Let Love Find You

by Johanna Lindsey

  Chapter Forty-Five

  JULIE HAD LED AMANDA out of the parlor and into the dining room across the hall. The formal table had been removed for the duration of the house party, replaced by a half dozen long serving tables at which servants stood ready to assist guests and refill the platters and serving dishes as needed. Amanda still wasn’t hungry enough to eat, but Julie was and began filling a plate. Unfortunately, Devin was also in the dining room, a drink in his hand, talking with yet another middle-aged couple. He noticed Amanda immediately, gave her a long look, but didn’t break off his conversation.

  After a few covert glances in his direction, Amanda tried to ignore his presence and kept pace with Julie as she made her way down the length of one table, taking a little food from each platter. Maybe she should eat, Amanda thought. Maybe she should get out of that room where her only urge was to glance behind her to see if Devin was still there. Maybe she should just cry and get it over with.

  Aunt Julie, still concentrating on her plate and peeking under assorted covers, questioned, “What’s wrong, m’dear? I thought you’d be relieved after I rescued you from that addlebrained old bird.”

  “I am, thank you.”

  “You don’t look relieved.”

  “I’m confused.”

  Julie glanced at her sharply. “Surely not over that bounder?!”

  “No, really.” Amanda gave her a half grin.

  “Then what’s troubling you?”

  “It’s just—I don’t know. The only thing I can guess is that I thought I’d be happy with so many choices, but I’m not.”

  “Do you really have so many? Seems to me you only have one.”

  “Who?”

  Julie snorted that Amanda would even ask that. “The one you can’t keep your eyes off for more’n a minute.”

  Amanda winced to herself, having little doubt that her aunt was talking about Devin. Apparently her father wasn’t the only one who’d noticed how often her eyes traveled to him. But she didn’t want to acknowledge that guess or have to explain that he wasn’t interested in getting married. So he really wasn’t a choice—was he?

  In an effort to get both their minds off Devin, she said, “You haven’t even met Kendall yet. When you do, you’ll see why—”

  “I saw him. Handsome boy, quite dashing, can’t deny that, no indeed. I suppose you could be happy with him.”

  Did her aunt have to sound so doubtful?

  “Besides,” Julie added, “if you’re so sure about him, what are you confused about?”

  “That’s the problem, I’m not sure about him yet, when there’s still Robert to consider, too. And with both of them in the same house, both wanting my attention at the same time, I really am going to have to decide which one I prefer.”

  “Thought you’d already figured on doing that by the time this party is over.”

  “That was the plan,” Amanda agreed. “But that was before I realized that one of them might be offended and leave if I don’t give him my undivided attention.”

  “Nonsense, you’ve had beaus competing over you for three Seasons now. They know how it’s done.”

  She could almost feel Devin’s eyes on her back. It was making it deuced hard for her to concentrate. Julie was staring at her, waiting for a reply.

  She finally got out, “I—I’m afraid Kendall might be the exception, that he’ll back off rather than compete. Unlike the others, Kendall didn’t come to town to get married, hadn’t even thought of marriage yet, and he doesn’t actually socialize, so he’s only here to see me.”

  Julie scoffed. “There’s an easy solution. Just concentrate on the one you think will bolt. The other one will probably enjoy the competition as most of them do, giving you the time you expected to have to make your choice—or you could concentrate on the one you keep stealing glances at.”

  Amanda rolled her eyes. “I’m going to take your first bit of advice, which is the most logical, and give Kendall my undivided attention. Well, that’s if he isn’t scandalized tomorrow when we go riding, me astride.”

  Julie snorted. “If he is, I’ll show him the door m’self. Now, if you’re not going to eat, go enjoy your party. It is for you, you know.”

  With a grateful nod, Amanda hurried out of the room. Devin started to do the same, but Julie moved forward to intercept him. “She’s not going anywhere you can’t find her later,” Julie said knowingly. “A moment, if you please.”

  “Of course, Lady Julie.”

  “I’ve come up with the perfect payment for your matchmaking efforts on Amanda’s behalf.”

  “I told you that wasn’t necessary. She’s pretty much made her choice.”

  “Has she? I’m not so sure. And she mentioned to me your interest—”

  “She did what?!” Devin said, alarmed.

  Julie laughed. “Don’t get ahead of me. Your interest in a champion stallion. A friend of mine has one for sale.”

  Devin blushed slightly before he said, “We’re probably talking about the same horse, but your friend keeps raising his price on me.”

  “Yes, Mandy mentioned that, too, which is why I got him down to a firm, reasonable price for you. My payment, as it were, for Cupid’s assistance. The question is, when are you going to get in the running?”

  Devin burst out laughing. Lady Ophelia had cornered him an hour ago to tell him how pleased she was with his work as Cupid, and if the happiness Amanda had been displaying continued to the altar, he would earn a big bonus. The Lockes didn’t need a matchmaker, they had a house full of them!

  Chapter Forty-Six

  IT WAS A HECTIC two days for Amanda, riding with Kendall, still taking early-morning lessons with Devin, and helping Ophelia organize activities to keep the guests amused during the day. Aside from the usual parlor games, the ladies were offered tapestry sewing, which was typically a chance to gossip without men around. But Ophelia had had a special tapestry drawn for the occasion, though the ladies weren’t aware of that. If they had been, they would no doubt have asked why they were putting their needles to a finely sketched image of Scottish bagpipes. The Highland musicians hadn’t arrived yet—and were still Ophelia’s closely held secret for her husband’s birthday ball!

  But the highlight of the party thus far was indoor croquet! Trust Ophelia to come up with something novel. The game was set up in the ballroom, with specially crafted wickets that would stand upright despite the absence of grass. But the very absence of grass threw a new wrinkle into a game everyone loved, since the balls went flying across the wooden floor with nothing to stop them other than strategically placed rugs that might or might not slow them down a little. So everyone had to adjust his or her mallet swing and soon figured out how to aim toward those rugs first, then the wickets. Laughter poured out of the ballroom, Amanda’s included.

  Ophelia had, realizing belatedly, said, “I probably should have had pillowy balls made up that wouldn’t travel so far.”

  Amanda had disagreed. “This is more fun! As long as nothing gets broken, including people’s ankles!” Quite a few guests had to hop out of the way of the speeding wooden balls.

  Kendall enjoyed himself and was even heard to remark, “Didn’t know parties could be so entertaining.”

  Nervous about her first ride with Kendall, Amanda had been amazed that his only comment about her riding astride with him had been “Wouldn’t have suggested this if you were on your usual saddle, but would you care to race?”

  Amanda had laughed and politely declined, telling him, “I’m not used to this mare yet, she’s new.”

  She should have been more pleased by Kendall’s acceptance of how she chose to ride. She’d worked so hard for this, and she did like him. Everything about him was right, but—but what? Was it just that Devin now excited her more? It probably was, but that wasn’t going anywhere. He was even back to being strictly professional and rather abrupt with her during their lessons, as if he was trying to distance himself from her—or push her toward Kendall, his cho
ice for her.

  Tonight she wore a pale lavender gown with front closures because she knew the servants were going to be invited to join the festivities tonight as soon as the Highland musicians arrived, but rather than spoil the surprise for Alice, she just told her to take the night off.

  Amanda’s father was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs and gave her his arm to escort her to the ballroom, but paused on the way. “I also want to give you a well-deserved gift, for the same reasons Devin did.” He showed her the bracelet dangling from his finger. It had a single charm on it, a white opal horse.

  “How thoughtful!” she exclaimed, hugging her father, then holding out her wrist so he could put the bracelet on her. “It’s beautiful, Father. Thank you.”

  “You deserve it for what you accomplished. Now, may I have the first dance?”

  Amanda laughed. The Scotsmen were already playing, and no waltzes tonight! The music was lively and the dancing much more exuberant because of it. It took the servants to show the nobles how!

  “Are you sure you want to try that?” Amanda asked her father.

  “I’ve been to Scotland a few times in my day. This does bring back memories.”

  They took to the floor. Amanda spotted Duncan MacTavish and his wife, Sabrina, standing with Ophelia. Inviting Rafe’s old friend to the party had been Ophelia’s other surprise for her husband. To go by the surprise and pleasure on Rafe’s face when he joined them, Amanda could see that Ophelia had succeeded in keeping that a secret, too. Rafe swept his wife into an amorous embrace that ended with an even more amorous kiss. Quite a few people cheered, guessing correctly that he’d just got another birthday gift.

  After the dance, Amanda started toward her brother’s group to greet his friends, but was surprised to see her eldest aunt, Esmerelda, in the ballroom without a coat on and couldn’t resist stopping to tease her about it. But Esmerelda was talking to her sister Julie, and Amanda caught the tail end of their conversation before they noticed her.

  “Those two never could keep their hands off each other,” Esmerelda said with a chuckle, gazing at Raphael and Ophelia. “I knew what kind of hanky-panky was going on in my house when they stayed with me before they married.”

  Amanda decided not to interrupt them after all. She wasn’t sure if her aunt meant Rafe and Ophelia had actually been intimate before marriage, but obviously Phelia had been bold enough to share something with Rafe prior to marriage, which could well have opened their eyes to how much they were in love with each other. What if she was a little more forward, even seductive, with Devin? It was worth a try when she wasn’t sure she could go forward with marriage to someone else without at least knowing what Devin’s feelings for her really were.

  She went off to find him. The bracelet from her father reminded her that she’d never thanked Devin properly for his gift of Sarahtoo. She found him standing alone, his friend William just leaving his side.

  She gave him a warm smile. “Sarahtoo was one of the nicest gifts I’ve ever received. I know I thanked you for finding her for me, but I didn’t know you’d—”

  “You deserved it,” he cut in, obviously uncomfortable with her gratitude. “You accomplished what you set out to do. In fact, if you’re not going to tackle the sidesaddle, you don’t need any more lessons.”

  “I still might,” she said quickly, alarmed at the thought of not seeing him after the party was over. “Haven’t made up my mind about it yet.”

  He raised a black brow. “I could have sworn your father made up your mind for you on that subject. And Kendall didn’t mind your riding style at all, did he?”

  She didn’t want to discuss Kendall, sidesaddles, or that she’d gone to a lot of trouble to win a man she was no longer thrilled with. Making an effort to be a little more assertive, she asked, “Would you like to dance one of these Scottish reels with me?”

  “Too rambunctious for me, I’ll pass.”

  She was going to suggest a moment of stargazing on the terrace instead, but he looked directly into her eyes, and the warmth she saw in his amber gaze stole her breath away.

  “But you go ahead and enjoy the dancing,” he said, then actually walked away from her! She glanced down and away to hide her acute disappointment.

  William approached Amanda and, apparently, noticing her hurt expression, said, “Devin’s abruptness can sometimes seem insulting, but it’s not intentional. He’s a fine man, he just had a hard time as a child growing up with no parents. He resists getting close to people. I used to wonder if it was because he thinks they’ll leave him as his parents did.”

  She was amazed by William’s insight. She’d felt sorry that Devin had grown up without parents and had felt closer to him when he’d told her about it. But it hadn’t occurred to her that his unusual childhood would make him afraid to risk loving someone.

  Wanting to assure William that she wasn’t as hurt as she must have appeared, she said with a smile, “Thank you. Would you like to dance?”

  He grinned widely. “It would be my honor.”

  Robert found her for the next dance, then Kendall after that, though he seemed quite uncomfortable dancing a reel. John Trask gave it a whirl, though she could tell by the fumes coming off him that he’d been drinking a bit heavily with his gambling cronies tonight, so it was a wonder he didn’t trip them up. But she did spend the rest of the evening trying not to think about Devin and managed to have a fun if exhausting time. She even danced with the butler!

  But by the time the Highlanders proved they could play a waltz, Amanda didn’t feel like dancing anymore. Despite the early hour, she decided to slip away, letting her father know that the Scots had worn her out and she needed a little extra rest tonight.

  The lamp that had been left on in her room had burned out, and the fire in the fireplace was down to just embers, but the moonlight streaming in was bright enough that she didn’t need more light simply to prepare for bed.

  She stood in front of the fireplace, and after removing her gown, she tossed it onto the nearest chair. She was reaching for the ties on her chemise when she felt the draft on her bare shoulders and thought Alice had followed her upstairs to help her. She swung around to scold her maid and send her back to the party, but sucked in her breath instead. It wasn’t Alice who’d opened her door. . . .

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  “THEY’VE JUST TOLD ME you won’t have me. I’d been willing to wait, to win you fairly. But now they want to push drabs on me instead. I won’t have it!”

  Farrell Exter stood just inside the door. He sounded so foxed, he probably didn’t realize the door was still open. If she screamed now, it would carry down the hallway, but none of the family’s personal servants were in their wing tonight, they were all at the party! And her screams weren’t likely to be heard downstairs over the noise of a hundred conversations. The realization made her blanch.

  She was paralyzed with indecision. Would screaming spur Farrell to action or frighten him away? If he didn’t sound furious, too, she could probably talk sense into him. But inebriation and anger were a lethal combination. It had given him the foolish courage to show up in her room. For what? Just to complain because she wouldn’t have him? Yet the fear that was upon her warned her he wanted something she’d never willingly give him. She opened her mouth to scream, but he laughed.

  “Go ahead, and find out how quickly we get rushed to the altar.”

  Oh, God, that was his plan? She began to tremble, so terrified now that her voice cracked. “Get out.”

  “No, I don’t think so,” he said in a smug slur. “It occurs to me I can’t lose here. We get discovered, you’re compromised. I bed you, you’re compromised. Either way, I win. So I might as well have a taste of what it’s going to be like having you for a wife.”

  “My father won’t give me to you no matter what!”

  “No? Then he’ll have to pay me off, won’t he? To keep my mouth shut that you’ve been ruined. Sounds to me like I still win, with you or wi
thout—”

  Farrell didn’t get a chance to finish. Someone whipped him around and Amanda heard the crack of bone before Farrell hit the floor. But with him down, she now had a clear view of who had come to her rescue. Relief washed over her so quickly, she sank to her knees.

  “Sounds to me like you just lost,” Devin snarled as he bent to one knee to smash his fist into Farrell’s face twice more. “Come near her again and I’ll kill you.” Then Devin yanked Farrell to his feet and tossed him out into the corridor. “Get out of this house now while you still can. Tonight! Tomorrow will be too late!”

  Devin stood at the door, apparently making sure Farrell left the wing. He was facing the servants’ stairs, which was probably the way Farrell had snuck up here.

  “Sounds like he’s tumbled down the stairs, he’s in such a hurry. Good. Hope he broke his bloody neck!” Devin turned back into the room, drew in his breath sharply at the sight of her in her underclothes, and didn’t move another inch. He seemed as transfixed as she was.

  Then Devin pushed the door closed behind him and quickly strode over to her. He gently took her by the arms and lifted her to her feet.

  Amanda clung to him, trembling. “Hold me, please, Devin. Don’t let me go.”

  His arms immediately encircled her tightly. “I won’t leave you, Mandy. I’m here. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

  He held her like that for a long while. Her fear was fading, yet she didn’t want him to let go of her, didn’t want him to leave either, now that she was safe. So she squeaked in protest when she thought he was stepping back from her, but it was only to lift her in his arms and carry her to the bed. He tossed back the cover before he sat down with her in his lap, then pulled the cover over her. A blush showed up. She had been completely unmindful of her scanty attire, but he wasn’t. But at least he was still too concerned over what had just happened and its effect on her to leave her yet.

  Cradled in his arms, he began slowly picking the pins from her coiffure. Such an odd thing to do for her under the circumstances.