by J. Sterling
“I know, but I love it here.”
“You just love looking at Ryan,” I said, calling her out, and she waggled her eyebrows.
“Can’t blame a girl for having a fish wish,” she said as she threw open the door and held it for me.
I scanned the room, searching for Frank in the sea of people. Knowing that he usually hung out in the back office, I was a little surprised when I saw him behind the bar, mixing a drink. His body language looked more confident than usual, his presence more commanding.
“Claudia!” Nick and Ryan both shouted at the same time.
When everyone in the bar turned their heads to look at me, my entire face flamed. I prayed my cheeks weren’t anywhere near as red as they felt.
Frank’s head shot up, his gorgeous green eyes meeting mine with a possessiveness I’d never seen from him before. Trying to keep my cheeks a normal color tonight was a moot point. If he looked at me like that all night, I’d probably spontaneously combust at some point. My entire body would go up in flames with the heat of that stare, and there wouldn’t be a damn thing I could do to stop it.
Britney nudged my shoulder with hers. “I’ll be at the bar making googly eyes at Ryan. Have fun with Frank. And don’t forget about the list.” She hurried over and grabbed the only available seat at the bar. Luckily for her, it was between a pair of good-looking guys.
Thank God she mentioned the list. I’d already forgotten all about it. Questions? What questions? This was exactly why I needed to write everything down. Frank and his sexy green eyes were more than a little distracting.
Not to mention the way he was currently carrying himself as he stalked toward me. This was a man on a mission. And from the look of him, I was said mission.
“You look beautiful. Thank you for coming.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my temple before placing his hand on the small of my back, leading me away from the bar and toward the tables.
A few whispers swirled in our wake, but I drowned them out with the mantra I was repeating in my head. Answers first, answers first, answers first.
A reserved sign held the table that Frank and I had sat at before, and he steered me toward it. He pulled out a chair for me and motioned for me to sit. As I situated myself, I looked around and frowned, realizing that it was a little more crowded than I would have liked. The conversation we needed to have was a private one, and there was no privacy here.
As if reading my mind, Frank popped back up from his chair and extended his hand. “Let’s go in the office. Everyone will hear us out here, and I’m not into discussing my personal life in public.”
Once inside the office and behind the closed door, I let out a small breath of relief. “This is much better.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely.”
He indicated I should sit in his guest chair, then dragged his own chair from around the desk and placed it next to mine. After turning it to face me, he sat down and ran a hand through his hair with a sigh.
“Good. There was no way we could have this conversation out there. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it would be so crowded tonight. Mondays are usually a lot slower.”
“It’s okay. Crowded is good.” I gave him a small smile. “For business, I mean.”
“I knew what you meant,” he said, sounding as if he was assuring me.
Frank seemed to sense my nervousness, although I wasn’t sure why I was the nervous one. I wasn’t the one who had done anything wrong. Maybe I was apprehensive for what was to come, or what was at stake. If I didn’t like the things that Frank had to say, then I wouldn’t be able to entertain the idea of dating him. But if it was the opposite . . .
“Claudia, I want to get right into it. We’ve wasted enough time, and I don’t want to waste any more.”
I swallowed around the small lump in my throat. “Okay. Hold on.” I leaned to one side and pulled the folded piece of paper from my back pocket.
Frank laughed. “You actually made a list?”
“I had to,” I said honestly.
“Why did you have to?”
“I was afraid I might forget something.”
He smiled again. “Okay. But first, I need you to know how sorry I am. I know I’ve said it on your voice mail and in text messages a thousand times, but I haven’t said it enough to you in person. I am so sorry for everything. I’m sorry I lied, and I have no excuse that would ever be good enough for you, but I hope that you understand. Or maybe you will after tonight.”
“That’s why we’re here, right?” I softened my tone. “To see if I can understand why you lied to me?”
He shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable. Frank obviously didn’t like the idea of my possibly not being able to understand or forgive him, but he’d accept my decision if it went down that way. “Should we have a rapid-fire question round, or . . .” He paused as he waited for me to respond.
“I can just go down the list, if you don’t mind. Start at the top?” I suddenly felt a little foolish for not only having a list, but for wanting to read from it like a child who couldn’t simply speak from her heart.
Again, Frank seemed to be clearly in tune with my emotions. He reached for my hand. “Ask me anything. Ask me everything. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.” He brought my hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss on my knuckles. “I like that you have a list.”
“You do?” I asked, hating that I sounded a little breathless.
“I do.” He cleared his throat and released my hand, giving me my space. “I’m ready. Ask away.”
And just like that, he’d eased any potential tension I had previously had. He’d calmed me down, leaving me ready to grill him until I had every answer that I needed.
“Why did you lie to me?”
A breath whooshed out of Frank like I’d sucker-punched him. He probably hadn’t expected such a hardball question right off the bat, but I needed to know. Frank hadn’t owed me anything when we first met, so telling me that he had a girlfriend shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. But for some reason, he had turned it into one, and I wanted to know why.
Firming his lips, he looked me straight in the eye. “Meeting you wasn’t something I ever expected. The first time I saw you, I was completely shaken up from the inside out, but also calmer than I’d ever been before. It was a complete contradiction of emotions, and before I knew it, I was bringing you drinks and doing damn near anything I could to get close to you.”
My gaze dropped to those gorgeous lips of his, which twisted into a half smile as he continued.
“I wanted to talk to you. I needed to be near you. I’d never felt that way about anyone, like I was drawn to them. Every time I looked in your eyes, I felt like I was home. I feel a pull when it comes to you that I can’t explain, even though the logical part of me really wants to be able to.”
He drew in a breath. “Each time I was with you, or saw you, I wanted more. I should have told you about Shelby, but telling you meant that you’d walk away. If you knew I had a girlfriend, you’d never talk to me again, and I couldn’t stand the thought of that. So I kept quiet. You deserved the truth, but I was too fucking scared to tell you. That’s why I lied. Because I knew you’d leave.”
It was barely audible, but his voice cracked when he mentioned my leaving, and that little vulnerability from him caused my eyes to instantly fill.
But he was right. I would have left, and I wouldn’t have looked back. I would have chalked Frank Fisher up to being just another LA douchebag with no morals.
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
He nodded. “I was. I knew I couldn’t keep lying to you, but the more time we spent together, the deeper I fell. For you, and into the lie. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how.”
“So, when were you going to? There was never going to be a good time. What was your plan? Eventually, I was going to wonder why you weren’t making a move on me,” I said, remembering how he’d avoided kissing me at the car that nig
ht after walking me out, and how confused and insecure it had made me feel.
Frank sighed. “I know, and I thought about that a lot too. But I didn’t have a plan. Like I said before, I didn’t plan on meeting someone like you. I’d been unhappy for so long that I’d just sort of accepted it. It’s hard to explain, but I felt like all my decisions about my future had already been made, and all that was left was for me to follow through. Obligation and guilt made me feel powerless in my own life, and I hated being in that position, but didn’t know how to change it.”
It was clear that I could keep pushing Frank about when exactly he was going to tell me about Shelby, but I’d probably never get a definitive answer. Not because he didn’t want to give me one, but because he simply didn’t know when he would have told me, or how. We were guessing right now after the fact, playing a game of what-if. We could run in circles around the question all night, or I could choose to move on.
“You said that you felt powerless about your life and your future. What changed?”
“You,” he said, his gaze boring into mine. “You made me want more. You woke me up. I didn’t even realize that I’d been sleepwalking through my life until you came and opened my eyes. You made me feel, Claudia. I haven’t felt anything for so long, and I didn’t even realize it,” he explained with passion in his voice.
I glanced at my list and squirmed in my seat before meeting his eyes again. “Did you break up with her because of me?”
Frank shook his head. “No. Not because of you. So much was already wrong and broken, and I knew that I didn’t want to fix it. I realized that I was wasting time living a life I didn’t want anymore. Even if you hadn’t come along, we would have eventually ended. But I’d been doing both myself and Shelby a huge disservice by staying as long as I did because of the promise I’d made to her dad.”
“Did she know about the promise?”
“She had no idea.”
“I figured.” I’d been wondering, and had assumed there was no way she could have known. If it had been me in that situation, I wouldn’t have wanted any man to stay because of a promise they’d made.
Frank tilted his head, studying me. “How so?”
“It’s just that most women want to be loved. We want to be your choice, not your obligation. We don’t want to be the person you settle for; we want to be the person you can’t live without. I would never want the man I loved to stay with me if he didn’t love me back, no matter how noble the reason.”
Frank said nothing for a moment. Since I wasn’t sure what was running through his head, I asked another question, one that wasn’t on my list.
“Have you talked to her since your breakup?” Since I’d learned they weren’t together anymore, I’d wondered if this woman wanted to stay in his life as friends. I wasn’t sure how that would make me feel.
He looked away and then dropped his head, his voice sad. “No. She said she doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“Are you okay with that?”
Shelby had been a part of his life for a really long time. I wasn’t sure anyone could come out of a long-term relationship like that unscathed, regardless of who ended things. What if her cutting him off completely made Frank realize that he wanted her back?
“I’m fine with it. It makes things easier, and I think it’s better for both of us in the long run. But I hate that I hurt her,” he said slowly, “that I let it go on for so long.”
“You don’t miss her?”
His eyes met mine as his jaw flexed. “I don’t. Is that awful?”
I shrugged. “I just think it means you did the right thing.”
“That’s what I think it means too.” He offered me a slight smile before it faded.
“Does she know about me?”
His shoulders squared. “No.”
It was my turn to stay quiet as my thoughts swirled.
“Does that upset you?” he asked. “Do you think I should have told her I met someone?”
“God, no.” The words tumbled out. “I just wondered.”
“The breakup wasn’t about you, Claudia. I wasn’t breaking up with her for you,” he said, and I knew that, so why did those words feel like a punch in the gut? “If I would have mentioned you, that’s all Shelby would have heard. She would’ve been convinced that I was breaking up with her for another woman, instead of all the other reasons why it was really happening. I didn’t want that.”
“You’re right. She would have.” It was true. If my boyfriend gave me a list of twenty reasons why he was dumping me, and another woman was number twenty on that list, it would be the only thing I would focus on.
“And this is why women are crazy,” he said with a laugh.
Pretending to be offended, I said, “Because guys are assholes,” but my tone was more serious than I’d intended, and he stopped laughing.
“Present company excluded?”
“Yet to be determined,” I said, and found myself smiling.
As if my smile gave him permission to relax, Frank’s chest heaved and his expression softened. “What other questions are on your list?”
“So impatient,” I teased.
His green eyes seemed to darken. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to kiss you?”
I found myself staring at his beautiful mouth, wondering how his lips would taste and feel. I’d imagined kissing Frank more times than I could count. “You’re pretty confident on the whole kissing thing for a guy I haven’t forgiven yet.”
“What can I say?” He gave me a grin that turned my bones to liquid. “I’m hopeful.”
Stupid charming Frank Fisher. I was hopeful too, but I still needed a few more questions answered before I could be sure.
“I’m almost done,” I said, waving my list at him, “but I have to ask you these first.”
“Ask.”
“Obviously, I have feelings for you, or I wouldn’t be here right now,” I admitted. “But I’m a little worried.”
“About what, exactly?”
“I—” I stopped and sucked in a deep breath, trying to figure out how to word my fears. “I’m worried that if we start dating and you become unhappy, that I won’t know because you won’t tell me. That you’ll pretend everything is okay when you’re really dying inside.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed and his eyebrows pinched together. “All I can tell you is that I don’t want to ever live like that again. It wasn’t fun, and it didn’t feel good.”
“But how do I know you won’t fall into that habit? Feel like you somehow owe me to stay together?”
“I can’t imagine growing tired of you, Claudia, or ever wanting out.”
I grimaced at that. Everyone was happy at the beginning of a relationship.
He held up a hand. “Just hear me out. I don’t want to go backward. I really don’t ever want to be in the position that I was just in ever again. I refuse to live my life like that anymore. I know these are just words, but they’re all I have. Trust takes time to build, and I want to put in the work with you. And for the record, I think Shelby knew I wasn’t happy, but was afraid to rock a sinking boat. If I know anything about you, it’s that you’ll never be afraid to put me on the spot and toss my ass right off the boat, if need be.”
A laugh escaped as I pictured myself hurling Frank off a small fishing boat and into the water. “You’re right. If I thought something was wrong, I’d ask you straight out. But you also have to know that I’d believe the answer you gave me, so you can’t lie to me about it.”
“I know. And I don’t ever want to.” He clasped the arms of his chair tightly and leaned toward me. “Listen, I know we started off on a rocky foundation and that’s all my fault. But if you’re okay with it, I’d like to start over. Start fresh.”
“How?”
“I’d like to take you on an actual date, for starters.” His confident smile lit up the whole room. “But I’m kissing you first.”
“Wh-what?” I stumbled on the words. “I haven’t ev
en said that I forgive you yet.”
He released the arms of his chair and leaned in close, his mouth mere inches from mine. “Do you forgive me?”
When I couldn’t respond, he leaned even closer, closing the space between us. His breath was warm and smelled of cinnamon as it feathered across my lips. My heart thundered inside my chest with a victory cry I hadn’t yet approved.
“Say you forgive me, Claudia,” he whispered, and my breath caught in my throat. “Say it.”
I wanted him so much, I was nearly bursting out of my skin, but didn’t want to give in so easily. “You’re not the boss of me.”
Frank laughed, reaching out to clasp the back of my neck, holding me in place. “I might be the boss a little bit.” His fingers tangled in my hair, and his gaze dropped to my lips as he growled my name.
And that was all it took. I caved.
“I forgive y—”
My words died on my lips as his mouth crushed against mine. I opened to him, wanting to feel his tongue, longing to taste every inch of him. He kissed me like he owned me, like I belonged to him, like he’d done it a hundred times before, and I let him. There was no way in hell I planned on stopping what was easily the most passionate kiss of my life.
This was definitely worth waiting for.
Maybe Frank was the boss of me after all.
She Owns Me
Frank
The second my mouth found Claudia’s, it went to work claiming her. Her soft lips belonged to me. The tongue she darted in and out of my mouth also belonged to me. The sweet moan that escaped from within her as we kissed belonged to me as well.
She stood up quickly and without warning, never breaking our kiss as she brought me with her, her hands pulling at my hair, tugging me closer. Her tits pressed against my chest, her body flush with mine as she ground her hips into me.
I was half certain she didn’t even realize that she was doing it, but it was driving me fucking crazy. I’d waited so long to have any part of Claudia, and now I wanted it all. I wanted to rip every piece of clothing from her body and take her right here on my fucking desk at work, but I couldn’t do that to her.