She looked at him briefly and stepped into the room. He removed his hand, curling his fingers as if he could retain the warmth and feel of her. He couldn’t wait until he had the right to touch her and hold her whenever he pleased without worrying that someone else might see.
“How impressive,” Lady Louisa purred, walking through the towering ancestral showcase, and he wagered she was imagining her own portrait hanging there someday.
But the next painting he would commission for this room would be of Madeline, wearing the Hargrave tiara and matching jewels. He could picture them on her perfectly. The diamonds and rubies winking like fire against her creamy skin. The image burned in his mind.
Ethan strolled to the end of the gallery and waved up at one of the larger paintings. “This is my great-grandfather astride his trusty steed before a hunt.”
Madeline’s eyes widened before she convulsed in a coughing fit.
“Are you all right?” he asked, knowing full well she was choking on laughter.
“He looks positively regal,” she managed to say between coughs, her eyes glittering with humor.
The portly gentleman had indulged in far too many feasts, and his mount, if you looked closely enough, appeared pained from the hefty bulk of his rider. Ethan had always liked the painting, thinking the artist clever at having inserted humor in such a discreet way.
“Perhaps I should recreate this very scene in my own portrait,” he mused.
And that’s all it took. Madeline exploded into giggles.
“Madeline!” Her mother looked at Ethan with a horrified expression, but he hardly noticed, unable to take his eyes off Madeline as joy poured from her.
“I’m so sorry, Your Grace. I don’t know what’s come over her,” Mrs. Maybury hurried to apologize for the inappropriateness of her daughter, which only made Madeline laugh harder.
Before he could stop himself, he was laughing with her. Lady Louisa tittered uneasily as she looked between the two of them, clearly missing the jest, but Ethan didn’t care. Madeline was laughing, flushed with happiness—by far the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
He might be unable to ask for her hand tonight, but nothing would stop him from marrying Madeline.
The previous night’s dinner was one of the most miserable, yet wonderful times of Madeline’s life. She hated being on the far side of the table from Ethan, watching Lady Louisa command his attention, while she was stuck on what seemed like the other side of the world. Viscount Brockhurst had been amiable enough, but he paled in comparison to Ethan.
Madeline huffed and rested the book she had unsuccessfully been trying to read on her chest. She lounged against the pillows on her bed, attempting to rest before the ball tonight, as she’d promised her mother she would.
But how could she rest when all she could do was replay the night over and over in her mind? She hadn’t gotten the opportunity to tell Ethan she couldn’t keep company with him any longer, and part of her was glad, because that meant she would still have tonight, up until she had the chance to explain and say goodbye forever.
Would he ask her to dance again?
A shiver of pleasure washed over her, and she finally set the book aside, admitting defeat. She closed her eyes tight, relishing the memory of him leading her to her chair at dinner, the way his hand pressed against her back just before she walked into the gallery, the way his eyes sparkled with mischief, and how he had gone out of his way to ensure she was heard over Lady Louisa’s boasting.
Why was she doing this to herself? The pain of never seeing him again, never seeing that spark of interest in his eyes, felt like a thousand hairpins piercing her heart. Why did it have to hurt so much?
Tears welled in her eyes, and she pushed herself upright in the bed. Choking on her emotions, she willed the despair away. She would not cry over this. She was doing what she had to. She had never been foolish enough to think she would marry for love or anything even resembling it. The most she had hoped for was that some degree of affection would grow after marriage. She couldn’t afford to wait for anything more.
But why did this have to feel so wretched?
I’m not in love with Ethan, she assured herself repeatedly. No one fell in love after a few days, but she couldn’t deny the bond they shared. It couldn’t be explained how it had formed so quickly, how she felt as if their souls had known each other since the beginning of time and were only now getting reacquainted after a long absence.
She’d never had that connection with another, and she doubted she ever would again. It was wonderful, amazing really, but it couldn’t stop her from going after what she desperately needed. And right now, she needed Lady Louisa on her side.
Madeline released a shaky breath. She could do this. She had to do this.
A soft knock sounded at the door to her room, and Madeline scrubbed a hand over her face, searching for stray tears. “Yes?”
Her maid opened the door and bobbed a curtsy. “Your mother would like to see you in the drawing room, miss.”
“Is everything all right?” Usually if her mother wanted to speak with her, she came to Madeline’s room.
“Oh yes, miss. I didn’t mean to worry you. There’s a visitor.”
At this hour? It was almost unheard of for someone to call outside of visiting hours. “Do you know who?”
“I don’t, miss.”
“It’s all right. Thank you. I’ll be down in a moment.”
The woman bobbed another curtsy and left.
Madeline walked over to her looking glass and smoothed out the wrinkles in her skirt. She should change before greeting their guest but didn’t want to bother when she would be changing for the ball in a few hours anyway. Besides, if someone showed up outside of normal hours, they were lucky to be received at all.
Madeline stilled as she thought, Could it be Ethan? He obviously had wanted to talk to her about something the previous night, and it made sense for him to call on her since he had not gotten the opportunity.
Her belly flipped in anticipation, but she immediately tamped it down. There was no reason to get worked up when she didn’t know what he wanted to talk to her about. Regardless, she still needed to tell him she couldn’t see him again.
She shoved a few loose pins back into her coiffure and headed downstairs. As she made her way to the drawing room, she rehearsed what she would tell Ethan, how she could explain it to him so he would understand. Reaching her destination, she stepped into the drawing room with a forced smile and then gasped with surprise.
Recovering quickly, she dipped into a deep curtsy. “Your Grace,” she said, greeting Ethan’s mother.
Her own mother’s worried eyes met hers. “Thank you for joining us, Madeline. Her Grace said she needed to speak with you urgently.”
This was not good. There was only one reason Ethan’s mother would want to speak with her, and Madeline most definitely did not want to have this conversation.
The dowager duchess, wearing black from head to toe, eyed Madeline as if she had grown scales. “I’d like to speak with Miss Maybury alone.”
Her mother squirmed. “But, Your Grace, I think it would be better if—”
“Alone!” she demanded loudly, punctuating her command with a slam of her cane on the floor.
Madeline’s mother looked between her daughter and the older woman with a stubborn frown. Love filled Madeline’s heart, and she attempted a smile. “It’s all right, Mama. She only wants to talk.”
A small flicker of admiration filled the dowager duchess’s eyes, but she remained silent.
Mrs. Maybury rose slowly. “If you’re certain?”
Madeline was definitely not certain, but she had a feeling Ethan’s mother would only become more difficult, and her mother did not need to be subjected to that. Madeline would handle this, just as she would handle her conversation with Ethan this evening.
Madeline nodded encouragingly. “I’ll visit with you after.”
With a nod conveying her
support, her mother left the room, and silence descended as the door closed behind her.
Madeline remained standing, waiting to be addressed, even though she was in her own home. When the woman still didn’t speak, Madeline finally said, “May I offer you a refreshment? Tea, perhaps?”
“I don’t want refreshments, thank you.”
Well, what do you want? she wanted to ask but held her tongue.
“You may sit.”
The command straightened Madeline’s spine. “I prefer to stand.”
“All right. I’m going to make this as brief as possible. You seem like a reasonably smart girl, so I assume you know why I’m here.”
“I have my guesses. Ethan?”
The woman cracked her cane on the floor. “Do not speak of the duke in such a familiar manner.”
“Forgive me,” she said, but didn’t feel contrite in the least, and she knew the dowager duchess could tell. Ethan had given her leave to call him by his Christian name. They were friends, and nothing the duchess could say would change her feelings for him. “What can I do for you?”
“You can stay away from him.”
“That’s an easy enough request.” She had planned on telling Ethan exactly that at the ball tonight.
“Do not mock me!”
Madeline’s chin rose. “I would never do such a thing, Your Grace. Why do you think I would?”
Ethan’s mother turned sharply toward Madeline. “You have your hooks in him. You would be a fool to let him go, but I’m here to warn you that you’ll regret it if you pursue a relationship with him.”
The not-so-veiled threat angered Madeline. In the past week, she’d had another similar threat from Lady Louisa, and she was tired of being pushed around. “I do not have my ‘hooks in him,’ as you so eloquently put it. We are friends, nothing more. I know any relationship between the two of us is imprudent and had planned to tell him that this evening.”
Relief flickered over the woman’s face. “Are you in earnest?”
“I am.”
“Good. You’re smarter than I first thought.” The dowager duchess rose and leaned on her cane in front of Madeline. “It is better this way. Besides being ill-suited, he is set to marry Lady Louisa Tisdale next year.”
Madeline’s heart skipped a beat. That couldn’t be true. “I have not yet read an announcement.”
“It is not official just yet. But my late husband, Lady Louisa’s parents, and I have planned it from their births. The duke will soon see the practicality of the match.”
Pain and jealousy coursed through Madeline, and she spoke before she could stop herself. “I very much doubt that particular union will occur. I’ve never seen two people more unsuited.”
“Thankfully, none of this is any of your concern.”
Madeline pressed her lips closed in a tight line.
“I have your word that you will speak to His Grace tonight? That you will put an end to whatever silly relationship you think you have with him?”
With every sentence spoken, Madeline’s temper boiled higher. “I will make no such promise. I will speak with Ethan, if at all possible, but whatever is said between your son and me is private. You have no authority over me or my choices, and you never will.”
“I will have your word on this. I did not come all this way to leave without assurances.”
Madeline scoffed and stomped to the door. Throwing it open, she only briefly noticed her mother’s shocked gaze on the other side before addressing the dowager duchess again. “Unfortunately, you’ll have to be disappointed.”
Madeline raised her brows, hoping the dowager duchess would argue again.
The older woman sniffed with displeasure. “Perhaps I gave you more credit than you deserved. Clearly, you haven’t the mental capacity to see the importance of this matter.”
“Apparently not,” Madeline said sarcastically.
Without another word, Ethan’s mother stormed past her out the door.
Madeline’s mother bobbed a curtsy and called out to the dowager duchess’s retreating form, “Thank you for calling, Your Grace,” as if the dowager duchess were leaving after a pleasant visit with tea and gossip.
When the butler closed the door behind Ethan’s mother, Madeline laughed hysterically and hugged her mother. “I can’t believe you just did that, calling out as if she were your best friend and not an enemy intent on destruction.”
Her mother chuckled and hugged her in return, then pulled back and looked at Madeline with a serious expression. “I want you to listen to me, Madeline. I know you feel you have to marry well for the family, but nothing would make me happier than to see you marry someone you love, whether the man you love has a title and money or nothing at all. Either way, once you find him and know he loves you in return, you fight for him. Don’t let anyone keep you apart.”
“But I—”
Her mother patted Madeline’s hand. “Just think on it, dear. You don’t need to decide anything now,” she said, then walked away.
Madeline watched her mother until she disappeared from sight. She released a long, frustrated sigh. She was no longer sure what the right decision was or which course she should take. All she knew was that she had to see Ethan.
The Earl of Holbrook’s ball was always the largest of the season, and everyone who mattered was in attendance. But as Madeline looked around the room, scanning hundreds of faces, the one person she wanted to see still hadn’t arrived.
“Where are you, Ethan?” she said under her breath as impatience weighed heavily on her.
After the Duke of Hargrave made a point of dancing with her at the previous ball, it seemed every gentleman wanted to partner her tonight. She scarcely had a chance to catch her breath and finally resorted to begging off dance requests due to all sorts of maladies. She really was getting blisters, though. Her feet were simply not used to such beatings.
Lady Louisa and her flock of followers were present, but the group hadn’t bothered to include her yet, and Madeline wanted to put it off as long as possible. During her first season—and most of her second season—she had watched them with longing, desperately wanting to be a part of the group, and she’d done everything in her power to get there. Now, having accomplished that, it wasn’t anything at all what she had hoped it would be.
For the first time, she wondered if it had ever really been worth it. Was it worth surrendering her free will or her friendship with Ethan for the possibility of landing a titled gentleman with a modest fortune?
Standing among a sea of acquaintances, her gaze almost constantly searching for Ethan, she realized it wasn’t. Nothing was worth giving up what mattered to her.
And Ethan mattered.
At that very moment, he appeared at the ballroom entrance, and her heart skipped a beat. His gaze searched through the crush of people and firmly landed on her, and that was when the truth hit her.
She loved him. She loved Ethan.
She had fallen in love with the one man who was the most unattainable for her, who was so high above her that she’d never have even the slightest chance of marrying him. It was foolish and stupid and would eventually leave her with a broken heart, but she could not walk away from him. So Madeline finally made her decision. She would remain friends with Ethan, regardless of who liked it or not, until he pushed her away himself.
With new determination filling her chest, she took a step toward him, intending to meet him halfway, when Lady Louisa intercepted her. “Miss Maybury, there you are. I’ve been looking for you all evening.”
Bitterness flooded Madeline’s mouth. Lady Louisa had known exactly where she was. “Here I am.”
“Yes.” The other woman made a show of fussing over one of her perfectly manicured nails. “I can see I may not have made myself very clear. You went to dinner at the Hargraves’ last night because His Grace forced you into it, and I can understand how you might have felt unable to refuse, but all further contact with the duke ends now. If you value your futur
e friendship with me at all, you will never so much as speak to him again. Do I make myself clear?”
“I understand you perfectly.” Madeline knew exactly what Lady Louisa expected from her, and while she might have been willing to obey the other woman’s commands previously, Madeline was done with that now—done with her.
A wicked smile curved Lady Louisa’s lips, certain she’d finally put Madeline in her proper place. “Good. Now, I think you’re finished dancing for the rest of the evening, don’t you? You look rather tired and wrung out.”
Madeline drew in a slow, even breath, then flashed her own wicked grin. “I feel quite well actually—perhaps a case of sore feet, but nothing that should keep me from enjoying myself—but I do so appreciate your concern.” Madeline looked beyond Lady Louisa’s shoulder as Ethan approached. “And I do believe my partner for the next set is here.”
Ethan gave her a confused look, no doubt wondering about the change in her while in the presence of Lady Louisa, but kept his mouth shut as he took a final step toward her and held out his arm, more than willing to oblige. Madeline grabbed hold of him quickly, hoping to keep her giggles from bursting out until she was far away from Lady Louisa. The other woman looked spitting mad, like at any moment all the steam billowing beneath the surface would erupt through the top of her head. A giggle managed to escape at that image, then two more giggles followed.
They stepped onto the dance floor, and Ethan leaned in close. “Do I even want to ask what that was all about?”
She simply smiled in response, unable to think straight the moment she felt his warm breath against her cheek. She wanted to move even closer to him, to lean into him while he wrapped his arms around her. It felt like forever ago when she had cornered him in his private sitting room and kissed him. She hadn’t been in his arms since that night, and she desperately wanted to be.
She wanted to kiss the duke again.
Many of the other guests had stopped to watch them, and for the first time, Madeline didn’t mind. She didn’t care that she was on display or that others shot daggers from their eyes. Right now, she was with Ethan, and nothing else mattered.
Falling for a Duke (Timeless Regency Collection Book 8) Page 22