by Peter Styles
“Yeah, can be hard on the wrist,” he quipped instead, causing Mark to frown.
Catherine came back then. After giving Nicki something for her headache, she politely told the brothers that their mother needed to rest and to come back later. Saying goodbye to Nicki, Mark looked ready to bolt once they got in the hallway. But Greg reached for him, touching his shoulder.
“We need to talk,” he said, softly.
“No, we don’t.”
“Yes, we do. Come on.” Greg wasn’t going to let this go.
Mark must have sensed that, because he sighed and followed him. Bethany was sitting in the living room, fiddling with her phone. When she saw them, she stood up.
“How is she doing?” Her voice was an octave too high, probably afraid a fight would break out.
“Fine. She’s going to sleep. And Mark and I are going to talk outside,” Greg said firmly, putting his hand on Mark’s shoulder again.
Bethany faltered, “Oh. Are you… is that a good idea?”
“No, but it has to happen,” Greg cut Mark off before he could reply.
Leaving Bethany behind, they stepped outside in silence. Mark broke free of Greg’s grip and crossed his arms, scowling. He didn’t say anything. Tension was rolling off him in waves, but Greg stood his ground. He was going to try to get through to his brother.
“We need to talk about what happened. Like, really talk,” Greg started.
“This again? I’ve said all I need to say.”
“No. No, we haven’t. About anything. Not about Dad dying or what you did yesterday. We’ve never discussed any of it. Is this how it is going to be? Just us at odds? For the rest of our lives, are we going to be like this? We used to be close.”
Mark’s face was closed off. His eyes were hard. It didn’t even feel like Greg was talking to his brother. He was trying to remain calm. He thought that maybe if he approached it from a different place, Mark would be more willing to talk.
But his brother didn’t seem very open to the discussion.
Greg kept trying. “We have all these issues we never discuss. And not telling me about our mom being in the hospital was taking things too far, Mark. I know that you know that. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have had to hear it from Ben. Of all people.”
“Jewel didn’t tell you either.” His voice was hot. “I mean, her phone was dead but she still didn’t ask anyone to call. Why didn’t she ask her brother to call you? You’re angry at me, but your supposed best friend didn’t do much to talk to you, did she?”
“This isn’t about Jewel. This is about us,” Greg replied, firmly.
“There isn’t anything to say about us. There isn’t anything to do with us. If you hadn’t—if…”
“If that night had played out differently, Dad would be alive, you mean. And it’s my fault.”
“Don’t try to psychoanalyze me,” Mark snapped.
“I’m not. I’m just trying to get a dialogue going! That’s it. Is this really how you want it to be? I’m trying here!”
“Trying? Don’t play the martyr with me! It doesn’t suit you!” He was growing furious now, the anger that seemed to be the only thing fueling him whenever he spoke to Greg.
“I am not—”
“How many times do I have to repeat myself? Seriously? Dad would still be alive if you hadn’t started that fight with me. You were so—you always thought you were hot shit growing up.”
“You’re deluded. You’ve just rewritten the past to fit your own narrative because your own guilt is eating you up!” Greg exclaimed, losing his cool.
Mark faltered. It was the first time in any of their arguments that Greg had seen him come up short. It only occurred for a second, yet it told him what he needed to know. Ben had been right.
“My own guilt at what? I wasn’t the one in the car, Greg. I would have been able to warn Dad. He could have turned, pressed the brakes—something to make sure he didn’t get hit. You were too wrapped up in yourself to even pay attention to your surroundings.”
Greg fell silent, rendered speechless by Mark’s words. His brother pushed past him, storming back inside the house and leaving him alone. He stared at the ground, trying not to let Mark’s words hit him. But they were sinking underneath his skin and seeping into his core.
He had relived the night so many times in his head, reviewing all the things he could have done differently. He could have stopped his father from leaving. Told him that Mark would be home soon and it would be fine. But it had been the first time that Mark had run away from home and Greg couldn’t hide his concern.
Once in the car, his dad had asked him if he could guess where Mark would run off to. But Greg didn’t have any ideas. That had taken them on the road, resulting in the crash.
Mark’s words weren’t something new to Greg. It was something he had considered before. But to hear them said aloud, tossed his way cruelly—the guilt flared up so strongly that it felt as though he couldn’t breathe.
He turned around, anxious to get out of the house—anxious to be anywhere else.
*
Jewel still wasn’t home. Greg had called twice. No reply. Left messages. Nothing. As he stared at his blank canvas, willing some sort of creativity to pour out of him, he couldn’t shake Mark’s words off him.
It had all happened so quickly. The lights blinding him. The car flipping. The rain soaking through Greg’s clothes. If he had only been a little faster…
He let out a loud groan of frustration, bringing the brush down on the canvas. A black streak splashed against the white. Staring at it, he realized what he wanted to do. He wanted to call Ben. Even to let him know he was concerned about Jewel.
But his phone went off first. Surprised, Greg reached over and snatched it up, expecting to see Ben’s name. But it was Wayne. With a pang of guilt, he realized that he hadn’t thought about Wayne since the date. Too much going on. It wasn’t fair to Wayne, who was a good guy.
“Hey!” Greg answered, forcing a note of cheer into his voice.
“Hi Greg. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
“No. Trying to work. It isn’t going well,” he replied, staring at the black mark on the canvas.
“Working—oh, you mean the painting thing.”
Something in his tone bugged him, but he brushed it aside. He was tired and the last couple of days had felt endless.
“Yeah. What’s up?” Greg asked.
“I was wondering if you would want to grab dinner tomorrow night. Or a movie. Or both. Whatever you’d like,” Wayne offered.
A night away from everyone he knew sounded nice. Wayne was good company as well. Greg agreed instantly, relieved at having someone normal to hang out with.
After the call ended, he still decided to call Ben to ask him about Jewel. It was odd calling him, Greg mused as the phone rang and, when Ben answered, everything he had planned to say emptied out of his head.
“Greg?” Ben’s deep voice asked on the other line. “Are you there?”
“Y–yeah. Sorry.” He snapped to attention, trying to focus on what he wanted to ask him, unsure why he was feeling nervous. “Have you seen Jewel?”
“Yes. Why?” There was a din in the background and Greg realized that Ben must be at work.
“She hasn’t been home. I was worried.”
“She’s avoiding you. She messaged me about the damned dog again. Had to take it out this afternoon. I didn’t press for details. I’m about to just adopt the dog myself so I don’t have to drive to my parents’ house anymore.” There was a loud clanging noise in the background.
“Uh, you okay over there?”
“What? Yeah. Put that shit down! Sorry, not you. I’m at work. It’s oddly busy tonight for some reason.” Ben’s tone was tense and Greg felt bad for bothering him. “I don’t know what my sister’s problem is. But she’s alive.”
“I didn’t mean to bother you at work.”
“I could have ignored the call,” Ben replied and then quickly a
sked. “How is Nicki?”
“Uh, fine. She’s been taking it easy. Mark put a TV in her room since the doctor wants her on bed rest. Although if she will actually listen to the doctor… that’d be a miracle.”
“You talked to Mark? Wait, don’t answer that. Give me a second.” Greg could hear Ben cover his phone because the next words were muffled. “I’m going outside for a second. No, you ass, it isn’t for a smoke break. Do you think you can manage ten minutes by yourself or will I have to change your diaper when I get back?”
Greg snickered, marveling at how Ben could so easily insult someone and had somehow gone this long without getting punched in the face. On second thought, he was a giant of a man, so maybe no one wanted to tangle with him.
“I’m outside now.” Ben’s voice was clear and without any background noise. “What did Mark say?”
Greg hesitated; his brother’s words were echoing in his head and he almost loathed to repeat them. But Ben had sounded open as if he really did want to know and, as surreal as it had become, Greg wanted to tell him.
“Yeah, we uh, spoke. If you want to use that word. More like I tried to reach out to him and he almost bit my head off. Said it was my fault Dad died. That I could have warned him somehow of the driver coming toward the car or something.” Greg hated the lump forming in his throat as he spoke.
There was a sharp intake of air on the other line. “What did you tell him?” Was Greg imagining the frosty tone in Ben’s voice?
“Not much. I was thrown off by how angry he was and… well, it made me feel like shit, honestly. So, he stormed away and I let him. I probably shouldn’t have but…” He trailed off, the lump in his throat making it too hard to speak.
“You can’t force anything. If he doesn’t want to talk, cornering him again to try to force a dialogue won’t help. But you know that it isn’t your fault, right?”
“Yeah,” Greg mumbled, unconvincingly.
“I’m serious. It’s the driver’s fault. Both Mark and you need some serious therapy. I mean it, Greg. Don’t let his words affect you. Just forget it.”
“Yeah. I mean, I know. I’m fine, really,” he lied.
There was a pause on Ben’s end. Greg somehow knew that he didn’t believe him. He just hoped that he wouldn’t press the subject right now. He didn’t want to go into it.
“Fine. I should get back to work. I’ll let you know if I hear from Jewel.”
“Thanks. For listening,” Greg said, stumbling a little over his words.
Ben’s tone was uncharacteristically soft when he replied. “Yeah, anytime. Goodnight.”
“Night.”
Greg hung up with a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. The strangeness of the situation wasn’t lost on him. Normally, that would be a conversation he would have with Jewel, not her brother.
When had things gotten so upside down?
Chapter Ten
“Did you like dinner?” Wayne asked, as they left the restaurant.
“It was delicious. Thanks again for bringing me here,” Greg smiled.
He meant it, too. The meal had been wonderful and the conversation had flowed smoothly, just like it should on any proper date. They had discussed Wayne’s childhood and hobbies, his family, and the various places he had lived in throughout the years. Everything had gone just right.
They were walking toward Wayne’s car now. He had picked Greg up, who admittedly had been a little distracted when he first knocked. Jewel had finally texted him.
“I’m fine. Sorry for everything. For being a shitty friend just in general and for not calling you about Nicki. I’ll explain it soon.”
The text hadn’t exactly filled him with warmth. Jewel had run off, sticking her head in the sand or gotten caught up in something. To what that could be, Greg could only imagine. He hoped that she’d come home soon. He didn’t like any of this. His anger, something that he had been clinging to, was now dulled by his concern for his best friend.
Greg sat in the passenger seat, closing the car door as Wayne launched into a story about one of his trips abroad. He felt slightly envious that Wayne could travel so much. It would be fun to travel the world and leave everything behind. The thought brought him up short. Hadn’t that been why he left home in the first place? Running, Greg thought bitterly, he seemed to always want to run.
Despite his best efforts, Greg was having a tough time following Wayne’s story. He should be paying better attention. Shaking his head a little, he forced himself to turn his face so that he could watch Wayne as he spoke.
“Can you believe that? I couldn’t, personally, and Mary was aghast by the entire thing,” Wayne was saying, as they stopped at a red light.
Taking his cue from Wayne’s laughter, Greg laughed too. He felt like a phony. When had he gotten so bad at dating?
“So, Mary complained. Got the guy fired.”
Greg’s brow furrowed. “Sorry. Fired?”
“Well, that sort of behavior cannot be tolerated in a hotel. Bringing the wrong food and then trying to tell us that it was our fault? But the funniest part was like, we got home and we were going over the story with some friends and Mary had fucked up the order!” Wayne laughed as the light flicked to green.
Greg knew that he hadn’t been paying the best attention to the story, but somehow didn’t think he needed key aspects to the tale to understand someone had gotten fired due to a simple mistake--and it hadn’t even been his mistake.
“What?” Wayne asked.
It must have shown on his face so he said, “Well. That sucks for the guy, right? Did you call the hotel and tell them it hadn’t been his fault?”
Wayne blinked. “What? No. I mean, he had still been rude.”
“Yeah, but… it still hadn’t been his fault,” Greg countered.
He glanced at him as they turned onto Greg’s street. “Are you upset with this story? I didn’t mean to piss you off.”
He wanted to point out it was more than just the story; it revolved around a poor guy getting fired for someone else’s mistake. But he didn’t get a chance because Wayne kept speaking.
“Sometimes I talk too much, you know? Babbling can be a real problem for me.” He pulled into the parking lot of Greg’s apartment. “Come on. I’ll walk you up.” He opened the door and got out of the car.
Greg watched him, feeling a bit thrown by the way the conversation had unfolded. The point he attempted to make with Wayne had been casually tossed out the window. He followed him, heading toward the staircase to lead them up to the second floor.
Outside his apartment door, Wayne beamed at him. “I had a great time.”
“Yeah, me too,” Greg said, automatically. “I liked—”
Whatever Greg liked, Wayne didn’t care to find out, because his words were interrupted by him leaning forward for a kiss. Wayne’s lips pressed against Greg’s with an intense pressure. Greg widened his eyes in surprise at the sudden kiss. There hadn’t exactly been any sort of lead up to it. Wayne’s tongue was brushing against his lips and Greg reflexively opened his mouth so that his tongue could press against his.
He wondered where Jewel was and considered reaching out to Ben again—no, no, no. Why think about Ben when his date was kissing him? Even if it was about Jewel—this was wrong. He had clearly lost it if Ben dwelled in his mind during a kiss.
Greg broke the kiss, taking a step backward, pressed against his front door.
“Thanks for the lovely time,” he said, before Wayne could start talking again.
He looked a little perplexed by the sudden end of the kiss but nodded. “It was great. Talk to you soon.”
Greg nodded, anxious to get inside. Opening the door, he waved at Wayne and shut it. Locking it with a sigh, he pressed his forehead against the door and tried to collect himself. He had been worried about Jewel. That was the reason he thought about Ben during the kiss.
“Greg!” came a familiar, albeit surprised, sounding voice.
He looked over his shoul
der to see Jewel. She was scrambling to her feet, yanking down her dress and running her fingers through her hair. A man was next to her, but he didn’t get to his feet. He leaned back against the couch, avoiding Greg’s look.
He found himself staring at Stephen.
“Wh…” His voice cracked and he cleared it. “What is this?”
Jewel hurried over to him, motioning for Stephen to remain seated. “Greg, I need to talk to you.”
“Uh… you think?” He was too stunned to say anything else.
She gripped his upper arm and drew him out of the living room, away from her ex-fiancé and into the kitchen. Greg didn’t know what to say. Out of anything that Jewel could have been getting into it, Stephen hadn’t even crossed his mind.
“How was your date?” she asked, but he merely stared at her until she squirmed a little. “Listen, it isn’t what it looks like.”
“I can see the marks on your neck from here,” he remarked, dryly.
Self-consciously, she touched her skin. “Well, maybe it sorta is what it looks like. I know you must be confused.”
“Confused is an understatement. How did this happen? Where did you go? Did you just run into him after Nicki went in the hospital?” As soon as the words left his lips, he knew that wasn’t the case at all. “No… wait a minute. You’ve been seeing him for a bit, haven’t you? Secretly? Since when? That’s why you’ve been avoiding me. To the point where you didn’t even tell me about my own Mom going into the hospital!” His voice had raised despite his best efforts.
Jewel turned scarlet, wringing her hands as she looked helplessly at him. “I know I’m a shitty friend. But after that night, I just thought like why am I doing this to myself? I belong with Stephen. He made a mistake and I know that but…”
“Made a mistake? He cheated on you! While you were engaged!” Greg hissed, trying to keep his voice down.
“I know! I know that. But it was a mistake, Greg, he didn’t mean it. He’s changed. I know he has. I reached out to him, but I knew that you wouldn’t be understanding. So, I avoided you. But it was shitty to do. My phone was dead when Nicki ended up in the hospital and I could have…” Her voice caught. “I could have borrowed someone’s phone there. I didn’t. You have every right to be furious with me.”