by Unknown
I looked up at her, but my eyes were so watery that I couldn't see her. I had to blink several times to clear them up.
"He must think I'm a total nutjob."
Ella sat down on the floor next to me, which was impressive given her strong aversion to germs and general dirtiness, and put her arm around my shoulder. My shoulders stiffened in response. I didn't normally like being touched. Ella didn't seem to notice. "If he thought you were a nutjob he wouldn't have almost kissed you."
"He didn't almost…"
"Yes, he did." Ella cut me off firmly. "I thought something like that might happen if you two could spend some time alone. That's why I pretended to not have a working key."
My mouth dropped open in shock. "You had a key the whole time? You did this on purpose?"
"Not the sketchbook part, but the rest of it, yes."
Ella rested her head on my shoulder and it felt nice to be comforted. I thought about what Jake had said; how I rejected people before they could reject me. Ella wouldn't reject me. She was here with me, caring about me. Even when I had resented her or felt jealous of her, she hadn't changed. She still loved me and wanted a relationship with me. I let myself relax into her hug.
I had also started to doubt my own instincts because while it seemed like Jake would kiss me, and despite what Ella thought, he hadn't and then my world exploded with a nuclear mortification bomb.
"So, any ideas about what we're going to do with Mercedes?"
Jake had told me that Mercedes had given him the book. I had been so focused on the fact that he had the sketchbook that I completely blanked the part where that horrible wench had given it to him. She must have stolen it in study hall. Such a foul and heinous thing to do, that I couldn't even think of something that would make Mercedes understand how badly she had made me feel.
"I'm guessing breaking into her house and burning all of her clothes on the lawn is out of the question?"
Ella nodded and said, "Personally, I think you don't have to worry about this. Mercedes has always wanted Jake. She's only with Scott to be close to Jake."
"Did she tell you that?"
"Of course not. But I could tell. So the absolute best revenge you could have on her is to be with Jake. But in order for that to happen, you have to put this behind you. Pretend like it's no big deal. Don't bring it up, and if he does, just act like it's nothing."
She made sense. It was logical, even. But logic and I were not currently on speaking terms. I wasn't sure I could do it. "I don't think I can ever face him again. How can I get into a car with him tomorrow morning and not obsess about this?"
"That's easy enough." She pulled out her phone and typed something quickly before putting it back in her purse. "There. I texted Jake to tell him I'm borrowing your dad's car and driving you tomorrow and we'd see him at school."
"I'm going to see him eventually. I will have to talk to him. We're not done with our project for English yet." I held my arms straight out. "I'm still wearing his letterman's jacket!"
She put both of her hands on my shoulders and turned me toward her. "You listen to me, Tilly Lowe. You are one of the strongest people I know. You will be fine. You will act like this is all just silly. And above all, you will never, ever let stupid Mercedes Bentley know how much this affected you. Got it?"
Wow, so much for the meek and demure Ella. "Got it."
"Now you're going to get up off this disgusting bathroom floor and come home with me and help me decide what to wear tonight because I have a kind-of-date with Trent."
I had totally forgotten about her Pepperdine wannabe poet reading with Trent. I was so focused on my drama that I wasn't being a very good sister to her despite all the things she kept doing for me.
And she was right. I was stronger than this. I would get up off that floor, and I would pretend like none of this bothered me. I definitely didn't want to give Mercedes the satisfaction of knowing she'd hurt me.
And things had been going so well with Jake. I couldn't freak out and ignore him and give in to my girl drama. I would be confident and fine, no matter how I felt inside.
Starting now.
I gave Ella a smile. "Sounds good. Let's go home and get you ready for that date."
I figured at least one of us should be happy.
* * *
I lay on Ella's bed, and it looked like her closet had thrown up all over her room. Or like the local Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe stores had brought over their entire inventory and tossed it on Ella's floor. Normally I would have been doodling in my sketchbook, but I couldn't imagine doing that again in the foreseeable future. Instead I had my phone out while I played Angry Birds.
I didn't know why she wanted my opinion. Everything, and I mean everything, she put on her looked amazing. Like she was about to walk the runway for Ralph Lauren. I told her that, but she didn't believe me.
"Not this one either. Why is everything I own so hideous?"
I realized that Ella was nervous. I didn't think I'd ever seen her nervous about anything before and it was kind of ridiculous. I mean, it was just Trent.
I shook my head at her irrational behavior. Until the proverbial light bulb went off in my head and I saw what I had missed.
Ella liked Trent. Really liked him. I remembered our conversation from last week when she'd told me that she liked someone that was not Jake.
"Is Trent the guy you were interested in?"
She had been holding a dress up against her in the mirror and she froze, her reflection staring at me. Suddenly everything felt serious and ominous.
Finally she said, "Yes."
"Why didn't you just tell me that?"
Ella let the dress fall to the floor with the others and came over to sit on the foot of her bed. She looked down at her hands while she fiddled with her charm bracelet. "I never said anything because I thought you guys were together and I didn't want to be that girl." She sounded so earnest, and so apologetic.
"The girl who's interested in her stepsister's boyfriend?" I asked her sarcastically before she started giggling about the irony of the entire thing.
Well, if nothing else, I guess it gave us something in common. "Even if Trent had been my boyfriend, I'm pretty sure I would have traded him for Jake in a New York minute."
That made Ella laugh more, and broke the uneasy tension. She jumped off the bed to go back to finding something to wear.
I started up a new game and said, "You know, Trent's not going to care what you're wearing. He's not like that."
Ella emerged from her closet with another potential outfit. "You're right. That's one of the things I think I like best about him. I always feel comfortable with him. I get to just be me and not have to worry about how I look or what I say. I am being so dumb."
Without even looking in the mirror, Ella put on the pink pleated skirt she had in her hands and looked around for a matching top. I remembered that day in the family room when I saw them together on the couch, how Ella had her hair up in a bun with her glasses on and her purple Juicy sweats. I'd never seen her look that way when she spent time with Jake.
I had put a ban on all internal thoughts about Jake, but that one just slid in. Which, predictably, led me to more thoughts of Jake. And how I'd never honestly worried about how I looked around Jake. I accepted the fact that I looked the way I looked and while I may have stressed a little over my outfit that first car ride, I'd never given it a second thought since. Jake had the same effect on me that Trent had on Ella.
I wanted it to mean something, even if it didn't.
My dad called for Ella. She yelled back that she was coming.
"Did you hear the doorbell?" she asked in a panicked voice.
"Relax, you'll be fine. He's not here yet."
Ella leaned against her closet doorframe, staying there for a minute before she picked out her shoes. "I just really like him, you know?"
Yeah, I did know.
"I'd go with the glass slippers," I said before heading off to the kitchen to find something
to eat. My dad sat at the kitchen table, holding an envelope in his hands.
"Where's Ella?"
Before I could reply, Ella said in an out-of-breath voice, "I'm here. What's up?" She went over to the fridge to pull out a bottled water.
"I have something for you." I saw the twinkle in my dad's eye, heard the pride in his voice. Whatever it was, this was big. He held the envelope up in the air. "It's from UCLA."
That was Ella's dream school. She grabbed the refrigerator door handle so hard, her knuckles went white. "It's a small envelope. That means no," she said in a voice barely louder than a whisper.
My dad pushed his chair back and walked over to her. "That's just a myth. Open it."
She kept staring at the envelope like he was offering her an eel or something (have I ever mentioned how much I hate eels? Slippery, slimy scary looking things).
She shook her head. "I can't."
"I'll open it for you then." My dad had like no boundaries. "Dear Ms. Christensen…"
I held my breath. Ella looked like she might faint. He just stood there, scanning the rest of the letter.
"Read it out loud!" I protested.
A big grin broke out on his face. "Congratulations! It is our pleasure to offer you admission to UCLA for the fall quarter."
He didn't get to finish the rest of the letter because Ella started shrieking and jumping up and down, and then I was screaming and jumping up and down while holding her hands, and for that moment, everything was right in the world.
Then we hugged my dad, who neither jumped nor screamed.
"I am so proud of you," he said as he hugged both of us. "So how much?"
Ella let go. "What?"
Dad tossed the letter and envelope on the table and went to get himself a celebratory drink. Which, because he was on some Hollywood juice cleanse, was some disgusting concoction of grass, carrots, bark and a fruit I couldn't even identify. "The tuition. I set up an account in your name for tuition, books, dorms and whatever other incidentals you need. I just need to make certain we've got enough in there. It's been a few years since I was at UCLA."
"You don't have to pay for my college, Bill. I am so grateful to you for taking me in and I've tried my best to contribute, but you're not responsible for me."
"Of course I am," he said with a tone that made it sound like she'd just said something insane. "You're my daughter."
"Stepdaughter," she quietly responded.
He stopped putting the ingredients into the blender and turned to look at her. "Does that matter to you?"
Ella said nothing, but I could see the way she trembled, saw her blinking quickly. I knew what that meant. I went over and held her hand. She gripped me tightly. Dad walked over and took her other hand.
"Because it never mattered to me. You're my daughter just as much as Tilly is. I've been your dad since you were two years old. That's never going to change. I probably don't tell you enough, but I love you. Because no matter how grown up you get, you're always going to be my little girl."
A flood of tears streamed down Ella's face as he pulled her into a hug. He rocked her gently, trying to shush her crying. She said something, but was crying so hard I couldn't tell what it was. Feeling like an intruder, I tried to tiptoe out of the kitchen.
I felt guilty that I hadn't said anything earlier to my dad about Ella's crazy ideas involving cleaning the house and having a job and paying her own way, but in my defense, I was my father's daughter and was sometimes easily distracted.
"I don't think so," my dad said as he tugged on my arm and pulled me to him. "I love you too, you know."
Gah, he was such a sentimental sap.
But I let him hug me anyway.
The emotional lovefest came to an end when the doorbell rang.
Ella snapped her head back. "That's Trent! I must look like a mess!"
"I'll answer the door and keep him company while you finish getting ready," I told her.
She hugged me again and I decided I was tired of getting hugged that day. My grouchiness lifted though when Ella whispered into my ear, "This is like the best day ever."
And for once, I didn't envy her.
I let Trent in and we hung out in the living room. He seemed nervous and distracted just like Ella had been. He obviously liked her back. He was having a hard time paying attention to what I said. I decided to mess with him.
"So once the aliens let me go, I decided to make a documentary about my abduction."
"That's great," he said. "Wait, what?"
Before I could mock him, Ella entered the room. Trent jumped to his feet and grinned at her. "You look, uh, nice."
She looked like a freaking model. Nice was kind of an understatement.
A small pang of jealousy crept up on me. They both looked so happy. They weren't playing any games or pretending like anything else was going on. They just liked each other and they were going to go out and probably have a fantastic time with those whiny college brats.
"Well, you two have fun."
But Ella being Ella, she stopped me before I left the room. "Are you going to be okay?"
So selfless. "Tonight is about you. Don't worry about me."
Trent had gone out to the hallway and opened the front door. "Promise me you won't obsess about stupid Mercedes. I think the worst is over."
I should have told her to knock on wood.
Chapter 13
I don't know what time she got home, but the next morning on our way to school, Ella bubbled over with excitement as she described her date with Trent in excruciating detail. It made me feel like I had actually been there. Which was kind of creeping me out.
We pulled into the mostly empty parking lot. Ella wanted to record the announcement spot and for us to put up some more posters. I wasn't sure that there was any blank wall space left, but she was determined.
Dad had lent us his car, and Ella had put our posters in the back. She picked them up and started looking around.
"What's going on?"
"I swear I put a bag in the car that had a bunch of sticky-tack in it. I don't see it."
I looked in the backseat and on the floor and didn't see it either.
She sighed. "I need that. I'll have to go home and get it."
"Wait, so you just want me to go to the recording studio by myself to wait for Jake?"
"You can face him. But if you're being a coward, you can go hide in a bathroom. I'll text you when I get back."
The cowardly way sounded very appealing. I went through the school's front doors and noted the absolute silence before stopping short.
Every single wall was covered with copies of all of my Jake pictures. The breeze I caused by opening the doors made the ones in the hallway ruffle before settling back down. They were in every color imaginable; every picture I had ever drawn of him up there on the walls for every kid in school to see.
I grabbed one off the wall. Someone had circled my signature in the bottom right corner. At the top of the pictures it said, "Even Mattie Lowe wants you to vote for Jake Kingston."
The breath in my throat solidified and I felt like I was choking. I started ripping the posters off as fast as I could. My heart pounded in my chest, and a million cold, slithering snakes wound themselves into knots inside of my stomach.
Who did this?
How would I get them all down before school started and everyone saw my pictures? I mean, it was bad enough Jake had already seen them. It was like someone had posted pages of my diary up. Like they'd ripped my heart out of my chest and tacked it on the wall.
I would never get these off the wall in time. With fumbling hands I pulled out my cell phone. It took me forever to send a text to Ella explaining what had happened because I kept pressing the wrong keys. I told her to get Trent and come to school as soon as possible, that we had an emergency on our hands.
I continued yanking the pictures off the wall until I heard someone say, "What do you think you're doing? I spent a lot of time putting those up."<
br />
Whirling around, I found myself face to face with Mercedes Bentley. "You did this?"
She looked at me smugly, and her expression reminded me of the snake we'd had as a class pet in second grade. Cold, vicious and predatory.
"What is wrong with you?"
"Wrong with me? I'm not the one everybody makes fun of. You're so pathetic with your little crush. Jake knows how you feel about him. Do you think he's your friend? Do you think he actually likes you?" With every word she said, she took a step closer to me. She let out a little laugh. "So, so sad. I'll be honest with you since nobody else will be. Jake is using you. He's not over Ella."
"He said he was over her."
She laughed again. "Aw, did he tell you that he was? That he never really liked her? That's what he told us he'd say. He laid out his whole plan for us. All he cares about is getting back together with her, and he's using you to do it. And by the time he's finished with you, you'll be so heartbroken that running for president will be the last thing on your sad little mind."
A hot, burning sensation filled my entire body with rage. "Jake would never…"
"How do you know what Jake would do? I've spent every day with him and Scott for years. You've talked to him how many times? I am telling you that he is using you and we're all having a good laugh about how badly you've fallen for it. You should try and have some self-respect. Stay away from Jake."
She stomped off, and I had the strongest urge to curl up in a ball on the floor and stay that way. It hurt to breathe.
But I wasn't going to let her beat me. I wouldn't lie down and die. She wouldn't win. I wouldn't start thinking about what she said and let her mess with my mind. I sent Ella an updated text to tell her what had happened.
She immediately responded with:
Evil wench! Three will be he'll to pay.
That made no sense.
What?
Her reply came quickly.
Stupid auto-correct! Hang on, we're almost there.
I kept tearing down posters, keeping them in a large stack. I didn't want to put them down for fear they'd blow all over the floor. A few minutes later Ella and Trent burst through the door and surveyed the situation. They quickly got to work without saying a word. Not only had Mercedes put them all over the hallway, but on every locker on the first floor. Trent ran upstairs to check things out there; but it was clean.