He must have called her while I was changing. I’d have to remember that for the next time he wanted to woo Natalie off for a few weeks’ vacation. One call to Elsa, and he’ll have a family vacation he’d never dream of.
“Just remember payback is a bitch, brother.”
He didn’t stop laughing even after I pulled the sliding glass door closed off the porch.
I found both Natalie and Sarah looking longingly at the makeshift bar set up near the den.
“Hey, stranger. You gonna have a drink or just stare at it all damn day?”
My sister-in-law gave me a soft smile and came around to hug me.
“You doing okay?”
I inwardly groaned. How many times was I going to ensure assure people that I was fine?
“Yeah. How’s my favorite sister-in-law?”
Natalie smacked my arm and Sarah giggled like a school girl. Didn’t know how my brother dealt with that. She couldn’t be older than twenty- six but the way she carried herself was like a teenager.
Guess that was why he hardly ever brought her around the family.
“I’m good.”
I heard the door open behind us as I lifted a Budweiser to my lips for a long pull. The icy beer hitting my tongue cooled me off instantly, and I saw Asher’s narrowed eyes, from across the room. He was the single brother, the free one. He couldn’t be tied down, the essence of his freedom clung to him like a cloth. I grinned, then slid my arm around Sarah just to mess with him.
“Get your damn hand off my woman, Luke.”
I shrugged it off, a teasing grin plastered across my lips just for him.
“I’m just messing with you. Been too long since I’ve been able to do that, Ash.”
He nodded and I handed him a beer, following him back out to the porch where I could see even more family and friends were arriving.
I had grown up hundreds of miles away yet with my aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews coming out of the woodwork it felt as if I was finally back at home, where I belonged.
It was fucking good to be home.
The distinct scent of pine and wood met my nose as I pulled my car up to River’s Treasure Park. My eyes were met with rows and rows of tall oak trees, grass that was in desperate need of a good mow and lines of picnic tables set out for the gorgeous autumn day. I glanced back to the bright faces of my girls, Avery bouncing with energy and excitement for our first picnic this year while her sister was already reaching for her door. I raised my eyebrows, making sure she knew to wait for me to open it for her. In this day and age, there was no way I would let even Lily, with a mind much older than her years, out of my sight for a second. Pulling the key from the ignition, I grabbed the bag of food and the small refreshment cooler that sat on the passenger side and reached out my hand for Lily.
Her bright eyes brimmed with such excitement as she jumped down from her seat and took my hand, I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my face. She was most definitely my daughter. She may even like the outdoors more than I did. I knelt beside her and lifted two cloth blankets from the bags at my feet.
“Would you like to set the blankets down over the hill for me?”
Nodding happily, she kissed my cheek and I watched her run into the meadow until she stopped at a smooth place in the grass and looked back at me. As I went around the trunk and opened the opposing door, I couldn’t stop my smile. Seeing the happiness cover my baby girl’s face covered me with the stillest sense of calm.
“Mama, are we here?” Avery said, rubbing her eyes as the Texas sun covered her face.
Gently unbuckling her, I lifted her out of her booster seat and set her feet on the ground to pull her favorite teddy bear from the backseat. She pulled Mrs. Teddy to her chest and gave me a big toothy grin. Closing the door, I held her hand and we ventured into the park for a much needed day in the sun.
“This is perfect, Lily. Good job!”
She grinned as we approached and I sat on the white blanket while Avery crawled onto my lap. Bouncing her lightly on my knee, I began to braid her hair.
“Can I get the food, Mama?”
“Yes, baby. I packed us sandwiches.”
Lily’s golden blonde hair fell in her eyes when she peered into the shopping bag I packed their lunches in.
“Oh my gosh, it’s my favorite!” Smiling as if I had packed her a gourmet meal, Lily pulled her hands to her chest and looked up at me. Dropping my arms from my youngest, she too peered into the meal bag. It would have been so easy to make a few ham and cheese sandwiches and call it a day, but my girls were picky little eaters and I wanted them to love our family picnics just as I did. For Avery, I made tuna salad and added celery and lots and lots of mayo. It was her favorite. While Lily was simply easy in almost every way, the girl had hated meat ever since her fourth grade class visited a farm last spring. So I made her potato salad and a veggie sandwich.
Two small arms wrapped around me then and I laughed, cuddling them tightly before relinquishing them as they unwrapped their lunch. I then pulled the chicken kabob salad I’d brought for myself and sipped from a Coca Cola.
“Do you know that Jennie Lexington is the smartest girl in my class, Mama?” Lily asked around a bite of her food and I shook my head, choosing not to tell my lovely daughter that she told me this almost every day after school. Her classmate Jennie had skipped two grades to Lily’s class and from what I could tell, wasn’t shy about telling that fact to everyone who would listen. I thought Lily could be jealous of her, which to me was crazy since she was the brightest kid in my book.
“I may be biased baby, but I think you’re the smartest.”
She frowned at me and shook her head at me as if I was crazy.
“No, she knows like everything.”
Cocking my head to the side, I gave her an indulgent smile.
“Does she know all of her multiplication tables?”
Lily took another bite of her burger and clapped her hands loudly.
“I don’t think so, Mama. Do you really think I’m smartest?”
I nodded, took both their plates to the nearest garbage can and knelt beside my wide eyed third grader.
If I had learned one thing from parenting thus far, it was that it took more than once to tell a child something. This had to be the fifth time I’d told her how smart she was, how she was unique and beautiful and could do anything she set her mind to, yet something in my girl wouldn’t let her mind absorb it.
I’d have ten more of these talks with her if it meant even an inkling of it penetrated that stubborn head of hers. I remembered many times I sat down with my darling girl and tried to explain why her father had left.
She was so young when Lucas left us, how could I expect her to understand that he had a choice to stay but, inevitably, left us?
How could such a sweet, kind little girl understand that her father didn’t want to stay?
I didn’t know the answers to those questions, but still, I had these talks with her.
As she narrowed her eyes at me, I realized something.
That damn stubborn streak? She had gotten that from Lucas.
“You are the brightest, kindest person I’ve ever met, Lily. And I promise I’m not just saying that because I’m your mom.”
She looked up at me, blinking, and I could practically see the wheels turning behind her eyes.
When she launched herself into my arms, I felt my smile reach across my cheeks and my heart twist in my chest with relief.
She finally got it. She believed it.
“I love you, Mama.”
I squeezed her tighter, kissing her cheek and head gently.
“I love you more, Lily.”
The sun began to set on the horizon as I walked across the park with Avery settled over my hip, her head lolled on my shoulder as she slept. I gently placed her back onto the blanket and pulled Lily’s sweater over her shoulders as a slight chill covered the autumn air. Smoo
thing my hands down her sweater, I buttoned it up down the middle and pulled her hair out of her eyes.
“Did you have fun today?”
Nodding fast, Lily smiled brightly, causing my chest to fill with warmth and the same grin to cover my face.
“I love it out here, Mama. What if we went camping? Do you think Avery and Meg would like it?”
I nodded and smoothed my hand over her dimpled cheek.
Yet another beautiful imperfection she got from her father.
“I think so. Maybe next weekend, baby.”
Lily’s green eyes lifted up, away from mine and narrowed just slightly.
“I think there’s someone in the trees, Mama.”
Instantly, the hairs on the back of my neck lifted and my heart doubled in rhythm. My head turned back as I turned and heard the rustling of the red and yellow leaves on the oak trees nestled in the woods of the park behind us.
Someone was watching us.
A shiver raced up my spine at the thought of it and then I heard more footsteps. My body locked up as I ushered Lily closer to me and began to wrap Avery in a blanket to ward off the cold.
I should’ve known better than to stay after sunset in the park. Though it had a reputation of being the safest park in the city and was family owned and run, that sure as hell didn’t mean that a few creeps couldn’t sneak in.
At the sound of the brush being pulled back from the oak tree closest to us, a haunting shiver shook me and I got the pepper spray out of my purse, knowing if it meant protecting my daughters, I would use it.
But suddenly a blanket of calm covered me entirely and enabled me to breathe again. Something deep inside of me told me that I was okay. That I was safe.
The calm was something I’d never experienced until I met Lucas.
Opening her eyes, Lily looked up at me with eyes filled with confusion.
“Is he gone?”
I pressed her face with butterfly kisses and nodded, resting my forehead against hers in an effort to calm her.
“I’m so sorry that man scared you, Lily bear. You’re okay, now. We’re all okay.”
She nodded, her always curious eyes lifting again to survey the grass and woods behind me and then to my utter confusion, her eyes filled with tears.
The wind blew gently on my face as my oldest daughter started to sob. But what confused me wasn’t that she was crying. Lily was a lot like me in some ways, including the way she wore her heart on her sleeve. We were emotional. And fear could often turn into sadness in a situation like this; I knew that.
But her face wasn’t afraid. It was happy and confused and hope filled her eyes so brightly it lit up her entire face.
“Daddy!”
Lucas. The thought of him came to me sharply and abruptly as my daughter’s scream pierced the air.
The repetitive motion of rubbing Avery’s back was the only thing that I could focus on as my daughter ran from my lap and toward the man standing just three feet in front of us. I had to turn to see him when he was approaching and now that my eyes were feasting on six feet and six inches of Lucas Jones I was thankful I did because otherwise I would never have believed he was here.
His face was masked by the shadows of the trees surrounding him, his head covered in an even darker beanie than he was wearing at the Jones’ estate but there he stood.
Rugged.
Real.
Painfully attractive and tortuously close in proximity.
The moment he saw her, he dropped to his knees and I watched as his eyes also filled up with the very emotions I witnessed in Lily.
Hope.
Love.
Wonder.
“Daddy!”
Her voice was muffled as he pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her, cradling her head with one hand while the other gently smoothed across her back. Her cries covered the distance between us, penetrating the silence with the deafening sound of our daughter’s sorrow and happiness.
“Shh, hey, let me see you. That’s it, Lily bear.”
She blinked up at him in that way she did when she was on the verge of tears, her arms never letting him go.
“Y-you were gone, Daddy. Why did you go?”
His eyes filled with regret and anguish while his hands, shaking with emotion, cradled her face gently.
“I had to go, pumpkin. I’m so sorry I had to leave you, but I am here with you now. I’m here, Lily.”
Her tears kept falling and it pierced my heart with the force of a punch each time.
She deserved so much more from him than the devastation he caused.
“You’re really here?”
Nodding, he leaned down and kissed her forehead, the moment between them painfully intimate to watch.
Avery’s eyes opened as she rested against me and she smiled at me easily, her thumb grabbing my hand as I continued to rock her. The habit she formed as a newborn was still present as a child and though I should coach her out of it, right now the comfort she feels is too meaningful. I couldn’t help the reminiscent thoughts racing through me as I watched Lily press her cheek to Lucas’ chest and the first soft smile covering her angelic face.
You missed her entire world, Lucas. I wish you had been here. You would have been so happy.
His head lifted from the top of our daughter’s head and he looked at me with those deep, haunting eyes.
“Thank you,” he mouthed.
The sight of Lily in Lucas’ arms was so precious I hardly minded when she told me she wanted to hold his hand instead of mine as we moved from the park and toward the parking lot. I expected to feel anger or sadness at his sudden presence or the thought of his presence in Lily’s life again, but that all vanished by the joy bursting from my daughter. Her happiness was all that mattered to me.
Even if that meant letting her father back into her life for the chance to watch her grow and thrive.
His large hand gently met Avery’s back as we turned toward my jeep and my breath halted instantly.
Those big, olive eyes met mine and he tilted his head to the side, regarding me, waiting.
“This is Avery,” I barely whispered. I didn’t know how to go about telling him of the one secret I’d kept from him all of these years.
Avery is yours.
You missed her whole life when you left and I was too angry to tell you.
I’ve kept her from you out of spite because I knew seeing you would hurt worse than your betrayal had.
As his hand smoothed up and down her back, Lily wrapped her arms around her father’s knee and gave me a heart stopping smile, causing my heart to twist with love for her. Reaching down to stroke her unruly hair, I blinked into the haunting eyes of the man I’d always loved.
Lucas.
My heart called out to me, a siren call in the storm of emotions I had experienced since the moment he waltzed into town.
My little girl stirred, her face tipping up to look at me and of course her feet started kicking, the motion telling me she wanted to get down. Placing a tender kiss over her hair, I lowered her feet to the ground and watched as she looked up to the larger than life man standing next to her. Brilliant brown eyes just like mine widened, the confusion evident behind them. She didn’t say a word, just watched him as if he was a mystical creature. The wonder that clouded her eyes was clear as day.
She knows Lucas is her daddy. Even at only six years old, my little girl knows who he is.
Tipping my head down in shame, I bit my bottom lip in preparation for telling him the truth, once and for all.
Roughened fingertips met my chin and gently lifted until my eyes were seared with his gaze.
“She’s mine, isn’t she?”
My eyes widened as I nodded, afraid of his reaction.
He loved Lily so much. Why hadn’t I given him the chance to love Avery, too?
“I-I never meant to . . .”
Lucas shook his head vehemen
tly, lowering his head closer to mine and looked straight into my eyes.
My heart was racing in my chest and my body chilled with the knowledge of the connection we still shared.
Through the distance and the time and the anger, it was still there.
How is that possible?
Involuntarily, I stepped forward and placed one palm against my cheek without breaking our stare.
“I did this, Kaelyn. Don’t ever think that even an ounce of the mess I made back then was at all your fault. You were my angel. My saving grace. It didn’t matter the distance between us, Kel. You still are my saving grace in this world. Believe that, if you can believe a word I tell you, believe that.”
All my breath left me as he gritted words filled with regret and fierce devotion. Our foreheads met and we breathed together, as if to absorb the gravity of this moment.
Something inside of me told me that even if I couldn’t forgive him for leaving the way he had, this moment right here could be a new beginning for us.
Whatever that may be.
“Daddy?” Lily’s sweet voice broke the silence and I stepped back from Lucas and looked down at her.
“Can you come home with us?”
“Oh, pumpkin, I don’t know if he can . . .”
Lucas’ eyes met mine again and I saw the desperation in them.
Taking my hands gently, he implored with me, giving me a look I knew I couldn’t say no to.
I should have the strength to, and maybe I would, but the thought of saying no to not only him, but my two daughters, was too much for me to bear.
“I know I have no right to ask this after everything I have done to destroy your trust in me, but if you can find it in your heart to allow me to get to know them again . . .”
I was nodding before he even got the words out.
Moving closer to his ear so Lily wouldn’t hear my words, I said, “Just don’t let them fall in love with you if you aren’t going to stay.”
Lucas’voice was rough against my ear when he answered, “I’m not going anywhere, Kaelyn.”
Lily’s grip on my open palm never faltered as I led her across the street that night. I could feel her eyes on my skin, my face, my hands; assessing me, watching me as if I could disappear at any moment.
Breaking Lucas (Trinity series Book 2) Page 10