“So that makes you worth less?”
He shook his head. She didn’t understand. How could she? “I promised her I’d watch over him, that I’d bring him back to her. I always came through before. With everything in my life, I’ve always come through.” His throat tightened. A weight bore down on his chest. “But not that day. That day, I failed.”
“Have you talked to her? Since it happened?”
“Yes.” He didn’t want to think about the memorial service, let alone the other night outside the coffee shop.
Sherry’s words were burned into his mind. He’d never forget them. Never forget the pain in her eyes. Never forget the look of betrayal and contempt.
“It didn’t go well, I take it.”
“You could say that.”
“She blames you?” Natalie set her glass on the coffee table and folded her hands between her knees.
He wasn’t sure how to explain it to her. None of it was simple. None of it was easy. “I’ve never had to sacrifice to get what I want, not like she and Jimbo did, even before his death.”
“And that’s why you think he’s a better man?”
“He was a better man.” Of that he had no doubt.
“Obviously, I didn’t know him. But if you admire him that much, that says he was pretty special.”
Gray nodded, and he took a sip of scotch. He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t even know if his voice would function.
“I don’t know Sherry, either. And I don’t know what happened in Yemen. But for what it’s worth, I think you’re a very special man.”
He shook his head and looked away. He couldn’t say her statement didn’t feel good. It felt better than good. But he wasn’t sure he could bring himself to believe it.
She slipped her hands free and shifted closer to him. She raised her fingers to his jaw, stroking his cheek, and turned his head back to face her. “I’m not saying that to be nice. I mean it with all my heart.”
Shivers fanned over his skin, starting at her fingertips and moving outward like ripples in a pond. He skimmed his knuckles down the silky blond length of her hair. He didn’t know if he was ready to absorb the idea that she cared for him. He couldn’t quite digest it. But the surge of feeling he had in answer was no surprise. “I appreciate the thought. Really. But no matter how special you think I am, it can’t be half as special as you are.”
Her lips parted. She tilted her face up to him.
He didn’t know if he deserved it or believed it, all he knew was he couldn’t stop himself. He brought his lips to hers.
She tasted sweet, and warmth moved through him just as it had when he’d first sipped the whiskey. He kissed her lightly, grazing her lips with his, teasing her with his tongue. Then he gathered her closer and delved deep.
She looped her arms around him. Her breasts pressed against his chest under the soft terry cloth. Her hair fell over his arms, soft as silk.
He breathed in the light floral scent of soap and something so much sweeter beneath. He skimmed his hand under her robe and touched smooth skin. The last time he’d touched her like this, he’d known it was wrong. That she didn’t know the real him. That she wouldn’t accept him if she’d known the truth.
Now every movement, every sensation, felt natural. As if he couldn’t do anything else. As if he shouldn’t even try.
She shrugged the robe from her shoulders. She was naked underneath, and in the back of his mind, he wondered if she’d hoped for this all along. Longed for it as much as he did.
He cupped her breasts in his hands and found her nipples with his fingers. He massaged and kneaded, and suckled them with his mouth.
She arched her back, pushing into him, asking for more. A moan vibrated low in her chest, and he thought it was probably the sexiest thing he’d ever heard. When he returned his lips to hers, she clawed at his shirt, opening buttons, discarding it on the floor.
He held her skin to his and kissed her deep. He didn’t know how long they kissed like that. Time seemed to blur. Thoughts seemed to fade until there was only her. Only them.
She lowered her hand to his waist and unbuttoned his jeans. The denim was tight, his erection stretching the fabric to its limit. She lowered the zipper.
He stood. This time he didn’t bother to divest himself of the jeans first then the briefs. He pushed them all down his legs at once, eager to be naked, wanting to be as close to her as he could get.
He paused for a moment and just drank in the sight of her sitting on the couch naked and flushed. He’d seen her naked before, and still the beauty of her body, the perfect shape of her breasts, the trim V between those long, long legs…he was struck all over again.
She moved her own gaze over his chest, his belly and down to his cock. And when she smiled, he felt like a damn superhero.
He had no idea if he deserved this woman, but he wanted to. He wanted to make love to her at night and wake in the morning with her wrapped in his arms. He wanted to bask in her smile and make her the most important part of every day. He wanted her to be proud of him. He wanted to give her everything.
He knelt down on the carpet.
She leaned forward, and he claimed her mouth. He littered kisses down her neck and over her collarbone. He suckled her nipples and devoured her scent.
Nudging her knees apart, he slipped his body between them and fitted his mouth to her most intimate place.
She tasted fine and clean. He moved against her, thrust his tongue into her. And when her moans built until she cried out his name, he knew he had to hear more of that glorious sound.
Their night had only begun.
Chapter Fourteen
When Natalie woke, she was sore. Muscles she hadn’t even realized she had ached. And she knew she had Gray to thank.
He lay on his back next to her, one arm cupping her shoulder, the other cradling her to his chest. Last night, he’d made her feel things she never had before. Not just sexual pleasure, although there was plenty of that. But deeper satisfaction. He not only had a talent for protecting her, he made her feel strong all on her own.
She could stay in this bed, in his arms, all day and still not want to leave by nightfall. She nuzzled his neck, and his arms tightened around her.
“Umm, ready for more?” He peered at her through one open eye.
She giggled like a woman who was in love.
Her heart stilled. She couldn’t keep a smile from spreading over her lips. A woman in love. That was what she was. As much as she hadn’t wanted to admit it, deep down she’d known she was falling for Gray Scott for a long time. Maybe since they’d met. But it was only now she could let the thought fully bloom in her mind.
Last night, he’d made her feel so loved. So strong. So secure with the world. She wanted that feeling forever. And she wanted this man in her bed for the rest of her life.
“What is that smile for?”
A jitter seated itself somewhere between her stomach and her chest. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell everyone she knew. She wanted to scream it to the world.
“Is it a secret?”
“I suppose.” Not exactly as bold as she’d been feeling. But it was the best she could do. After she’d discovered Gray was her bodyguard, she’d planned to hold off on investing her feelings until she could see if he would leave when his job was over. Obviously after last night, his job was far from over. Also, after last night, she’d already invested her mind, heart and soul.
“Can I guess what it is?” His hazel eyes sparked green among brown, like trees sprouting in spring.
She propped herself up on one elbow. The sheet fell away from her body and exposed her bare breast.
His eyes flicked down her body. Raising his hand, he brushed her nipple with a finger until it was stiff with want.
A breath shuddered from her chest.
He grinned. “So, can I make a guess?”
She swallowed into a dry throat. In a perfect world, he would guess what she was feeling
. He would swear he was falling in love with her, too. He would promise to never leave. “You can try.”
He pressed his lips together and rolled them in toward his teeth. “You are thinking of what we did last night, and you’re hoping I’ll be up for more this morning.”
She laughed. It wasn’t that she wasn’t thinking that. How could she not? But she was a little disappointed he hadn’t professed his undying love all the same.
So much for her perfect world. Good thing this one was pretty close. “Care to try again?”
He sat up on his pillows and put his arms behind his head. His body stretched long and lean on the bed. The sheet slipped down, exposing his muscular arms, broad chest and six-pack abs.
She traced the line of his scars with her eyes, scars she’d kissed and licked last night, as if by her kiss, she could heal them. She could only hope that would be true, with time. And that he could heal hers, as well.
“Hmm.” He hummed, the sound rumbling in his chest. “I got it. You want to try something totally different? Out in the garden? Swinging from a tree?”
She smiled and focused on his eyes. “Last night meant a lot to me, Gray.” Her voice was barely a whisper, and she hadn’t really said all she wanted to, but she still felt a jolt from exposing herself so much. A jolt, and then a surge of power.
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple moving smoothly up and down. “It meant a lot to me, too, Natalie. More than you could ever know.”
She leaned down and kissed him, her hair falling around them like a curtain, cutting them off from the world. They kissed for a long while. Finally Natalie sat up straight, the sheet slipping totally off her body.
Gray’s gaze roamed over her breasts and down between her legs. Everywhere his eyes touched, she felt hot as fire. He circled one nipple with a finger, then trailed it down between her legs. “Is this what you had in mind?” He pushed back the sheet. He was ready for her, as hard as he had been last night.
She glanced away from him just long enough to get a glimpse of the clock. “We have to get ready for brunch.”
His eyebrows shot upward. “Brunch?”
“Ash and Rachel are opening their gifts this morning.”
He moved his hand between her thighs. “And we can’t skip it? Or at least be a little late?”
She stifled a moan. “You still haven’t guessed what I was thinking.”
“Please say you weren’t thinking of brunch.”
She shook her head, his motions and the sensations they were causing making it difficult to speak.
“Okay, then you got me. What was it?”
“I was thinking that if we shower together, we might save a little time. And water.”
His grin spread over his lips and sparkled in his eyes. “Oh, yes, I like how you think.”
WATCHING NATALIE WALK buck naked to the bathroom, Gray had to smile. She was truly gorgeous, and so sexy, it made him hot all over again looking at her, not that he’d cooled yet.
Far from it.
But as hot as she was, he had to admit it was more than physical beauty with Natalie. She had a generous heart, a good soul. She made him feel stronger than he had with any other woman he’d ever known. Strong and good. Like he could do anything.
He had no earthly clue how he’d gotten so lucky. All the fortunate circumstances of his life—the affluent parents, his physical gifts, the purpose he’d found in the military—all of it paled in comparison to this woman and the fact that she cared for him.
From the bathroom, he could hear the water of the shower hiss to life.
He sat up and threw the covers back. He was ready for her still. He seemed to be ready all night. And if she’d have him, he was pretty sure he’d be ready for the rest of his life.
The doorbell chimed through the cottage.
Great. He levered himself up from the bed. So much for his hopes of joining Natalie in the shower. He strode to the living room, dug his robe out of his suitcase and threw it on. Then he strode to the front door and peered through the monitor window.
Natalie’s brother Ash stood outside.
A small jolt of adrenaline spiked Gray’s bloodstream. He opened the door. “I thought we were going to the hotel for brunch. And aren’t you supposed to be starting your honeymoon?”
“Police work doesn’t always wait for brunch. Or for honeymoons.” Ash walked into the living room. He appeared to take in the surroundings casually, but Gray could see what he was doing. A once-over of the living room stalled at the couch, the couch on which no one had slept last night. He cocked his head as if listening for something, then turned back to Gray. “Natalie?”
“In the shower.”
Again, he eyed Gray and the empty couch. “Sleep well?”
“Yes.” Gray braced himself for the brotherly warning that was sure to follow.
But instead of launching into a protective diatribe à la Devin, Ash gave a businesslike nod. “We have pushed the brunch gift opening thing back to dinner. We have a lead.”
“Something on the shooter?”
“Possibly.”
“What is it?”
Ash stepped past Gray and into the room. “You might want to sit down.”
Sit down? Gray shook his head. How did that make sense? Was he trying to protect his sister? Keep her from getting upset? “Natalie is in the shower. She can’t hear us.”
“I’m not concerned about Natalie.” He shrugged. “Well, not any more concerned than usual. This morning, I’m concerned about you.”
“Me?” Again he shook his head, as if rearranging the brains inside would help make sense of the detective’s strange comments.
“They received this at the Kendall Communications office.” He pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to Gray.
The printout of an email. Gray skimmed the page. And as he took in the name of the sender, his gut ached as if he’d been punched.
The image of the person in the light blue sweatshirt flitted through his mind. The shooting at his apartment. The sniper at the wedding. He’d been wrong about all of it. So wrong. Natalie might have been the target, but only to get at him.
How could he have let this happen? How did he not see where the threat was coming from? How could he have been so deaf and blind?
He looked up at Ash. “Have you found her?”
“We’re looking for her now.”
“I can give you a list of people she knows.”
Ash nodded. “That would be helpful.”
He knew there was more that he had to do. More that he couldn’t put off, no matter how much it hurt. “And tell Devin he needs to hire a replacement. Natalie must be protected, and I can’t put her in danger anymore.”
NATALIE TURNED OFF the shower and grabbed a towel from the bathroom rack. When she’d stepped under the warm spray, she’d been expecting Gray to join her. He never had. Finally now that her skin was starting to prune, she couldn’t wait anymore. She needed to find out why.
She dried her body and wrapped the towel around her hair in a turban. Last night had been amazing, and to wake in Gray’s arms this morning and hear him tell her last night had meant so much to him, as much as it had to her…that had been even better. There could be countless reasons he hadn’t made it into the shower. A myriad of things might have come up. She needn’t feel uneasy.
So why did she?
She paused at the door. It was still open a few inches, just as she’d left it when she’d jumped under the hot spray. She could detect no sounds from the master bedroom. Bracing herself, she pulled the bathroom door open wide. The bedroom was empty. Gray’s clothes were gone from the floor. There was no sign of Gray ever having been there, except that the bed was made.
The tremor in her stomach had nothing to do with the fact that she hadn’t had breakfast. She hurried into the closet, selected a pair of jeans and a sweater and pulled them on. She rushed back into the bathroom. After untwisting the towel, she ran a comb through her hair and left it to air-dry.
She had to find Gray.
She tried to push away the irrational fear beating at the back of her mind. He wouldn’t just leave. He couldn’t. Not after she’d opened her heart to him. Not after all they’d shared.
She rushed out to the living room.
Gray stood in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hand, staring out the window above the sink. He was wearing the same jeans he’d changed into last night, and a long-sleeved T-shirt stretched across his broad shoulders.
He hadn’t left.
Natalie’s knees felt shaky with relief. She pulled in a breath, trying to steady herself. She had no reason to fear. None at all. She needed to keep calm. She pushed a lilt into her tone. “Decided not to take a shower?”
He turned to face her. Lines etched his forehead and bracketed his mouth. He looked more serious and worried than Natalie had ever seen him. “Coffee?” He turned back to pour her a cup.
“What happened?” Natalie wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but she forced the words out anyway. “Was someone hurt?”
“No one was hurt. It’s not that.” He crossed the kitchen and handed her the cup.
“Thank God.” She wrapped her fingers around the warm ceramic mug and breathed in the rich scent. At least she didn’t have to worry that yesterday’s gunman had done something horrible to someone she loved. But as relieved as she was, she suspected she wasn’t going to like whatever Gray had to say. And she had a feeling the warmth and belonging and joy she’d felt last night and this morning were at an end. “So tell me.”
“Your brother Ash stopped by.”
“Ash?” She could just imagine her brother finding Gray half-dressed, figuring out what had happened between her and Gray and making some kind of attempt to protect her heart. “Did he say something to you? About me? About us?”
“I think he knows I spent the night in your room last night, but no. That’s not why he was here.”
Her throat felt dry. She tried to swallow, but it was no use. “Then why?”
“They got a lead on the shooter.”
“But that’s fantastic.” There had to be something he wasn’t telling her, something he was hesitant to say. “Why is that not fantastic?”
Secret Protector Page 13