by Lena Bourne
“No one else needs to risk their lives,” I say firmly. “I made this mess and I’ll fix it.”
The way I felt all the way here, namely that I was coming home to face my death is just a faded whisper on the edge of my mind now. I want to live. With Misti. Somewhere beautiful and calm. But the soul-crushing knowledge that my death is near is back now, more ferocious and overpowering than ever.
“You just worry about playing your part right, and I’ll worry about the rest,” Cross says. “If you pull this off you’ll have nothing to worry about from me or the rest of the brothers anymore.”
“I appreciate the second chance,” I say since the scene calls for a ‘thank you’ of some sort.
“It’s the only one you’re getting,” Cross says sternly. “Now go get a couple hours of sleep. We’re leaving before dawn. And get ready to move that girl of yours out with the rest of the women and children.”
Some of them have already left, but we’ve decided to move the old folk, along with my grandma out closer to morning. Misti will go with them. I hope.
Misti
All the dust in the cramped little bedroom made me sneeze a bunch more times before I finally figured out that if I just lie really still it settles. The cool night air coming in through the open window is washing away my tiredness. My legs don’t ache anymore, my heart has found a rhythm that’s as strong and steady as it’s ever been and my vision is fine. I didn’t even have to take my pill for those symptoms to clear. I don’t want to sleep, I want to wait for Blaze to return and kiss me some more. It’s the cure for my heart. The only one that always works.
The creaking of the door as it opens sends my steady heart fluttering and turns my breaths shallow and quick. I did fall asleep. But seeing Blaze outlined in the faint light from the hallway is the best dream on either side of being awake.
I sit up, holding one hand to my chest to calm my racing heart, and extend the other towards him.
“Come, join me,” I say, my voice husky and seductive, even to my own ears.
“Sorry for waking you,” he says as he walks through the door and makes it creak again as he closes it.
“I’m not,” I say and smile, hoping he can see it.
I think he does. I certainly see the smile on his starlit face. The bed creaks even worse than the door as it struggles to take his weight and the cloud of dust that rises from the mattress and sheets is insane. This time I don’t sneeze though. Maybe I’m used to it.
And once he wraps me in his arms and kisses me, I’m not even in this dusty room anymore. I’m in the life I used to only watch other people living. The life I never thought I’d live.
His kiss turns fiercer and deeper, his hands hot against my cool skin as he slides them up under my shirt to cup my breasts and pinch my nipples. I pull away from the kiss just long enough to help him take off my shirt and bra, then lean in and kiss him again while I struggle to undo his belt buckle.
The need to feel his hot skin against mine, the need for him to enter me and make us one, has been a burning constant in the back of my mind since the last time we were together. But I’m only just realizing that. I need him with a fire that’s too hot to ever quench.
He’s the one that pulls away this time, but makes short work of removing first his shirt and then his boots and pants. I follow suit, peeling the rest of the clothes I’m wearing away so fast I’m breathless and probably flushed in the cheeks by the time his eyes graze over my naked body on his bed.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers as the look in his eyes touches all of me like the softest caress. “Especially by moonlight.”
“You’re not so bad yourself,” I say and smile, running my foot along the hard ridges and valleys of his tanned abs.
He chuckles and grabs my foot, kissing my ankle and then my calf, continuing on across the soft flesh of my inner thing. I moan as his hot breath passes my clit, but that’s not the destination of his kisses. He presses on, lightly peppering my belly and my breasts with soft kisses, not forgetting my hard, pulsing nipples. By the time his lips reach my neck, I hardly feel the lumpy mattress beneath me. Pure pleasure and bliss are holding me up, softer than any bed, softer than a cloud.
He spends some time letting me taste his lips, before trailing kisses back down my neck and across my breasts, stopping at my nipples, licking and nipping, and even biting them until my head’s spinning from the intensity of that bliss.
This time, as his kisses trail down again he doesn’t skip my pussy. The barest touch of his lips there sends searing hot jolts of pleasure straight through my core. After just a few licks and nips I’m moaning loudly, arching my back towards his hot, soft lips, the cool breeze coming in through the window no longer cooling my skin at all.
“Take me,” I whisper and his lips leave my clit to travel back up to my neck and my lips.
He spreads my legs wide as he kisses me hard, his cock entering my pussy just as his tongue enters my mouth. It’s too much, it’s not enough. Those two thoughts bounce off each other as he starts thrusting his cock into me, going deeper each time, pulling out almost all the way.
I’m breathing as well as I can past his kiss that’s so deep and urgent and all-encompassing.
The speed of his thrusts increases, jabbing at that special spot inside me which is the source of the searing, suffocating, red hot waves of pleasure beating against me, inside and out. The world is a swirling of color and pleasure and bliss. I don’t know if my heart can take all this. And at the same know it can.
I’m open to him the way I’ve never been open to anyone, heart, mind, body, and soul as the crashing waves of pleasure he’s giving me strip away the last of my doubts and fears, the last of my bad memories, the last of the pain, suffering, and loneliness, scorching it all away to reveal the beauty and promise of tomorrow, of a new dawn and a new day, which will be better than all the rest have been until now.
I’m moaning into his kiss, which is still as strong and deep as ever, joining our souls together just as his cock is joining our bodies.
Soon, I can’t withstand the beating of the waves of pleasure anymore. They take me under, cover me whole as they pull me down to the very core of this bliss, this pleasure, this everything our joining is.
I don’t remember him stopping the kiss, but when I open my eyes, he’s looking down at me, stars reflecting in his eyes, his cock growing soft inside me.
“That was the best I’ve ever had,” he whispers.
I smile. “Me too.”
And we probably both know I don’t have much to compare it to, but I think we both know it’s the absolute truth too.
“Until next time,” I say anyway and smile.
He chuckles and moves. I gasp as his cock slides out of me, which just makes him chuckle louder.
Somehow he manages to lie down beside me and wrap me in his arms. His body is so hot and so strong, and so close to mine I feel every beat of his heart. My own fluttering, spent, wonky little heart tries to mimic the strong, steady beat of his. And as if by magic, it’s succeeding.
He’s not just my lucky charm, he’s so much more than that. He’s the strength I never had, the health, the joy, and life.
“I want to stay right here, just like this, forever,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around his and squeezing tight.
He grows taut and his sharp inhale tells me this was not the best thing to say.
“I have to go do something tomorrow, or more like in an hour or so,” he says and it feels like a stab straight through my heart. He means something dangerous.
“Why?” I ask.
“To clear my name, to do right by my family, to end the feud once and for all,” he says, his voice growing colder with each word.
“I have to do this, Misti,” he adds before I can reply. “Please understand.”
I nod to prevent myself from saying the wrong thing. What I want to do is scream, “No!” louder than I screamed it when his father almost shot him. But as I let th
at impulse pass, I find I do understand. Vaguely.
“You think you can stop all the killing?” I ask.
He squeezes me tighter for a second then relaxes his arms. “I think I can make a serious dent in it. Especially now that my father seems to be on board. You know, after almost killing me?”
He chuckles at his joke even though it’s not funny at all.
“I’m sorry you had to live that,” I say.
“It’s out of his system now, so there’s that,” he says and I have no idea what he’s actually feeling, his voice is that cold and dead.
“This is not how I pictured this place from what you told me,” I admit. “It’s actually much worse than that.”
“Generations of pointless death and senseless killing will do that,” he says. “I did try to explain to you that it was dangerous. Not that you listened.”
He gives me the softest peck on the cheek before lying back down.
“I can’t believe they just let me walk in here,” I say. “Everyone in the yard just stared at me like I was a ghost. They just stood aside and let me pass.”
“They saw the White Lady,” he says and kisses my cheek again. “They’ve been talking about you all night. Your white skin glowing in the moonlight, just gliding in as though sent from heaven or something. That’s how my cousin Ross told it. You must’ve been a sight. I’m sorry I missed it.”
“Oh my,” I say. “That’s quite a description. I had my jacket and jeans on, so they could only see my face. And even that was probably red from the long walk.”
“Nope, they saw the White Lady come down from Heaven to guide us to a better life,” he says. “That’s what I see too, actually. I just didn’t tell you about all this before because it’s a little too intense.”
“And you never intended to bring me here in the first place,” I say and he smiles sheepishly.
He gives me a longer, more lasting kiss this time.
“You probably think we’re all crazy, and we kinda are,” he says and chuckles. “But we’ve all been raised on my grandma’s tales of omens and charms and such. Actually, once I started to get to know you better, that dream omen stuff faded. That’s also why I didn’t tell you. I just sort of forgot.”
“Is your grandma here?” I ask. He’s right. All this talk of omens is very intense. Maybe the lady that’s the source of it all will be able to explain it better. “I’d like to meet her.”
“You will,” he says and shifts so he’s looking down at me again. “In a couple of hours. You’re leaving with her to go somewhere safe while I do this thing.”
I inhale sharply but he prevents me from replying by kissing me on the lips this time.
“No arguing,” he says during a brief pause. “It’s the way it’s gotta be. But we have some more time now, so let’s stop talking about death or dying or even heaven. Though you are plenty heavenly.”
He laughs at his joke and I smile too. Then he kisses me again, deep and hard, yet soft and unbelievably fulfilling at the same time.
My heart is still matching his beat for beat and not missing a single one. I’m not one for having blasphemous thoughts, but he’s right, this is heaven on earth. Or as close as one can get to it.
Blaze
The sky outside was still dark when a knock on the bedroom door was followed by Ace’s voice telling me it’s time to get moving.
Misti and me, we weren’t asleep. We were just lying in my bed in each other’s arms, our eyes closed, basking in being close to each other.
“Be right there,” I tell Ace and begin the process of letting her go. It won’t be easy. I knew that before I came to her last night. But a few much too short moments of kissing and holding each other tight later, the knock comes again.
“Don’t screw around,” Ace says. “Either of you. The van is waiting.”
It takes an insane amount of effort not to ignore Ace and kiss her again.
“After all this is over, we’ll take a few days just for ourselves,” I say. “And by days, I mean weeks.”
She giggles and nods, gives me a quick kiss and sits up, her white skin glowing despite the near-perfect darkness in the room now that all the stars are gone from the sky. She’s shivering in the cold before she manages to get dressed.
Ace is still outside our door when we emerge. “Finally,” he says, fixing his eyes on her so hard I almost call him on it right then and there. “Now Misti, I don’t want to hear any kind of argument—”
“I’ll handle it, Ace,” I tell him sharply. “Don’t talk to her that way.”
“It’s fine, Blaze,” she says in a soft voice. “He’s just worried about me. My sister must be too.”
“Be that as it may,” I say, looking at Ace pointedly as I wrap my arm around Misti’s shoulders. He finally gets the hint, grins sheepishly, and steps aside so we can walk down the hall.
“Blaze,” Gran calls from the kitchen as we pass it. “I would like to meet her.”
I feel Misti tense beneath my arm, but she’s the one who walks into the kitchen first.
Gran is standing by the counter, dressed in her Sunday best. For most of my life, I haven’t seen her wear anything but worn-out sweats and mismatched tops, except at funerals. Today she’s wearing a black floor-length skirt with a floral print, a white blouse, and a black cardigan—the same outfit she wore when we buried my mother.
I don’t know who is more shocked, her or Misti, as they lock eyes. Both inhale at the same time and both sort of glide towards each other. My grandma’s not even using her cane as she does.
“I dreamed about you once,” she whispers as she brushes her hand down Misti’s cheek. “A long, long time ago, when I was about your age I dreamed you would come and bring us peace. It was so long ago I forgot about it. But now you’re here.”
She told us about the White Lady dream many times, but maybe she forgot. Misti is starting to look more and more shocked as Gran goes on.
“That’s all well and good, Gran,” I say. “But you can stop now. You’re scaring her. She’s not used to hearing all this superstitious mumbo jumbo.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Misti whispers.
Gran fixes her watery eyes on mine, grinning. “You don’t think it’s mumbo jumbo.”
I grin back. “I don’t. But we have no time now.”
“I had other dreams,” Gran says. “Of dark-haired men and dark-winged crows. Ones I never told you about.”
She probably has told me about them, but we both simply forgot because there were just too many of these prophetic dreams of hers to remember them all.
“It can wait a little longer then,” I say. “They’re waiting.”
I usher Gran out of the kitchen and wrap my arms around Misti the moment her back is turned.
“Don’t take her too seriously,” I tell her. “But she does have a lot of interesting things to say. Not about God, though. I hope you won’t take offense.”
She grins at me. “She just said I appeared in her dreams. How cool is that?”
I smile and kiss her, and then Ace is rapping on the doorframe, and this time he marches us to the van that will take Misti and my gran, and several other old and young ones somewhere safe.
A sickening tug is followed by absolute nothingness as the door slams on Misti’s smiling face and the van drives away.
I have to wipe her out of my mind now, forget her beauty and her sweet taste, forget how alive she makes me feel because I’m riding to face death once again.
“When you’re ready,” Ace says.
I turn to him. My father is standing a few steps behind his back and it’s his eyes I meet.
“I want to visit my uncle’s grave before we leave,” I say and my father nods solemnly as Ace grumbles.
“Alright,” Ace says. “I’ll wait here.”
The silence is thicker and heavier than a concrete wall as I walk half a step behind my father to the cemetery—a plot of land at the back of the compound, with rows and rows of crosse
s adorning it.
No flowers grow here, no matter how many are planted. Trees don’t fare any better.
It’s not hard to know which grave is my uncle Reggie’s. The white cross is brand new and looks like it was hammered into the ground just yesterday. His name, just Reggie, is burned into it in black.
I stand there, looking at the mound of earth that covers his body, and wish I brought a candle to light. But not as much as I wish that he was still alive.
“He’d be proud of what you’re doing,” Pa says in a hoarse voice. “Peace. That’s what he always wanted. And you’re bringing that now.”
I glance at him, then focus my eyes back on the cross.
“You sound like you actually care, Pa,” I say. “Where’s this change coming from? Last night, you almost put me in the ground right next to Reggie.”
He clears his throat but doesn’t say anything.
When I look at him his eyes are very soft.
“My way led to that,” he says after clearing his throat again. “It was the wrong way. I’m glad we’re going with Reggie’s now. I hope he sees us.”
He glances up at the sky. “He was right and I was wrong. I won’t ask for your forgiveness, son, I don’t deserve it.”
I’ve never heard my father speak this way. That’s why I know he’s speaking from the heart. Who knew he still had any of it left?
“We’ll talk when I get back and this is all over,” I say. “Then we’ll see what’s what. Are you ready to play your part?”
“Yes, I am,” he says firmly, his hand jerking like he means to pat me on the arm or something, but he doesn’t. “Go, they’re waiting for you.”
And I do.
It’s not an easy thing Cross wants me to pull off today. But for Misti and my family’s peace, I will do it.
26
Blaze
About ten miles into our ride, me and Ace are encircled by Cross, Hawk, Tank, Rook, and Scar. It’s a heady feeling riding in a group of bikers and I always found it exhilarating. Even today, it washes away my tense nervousness and makes me feel like I’m part of the road, of the world, actually. Few other things make me feel that way. Misti does. I can’t wait for the day I take her away from this sorry place in a group of bikers just like this one.