that. Kinda petty if you ask me.”
I couldn’t help but wonder what Amelia had ever seen in him. Then, I remembered what she’d said—something to the effect that was the best she’d get. Just like that, I felt as if I’d been kicked in the gut. Though we were floating along in a hazy, lust-driven madness after seven years apart, I knew there were some deep waters getting stirred. I had my own anger I’d clung to after she shut me out, while I knew she had her own pain after seeing Shannon make a play for me. I didn’t want either one of those issues to linger in any way. I hated the rub of worrying about her thinking she didn’t deserve more.
I was about to reply when the intercom crackled and Maisie announced a call for a fire downtown. Within minutes, the rest of the local crew was buzzing through the station and sirens were blaring as they flew down to respond.
Amelia
I stood beside Lucy and scanned the lot in front of us. As promised, Max had arrived last week and taken care of the excavation. It was early evening now, and the foundation crew had left for the day. I took care of the architectural design for projects, while Lucy and I handled the construction together. I contracted out for excavation, foundation work, and plumbing. Conveniently, Lucy was also a certified electrician.
I grinned when I met Lucy’s eyes. “Time to start building.”
Lucy held her hand aloft for a high-five. “You got it,” she said when our hands collided with a whack. “Should we start tonight or wait until tomorrow?”
Alaskan summers created an odd dynamic. On the one hand, when it came to anything one might want to do outdoors, summer felt so short. Yet, on the other hand, the days were so long, the hours added up to about the same as a longer summer. My construction business felt like a race every year. Long days, short nights, and every project I felt I could handle crammed in.
I considered Lucy’s question. Since it was after seven in the evening, we could knock out a few hours of work right now if we wanted before darkness rolled in. If it weren’t for Cade, I probably would’ve said yes. I caught Lucy’s eyes and shook my head. “Nah. Let’s start tomorrow. Meet at seven?”
Lucy’s eyes crinkled at the corner with her sly grin. “You seem to have changed your work habits lately.”
I fought to keep from flushing, but my cheeks heated against my will. “Maybe. You got a problem with that?”
Lucy shook her head. “Nope. You’re the boss. You haven’t said much, but I’m guessing things are pretty darn okay with Cade.”
My cheeks got even hotter. “Things are…” I paused when I realized I was about to say ‘great.’ Because that’s how it felt. Actually, great didn’t even capture how good it felt to have Cade home with me again. I felt as if I’d been alone in the desert for years. He’d been a mirage in my memory for so long, and now he was real—everything I remembered and more. Just as I imagined, he’d grown and settled into himself. He was all man and he was mine again. Yet, there was a tiny corner of my mind that worried I was diving in too fast after walking out on Earl. It had only been a
month ago that I’d been an hour before my not-wedding.
I thanked my stars time and again that I’d had enough sense to make my choice about Earl before I saw Cade, before I had any clue he was moving home. Otherwise, I’d be even more of a mess over it all. As it was, I was so far gone over Cade, if he proposed we get married tonight, I wouldn’t even hesitate. And that scared the hell out of me. I’d pretty much fallen apart inside over him before. I didn’t know if I was up for being this vulnerable again. But that was the problem when it came to me with Cade—I was always vulnerable. He meant too much. We meant too much.
I glanced back to Lucy. “Things are pretty darn okay with Cade.”
Lucy flashed a grin and started to walk toward the work truck parked at the edge of the lot. I walked alongside her. When we reached the truck, Lucy hooked her arm on the back and eyed me. “As relaxed as you’ve been, I’d bet you two have almost burned your cabin down a few times.”
I burst out laughing. When I caught my breath, I shrugged. “Maybe so. He’s a firefighter though, so we’ll be fine.”
Lucy’s grin faded, her gaze becoming somber. “Just checking in, but you were, well, a little stressed about him before. I’m sure the sex is great, and trust me, I see how he looks at you, but have you sorted out all the mess from before?”
I eyed her for a long moment and nodded. “I think so. I mean, it was a giant misunderstanding. Made worse by me being stubborn as hell and him being gone the whole time.”
Lucy laughed softly. “You’re definitely stubborn as hell. Just making sure you’re okay.”
I sensed something was up. Lucy wasn’t one to over-worry. “What’s up?”
“Just checking because I heard from Janet that Shannon’s back. Because she heard Cade was back in town,” Lucy said flatly.
My gut started churning. The pain of walking in on Shannon climbing in bed naked with Cade was scabbed over, but still there. I tried to remind myself Cade had told me the truth, but my emotions on the matter weren’t exactly sensible. “What the fuck is she doing here? Doesn’t she live in Anchorage now?”