“I have to do something,” she insisted. “I have to put an end to this before things get any worse.”
“What can you do that won’t make it worse?” Peyton asked.
“He’s right,” Jason said. “If you call Forsythe, you’ll be giving him exactly the information he needs to print another item.”
Because even she could see that there wasn’t much she could do about any of it, Beth finally sighed heavily and sat down. Jason regarded her warily, then stood.
“Chocolate?” he asked, his expression filled with concern.
“As much as the vending machine has,” she said, feeling defeated. Even if the vending machine had been filled just that morning, it probably wouldn’t be enough. She reached for her purse.
“No, I’ll buy,” Jason said. “I feel responsible for setting off this chocolate attack.”
“I’ll chip in, too,” Peyton said, tossing a few dollar bills to Jason.
“I’m depressed, not suicidal,” Beth said, a faint flicker of amusement sneaking in at their sudden show of protectiveness. “Besides, maybe we should use some of that money to buy up all the newspapers in the machines around the hospital.”
“Too late for that,” Peyton said. “The way the rumor mill fires up in this place, it takes only one person with the inside scoop to have the news spread far and wide by lunchtime.”
Beth scowled at his bleak outlook, but she knew he was right. The only news medium faster than the hospital grapevine was CNN.
Jason was already loping off toward the vending machine when she called after him. “Bring me chips, too.”
Peyton regarded her worriedly. “Chips? You never eat chips.”
“I’m feeling reckless.”
“Junk food is not the answer,” he scolded, looking more like his somber self.
“Any idea what might be?”
“That depends.”
“On?”
“Whether you’re in love with Mack Carlton.”
Shocked that a man so totally absorbed in his work might have taken note of the attraction, she felt compelled to deny it. “Of course I’m not in love with Mack,” she said, though her protest wasn’t nearly as fierce as it had been the night before.
Peyton shook his head. “Not convincing, Beth. For it to be believable, you must sound certain, not miserable.”
“Why do I have to convince you?”
His lips twitched. “Not me. Yourself.”
Ah, Beth thought. He had a point. She wasn’t buying her own protests anymore, either.
Mack was seething when he saw the gossip column that someone on the team’s administrative staff had thoughtfully left on his desk first thing this morning. Beth was going to be fit to be tied. He could sympathize, but at least he was used to seeing his name in the paper. He’d become accustomed to the half-truths and innuendoes that made up a column like Pete For-sythe’s. He’d learned to shrug it off as a cost of celebrity. Beth wouldn’t have any such defense mechanisms.
It didn’t matter that her name hadn’t been mentioned. It was only a matter of time before it would be. Too many people could fill in that particular blank. He hadn’t realized how much he valued the lack of media attention vis-à-vis this relationship until now, when his peace and quiet were being threatened.
He picked up the phone and tried Beth’s office. He left a voice mail on her machine, then beeped her. It was ten minutes before she finally returned his call, ten of the longest minutes of his life that left him wondering if she was too furious to ever speak to him again.
“I’m sorry,” he said the instant he heard her voice and the edginess in it. “I should have warned you something like this could happen.”
She sighed. “I should have known,” she said. “After all, isn’t that the column where I spotted your name all the time? That’s how I formed my rather jaundiced view of you.”
“Maybe so, but I’d thought we were being discreet. I never wanted to drag you into the spotlight.”
“Not your fault,” she said.
To his relief, she sounded sincere. She wasn’t blaming him. “Thank you,” he said.
“For?”
“Letting me off the hook. I probably don’t deserve it.”
“Look, Mack, I know we’ve been discreet, but it’s not as if we’ve never been anywhere at all together. We’ve just avoided your usual haunts in prime time, so to speak. We should have expected something like this to happen sooner or later.”
“I can’t get over the fact that you’re not more upset.”
“At you? No. I’m not crazy about this, believe me. Jason and Peyton had to buy all the chocolate in the vending machine to calm me down, but they’ve finally convinced me it could have been much worse.”
“It could still get worse,” Mack warned her. “Once Forsythe’s on the scent of a scoop, he can be relentless. Ask Melanie to fill you in on the role he played in her relationship with Richard.”
“Actually, now that you mention it, I remember that. I wonder who put Forsythe onto this particular scent,” Beth asked. “I’m a boring doctor, not your usual high-profile date.”
“Which is exactly why he probably finds it so intriguing,” Mack told her, then was suddenly struck by something that was so obvious, he should have suspected it right off. “Damn!”
“What?”
“Look, I’ll see you later, okay? There’s something I need to do right now.”
“What’s so important that you don’t want to finish this conversation?” she asked, her voice filled with suspicion.
“I’m going to have a chat with Forsythe’s informed source,” he said grimly.
“You know who spilled the beans?” Beth demanded
“Not with absolutely certainty,” he said. “But I’d give you Vegas odds I can name the culprit in one guess.”
“Who?”
“Destiny, of course.”
“She wouldn’t,” Beth said, sounding genuinely shocked.
“Darling, this is vintage Destiny. She’s been stirring our particular pot for weeks now. After last night’s dinner, she’s obviously decided it needs a little something to spice it up a notch. Pete Forsythe has been her chosen messenger before. Hell, she probably has his private fax number memorized after spilling all those juicy little tidbits about Richard and Melanie to him.”
“Are you serious? She was behind those?”
“Oh, yes, and proud of it,” Mack said. “You know the expression ‘All’s fair in love and war’? Well, Destiny thinks she’s fighting a war for romance. Believe me, Forsythe’s column is just one of her weapons of choice.”
“Are you going over there?”
“The instant we hang up.”
“Pick me up on your way,” she said. “I want a piece of this. I have more at stake than you do.”
Mack laughed at her out-for-blood tone. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
“I’ll be out front,” she said, then hung up.
“Oh, Destiny,” Mack murmured, not even bothering to hide his anticipation. “You have really gone and stepped in it this time.”
For once, he wasn’t going to have to say a single word to his aunt about her meddling. He could sit back and let Beth do all the dirty work. Damn, this was going to be more fun than watching a couple of sexy women get down and dirty in the mud.
Unfortunately, Destiny Carlton was nowhere to be found. Beth’s frustration grew with every call Mack made on his cell phone only to be told that he’d just missed his aunt.
“She’s lying low,” he finally concluded.
“Smart woman,” Beth said with a trace of admiration. Destiny was clearly a worthy adversary. No doubt that was why her nephews hadn’t succeeded in foiling her meddling yet.
“Want to have lunch?” Mack asked.
“In public?” she responded, not even attempting to hide her horror at the prospect.
He chuckled. “Oh, I think I can pull it off so that we don’t get caught by the paparazzi.�
�
“How?”
“Watch a master at work,” he said, making a few calls, then heading through Washington’s crowded roads at a pace few race-car drivers would have attempted. He turned into a back alley, pulled up beside an unmarked door and told her to sit tight. “I’ll be right back.”
Beth looked around warily. “Are you sure it’s safe here?”
“From everything except rats, most likely,” he said,
She shuddered. “Hurry.”
“Five minutes,” he promised.
The entire time he was gone—which seemed like an eternity—Beth’s gaze darted in every direction, on the lookout for lurking dangers. To her relief he was back before she’d spotted so much as a rodent of any kind. The aromas drifting from the cooler he was carrying were worth all the moments of anxiety she’d suffered.
“Garlic,” she whispered happily. “Tomatoes. Oh, my God, what did you get? There was no sign over that door you slipped through.”
“The best pasta you will ever put in your mouth,” he told her. “Your place?”
She sniffed greedily even as she nodded. “And step on it,” she told him. “My mouth is watering.”
Mack gave her a sideways glance. “I gather Italian food ranks right up there with chocolate on your personal aphrodisiac scale.”
“Oh, yes.”
“Does this mean I’m going to get lucky this afternoon?” he inquired, his expression hopeful.
Beth considered the proposition for about fifteen seconds. “If there’s time,” she said conscientiously. “I do have to get back to work, you know. Peyton and Jason are covering for me now, but at some point people might start to wonder why I’m not on duty.”
Mack took the corner on two wheels and was parked behind her town house in three minutes flat.
“Ever consider trying out for NASCAR?” she asked as she got out, still clutching the cooler.
“Nah, too tame,” he teased. “I like the challenge of maneuvering through rush hour.”
“You just like a challenge, period,” she guessed.
“That, too.”
Even as she put the food on the kitchen table, she studied him closely. “Is that what I am, Mack? A challenge?”
Rather than the flip response she’d anticipated, he seemed to take the question seriously. “Not the way you mean,” he said eventually.
“How, then?”
“I’m not sure I can explain.”
Because his serious expression and tone told her this could be really important, she met his gaze. “Try,” she said.
His expression turned thoughtful, and he took his time answering. “Okay, here’s what I think. It’s never been about winning your heart or getting you into bed just to prove I could,” he told her. His gaze met hers. “In some weird way it’s been about seeing just how involved I dared to get before the panic set in.”
Beth wasn’t sure how to take that, wasn’t even sure she fully understood it. “And?”
He regarded her with a hint of surprise in his eyes. It was there in his voice, too. “Hasn’t happened yet,” he admitted.
Beth’s heart beat unsteadily at what he wasn’t saying. “Why do you suppose that is?”
Mack sighed then and finally looked away. “I don’t know, Beth. I honestly don’t know, but I will tell you this.” He once again looked directly into her eyes. “Considering the possibilities scares the hell out of me.”
Try as she might, Beth couldn’t shake that conversation as she went about her duties at the hospital that afternoon. What was Mack most afraid of? That she was winning his heart, despite all the defenses he’d erected around it? Or that even after all of the incredible sex and growing intimacy, he was incapable of feeling anything more?
Forget Mack for a minute. What did she want? The lines on that had blurred a lot lately, too. If only Destiny hadn’t planted that stupid item with Pete Forsythe. It was going to force them out into the real world before either of them was ready. And the real world had a way of taking the edge off the excitement, a way of stripping away pretenses and forcing an examination of the core feelings behind an involvement.
Wasn’t that what had happened to her before? That grant application, which had brought the real world smack into the middle of her relationship, had exposed wounds and clashing egos in a way that might otherwise never have happened. Not that she wasn’t grateful now to have made the discovery about her ex-fiancé’s competitiveness, insecurities and cruelty before they married, but it had been a bitter blow at the time.
She was very much afraid that her relationship with Mack wouldn’t weather this current storm any more smoothly.
When she opened the door to Tony’s room, she was surprised to find Mack there. She thought he’d left after dropping her off, but there he was, leafing through a comic book while Tony slept.
“Heavy reading?” she teased. “I’m beginning to think that’s why you keep coming around—because it gives you an excuse to read all those comics.”
“Afraid not,” he said, his gaze steady on hers. “You keep me coming around, Doc. I thought you understood that after the conversation we had earlier.”
She opened her mouth to respond, then caught a flicker of Tony’s eyelids that suggested he was playing possum and listening to every word. “We’ll finish this conversation later,” she told Mack.
“Aw, come on, Dr. Beth, it was just getting good,” Tony protested, opening his eyes.
Mack whirled around to stare at him. “I thought you were asleep.”
“I was, but then I woke up,” Tony said. He grinned impishly at Mack. “I knew you liked Dr. Beth. I could tell. I even told my mom.”
“You know, kid, my love life is none of your business,” Mack scolded.
“Why not?” Tony asked. “I thought we were all friends.”
“We are, but most adults like to figure things out for themselves,” Beth told him.
“But you guys are taking way too long,” Tony said.
“Says who?” Mack asked.
Tony gave him a feisty look. “Says me. You know I don’t exactly have forever.”
Tony uttered the horrific words with a blithe acceptance of the reality, but Mack looked as if someone had slugged him. Even Beth was taken aback by Tony’s matter-of-fact statement about his own prospects.
“You don’t know that,” she said fiercely, struggling against the tears stinging her eyes. She could not cry in front of Tony, or in front of Mack, for that matter. “I will not let you give up on yourself.”
Tony reached her hand. “It’s okay, Dr. Beth. I don’t blame you.”
“That’s not the point. You are going to get better, Tony. You need to believe that.”
Tony gave her a stubborn look. “It’s not like I want to die,” he said seriously. “But sometimes you just gotta face facts.”
“And the fact is that we don’t know what’s going to happen,” Beth said. “Only God knows that. And in the meantime, you have Peyton and me, your mom and Mack, and a whole lot of other people rooting for you.” Desperate to get through to him, she gestured toward a colorful mural that had been painted by the kids at his school and which hung now on the wall across from his bed. “Look at that. All of your classmates are behind you, too.”
Tony sighed wearily and lay back against the pillows. “I know, but sometimes it feels like it’s time to let go.” He looked plaintively at Mack. “You know what I mean?”
Though he was clearly as shaken as Beth, Mack moved to the edge of the bed and took Tony’s frail hand in his big one. “It takes a very brave person to fight this illness,” Mack told him quietly. “And, Tony, you’re the bravest person I ever met.” He glanced at Beth. “But there’s no shame in saying ‘enough’ if it gets to be too much. No one will blame you.”
Beth wanted to scream at Mack for saying such a thing, but she knew he was right, knew it was exactly what Tony needed to hear from his hero. She held her breath, praying he would say more, praying he would
tell Tony that that time hadn’t yet come.
Mack gave Tony’s hand a squeeze and reached up to settle his cap more firmly on his bald head. “But you know what?” he said gently. “I’ve got to believe that Dr. Beth here knows what she’s talking about. It’s too soon to give up.”
A faint glimmer of hope lit Tony’s eyes. “You think so?”
“I really do,” Mack said. “I think there’s a lot more fight in you, Tony. And I promise you that I’ll be right here with you every step of the way. If the day comes when you can’t bear one more treatment or one more needle, you say the word. Okay?”
Tony nodded. “And you won’t let my mom be too sad?”
Mack cleared his throat, carefully avoiding Beth’s gaze. She could tell that he, too, was fighting tears.
“That’s the thing about moms,” Mack told him. “There’s no way to keep them from being sad, but they always, always understand.”
Tony struggled up and threw himself into Mack’s arms. “I love you,” he whispered.
Beth saw Mack’s arms tighten around the boy, but his words were muffled when he responded. She didn’t have to hear them, though, to know that he’d once more said exactly the right thing.
And in that moment of deepest despair, when her heart was breaking for Tony, she also felt it fill with something else and was finally forced to admit that she was wildly, madly—and totally unexpectedly—in love with Mack Carlton.
Chapter Twelve
Mack left Tony’s room half-blinded by tears he was struggling not to shed. Oblivious to everything, he strode down the hall, took the stairs two at a time and left the hospital, needing to escape from the overwhelming emotions, needing fresh air and…hell, he didn’t know what else. He’d never felt like this before, completely and utterly helpless. He hated discovering such weakness in himself.
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