by Sarra Cannon
“Not necessarily,” she said. “Hear me out. The girls at the club were quick to tell you Rend was off-limits, right? They probably all already know what he is and what he’s capable of when he loses control. Only, the thing is, he doesn’t normally lose control. He’s usually the poster-child for control, am I right?”
I shrugged and turned back to the scrambled eggs.
“He’s probably off-limits to most of the women there because he refuses to allow himself to lose control,” she said. “Only, he couldn’t resist you and he went too far.”
Her words sparked the most annoying little feeling of hope deep inside of me.
Part of me desperately wanted to believe that I was nothing special to him. Everything would be so much easier—for both of us—if he saw me as just another witch with delicious blood running through her veins. It was better if I could make myself believe he didn’t care for me. If I could just stay angry with him, my heart was safe.
But hope had sparked and I knew there was nothing I could do to kill it now.
“Couldn’t resist me?” I asked. “Or just couldn’t resist my blood?”
She rolled her eyes and made a clicking sound with her tongue. “How many witches does he work with on a daily basis? How many witches come in and out of that bar every single night? Hundreds? He’s surrounded by the scent of powerful blood every day of his life and somehow, he manages to maintain control. If there wasn’t something different about you, he wouldn’t have had any trouble resisting you.”
I shook my head and sighed. “Maybe I’m different some other way, you know? Maybe my blood is just more potent or something? Why else would this other guy—the Devil—be after me?”
Katy bit her lip. “I don’t know for sure, but he scares me a lot more than Rend does,” she said. “And you’ve never seen him?”
“No, just his lackey or whatever you would call him,” I said. “Rend said the Devil isn’t allowed in his club at all.”
I scooped the finished eggs into a large bowl and doused them in salt. My mind was spinning. I definitely wasn’t expecting Katy to believe me so easily, much less start applying her typical logic to the situation.
“You have to go back there,” she said, sneaking a piece of bacon from the plate I’d set on the counter.
“What? Why?”
“Because, regardless of what happened between you and Rend last night, he’s still your best chance of surviving whatever this other guy has planned for you,” she said. “Plus, you have way too many questions to turn your back on that world so fast.”
I leaned against the counter and nodded. She was right. Life as I knew it was over forever. There was no more denying who—or what—I was. Turning my back on Venom was the same as turning my back on myself. I knew Venom was my best chance at really figuring out who I was and where I came from. I had way too many questions to walk away now.
“What would I do without you?” I asked her, taking a piece of bacon for myself.
Katy smiled and looked up toward the ceiling. “I don’t know. Probably make all the wrong decisions and end up an old maid who never got it on with a hot vampire.”
I threw the rest of my bacon at her, hitting her squarely on the nose. “I did not get it on with a vampire,” I protested.
She laughed and picked up the thrown bacon. She tossed it into her mouth. “Not yet,” she said.
“Not ever,” I mumbled, turning back to grab two plates from the cupboard.
Still, despite my protests, my stomach fluttered.
“I’ll go back,” I said. “But only because I need answers.”
My fingertips traced the outline of the Bandaid on my neck, and I shivered at the thought of someday finishing what Rend and I had started last night.
Would I be so lucky next time? Would I even survive a next time?
I closed my eyes and started the grueling work of cleaning up the mess we’d made of the apartment. Deep inside, I started the more taxing work of rebuilding the wall around my heart. The one Rend had managed to destroy with a single kiss.
Chapter 4
Extreme Restraint
I stood in the drizzling rain outside Venom for a few minutes before going inside.
I felt like the second everyone saw me, they would know. My feelings for Rend would show on my face, and they would all feel sorry for me.
Poor girl. We told her he was off-limits. She really believed she was special.
How humiliating.
And worse than the humiliation of it all, was to be so close to Rend and know I could never be with him. It was going to be torture.
I almost turned around and ran back to the ’L’, but I was determined to be strong. Let them laugh. I deserved it for believing there was something real between us when everyone had warned me against it.
I didn’t care what Katy said. To Rend, I was just another tasty witch. He’d gotten too close and had shown his true nature. End of story. I had to believe that, if I was going to make it through my shift tonight.
A tap on my shoulder made me nearly jump out of my skin. I looked over to see Lyla waving and smiling. My hand flew to my heart.
“You scared me to death,” I said.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I was walking by and saw you standing here like a zombie. Are you coming in? How are you feeling?”
“Yeah. I was totally zoned out there for a second,” I said, laughing it off. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“I wasn’t even expecting to see you here tonight at all,” she said as we made our way across the street to the club’s entrance. “Rend told us you got sick last night and might not be in for a while.”
“He did?” I shouldn’t have been surprised. Of course he would have some kind of explanation ready for when I disappeared and never came back.
But until now, I hadn’t really considered his reaction when he saw me tonight. I’d been thinking so much about what I wanted to do that I hadn’t even thought about what Rend might want. What if he kicked me out and told me he never wanted to see me again?
“Maybe I should go home,” I said, turning back toward the train. “If Rend isn’t expecting me in tonight—”
Lyla grabbed my arm and pulled me back toward the club’s entrance. “Oh, hush. He’ll be so glad you’re here,” she said. “I know I am. We could really use the extra help now that Amber’s been flaking out on us.”
“I thought she’s only been gone a couple nights?”
Lyla shrugged. “Yeah, but even two nights is too many,” she said. “I haven’t had a night off in at least five years.”
“You’re here every night?” I asked. “Like, always?”
“Of course,” she said. “Everyone’s here every night. Once you start working here, it becomes home, in a way.”
I had never heard anyone say they didn’t get a night off from their job every once in a while. The club was fun, but it wasn’t easy being on your feet every night, having to always be on for the crowd.
Selena, the bouncer, said hey to us as we walked in, but her eyes lingered on me. I thought I detected a hint of anger there, but before I could stop to ask her about it, Lyla pulled me inside.
“Did Rend tell you guys why he hired me?” I asked Lyla as we headed back to the dressing rooms.
“Why do you ask that?” Lyla turned to me and put her hand on my wrist.
“I was just curious to know if he explained why someone who obviously knows almost nothing about your world was given a job here.”
She smiled and squeezed my wrist. “Honey, everyone who works here was hired for the same reason.”
“What reason is that?”
She twisted her mouth into a frown and shrugged. “We had nowhere else to turn and he was the only one who could save us.”
She turned and walked through the black curtain, leaving me to wonder what kind of trouble always led people to him. And why Rend—a vampire—felt it was his job to save them.
To save us.
>
Back in my apartment, he’d said he was dangerous. But why would someone so dangerous go to such great lengths to save so many?
“You made it,” Azure said from behind me. “I wasn’t expecting you in again tonight.”
Her disappointment was obvious.
“Well, I’m here,” I said.
“Lovely.”
I wanted to ask her what her problem was with me, but I already knew. It was obvious she had a thing for Rend. I had no idea if she had ever acted on those feelings or not, but she definitely had feelings for him.
After she’d seen me coming out of his doorway yesterday morning wearing his shirt, she had every right to assume something had happened between us. That was enough to make me the enemy. I couldn’t really blame her, because truth be told, if I walked in here tomorrow and saw her wearing his shirt, I’d want to claw her eyes out. Azure was acting with extreme restraint, considering the circumstances.
I wanted to tell her she had nothing to worry about. Rend wasn’t interested in me the way I thought, after all, but there was no use explaining it to her or anyone. They would see for themselves soon enough.
I followed Lyla through the black curtain and into the dressing rooms.
“You okay?” Shay asked as she came in the room and nearly ran straight into me.
“She’s fine,” Lyla called out with a laugh. “Just give her some space. I think she’s a little overwhelmed. I found her outside just now, staring at the entrance like she wasn’t sure she wanted to come inside.”
“Hey, you girls remember how tough the first few nights were for us, right?” Cherish said. She walked over and put her arms around me with a tight squeeze. “And we had all known about magic and demons and witches for most of our lives. I can’t imagine what it must be like for you to find out this world exists, and then get thrown into it all at once.”
“You’re doing great, hon,” Shay said.
“If you need anything, you just let us know,” Peri said.
I sat down at the makeup station I’d used yesterday and tugged at the scarf I’d wrapped around my neck before I left the apartment.
“There is one thing you can do,” I said.
“Anything,” Lyla said.
I swiveled around in my chair and took a deep breath. “Teach me how to do a glamour.”
Chapter 5
Tapping Into It
The five dancers rushed over and gathered around me.
“I have been dying for you to ask us about this,” Shay said. She ran her hand down my straight black hair. “What do you want to look like? Have you given it some thought?”
I squirmed in my chair. I didn’t expect them to all come running over like we were at some girly sleepover or something.
“Oh, gosh, I don’t know,” I said. I studied myself in the mirror. There was really only one thing I wanted to get rid of—two bite marks on my neck. But, I knew I’d better come up with something more creative. “I was thinking about making my eyes green instead of blue for a change. Maybe wearing something to match?”
“Yes,” Lyla said. She actually giggled with excitement. “I know the perfect outfit.”
She went over to the rack of clothes and pulled out a little green... I honestly don’t even know what to call it. It was like a silky one-piece leotard with a slit running all the way up the front.
I swallowed, my palms growing sweaty.
“I might need an entirely new body to pull that off.”
Lyla rolled her eyes. “Pshh. You’re perfect,” she said. “Besides, you wear it with this.”
She held up a small black sequined bandeau top that didn’t make me feel one bit better.
“Your eyes will be so pretty that color of green,” Misty said. She had chosen a bright pink halter top and the world’s shortest skirt for herself tonight.
“All you have to do is find a way to connect to the power deep inside yourself,” Shay said. She sat down in the chair next to mine and crossed both palms over her heart. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. On the third breath, her hair changed from a deep red color to a black as dark as mine. When she opened her eyes, they were exactly the same color of green as the outfit Lyla was holding.
I blew out, releasing the air from my lungs in a moment of pure awe. “Wow, that completely changes the way you look,” I said. “But I have no idea how to connect to my power. What does that feel like?”
“It feels like finding your true self,” Peri said, coming around to lean against the counter beside me. “Like dipping your fingers into some secret well of magical energy that lives inside you.”
I raised an eyebrow. That sounded wonderfully vague. A secret well inside me? How the hell was I supposed to recognize that? Or connect to it?
“I still can’t believe your mama didn’t teach you all this growing up,” Shay said, shaking her head.
“My mom wasn’t exactly the nurturing type,” I said. I left it at that and hoped they wouldn’t bring her up again. I didn’t want to get started on just how not-nurturing my mother really was. “Okay, so I close my eyes and breathe in. Then I put my hands on my heart.”
“It doesn’t have to be your heart,” Lyla said. “I usually just place my hands on my legs, palm-up. Just do whatever feels natural and relaxing for you.”
I closed my eyes and placed my hands over my heart, but it was hard to concentrate knowing five other girls were staring at me, expecting something magical to happen. I tried to take a few deep breaths, but started laughing instead.
“I can’t,” I said. “Not with you goons watching me like that.”
Shay laughed and grabbed my hand. “Here,” she said. “Come sit here in the middle of the room. Peri, turn off the lights. Misty, can you give us some mood lighting?”
Shay grabbed a big blanket from a couch in the back of the dressing room and spread it out across the floor. She pointed for me to sit down, so I did, cross-legged with my back straight. Lyla sat across from me and took my hands in hers. She placed them palm-up against my knee, then took a deep breath.
“Breathe with me,” she said. “Just like this.”
I felt stupid at first, but was touched at how hard they were all trying to help me understand this type of magic. Peri switched the lights off, throwing the room into complete darkness. A moment later, Misty conjured a very light pink orb of light that she sent up into the air above our heads like a solitary star.
“Close your eyes,” Shay whispered. “Try to search for a spark of something deep inside, like a warmth in the distance. An energy. Trust me, you’ll recognize it when you feel it.”
I sighed, wondering if I’d ever get the hang of this. Lyla nudged me with her knee, and I closed my eyes, determined to give it one more try.
I inhaled, concentrating on the flow of air as it passed into my body and made its way deep down into my lungs and beyond. I focused only on the breath at first, as I had learned to do as such a young girl. Back then, my mother had taught me this technique as a way to control my power and to hold it at bay, not as a way to connect with it and use it.
But as I breathed, I did start to feel a warm energy pulsing in my core. It was like a separate heartbeat alive inside me. I imagined dipping my fingers into that power, tapping into it.
I gasped as the energy blossomed, expanding from that single point until chill bumps formed on my skin and my eyelids fluttered. Around me, the other girls stirred, but someone shushed them.
“Now, picture the color of green you want,” Shay said. “Imagine your own eyes are that exact color. Concentrate on it as hard as you can, filling your eyes with that color until they’re saturated with it.”
I did exactly as she said, imagining it so clearly in my mind’s eye. A pulse of energy warmed my eyelids and I opened my eyes in surprise. “I think I messed it up,” I said in a whisper. “Shit.”
Lyla bit her lip and smiled. “No, you didn’t,” she said, clapping. “Go look.”
I stood and walke
d over to the mirror. I pressed my face close and opened my eyes wide, hardly able to believe what I was seeing.
My eyes were the perfect shade of green.
Chapter 6
Back To Business
Before I removed the scarf around my neck, I performed a second, more secret, glamour.
I imagined the skin on my neck to be smooth and perfect, hiding all evidence of a vampire’s bite. When I unraveled the scarf a few moments later, I sucked in a grateful breath. I had done it.
“How long do these glamours last?” I asked Lyla as I changed into the green outfit she’d laid out for me.
“It depends on your skill and level of magic ability,” she said. “One of my glamours typically lasts about twelve hours if I want it to, but for someone new like you, I’d guess about four hours tops unless you redo it.”
Four hours. That should be enough to get me through enough of my shift. I could take a break if I needed to and freshen the glamour later.
“You did great, by the way,” she said, giving me a little hug. “I know you don’t really like to talk about your mom, but it’s going to be okay. Not all witches grow up with moms who will teach them how to use their magic. You can still learn how to control it now. I can help, if you want.”
I smiled and squeezed her hand. “Thanks, I’d really appreciate that.”
I wasn’t even sure what other kinds of magic were available to me, but I knew that if I hoped to have a chance at surviving whatever the Devil had planned for me, I’d be better off learning how to fight instead of how to change my eye color. I’d have to figure out a way to ask her what she knew about fighting, later. Now didn’t seem like the right time.
“You want another shot of Dragon’s Breath?” she asked, holding out a tube of liquid.
“No, thanks,” I said. “I need all my wits about me tonight.”
She studied me. “What really happened last night?” she asked. “One minute we were outside and you seemed fine, and the next you were gone and Rend said you had gone home sick. Was it the shot that made you sick?”