“Did you really think that was going to be the end of this?” I heard her voice.
William was standing directly in front of the door, effectively shielding her from me and me from her, but I was still trying to get a glimpse of her. I caught a flash of blonde hair, but that was it.
“What do you want Janet?”
“You already know what I want.”
“I’m not interested in rehashing the past, and if you’re going to continue to harass me then I will be forced to call the police.”
“And tell them what? You don’t want to get involved with the cops any more than I do.”
I could picture William’s mouth pressing into a thin line. She had him there. As for me, I had half a mind to walk outside and tell her to leave, but I knew William wouldn’t like that. This was his battle to fight not mine. As much as I wanted to interfere, I couldn’t.
“Do you always answer the door shirtless, or is that for my benefit?” she purred, and from my vantage point, I could see her place a manicured finger on his chest as she traced his heavy pectorals. I tasted bile in the back of my throat, and I dug my nails into my palms to keep from lunging through the door and dragging her away from him. I never thought of myself as the jealous type, but here I was quietly sitting a few feet away contemplating dragging a woman out by her hair just for touching my boyfriend.
Seems like I was discovering all kinds of things about myself since I’d met William.
“Don’t touch me,” William said, his voice deadly quiet and he brushed her hand away.
“Things don’t have to be this way, Will. We could just talk like civil people and work something out.”
I hated the fact that she called him Will. He wasn’t a “Will”. The name was way too casual for him, way too simple. He was anything but simple or casual.
“We tried that and clearly it didn’t work.”
“It didn’t work because you wouldn’t listen to me!” she nearly yelled at him as I had to wonder when all of this had gone down. Clearly they had been in recent communication, and yet William hadn’t mentioned one word of any of this.
“I listened to you, but you wouldn’t listen to me!” he growled back at her. “You’re not getting your way in this situation, and somehow you can’t seem to get that through your thick skull. I’m not interested in getting back together with you, and I have no money so you’re barking up the wrong tree.”
“So you and that little blonde from the bank are a thing now?”
“Yes, we are, not that it’s any of your business,” he spat back at her.
She laughed and it was an ugly sound. “I know you, Will. I know what kind of person you are, and you won’t be able to settle for her; she can’t make you happy.”
“You don’t know a thing about her,” William gritted out. “And you don’t know anything about me anymore either.”
Janet laughed again. It was a bitter, dismissive kind of laugh. “Maybe I don’t know her, but I do know you, and I know how you handle relationships—you don’t. So why should this be any different? Enlighten me.”
“I don’t have to say anything to you because you’re leaving,” William started.
“So you really fell for someone in this horrible, little town? Just some stupid, wide-eyed girl who is in way over her head. You know as well as I do that she’ll keep your interest for another month or so but that’s about it.”
“Why can’t you just leave him alone?” I yelled out as I stood up and approached the door, throwing it open. As soon as I realized what I’d done, I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. William wouldn’t look at me.
“Well this is a twist in our story, isn’t it?” Janet started. “Delilah. It’s good you’re here so you see just what you’ve signed up for.”
I took a deep breath and planted both feet firmly on the ground as I glared at Janet. As soon as I faced her squarely, I recognized her. She was the woman I’d waited on in the bank, the one with the large glasses who hadn’t fit in. She was the one who’d cut in line in front of William.
“Do you know why William won’t call the cops to have me removed?” Janet demanded when my eyes finally met hers. Hers were narrowed and angry, filled with jealousy.
“Because he’s a decent person,” I responded.
“No because he wouldn’t want to have the mother of his child arrested,” Janet announced proudly as she jutted her chin out and cocked her head in the direction of the car which was just behind her and still running. I glanced in the back seat and sure, enough there was a little boy, about two years old, sitting in a car seat in the back and he was sound asleep.
Shock, anger and denial coursed through my veins as I stared at William whose eyes blazed with rage as he glared at Janet.
“Yes, I drove back to Vegas to get him so I could prove to you that he was real,” Janet managed as she looked up at William, who was staring at the little boy. His expression was one of shock.
“This doesn’t prove he’s mine,” he said finally.
Janet shrugged. “I have no reason to lie about this, Will. Look at him closely, and you’ll see the truth for yourself.”
William darted a glance in the direction of the car before he began to massage his temples. “Fuck.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
William
Angel’s face went as white as a sheet as soon as she saw the baby, and she carefully backed up and returned to the house. I followed her and was barely aware that Janet was directly behind me. All I could think about was Angel.
Wordlessly, she began to search for anything she’d left in my house—her purse, etc., all the while studiously avoiding my gaze. Janet watched all of this smugly with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes blazing triumphantly. I wanted to wipe that self-satisfied grin off her face, but I knew I had to be patient and get to the bottom of this.
I wanted to say something to Angel, but what was there to say? The fact of the matter was that even though Samuel was obviously real, I still wasn’t convinced that he was mine. I wanted to be sure, but I had no way of knowing. I definitely would not have put it past Janet to make this entire story up in order to get child support. Or maybe… maybe the child was mine?
“Angel,” I began.
She held up her hand and then adamantly shook her head.
“You need to figure out what you’re going to do,” she said softly. “And so do I because I can’t handle this right now.” She took a step towards the door and reached for the doorknob.
My heart constricted painfully at the thought of her leaving because I knew it could be for good. Who knew if she would be able to forgive me? I certainly wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. Not that I’d known about the child but I had known Janet was here, and I hadn’t told Angel. I’d kept it to myself. And now it would appear I was paying for that decision.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before,” I started. “When Janet first told me we had a child, I didn’t believe her. I thought she was making the whole story up.”
“Clearly, I wasn’t,” Janet muttered from behind me, but I paid her no mind.
“I thought she was just here to try to get money from me, and I’d also thought she’d moved back to Las Vegas. I didn’t think there really was a child.”
“Obviously there is,” Angel answered, crestfallen.
“Yes, but I have no way of knowing if he’s mine yet,” I insisted.
“He’s yours,” Janet piped up. “Clearly I wasn’t lying before so why would I lie about this now?”
I turned to face her and spat out: “You have every reason to lie about Samuel’s paternity because you stand to gain from it!”
“Regardless,” Angel started as she looked at me solemnly. “There’s a little boy out there, and there’s a very real chance that you’re his father. If that’s the case, then you have a lot of figuring out to do.”
“Yes,” I agreed, “I do.”
“Don’t feel bad, honey,” Janet said to Ang
el, feigning sweetness, but her smile was anything but saccharin. “I fell for everything he told me too. Consider yourself lucky that you’re finding out the truth now and not years after you’ve dedicated yourself to him,” she finished, looking at Angel who by now had shrunk into herself, her jaw clenched, and her hands balled into fists at her side.
I had no way of telling what was going through Angel’s head, but I figured she must have been berating herself for ever getting involved with me. Inevitably, she would find a way to blame herself for what happened, just like she seemed to do with everything else. I wished I could prevent that from happening, but that was just the way my beautiful Angel was. She was nothing but kindness, sweetness, and good nature.
It was part of the reason why I loved her.
Yes, I loved this beautiful creature more than I’d ever loved anyone, Janet included.
“I, I have to go,” Angel said softly.
And that love was precisely why I stepped aside and said nothing. I had to let Angel go. I had to let her lick her wounds and emerge a stronger person. I had to let her move on and find happiness without me because I was right all along—I was no good, and this latest situation with Janet was proof of that. I’d hoped I could finally put the past behind me, but I was wrong. My past was far too scarred and ugly to leave me alone so easily. It was a past that would haunt me for the rest of my years; I was convinced of that.
And there was no way I would subject Angel to it.
“How you and I feel about this man is distinctly different, Janet,” Angel muttered through clenched teeth as she glared at my ex-wife. She took a deep breath and lifted her head, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “For the sake of that baby, I hope you’re right. I hope William is the father because he would be a wonderful dad, and any child would be lucky to have him.”
“I know that,” Janet scowled. “You don’t need to tell me. That’s why I’m here.”
Angel raised her chin and straightened her back. She swung her bag over her shoulder and marched toward the door. When she brushed past me, my hand ached to reach out and touch hers, but I decided against it at the last second.
This didn’t need to be any harder than it already was.
I had to deal with Janet regardless, and given the situation, that had to be my first priority. If the child was really mine, I would absolutely step up and be the father I needed to be. I wouldn’t shirk my responsibility.
“You drive safely now, darling,” Janet called out behind her in a sugary-sweet tone that was dripping with disdain. I flinched as I heard the sound of Angel’s door slamming shut. A second later the engine kicked over as the car pulled out of its spot, and Angel drove away from me.
Probably for good.
“It’s a shame; she seems like such a nice girl,” Janet commented as she quickly glanced at the child who was still sound asleep in the back seat.
“Don’t talk about her,” I warned, turning my attention to Janet. I couldn’t stand to look at her. I was completely consumed with fury.
“Don’t you want to meet your son?” Janet brightened as she practically skipped towards the car and unstrapped the baby. There were so many feelings parading through me that I didn’t know which one to focus on. I was extremely angry with Janet, with the situation, with myself. But I was also miserable. I was lower than I’d ever been.
So, I focused on the only thing I could focus on. I focused on Samuel. He was beautiful with soft, dark hair and a cherubic face. Something about him stirred a paternal instinct within me. Something I didn’t know I had.
“Do you want to hold him?” Janet asked as I continued to gaze at his restful, little face. He was too young to tell if he looked like me or maybe I just wasn’t good with deciphering likenesses in young children. Either way, I had a sinking feeling he was mine. And then, just as quickly, that sinking feeling gave way to pride and a protectiveness. If this boy was mine, I would see to it that he knew he had a father who cared for him and loved him, no matter the situation between his mother and me.
“Yes,” I said softly.
Janet carefully lifted him from his seat and handed him to me. I accepted the child carefully and held him away from me so I could look at him. He opened his eyes but they were still heavy with sleep.
“He’s beautiful,” I said softly as I held him against my chest and thought about the fact that this tiny child could be mine.
“Yes,” Janet answered as she smiled at us both. I couldn’t look at her. Instead, I focused on the child in my arms and closed my eyes as I held him even tighter.
“Samuel is a good name for him,” I said as I tried to force the feelings of sadness out. Angel was gone, and she wasn’t coming back. Of that I was sure. What was more, I didn’t want her to be a part of this—she deserved so much more. She deserved a man who was whole, who didn’t have a past.
Samuel began to stir, and his tiny mouth formed an ‘O’ shape as he yawned.
“I think he’s waking up,” I whispered, afraid to further wake him.
Suddenly, his eyes flew open, and he stared at me quizzically. He studied me carefully as if he wanted to learn about this man who could potentially be his father.
“Gah?” He questioned in a small voice. He began to squirm, and I hastily handed him over to Janet who looked slightly annoyed that he was awake.
Samuel continued to stare up at me. And there was something in the little boy’s expression that reminded me of myself. I wondered if I could see a little of myself in him because I wanted to, or because he actually was my son. Either way, I needed to find out for sure before I got attached because I could see how easy it would be.
“It hasn’t been easy raising him on my own, but I had no choice,” Janet confessed. “After you left, I was pretty much on my own, and I didn’t know I was pregnant. I looked for you everywhere, but no one knew where you went.”
I tore my gaze away from the baby and met Janet’s gaze squarely.
My mouth pressed into a thin line. “Are you sure he’s mine? What happened to Ricardo or whatever the hell his name was?”
“Who?” Janet looked confused as she scrunched up her eyebrows.
“Ricardo. The guy you were screwing in our bedroom when I walked in on you,” I reminded her, harshly. All of a sudden, the memories suddenly infiltrated my head, and it was all I could do to force them back out again.
Janet rolled her eyes. “You’re not still sore about that are you? I told you, he didn’t mean anything, and besides we didn’t get to finish because you interrupted.”
“How unfortunate for you.” My voice dripped with acid and barely-concealed fury.
“Regardless, the point is that Samuel is yours. End of story.”
“I’m happy to support my son, if in fact, he is.”
“He is.”
“Well, excuse me if I’m going to demand a paternity test just to make sure.”
Her eyebrows arched as her eyes widened, and her mouth shifted into a line. “You’re despicable.”
“Because I want to know for sure if he’s mine? You have a strange definition of the word.”
Janet didn’t say anything more but took Samuel and marched back to her car, put him in his car seat, and buckled him in. Then she shot me a long, scathing look. “We’re staying at the Dorchester Hotel in the middle of town. So, you know where to find us.”
She gave me one last meaningful glance, turned on her heels and began to sway her hips in an exaggerated manner. Once upon a time, that walk of hers would have driven me crazy with desire, but now it just filled me with disgust. If I was Samuel’s father, it would be an absolute shame that I’d have to be in contact with this awful woman. Janet did not have a single iota of authenticity in her body. I had no idea how I ever loved her as blindly as I had. As I watched her drive away, I realized that what I thought I had with Janet was nothing compared to what I had with Angel.
But after today, I highly doubted Angel would ever want to speak to me again, and I wasn�
��t sure I should reach out to her. I had a lot of issues to sort through including whether or not I was Samuel’s father, so for now, it was best if I put my relationship with Angel on pause. Well, if there was anything left of our relationship.
The thought of turning my back on her after I promised I wouldn’t, and after everything we’d shared the past few weeks killed me, but it was necessary. Someday she’d understand that I’d sacrificed my own happiness to ensure hers. And this wasn’t a situation that would make her happy.
I walked back into the cabin with a sigh, my heart so heavy it felt like it would fall right out of my chest. It was hard to believe that just two hours ago, Angel and I were all over each other on the couch. Just two hours ago, I was the happiest I’d ever been. Just two hours ago my life was… perfect. And now look what it had been reduced to.
I could still hear the sound of Angel’s heavy breathing, and I pictured the look of trust and adoration shining in her eyes. I gritted my teeth against the imagery as I slammed the door shut behind me with unnecessary force. The sound reverberated throughout the tiny cabin, and it woke Camille up. She was dozing in the corner, but her ears perked when she heard the sound, and she immediately padded over to me.
She pushed her muzzle into my hand and whined quietly.
“Camille, what am I going to do, eh girl?” I absentmindedly scratched the back of her ears. “It seems like my life just fell apart right before my eyes.”
Camille whined up at me as if commiserating. I sighed.
“I wish,” I started, shaking my head that I was even bothering talking to a wolf who couldn’t understand me. But she was the only companion I had left. “I wish I could call her or see her,” I said as Camille looked up at me with wide eyes. “But I can’t. She deserves better.”
I was right. I couldn’t drag Angel into this crappy situation. Especially if Samuel turned out to be mine. It wouldn’t be fair to Angel. Frustrated, I kicked the back of the closest chair and sent it toppling over.
Why did Janet have to show up now? Why did she have to come back into my life now and with a child, no less? How could my life have been this messed up? Maybe it was a sign that I was never meant to be happy. Maybe because of my past, I was destined to live the rest of my life in my own self-imposed solitary confinement.
Mountain Man Page 17