by Willow Rose
“What does that even mean?”
“Let me tell you something I haven’t told you. Once you graduate they let you in through the gates of Heaven, and you get to see all the people you have known in your life, even some you haven’t known but to whom you are related. And that is pretty awesome. In Heaven you get to meet Jesus and, even though he will answer a lot of questions for you, there is still a lot you will not understand right away. But it will come to you eventually. Oh I forgot, you get to have a whole new body if you would like. You can choose to be any age you want to be.”
I was sobbing. But I really liked what he was telling me.
“That sounds very nice. Have you been there?”
“I go there as often as I get the chance.”
“But you have been in this realm for so long and you still can’t tell me why no one helps the people who are suffering on earth. Why no one is helping Jason.”
“All I know is that there is a lot of evil in that world. There will always be evil on earth.”
“I’m sorry, but that is simply not a good enough answer for me,” I said and turned around again.
Then I felt Mick grabbing my wrist and pulling me. As I turned he pushed me back against the wall. I felt his body pressed tightly against mine. Then much to my surprise I felt his lips pressed roughly against mine in a desperate passionate kiss. And even more to my surprise, I found myself kissing him back. It was strange kissing another spirit, but it wasn’t that much different from kissing a human. It was as though our lips were all tangled and became like one. It felt incredible. My heart was beating so fast I was afraid it would jump out of my chest. I felt so disarmed.
Then he pulled himself away from me.
“I can’t do this,” he said. “I am so sorry. I should not have done that.”
I looked at him feeling really confused. He kept shaking his head.
“It is not right,” he said. “We cannot do this again.”
I sighed. I was so confused. I kind of knew he might have feelings for me, but I never thought he would actually kiss me. I thought I was more like a sister to him.
“Maybe we should just go back to being friends again?” I said.
He looked at me and smiled. “I would very much like that,” he said.
I convinced myself that maybe Mick was right, I shouldn’t go to tell Jason, I shouldn’t interfere with what was meant to be, what was destined for him. So when Mick asked if he could walk me back to my dormitory I accepted with a smile.
When we reached the entrance, I turned and looked at him.
“About that kiss,” I said but he stopped me by putting a gentle finger on my lips.
“Shh. Let’s not talk about it. Some things are better left in the past.”
“Oh, okay,” I said. “Well, then goodnight, I guess?”
“Sleep tight.”
I gave him a very awkward hug and turned away, when he suddenly spoke.
“How did you know about the mirror in the cellar anyway?”
I turned and looked at him. “What?”
“Someone must have told you about it and where it was. Did you go through it alone the first time?”
I looked at him and he was still smiling.
“Portia heard about it from someone in the second year, why?”
“So she went with you the first time?”
I nodded a little confused as to why he was asking that all of a sudden. “Yeah.”
“Who else?”
“What?”
“Who else went with you through that mirror?”
“Uhm … Mai and Abhik. Acacia tried but couldn’t go through the mirror, why do you ask?”
He shook his head. “No reason. Just curious.”
“Oh okay … well …”
“Goodnight,” he said and lifted his hat off while he bowed elegantly in front of me.
I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. He was so old-fashioned that it became rather funny. When he heard my laughter he seemed a little hurt then he turned around and started to float away.
I moved a little in his direction. “Hey!” I yelled.
He stopped and turned around.
“It was nice talking to you again. I really enjoyed that,” I said.
He smiled and bowed again. “My pleasure,” he said.
And then he was gone.
Chapter 13
That night I dreamed about my parents again. They were still searching for me. I heard my mother calling my name and I felt a pang of longing in my heart. Her voice sounded so desperate, so filled with worry and sorrow. I woke up with a scream. It was still dark outside but I was afraid to go back to sleep—afraid of hearing that voice calling for me again. It made me so sad inside. That was when I realized that I was not the only one awake in the dormitory. Someone was sitting in the window staring at me.
“Who’s there?” I asked and got out of bed.
As I approached the figure I realized it was Jackline.
“Bad dream?” she asked me.
I nodded and came closer.
“Yeah, me too,” she said and turned her head away from me.
“Are you having dreams too? I thought I was the only one. I thought most spirits didn’t dream.”
She lifted her shoulders. “Well I don’t know about others, but I sure do dream.”
“Maybe it’s because we’re still new or something.”
“Maybe we just have a lot on our minds,” Jackline said.
I looked at her. “So what’s on yours?” I asked.
She shook her head and turned to look out the window. A bright moon lit up her face.
“You know… stuff,” she answered.
“Yeah, I know. Me too. I keep dreaming about my parents. That they are looking for me and that they don’t know I am dead. But I can’t see their faces and I don’t know where they are. I can’t even go look for them when I don’t know what they look like, and I am scared that I will lose all my memory of them. I know I get to visit them later on, when our training is done here, but that might be a very long time for them to wait.”
“Yeah, probably, but don’t forget that time goes faster back on earth than it does here.”
“Yeah, I know. It is hard to know that they might be searching for me. I really want to find them and let them know that I am fine, but all I remember is that I am an American girl, and that is a very big country to go look for two people.”
Jackline nodded. “It sure is.”
I looked at her again. She had such a great sadness to her.
“Say, do you know how you died?”
“Sure. I was shot. First some guy raped me for a couple of hours and then he shot me.”
I didn’t know what to say. I just stared at her. ”Wow,” I said. ”That’s a horrible story.”
She turned her head and looked at me. Then she smiled for the first time since I met her. A line of pearly white teeth.
“Are you kidding me? It is the best thing that ever happened to me. My life on earth was miserable.”
I was a little speechless. I hadn’t thought about that. “You were a child soldier?”
“That’s right.” Jackline’s eyes turned hard as stone.
“How did you become a soldier?”
She sighed. “Do you really want to know that?”
I nodded. “Sure.”
“I was kidnapped. It was back home in Uganda. My sister and I had left our hut to walk down to the well in our village to get water for our grandmother. She was old and sick. We had made the trip hundreds of times, but this day we never came back. After that day nothing was ever the same. I was never the same again.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“As I was drawing the water I heard a lot of noise coming from the road and women and children were running around screaming. I knew we had no chance of getting away in time and seconds later a truck came by and grabbed all the children by the well. Including me and my sister.”
“Th
en what happened to you?”
“They raped us and told us they owned us now. That we had to work for them. We had to do as we were told or they would kill us. They gave us weapons and told us we had to shoot children in the villages we came to. So we did.”
I felt a heaviness in my heart.
“You … shot children?”
Jackline nodded. Her eyes were cold and hard. She didn’t say anything. She just nodded.
“That must have been so tough. Having to do that, I mean.”
“It was them or us.”
“What happened to your sister?”
Jackline froze.
“She is already in Heaven.”
“So she died sooner than you?”
I was sure I heard Jackline sniff while she nodded.
“Then you will get to see her again soon,” I tried to encourage her.
“Yeah, well. I just hope … you know … that she has forgiven me.”
“For what?”
“For … killing her … I shot her. Three days after we arrived to the camp where the army trained us. The leader gave us both a weapon and told us to shoot at one another. They wanted to teach us how to kill, they said. They wanted the strongest to survive. If a person could kill her own sister she could kill anyone. It was either me or her.”
Jackline bowed her head and I saw tears roll down her cheeks.
“But I don’t understand why I wasn’t send directly to Hell, where I belong,” she said through her tears.
I wanted to hug her but something inside of me was frozen. I was afraid, I think. Instead I grabbed her hand and held on to it.
“Probably because you don’t belong there,” I said. “I am sure your sister is looking forward to see you.”
Jackline looked at me and wiped away her tears. “You think?”
I nodded reassuringly. “I am certain. Remember, she was the one who got out of there. She never had to kill children or be raped again. She got to go here and then into Heaven.”
Jackline was sobbing but seemed a little relieved.
“I hadn’t thought about it in that way,” she said. “Thank you.”
Chapter 14
We both went back to bed and slept until the next morning. I had no more bad dreams after that but I wondered why Jackline remembered everything so vividly about her sister and her death, when I seemed to remember nothing about my loved ones but some faceless parents who might be worried about me. Maybe it was just as Mick had told me—no two stories were alike. Maybe what each of us remembered was individual as well.
Speaking of Mick, just as I got out of bed in the morning, he came to me. I smiled when I saw him. He sat on my bed with a grin.
“What’s with you today?” I asked.
He smiled at Jackline as she exited the dormitory and left us alone.
“You are not going to class today,” he said.
“What are you talking about?” I said, not believing him.
“I have gotten permission from Rahmiel to take you with me.”
I looked at him a little confused. “To go where?”
“You’ll see.”
“Does it involve leaving the school area?” I asked a little too excitedly.
Mick smiled and nodded.
“It does?”
He nodded again.
“But why?” I asked.
“I told Rahmiel that I thought you were ready for it. And she trusts me.”
I looked at him skeptically.
“Ready for what?”
He got up from the bed and leaned toward me. “Ready to see what spirits do?”
“Sure!”
“Well it is not the only thing we do, but it is a huge thing.”
I stopped. “But … I don’t know how to make myself invisible yet. People might see me if I go to earth.”
“I thought about that,” he said and took out a small bottle with some pink fluid in it. Then he handed it to me.
“It is an invisibility potion. Drink it and no one will be able to see you.”
I looked at him even more skeptically but took the bottle.
“Trust me, it will be fine,” he said with a smile.
I looked at the pink liquid and then at Mick. He was still nodding and telling me to trust him. Then I opened the bottle.
“Well, here goes nothing,” I said and drank it. It tasted rather good, actually. Like strawberry.
When I was done, I looked down at myself. I looked exactly the same as before. Nothing had changed. Then I looked at Mick.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing happened.”
“Well, what did you expect?”
“To be invisible.”
“Only to humans. Are you human?”
“Well, I guess not.”
“See, no worries. I have got it under control. No humans will be able to see you now.” He reached out his hand and I grabbed it, feeling a little like Wendy going off to Neverland with Peter Pan.
“Remember no brick walls,” I said just before we took off.
Seconds later, we flew over snowcapped mountains and then the smooth glassy surface of the seemingly endless ocean. It was as if I had plunged into a fabulous dream. This is the way to travel, I thought. Flying through fluffy white clouds, the whole world beneath us in the bright sunlight. Mick and I both had big smiles on our faces as we flew with high speed through the thin air.
“So where exactly are we going?” I asked when we took a break halfway. We were lying on a huge cloud staring at the blue sky above us.
Mick sat up and looked at me. “We are going to get a spirit and guide her into our world.”
My eyes got big. “What?”
“You heard me,” Mick said still smiling.
“You mean to say I am going to see a human die?”
He shook his head. “Nothing dies. She will leave her human body and go with us.”
I have to say I had my concerns. I had never seen anyone die, except the people in that book—never in real life. I wasn’t sure I could handle it.
Mick grabbed my hand and looked in my eyes.
“It will be life-changing for you, I promise. Death is never the end. After this you won’t think of it as the end anymore. That is earthly thinking and you no longer belong to that world.”
I nodded. “So that’s what this trip is all about. You want me to change how I look at Jason’s death. You want me not to desire to stop it. You want to show me that death isn’t a bad thing.”
“That is right,” Mick said.
I got up and floated into air. Mick followed me.
“Is that so bad?” he asked.
I didn’t look at him. Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me so I was forced to look at him.
“Tell me what I did wrong,” he said.
I looked at him. “First of all, I don’t like being treated like a child who needs to learn a lesson. I thought you brought me here today because you cared about me, because you wanted to spend time with me. Not some teaching in how to think properly. Second, I don’t think it will work. I am never going to think it is the best for Jason to have to go through being beaten by his step-dad until he doesn’t breathe anymore. How could that ever be good for him? Explain that to me.”
Mick nodded. “I hear what you are saying. I really do. And I did bring you here because I care about you and because I want to spend time with you. If I didn’t love being with you, if I didn’t care about you, why should I care about how you feel in your heart?”
I had to say he made his point. And I was thrilled to hear that he loved spending time with me and that he cared about me.
“But I am not going to change my mind about Jason,” I said with pride in my voice. “I still think it’s wrong to know this and not do something. There has to be a better way.”
An awkward silence hung between us until Mick finally spoke.
“Shall we continue?” He asked.
I nodded and granted him a little smile.
After what felt like several uneventful hours of flying, I had to admit I was getting kind of tired. The landscape underneath us had changed repeatedly and after awhile I didn’t look at it any longer. All of a sudden we reached a big city with bright lights shining in the haze surrounding it like a comforter on a bed.
Mick headed toward a tall gray building in the middle of the city and I followed.
“What is this place? Like an office or something?” I asked as we landed on the roof and caught our breath.
Mick looked at a pocket watch in his silk vest under his jacket. “We don’t have much time,” he said, looking seriously at me. He floated down the side of the building and stopped at a window.
“This one you will be able to go through,” he said and put his right palm on the glass.
I nodded and watched him disappear through it. Then I followed him.
We entered a room filled with people. It seemed to be a waiting room. In it we saw a lot of crying people hugging and holding hands. I stared at two children no more than five or six years old for a while. After crying and hugging each other they prayed with their small hands folded. Mick signaled me to follow him. I felt a strong urge to comfort these children, as well all these people as I passed them. I felt their sorrow and worry so strong in my heart. It was almost unbearable.
We went through another window and entered a room where a man knelt alone on the floor crying.
“What is he doing?” I whispered to Mick.
“Praying.” Mick looked at me and smiled. “He is asking God not to let his wife die.”
“What happened to her?”
“She was in a car accident a few hours ago.”
“Where is she now?”
“In the operating room next door.”
Now the man became loud in his praying. He began to yell, “Is this how you treat a man of God? Is this how you treat me when I have been faithful to you all of my life?”
“Is it his wife we are here to get?”
Mick looked at me and nodded.
“That’s cruel!” I said.
“Life and death are cruel. But it is part of our world and theirs.”
I wanted to cry. I couldn’t believe Mick could be so cynical about this. Here we stood next to a man crying his heart out to God to save the wife he obviously loved, and we knew she would die in a matter of minutes. We were there to take her away. That was horrible. I became mad at God and the Angels for their cruelty toward humans. The man was pleading; why didn’t God listen? I had always thought God answered prayers, but now I saw with my own eyes that he was in fact not going to answer this prayer. Mick had been right about one thing, this experience was going to be life-changing for me all right. Just not in the way he wanted it to be. I was afraid because I was about to lose all faith.